It's Raining Women
by Bri Nara
Summary: England tries to jinx France, but fails and Gender-Bends several nations. What madness will happen? Sequel to 'It's a small world after all'. Warning: AU, OOC-ness, pervy-ness, crack, references like the title , and whatever else gets thrown in.
1. Oops Iggy did it again

**United States of Hetalia Productions**

_Me: (Runs in with a microphone) Hi peoples~! Remember me? From 'It's a small world after all'? Bri Nara-chan?__ Weeell, __here's the Nyotalia sequel__~!_

_Prussia: YEAH~!_

_Me: Before we get started... I suggest you get a cup or something cuz I repeat things so often (gags and such) that this fic is coming with its own drinking game (if y'all want to.)_

_Prussia: We're going through with it?_

_Me: Yes! We forgot to in 'It's a small world after all' so we need to do it now! One gulp of (*insert drink you're allowed to have legally here*) for every time this fic makes a reference (movie/person/anime/TV/book/ etc). One sip for every time something breaks (Fourth Wall included). And one sip for every time someone gets cut off, followed by a sound effect.  
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_Prussia: You really should've thought of this sooner.  
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_Me: I know. Now, Bruder Gil, the first disclaimer of the fic if you please~._

_Prussia: Bri-chan doesn't own Hetalia. If she did, that would mean she owns me. And I'm **way **too awesome to be owned._

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><p>"England, I don't think this is a good idea..." Miss Fairy sighed.<p>

"Of course it's a *hic* good 'dea!" the drunk Brit laughed.

After a long night at the bar with the other Allies, France managed to pissed off a drunk British man. A drunk British man with a closet full of magic... spell-books. So the second he got home, he grabbed a spell-book along with his cloak, and marched (*cough*stumbled*cough*) down to the basement.

"Let's see... 'Spell to make someone an eternal idiot'... it would make no difference... 'Spell to make your cooking the most delicious in the world'... don't need that... 'Spell to make a man's pride disappear'... Perfect!" England grinned evilly. "Say goodbye to your good looks, Frog~."

Miss Fairy glanced at Flying Mint Bunny. "Help me out! This might turn out like that spell he did in 2008!"

"You mean that incident with the gumdrops and peanut butter?"

"No, I mean the one with the toothpaste and the pogo stick."

"Oh, that was _bad._ We're still ban from that pub."

While Flying Mint Bunny and the fairy were talking about what would happen if England went through with the spell, he actually finished. Ok, he was slurring the words to an ancient language _a lot_, but he still finished.

There was a bright pink light that lit up the entire room. FMB and Fairy finally stopped talking and stared at the light. "Oh cra-!" BOOM!

Morning in Germany...

Germany woke up as the sunlight lit up his face. He sat up and looked at the other side of the bed. A sleeping mass under the blankets. Italy. As usual.

Germany sighed. He got out prepared for the long day of work ahead. By the time he took a sip of morning coffee, he heard Italy finally get out of bed.

"GEEEEEERRRRMMAAAAANYYYYYYYY!"

Germany nearly choked on his coffee. What could Italy _possibly _be screaming about this early in the morning?

Germany went back upstairs. "What is it Ita-" He got a good look at Italy. "...ly?"

Staring back at Germany was a brunette with long hair. A girl with a cute face, despite look that obviously said 'What the hell is going on? O_O'. The only thing covering her up was a pink tank top and yellow boxers. And... oh gott no... was that a haircurl...?

"Germany!" The brunette immediately threw herself onto Germany.

"Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"

"But Germany! It's me, Italy!"

... The hell? "B-But Italy's a boy-"

"Ve~!" Yup. That's _definitely _Italy. "I don't know what happened! I _knew _I was a boy when I fell asleep last night."

Germany blushed a shade of red that reminded Italy of pasta sauce. He finally got a girl in his bed for once. The thought made Germany give himself a mental slap. Get your head out of the gutter, soldier!

"How do you think this happened?" Italy asked, tilting his... her... their... head to the side.

Germany thought for about a second before he knew what happened. Something similar happened before, except he and Italy woke up as children the last time. And the same man was probably responsible.

Morning in England's house...

"Ugh... What on _Earth _did I do last night?"

England was lying face-flat on the floor. Miss Fairy and Flying Mint Bunny glanced at each other before looking back at the Brit.

"Ah... Fairy... Bunny... What did I _do _last night?" Why does my voice sound higher? Why is my spell-book on the ground? And why is Flying Mint Bunny staring at me like that?

But of course England didn't ask the last questions out loud.

"Uh... well... Fairy help me out here..."

"You sorta tried to jinx France... while drunk... and..." The fairy held up a shiny mirror. Staring back at the nation was girl with light-brown hair.

"..."

"...England?"

"Excuse me for a moment..." England got up and entered the bedroom.

"... Well... that went well."

"BLOODY HELL!" England screeched from his... her... their... room. Then England walked out with a deadpan look. "I messed up _again_. I fail."

"It's not that bad!" the bunny said with a big (*cough*fake*cough*) smile. "At least it's only you-"

**_"ENGLAND!"_** several pissed off voices around the world shouted at once.

"Uh... look at the bright side..."

"What." Total pissed off deadpan.

"You're prettier than Miss Fair-" SMACK.

About an hour later...

"OPEN THE DOOR!"

"NEVER!"

"MON AMI, OPEN THE DAMN DOOR ALREADY!"

"DUDE, LET US IN!"

England leaned against the door. There were at least 9 pissed off nations outside. Ready to bust the door down.

"Wow, you'd think he'd _like _girls chasing after him." Flying Mint Bunny commented. This earned him a smack from Miss Fairy.

"England! I thought we agreed no more spells, ahen!"

"We agreed no more _aging _spells." England replied.

"Whatever you did, it made me look like my sisters and you turned my pipe into a shovel, comrade." a feminine voice that sorta sounded like Russia stated.

WTF? Pipe into a shovel from a gender-switch spell? How does that work? _At all?_

"OH F_ IT!"

England felt a hard kick through the door. "OH SH-" BLAM. And Romano kicked the door down.

"Where is that f_ing British bastard?" Romano snarled while searching for England.

"Down. Here." The Brit said from under the very heavy wooden door.

"Oh mon dieu! Romano you're crushing une mignonne fille!" France pulled Romano off the door and helped this 'fille' up. "Etes-vous bien, ma chere?"

England was expecting to see the foolish Frenchman he's argued with since they met. Instead, he saw a young woman with dark-brown hair and violet eyes. It was entirely different from the person he knew, but there still something familiar about them. Apparently France felt the same, because violet eyes widened at the same time green ones did.

"Angleterre...?"

"Frog...?"

France smiled. "Vous avez l'air tres mignonne, Angleter-" SMACK. Yup, it was France.

"Hello! Over here! Aren't you gonna fix us?"

England looked over at the angry mob. America, Germany, and Spain seemed fine. It was hard to tell with China. But everyone else were definitely girls. Italy had long brown hair tied up in a ponytail. Japan's hair got a few inches longer, but the nation's stature was somewhat shorter. And Japan's eyes actually looked brighter. Russia's hair was waist-long and the childish smile almost looked believable with that face. Romano had shoulder-length dark-brown hair that looked like f_ing silk. And the lead pipe, was indeed a shovel.

"I'm sorry everyone. It was only meant for the Frog here. I'm sorry especially to you, China. I didn't mean to make you any more feminine then you already wer-" BLAM WITH A WOK.

"I'm still a man, ahen."

"Well I'm _sorry_ you have such feminine lo-" BLAM. "Will you _stop _that? I need to fix this." England pulled out a spell book and his wand. "Blast... what was the spell I used?"

"Ve~! Can we have a sleepover here until England figures out how to change us back?" Italy suggested. Because everyone would be surrounded by pretty girls and what's better than hanging out at a friend's house?

Several nations gave Italy thumbs up and a wink. _'Very very good idea, Italy.'_

"... Um..." Japan said. "That's a good idea Italy-kun... chan... Eh? Nani?" Brain-broke. Japan didn't know what honorific to use. 'I always could use 'Italy-san'... but if I use that than Italy might think I'm breaking our friendship and that wouldn't be polite. I still could use san... No! I am a Japanese man... girl... wait, does that mean I can finally wear a high-school-girl sailor-suit uniform? GAH! FOCUS, JAPAN! You need to remember your politeness! But... how should I address Italy?'

Then England and America glared up at the ceiling... What, guys... girls... peoples?

"For Pete's sake just use female pronouns for the gender-switched ones!" America and England shouted together.

Fine. England crossed HER arms and sighed as SHE looked at the other GIRLS.

"Um... Angleterre..." France said with a very wide grin. "Don't we have to buy new clothes as long as we're like this?"

England facepalmed.

This was going to be a _long _spell...

**Me: Behold! The Nyotalia sequel! (Sorry if it's not funny, I shall try.)  
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**Everyone: ... What.**

**Me: Ok, so it's my first Gender-Bender fic... But that's ok so long as I try! (And if not, I still have a backup plan) (*Sweatdrop*)**

**Germany: (Stares at the title of the fic) Did you _seriously _name the fanfiction 'It's Raining Women'?**

**Me: Why not? Mikiko-chan suggested a reference to the song 'It's Raining Men'. And I named the last fic after the song that plays over and over on a _Disney _ride.**

**Germany: What were you going the name the Nekotalia fanfiction then? A song from The Aristocats?**

**Me: ... Maybe.  
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**Italy-chan: Ve~! Review!  
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	2. Awkward girly moments

_Me: Hi peoples~! (Peace sign) Sorry if this starts out a little slow. ^^; I can't dish out all the epic-ness in the first chapters or else everything afterward would be less epic, y'know?_

_Prussia: ... Oh mein gott, there are chicks in here. And I don't mean Gilbird's family members for once._

_Me: (Puts a hand on Prussia's shoulder) Yes, Bruder. Soon you and shall join and act pervy to your heart's content. But not yet._

_Belarus: What about me? I want to be with Brother._

_Me: Sister._

_Belarus: Whatever._

_Me: Soon._

_Belarus: (Pulls out a knife)_

_Me: Eep! O_O U-Uh, someone do the disclaimer while I... (Runs like the wind)_

_Belarus: (Chases after Bri with a knife)_

_Ukraine: (Pops out of nowhere) (BOING) Bri doesn't own Hetalia. If she did-_

_Me: AAH! DX (Still running)_

_Belarus: LET ME BE WITH BROTHER!_

_Ukraine: Sister! Don't kill her! (Cries) Please! (Runs after Belarus) (BOING BOING BOING)_

_Warning: My dirty mind is sneaking into my writings for once._

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><p>"I can't do it."<p>

"Sure you can, Romano."

"I can't f_ing do it."

"I can't do it either."

"Man up, Iggy."

Death-glare. "That is possibly the _worst _thing to say in this situation."

"It's a _store _how hard is it to walk in?"

The nations had just finished buying clothes for the girls. Nice shirts, pants, shoes (they finally understood why girls loved shoe-shopping), and _tiny mini-skirts_. The last thing to do was buy... the unmentionables.

Which was why they were now standing outside Victoria's Secret. The place where men are forbidden from entering.

"Why won't you suck it up and walk in?" America asked.

"Because I still have my manly pride!" England shouted.

"Says the one in _pigtails_." France said.

"Shut up!"

"And bought a crap-ton of skirts."

"I said shut up!"

"And is now wearing fake-glasses 'because they make me look cuter'."

"I SAID SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP! AND THEY'RE NOT FAKE, AFTER REALIZING IT WAS YOU, I WENT BLIND! YOU UGLY FROG!"

Japan sweatdropped. "There's no shame in it, England-san." Japan was taking this opportunity to finally be in a school girl uniform. A _Japanese_ school girl uniform. Which meant a mini-skirt. He finally understood what it was like for Sailor Moon. And Kagome. And Tohru Honda. And every anime girl he's ever drawn in a mini-skirt. It felt _awesome._

"Ve~ Everyone's staring at us."

The girls sucked up their pride and took their first step into the store. England and Romano instantly started blushing. France grinned at the perv's heaven before him. They found out Victoria's Secret all right. They saw the underwear in _bins_, that _they _would have to dig out. As former men with _some _decency, it felt very wrong.

Romano stepped back, took Spain's hand, and dragged the Spaniard into the forbidden zone.

"R-Romano? _What are you doing_?" Spain squeaked Romano dragged him in.

"IF I HAVE TO GO IN THERE, YOU'RE GOING IN WITH ME!"

England followed Romano's lead and grabbed America.

"NO! HEROES DON'T LOOK AT LADIES' UNDERWEAR!"

"_What about bloody Wonder Woman_?"

"That's different!"

Italy smiled and dragged Germany inside the pink lacy hell. "Ve~ You can help me pick something."

Suddenly the mental image of Italy holding up a lacy red thong saying 'How's this~?' sprung into the German's mind. Germany was red as Romano. 'Ok, I've _got _to stop reading all those magazines.'

Russia just picked up China.

"AAAIIIYYYAAAAH!"

Later...

Romano threw her bag of clothes to the floor and instantly ended up on the couch. "Never. Again."

England slumped into the armchair. "Agreed."

France was smiling as she carried half the mall in her bags. "What's wrong?"

"You kept us in until closing time, sprayed us with every French perfume within sight, and you molested that poor clerk at the ice cream shop."

"Just spreading l'amour~." France said with a grin as she started groping England.

"O-Ow! Get off! GROPE YOUR OWN DAMN BOOBS!" England managed to shove France away.

France stared down as if she _just _noticed them there. France stared blankly then reached up to do the natural thing men do in Gender-bender fanfics.

SQUISH. "Mon dieu." SQUISH SQUISH SQUISH. "Mon _dieu. _This feels... _Aaaah~_!"

England facepalmed. "I'm sorry I said that. I'm _so _sorry I said that."

"You should be sorry. We'll never be able to remove this mental image."

Japan came downstairs by now. In a Sailor Moon cosplay. And his inner otaku screamed 'HELL YEAH!'

"Why are you all staring at me?"

"Japan. The mini-skirt."

"What about it?"

"Too soon."

Even more later...

"Ok... who's sleeping where?"

The girls looked at each other, each one of them holding their bags of clothes. What a good question that was.

"Ve~ Can I sleep with Germany?"

Germany looked at Italy for about .2 seconds before looking away blushing. Romano facepalmed at her sorella's stupidity. France had a rape face on that could've had a sign saying 'Rated M Smut'.

"Um... no..."

"I know Angleterre et moi can sleep in the same room." France wrapped an arm around England. Now her rape face said 'Yuri'.

"Then I'll sleep with you guys." America said with an oblivious smile. "I have to save England in case she gets in trouble with France."

And yet as he said this, the rape face switched to 'Threesome.' Where _did _France learn how to make such expressive rape faces? Probably deviantart or something...

"Wait, I have a better way to do this." England ran off, and came back with a top hat full of paper scraps. "You pull out the name of your roommate here. Japan, you first."

Japan reached into the hat. The moment she read the name, she turned a nasty shade of green. Everyone saw the name as the paper fell to the floor. Russia.

Russia smiled. "It will be just like 1905 all over again, right comrade?"

"H-H-Hai..."

Romano shoved her hand into the hat. She was grateful she ended up with Italy.

Which left England with France. As usual. Fate must _love _putting mortal enemies together.

"This sucks."

**Me: Okay, here's the new chappie. Sorry, but the updates will come slower (cuz I suck at any class with numbers so I'm 'technically' ban from writing 'til June). But worry not! I shall sacrifice my lunch and try my hardest to update!**

**Prussia: WILL I BE IN HERE OR NOT? DX**

**Me: YES YOU WILL, DAMMIT! YOU'VE BEEN REQUESTED TOO MANY TIMES TO IGNORE!**

**Japan in a mini-skirt: Review.**


	3. Rough morning and Schwester

_Me: Hi peoples~! (Stomach growling from lack of lunch) I got the new chappie up! :D_

_Prussia: Will I be-_

_Me: YES, BRUDER. YOU SHALL BE IN HERE, GODDAMMIT!_

_Canada: There's no need to yell, Bri._

_Me: Who're you again?_

_Canada: I'm Canada._

_Me: Then please hold back Bruder._

_Canada: (holds back Prussia) Bri does not Hetalia. If she did, she would actually remember who I am._

_Prussia: (Breaks free of Canada and kicks the door to the fourth wall down)_

_Me: HEY! We just painted that door!  
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><p>The room was filled with the Spanish national anthem as Spain's phone rang.<p>

Spain sat up from the bed and stared at the clock beside the bed. Four in the morning. Who the _hell _calls someone at four in the morning?

"Spain! Answer it before I go blitzkrieg on your ass!" said the very grouchy German on the floor beside the bed.

'Wow, Alemania is cranky...' Spain thought as he grabbed the phone. "Hola?"

"Spain! Where the hell are you, man? I told you and France there was this awesome bar that was having an 'All you can drink' night!" said the incredibly loud voice on the other end of the phone. "The awesome me scored _so _many girls!"

"That's sounds great, amigo." Spain yawned. "But me and France got all the girls we need here." Spain was dead-tired, and wasn't exactly thinking about what he was saying.

"Wait, WHAT? Where are you guys?"

"En la casa de Inglaterra." Beep. Beep. 'Wait, did Prussia just hang up on me?'

Somewhere in Europe... there was an albino nation running like hell towards the English Channel.

About two hours later in England and France's room... (Based off joke Chatalia suggested for this)

CHEEP! CHEEP! CHEEP!

'Bloody hell, when did I get an alarm clock?' England thought.

CHEEP! CHEEP! CHE- SMACK!

England smacked a hand on the annoying yellow thing on the nightstand. And a green eye opened to see fem!France smiling at the sleepy Brit.

"Bonjour, Angleterre~."

"AAAAH!" England scrambled out of bed. "I THOUGHT I SENT YOU TO THE FLOOR, FROG!"

"I slipped back in bed. You _are _a very heavy sleeper, Angleterre. No alarm clock on Earth could wake you up."

Then they both remembered about the little yellow plushie thing England was still squishing.

"OH MON DIEU! PIERRE!"

And as France started panicking over one of her pet birds, England thought 'That's it, I need to fix this mess.'

Later...

They were all in the library. There was a big chalk circle on the ground. Romano was standing in the middle of it.

"Are you _sure _this is going to work, magic-bastard?"

"Of course it will!" England flipped through the book full of spells. "Just hold still and everyone be quiet!"

So the spell began. The circle was glowing, there was suddenly wind in the room, and England was still chanting. The magic was _just _about to take effect when-

BLAM. The door got kicked open. "HA! BOOM BABY!" cried the Prussian in the doorway. (*Gulps apple-juice*)

"P-PRUSSIA?"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"THE SPELL! OH SH-!" BOOM. There was suddenly a pink light and glitter everywhere.

Everyone was on the ground, except Prussia. Who was wearing the biggest grin since he stole Silesia. Why? 'Cause there were freakin' cuties everywhere.

"OH MEIN GOTT! YOU WERE RIGHT, SPAIN!"

Everyone glared at the Spaniard who was trying to explain. "It was early in the morning! I was sleepy! Lo siento!"

"'Lo siento' doesn't cover it! Look at what happened to Germany!"

Looking at Germany, you couldn't really tell the difference unless you had a good eye. Germany's hair grew about... a centimeter longer, his... her... their face was slightly rounder, and the top part of the military uniform looked ready to pop open.

Prussia glanced at his sibling and put a hand over his mouth. To cover the smirk that would get him bitch-slapped. "Kesesese~ Hi West, I mean, Sch-_west_-er."

"Bruder, don't you _dare _say that pun again."

"Kesesese~ Finally England's magic does something useful for once." And Prussia advanced onto the purple-eyed brunette. "Hellooo~ Who might you be?"

She grinned. "C'est moi, France~!"

Prussia's eyes went wide. Then he examined France. Then went back to staring.

"HOLY S_!"

"Quoi?"

"YOU'RE TOTALLY HOT!"

"Merci~."

In the middle of this conversation, everyone else checked the damage only Germany and... some blonde chick next to Prussia were effected.

"OMG, England cloned herself!" America said.

The blonde girl tilted her head to the side. "England? I'm not England, I'm Canada."

Prussia whipped around. "Birdie?" Prussia had dragged Canada along.

"Y-Yes?" Canada did not quite notice the change yet.

"Not bad. Anyone got a mirror?"

France held up her hand-mirror. Prussia raised an eyebrow. "What?"

Prussia held up the mirror for Canada. She stared for about three seconds. Then fainted with a quick 'Maple!'

"Wow, I think we broke her."

Prussia grinned. "... You know the best part about unconscious girls? They can't say no." Everyone gave Prussia a weird look. "What, like I'm the _only _one thinking it." (*Another gulp of apple-juice*)

**Me: Chappie... Too short...And crappy... Writers block... Need... suggestions... X_X By the way... get someone to fix the fourth wall door...**

**Japan: Why?**

**Me: In case we actually get character requests in this fic. Or at least cosplay requests for Japan-chan.**

**Japan: Actually, Nara-chan we've received plenty of cosplay requests already.**

**Me: Most requested. Now do the review begging thingy.**

**Japan: (Bows to the audience) Review, please.  
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	4. The cat and the flirts

_Me: Hi peoples~! Thanks for the requests and suggestions. (However, I still have certain...uh... lines (boundaries/limits/subjects-I-am-too-embarrassed-to-type-about)... I'm still too nervous to cross. So... no PMS chappie please. ^^; Plus, that would be **really **awkward to type about when someone could look over your shoulder (librarian/random dude/parents))._

_Me: Now... on the matter of Fourth Wall War II... (Creepy voice with evil grin) Patience my friends... If they keep breaking the door... or if they block the door... our hour of taking over shall come... Mwahahaha... (For those who don't know of the infamous Fourth Wall War, it was more or less me and my fangirls from 'It's a small world after all' utterly **annihilating **the Fourth Wall for the sake of kidnapping the chibi-characters. XD One of (and probably the only) the most epic things I've ever written.) And if there **is **a second Fourth Wall War, WE SHALL KIDNAP THE GENDER-BENDS! XD With the girls we'll do whatever we want... I would personally like to cosplay with Fem!Japan and bake some cake with Fem!Italy... (Grins) but MALE!HUNGARY and MALE!BELGIUM I would do **so **many things with... Y'all can keep Male!Belarus and Male!Ukraine._

_Belarus: Don't give people away. I want to be with brother._

_Me: Sister._

_Belarus: Whatever._

_Me: Fine. 'Request Fem!Russia and you get a free Male!Belarus.' Happy?_

_Belarus: Hm._

_Me: Now... we have requests already for cosplays... Damn these are a lot of requests... O_O U-Uh... let's start with character requests. (Reads letter/review) Romana, Canada, and Feli. And since I can't throw them now... (Pulls out a hammer)_

_Requested peoples: Eep! O_O (Runs to Berry)_

_Me: Anyways, here's the new chappie. Disclaimer puh-lease~!_

_Lithuania: (Pops out of nowhere) Bri does not own Hetalia. If she did, Latvia would be in trouble. (Sweatdrop)_

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><p>Russia sat up in bed. Brushing the stray hairs out of her face. She noticed something.<p>

Something is very wrong here, da?

She got out of bed, stepping on Japan as she did, and got out of the room. Japan watched with a confused look on her face.

"Russia-san?"

Russia went downstairs and strained her ears. She didn't even bother with the lights. Cause one thing was certain even without the lights. There was something at the door... scratching at it.

Russia clutched her pipe-turned-shovel and approached the door. Russia wasn't scared. No, she was only going to beat the crap out of whoever _dared _interrupt her nice sleep with her warm blankets. So the door was flung open.

... Just that little brown cat the follows Italy.

Russia bent down to the cat's level and gave that childish smile. "You should leave, da? There are dangerous things around here at ni-" GLOMP.

Meanwhile...

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish, aru. Have any fives?"

"Aw, cra-"

"AAH!"

America and China's Go Fish game was interrupted by a scream. A little girl's scream.

Someone's in trouble? This looks like a job for... AMERICA IN HIS SPIDER-MAN PJ's!

America ran out of the room, swinging on invisible webs as he went. China just shook his head with a quiet 'Aiyah...'

When China reached the bottom of the stairs, he only saw America staring straight ahead of him with a look that said 'WTFH, man?'

"What is it, Ameri... Oh... Oh wow, aru... Just... What the hell, aru?"

In the living room was a strange sight. Fem!Russia was on the floor. Crying and trembling like Latvia. The one hugging the life out of her was a young man with light hair and a hair sticking up. He had a glare on his face that very clearly said, and could only be interpreted as, 'Go f_ yourself because I have the greatest person on Earth to please.' And behind the man was a... more or less a copy of the actual Russia. Only crying.

And China couldn't decide which sight was weirder.

"Um... Russia..." America finally managed to say. "Uh... who's...?"

"Belarus!" the Russia-look-a-like sobbed. "Please! Stop scaring Russia! You're going to wake everyone up!"

The young man glared at him. "Be quiet, Ukraine." He turned back to his terrified victim on the ground and smiled. A very creepy smile that scared the crap out of Russia. "Now then.** Marry me Marry me. Marry me Marry me-"**

"GO HOME!"

America held back a laugh. If that was all he needed, he would sent Belarus on Russia decades ago. "B-Belarus? Ukraine?"

Ukraine looked at America. "Hi America! I'm so sorry about this! It's just that we woke up like this in the morning, then Belarus sensed Russia was nearby, and-"

"Nearby? This is _England._ Wait... _this _morning?"

"Uh-huh."

"... ENGLAND!"

Everyone was coming downstairs. And they noticed Ukraine and Belarus. And they started shouting at England.

"TWO OF THE VERY FEW FEMALE NATIONS, ENGLAND! TWO OF THEM!"

"UKRAINE'S TRACTS OF LAND!"

"WAY TO GO ENGLAND!"

"UKRAINE'S LAND!"

"WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THIS WHEN WE'RE _GIRLS, _ENGLAND? BELARUS CAN RAPE RUSSIA NOW!"

"THE GODDAMN LAND, ENGLAND!"

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! I UNDERSTAND!" England yelled. "Give them their own room!"

"Why can't I sleep with brother?" Belarus asked.

"Sister." Ukraine corrected.

"Whatever."

"Because Russia already has a roommate."

**_"WHO?"_**

Everyone glanced at the girl in the schoolgirl outfit, armband, and orange ribbons. And suddenly Japan was running around the room, running away from Belarus.

Tomorrow morning...

"Dude, we're gonna run out of money if we keep buying new clothes for you guys."

They were at the mall. Shopping. Again. For Germany and... uh... that girl who hangs out with Prussia...

Let's see... 8 girls... like, 5 guys... the flirts must think at least 4 chicks are available.

Which was why a group of boys walked over, popped up in front of China and said "Hey there~"

China started blushing (in embarrassment), America started laughing his ass off, and Russia started 'kol kol kol'-ing.

"Uh... hi, aru."

While the leader started flirting with China, his right hand guy went to Russia, and the other-random-guy-that-nobody-ever-notices-in-a-trio went to England.

"So..." said the guy who went to Russia. "You single?"

Belarus popped up from behind Russia and hissed **_"Back off, bitch. He's mineee."_**

The dude backed off. England was death-glaring at his random flirt guy.

"So~, what's your name?"

"Yao Wang."

"That's a weird name."

"That's because I'm a guy, aru."

The guy's eyes widened. Then he switched to England. "So~, what's _your _nam-" SMACK.

"WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE?"

**Me: Two most requested things: Male!Belarus and guys flirting with them. (Sorry if the flirting scene sucks but I got no experience with be flirted with...)  
><strong>

**Russia: T_T Why...? Why did you put her in here?  
><strong>

**Me: Requested, man.**

**America: (Grins) Nice, Russia. Way to scream like a girl.  
><strong>

**Russia: Be quiet, comrade. ^J^**

**Me: Guys.**

**Both: What?**

**Me: The disclaimer.**

**America: Review~! ,:3D**


	5. The Bad Touch Trio's plan and scones

_Me: Hi peoples~! My school is ending sometime in a week so... (Runs around with a banner that says 'F_ YEAH') FREEEEEEEDOOOOOOOOM DEEEEEEEEEESUUUUUU YOOOOOOOOO! XD_

_England: That is so immature._

_America: (Joins Bri) WOOOOOHOOOOOOO! XD_

_England: (facepalm)_

_Me: And that means I'll go out of state for the summer. Which means I'll be able to gender-bend America without my house disappearing while I'm in it. (People of the Big Apple beware... Bri-chan is coming for the summer)_

_Japan: (holds up request letters) Nara-chan._

_Me: Right. (Reads letters) Hong Kong, Korea, Hungary, Nordics, Latvia... get over here. (Tosses magical gender-bender powder on them) _

_I. Will. Put. Everyone. In. The Story. Just. Later. (Did anyone notice that in the other fic I added characters/had Iggy do something every 3-5 chappies? That was so I could keep track of who was actually in there without writing out a list that I would probably lose.) (*Looks at people I called over*) Now get in the request-catapult._

_Hong Kong: Catapult?_

_Me: (Points at catapult that contains Japan, Romano, Italy, Ukraine, Belarus, and Canada) Yeah, I'm getting a lot of requests this fic, so I need a catapult to toss them all._

_Romano: Can't we just f_ing **walk **over to who requested us? I mean, the one who requested me has pasta and tomatoes!_

_Me: Roma-chan~, you should know I like being as over-the-top as possible. :3 FIRE! (Launches catapult)_

_Italy, Denmark, and Hungary: WHEE! :D_

_Everyone else: AAH! D:_

_England: You have a question, Bri. (Hands over letter)_

_Me: Oh. Thanks Iggy. (Reads letter) From LunethPerson: "By the way, if when they were all chibis, their citizens turned chibi. What's happening now?" ... Are all my readers such excellent wielders of Fridge Logic? o_o Uh... if their nation is gender-bent, then all the guys of that nationality are girls now. The girls are fine (except in Belarus and Ukraine). Which means all the boys that were going through puberty are probably going 'WTF?' right now. And this includes the nation's provinces and such. So Osaka-kun looks like Osaka from Azumanga Daioh._

_England: ...You sadist._

_Me: I know. btw, if we win the Fourth Wall War II, you may join me in the cosplay and cake-baking party.  
><em>

_England: (points at Bri) She does not own Hetalia. Otherwise, people's headcanon would come to life._

* * *

><p>France grinned at Spain, who grinned at Prussia, who grinned back at France.<p>

This plan was f_ing genius.

And now was the perfect time to execute it. It was shower time.

With ninja-skills that would make Japan proud, the Bad Touch Trio sneaked into all the bathrooms (there were many bathrooms in Iggy's house) and switched everyone's clothes. Then they went to everyone's closets and hid the clothes that were in there. And they met up back downstairs when they were done.

"Drei."

"Dos."

"Un."

"WHAT THE HELL?" sounded throughout the house.

Three-way Hi-five.

"FRANCE! FRANCE DID THIS! WHERE THE F_ IS SHE?"

France sighed. "Why must Angleterre instantly assume it was moi?"

"Well it _was _your idea, mi amiga..."

"Je sais, but still!"

England stomped downstairs and glared at the 3 pervs on the couch. All three were grinning at her. More specifically at her French maid's dress.

Prussia whistled. "Nice~."

"You look so cute, Angleter-" SMACK.

"Give. Me. Back. My. Bloody. Clothes."

"Come on, Inglaterra." Spain said. "At least wait until we see the others."

"Others?"

"SPAIN, YOU F_ING PERVERT!" Romano stormed downstairs and started strangling Spain at the blink of an eye. But that didn't stop the fact that everyone could see the frilly red flamenco dress.

"Pfft." Prussia covered the smirk he was wearing.

"Why the f_ are you laughing?" Romano and England hissed.

"Because this is the funniest thing I've ever seen." Then Germany came downstairs in a pink dress and a tiara. "Funniest until I saw that."

"Be quiet, Bruder."

"Relax, Sch_west_er. I could have made you dress up like Lena." (Europeans, take a gulp of your drink.)

"VEEE~!" THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. "GERMANYYYY!"

Germany turned around to catch the Italian falling downstairs. And Italy managed to knock Germany to the floor.

The Italian in the maid's dress smiled. "Buongiorno, Principessa~." (Reference to an Italian movie (_La vita e bella/ Life is Beautiful_) I saw in History class so... *takes a gulp*)

"Italy..."

"Ve~?"

"You can get off now."

"Oh. Right."

Click. Click. Click. France's mental-camera was going crazy.

More and more nations came down in their outfits. Russia was in a wedding dress, with Male!Belarus in a tux clinging to her arm. Apparently Ukraine was the best man. Canada was in a Nurse's outfit ("Hey, Birdie. Can we play Doctor?"). America somehow got a "sexy waiter" outfit. And China was in a Chinese dress.

"WHY THE HELL DO _I _GET A DRESS, ARU?" China yelled at the Bad Touch Trio.

China suddenly heard giggling behind him. China turned around to see Japan, who was in a frilly black (short) Gothic-Lolita dress with fishnets, covering her barely noticeable laugh behind her hand. Everyone could see the anime angry mark on China's head.

"Gomen, China-san. But you look like a girl."

China examined Japan's outfit. "Where is you shame, aru?"

Japan held up a blonde wig with pigtails on it. "In here." She put on the wig and gave a big cheery smile. "Hiii~! It's Misa-Misa-chan here~! :D"

China facepalmed and said something along the lines of 'No wonder I banned that manga, aru. Makes Japan go crazy, aru.'

Then England felt France's gaze on her. She turned around to be face-to-face with a purple-eyed Cheshire cat grin.

"What do you want, Frog?"

"That's 'My Mistress' to you. I want you to... make lunch."

Everyone looked at France like she was crazy. Well, considering what she just asked, she probably was.

"...What."

"I want to see if being more feminine means you can actually cook now. Besides," the grin got wider, "you're in a _French _maid's dress. Get to it."

About one batch of scones later...

Everyone looked at the scones on their plates. Then glared at France. Then stared wide-eyed at the fresh scones before them.

"Well, eat up everyone," said the flour-covered maid.

Everyone picked up their scone, exchanged looks, and took a bite.

Scones were dropped. Everyone exchanged wide eyed looks while England waited for their critique. They all had the same thing running through their minds.

Holy s_. These are _amazing._

"Are they... bad?" England asked.

"..." Pride or Iggy. Pride or Iggy. Pride or Iggy.

"Well?"

"Horrible."

"Bleh."

"Worst thing I've ever tasted."

SPLAT! England threw a scone at France and left.

"Oh my god."

"Freakin' awesome."

"I will _never _diss a scone again!"

"..."

"This _never _happened. Agreed?"

"Agreed."

**Me: (*checks off three things on the request checklist*) Chibi Russia-Kun and phatcaliforniadreamin, behold what your requests caused! XD**

**Estonia: Hey, Bri.**

**Me: Yes, Epicstonia?**

**Estonia: You got 80 reviews for the first _4 _chapters of this. That's (about) 20 reviews per chapter. You know what this means?**

**Me: What...? (*Sucks at math*)**

**Estonia: You should get more reviews than the prequel to this by chapter 21.**

**Me: ... Y'all heard the man! Review, peoples, review! :D  
><strong>


	6. Amazons, Bros, and out of place chappie

_Me: Hi peoples~! (waves like crazy) XD_

_England: She's hyper because we passed the 100 review milestone, school ended, and she finally named one of her Pokemon 'China'. (A Mienfoo in case you're wondering.)  
><em>

_America: (Hi-fives Bri)_

_England: JUST ANSWER THE REVIEW REQUESTS/QUESTIONS!_

_Me: Alright, alright... (Reads the review letter from Shiva491) O_O ... Did I really make **that **many mistakes while typing...? (Snaps fingers and magically makes them disappear) How shameful... I don't look over what I type usually cuz I type how I talk. Thanks for pointing out the errors.  
><em>

_England: (holding back laughter)_

_Me: Oh. And the 'Pride or Iggy' part-_

_England: Wait... what?_

_America: Nothing, England. ^^; (Pushes England out of the room) Yeah... every nation sorta promised themselves 'I will never compliment England's cooking in front of him' and it would be really really embarrassing if we actually **did **compliment England's cooking after teasing it for so long._

_Me: (Reads character requests) ... (Eye twitch) Ok, you're getting 4 more gender-bents next chappie. (Snaps fingers) There. It has been done. But you will get Fem!America later. When I am **out **of his vital regions. Now everyone get in the catapult. -_- Liet, Po-nii, you too.  
><em>

_Sealand: Even me, desu yo?_

_Me: Ok, everyone but Sea-kun get in the catapult._

_Romano: Again, I could just WALK over there._

_Me: Nah. (Launches nations) Sea-kun, since you're here, do the disclaimer._

_Sealand: Bri does not own Hetalia, desu yo! If she did, I would get a bigger part in this story, desu yo! D:_

_Note: I am fulfilling a request given to me during 'It's a small world after all' so this will seem incredible out of place.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"How is the cure coming along, England?" America asked.<p>

"Um... I'm working on it..." England said as she held her cellphone. "I'm asking my brothers if they could help. But..."

"But what?"

"I told them the situation and..." England facepalmed and put her cellphone on speaker.

America heard the sound of four grown men laughing their asses off.

"Wales is on the floor laughing, Scotland sounds like he's in tears, Northern Ireland is the one trying to breathe, and Ireland's the loudest," England sighed.

"Does that mean they'll help?"

"Um..."

It got quiet on the other end of the phone. "We'll help on one condition," one of England's brothers managed to say.

"What is it?" England moaned.

"Send us some pictures of you first, _sis_." And the laughing started up again. "Send some to Portugal too!"

"WANKERS!" England hung up and threw the defenseless phone against the wall. America flinched as 'God Save the Queen' got cut off with a SMASH!

"That poor phone."

"Don't worry, Scotland's paying for it."

"... You and your brothers are so _nice _to each other."

"That's why we never have family reunions. Now, I'm going to try this spell again. Hopefully it will fix this mess."

Later...

Germany pushed aside another heavy tree branch as the rest of the nations glared at England.

"The _Amazon_, England."

"Quiet."

"Of _all _the places your spell could of accidentally transported us. Hollywood again, Paris, _Vegas_ even! But _nooo_. You had to send us to the goddamn Amazon."

"I said I was sorry!"

"Sorry does not heal the blisters, Angleterre!" France whined.

"It's your own bloody fault for wearing heels!"

England tried fixing the spell. And somehow they ended up in the Amazon. Isn't magic wonderful?

"Do we all least have supplies for a rain forest?"

America faced the audience. "Remember kids: If you are ever alone in the wilderness; bring something to defend yourself with, something to signal help, and a sense of adventure."

England looked at him. "Who are you _talking _to?"

"The people staring at their screens right now."

England stared at the audience. "If you happen to be in Brazil, could you send provisions?"

"We don't need them to send provisions, England!" America laughed.

"Why's that, America?" Canada asked.

America reached into his bomber jacket and pulled out a sash full of badges. Canada facepalmed.

"That is _not _a-"

"-sash full of Boy Scout Badges!" America cheered. "Leave it to me! We'll get out of here in no time!"

The next morning...

The nations trembled on the ground with their stick/weapons as they glared at England. "Never. Again."

"Ve~... That night was bad..." Italy sighed.

"Come on, it wasn't _that _bad." America said.

"We got attacked by pumas, monkeys, a dog, and a f_ing bunny!" Romano shouted. "TRUST ME, IT WAS BAD!" Romano whipped out a cellphone. "Screw this. I'm calling for help."

Spain sweatdropped as Romano pushed a number on speed-dial. "Squalo! Get your ass over here and save me! I'm in the Amazon! ... What do you mean 'Who the hell is this'? IT'S F_ING LOVINO! ... I sound like a f_ing girl because of a British bastard you need to kick the ass of later... Xanxus why the f_ are you on the phone? What do mean you won't come over here? ... WHAT THE F_ DO YOU MEAN IT'S NOT IN YOUR JOB DESCRIPTION? WHAT ABOUT F_ING VARIA QUALITY? BASTARD, DON'T MAKE ME CALL REBORN! I HAVE HIM ON F_ING SPEED-DIAL, DAMMIT!"

There was a crunching sound on the other end of the line. Romano looked around at her fellow nations. "... They hung up on me..."

"Too bad." England deadpanned. Then she whispered into her own phone. "Yes, yes, the Italian who swears a lot. By tomorrow. Yes, yes, 'All hail Britannia'. Goodbye."

And Japan facepalmed.

They all heard rustling behind them. Most of the nations drew their sticks like swords. The other three (America, Canada, and Germany) just tightened their grip on their stick.

They were expecting another random snake. Not a black and white ball flying towards China at 90 miles per hour.

"WHAT THE FU-" BLAM. China fell to the floor with a bright red mark on his face.

"Eu sinto muito!" said the girl who came out of the bushes. "I didn't think anyone would be in here- Wait, what are _you _guys doing in here?"

"Hi Brazil," America said. "Why are _you _playing soccer in the Amazon?"

"Well the ball _was _in Rio." Brazil looked at the other nations behind America. "Is that...?"

"Yup."

Brazil grinned, trying not to laugh for all of two seconds. Then she broke and burst out laughing.

"Haha... yes, being turned into girls is very amusing and all but-"

Brazil pulled out her cell phone. "I just _have _to show Portugal-" CRASH.

Brazil looked from the soccer ball that smashed her phone, to England, who still had a leg in the air.

"Just show us to the nearest airport."

Later...

England slammed the door shut and immediately went to rest on the couch.

"At least we only teleported and the spell didn't go wro-" England got cut off by shouting coming from Northern Europe and Central Europe. "...Bloody hell..."

**Me: Ok... 'gender-bends stuck in the Amazon'... check. (*Checks off request list*)**

**England: Well that was... (*cough*)stupid(*cough*) very creative.**

**Me: You're just mad cuz I finally managed to break the fourth wall.**

**England: In a _completely _subtle way.**

**Me: Don't worry. There won't be a fourth wall war unless we have: a crap-ton of requests;**

**England: (*Reads reviews*) I think we have that.**

**Me: breaking the fourth wall;**

**England: (*Reads chapter*) We have that too. O_O"**

**Me: And of course, someone blocking the fangirls from getting their requests by blocking it.**

**England: (*Looks at fourth wall*) O_O Uh...**

**Me: (*Looks at fourth wall*) HOLY CRAP, SOMEONE BLOCKED THE FOURTH WALL DOOR WITH BRICKS! IGGY TEAR THEM DOWN!**

**England: ... No.**

**Me: What.**

**England: They want me to cook for them and I don't have that much flour.**

**Me: Suits yourself... (*Looks at audience*) IT HAS BEGUN! FWW II HAS BEGUN! REVIEW!**


	7. Down goes the door

_England: Hello. Welcome to another chapter of-_

_America: DUCK! (Tackles England before candy bombs get fired over the Fourth Wall)_

_England: (*Picks up a candy*) ARE THESE BLOODY MINTS? =_=_

_America: No, there's a lollipop in here somewhere._

_England: (Sticks head over the Fourth Wall) IS THAT ALL YOU GOT? (Jumps back down to avoid bowling ball)_

_America: No, they have a bowling-ball-bazooka._

_England: What **else **do they have?_

_Japan: (Looks through binoculars) Berry-san brought back her laser-cannon-ax. They have light-sabers... though the crossbows for them are new. A rocket-launcher, a katana, rubber-band balls, dynamite, a lead-pipe, Pokemon, several hundred new recruits, and a squadron of yaoi-fanboys._

_Germany: All this because you didn't want to make them scones. -_-_

_England: I don't have that much flour!_

_China: Then buy some, aru!_

_England: Do you know how many people wanted my scones? I don't want to go bankrupt like America!_

_America: HEY!_

_Russia: You should've just asked your neighbors for flour, da?_

_England: (Points at France) Look who I have for a neighbor._

_(Paper airplane flies in and lands in front of England)_

_England: (Picks up paper) 'Scotland's scones taste better'... (Crushes paper) THEY'RE GOING DOWN! THIS IS NOT A REQUEST FOR SCONES ANYMORE! THIS! IS! WAR! DX (Gets hit in the face with vodka)_

_America: Aw crap... Who requested that England does the disclaimer DRUNK? (Right after someone added **vodka **to the list of weapons...)_

_England: (Wasted) Bri *hic* does not own Heta-*hic*-lia. If she did then my sexy alternate-time-line self from Code Geass would come in here and kick Romano's ass like I asked him to last chapter! *hic*  
><em>

_America: LOOK OUT! THEY HAVE A MISSILE LAUNCHER! O_O_

_England: What the fu-?  
><em>

_BOOM._

* * *

><p>Everyone heard angry shouts from Northern Europe and very surprised shouts from Central Europe. They were pretty loud. But it was the particular <em>voices <em>coming from Central Europe that had Prussia glaring at England.

"You did _not _just-"

"-I hope not." England sighed.

"Because that would be _so _not awesome!"

The Prussian ran to the door to lock it. But it got kicked down the moment he reached it and got squashed underneath. Why the hell did England have to have one of those thick heavy-as-hell doors? Then whoever kicked the door down decided to stand on it.

It was a spiky-haired blonde man who's face was flushed. In one arm was a long-haired blonde girl in a sailor suit (with mini-skirt), and in the other was a girl in a brown jacket, matching mini-skirt, who looked similar to the blonde girl (only with white hair and violet eyes).

The blonde girl looked around at the nations staring at her, then glared up at her kidnapper. "Idiot! Put me and Iceland _down!_"

Denmark smiled to the other nations. "You won't belieeeve what just *hic* 'appened! I was drinking with Norge and Ice when *hic* two _babes _show up outta *hic* nowhere!" He laughed then started drunkenly singing. "It's raining women~! Hallelujah! It's raining women~! Wo-men~!"

Norway glared at England. "Did you mess with magic again?"

"...Maybe..." was the sheepish response.

Denmark looked over at Spain and Romano. "Ha! My babes are hotter than your babe!"

Romano was just about to facepalm, when Spain wrapped an arm around her and smiled. "I don't think so, amigo, since mi tomate is the hottest thing alive."

Denmark put Iceland down and held up Norway. "Do you _see _this body?"

Spain took Romano's face between his hands. "Do you see this _face_? This is the face of an _angel_!"

"Let go of me, bastard! I am not a f_ing trophy!"

Norway looked at Iceland. "You have to call me Onee-chan."

"Are you kidding me?"

Prussia finally managed to crawl out from under England's door. He scrambled to his feet, shoved Denmark off the door, and attempted to reattach the stupid door to the door-frame.

"What are you panicking about Bruder?" She raised an eyebrow as Prussia tried boarding up the door.

"I'm trying not to let _her_... him... whatever... in!"

"Who?"

Just on cue, someone else kicked the door down. Prussia managed to awesomely get away this time.

This time it was only two people. One had shoulder-length blonde hair, green eyes, and a pink top. The other person was clearly a guy. Green eyes, brown hair tied into a short ponytail, and he was wearing a tank-top. And in his hand was a frying pan.

Prussia groaned. It was Poland and Mangary. Not Hungary, _Man_gary.

_"You see why I was trying to block the door now, West?"_ Prussia snapped at his sister.

Hungary casually strolled into the house, swinging an arm to pwn Prussia without stopping his walk. He got up to England and asked "Didn't you sign a contract that said 'no spells'?"

"It said no _aging _spells." England corrected.

"But, like, look what you totally did to me and Hungary!" Poland said.

Several people raised their eyebrows. "Hungary _and _you?"

"Yeah! Can't you, like, see I'm a girl now?" Poland gestured to herself as emphasis.

"Ve~! I can see it!" Italy said. "You make a pretty girl, Poland!"

The other nations stared hard at Poland... and saw no difference whatsoever.

"She's like you, China." America whispered.

"Quiet, aru."

"You, like, totes, like, look the, like, same," Prussia said mockingly.

"Hey! I, like, _totally _don't talk like that!" Poland snapped.

"Kesese~ Of course you d-" BLAM! Pwned by Hungary.

"Don't make fun of my BFF!"

Japan came downstairs in Miku Hatsune cosplay. "Oh. I didn't know we had guests, England-san."

Hungary gasped and ran over to Japan. "Japan! You were cosplaying without me?"

Japan slipped off her wig and hid it behind her back. "No..."

"I can't believe you would cosplay without me!" Hungary crossed his arms and pouted.

"Hungary-chan... kun... I have a way to make it up to you." Japan gave a small smile.

"What?"

"You are a man now, correct?"

Hungary looked down for a second, then back at Japan. "Yeah. And?"

"Austria-san is still a man too, right?"

Something clicked in the Hungarian's head and he grinned. The widest grin the nation has had since the Chibi Spell Incident. He pulled out a camera and ran towards the door.

"S_! Someone stop Hungary before she rapes Austria!"

"He."

"Whatever! Just grab Hungary!"

"Crap! Not the frying pan! Oh fu-" BLAM.

**Prussia: -_- Why...? Just. Why the hell did you have to put them in there?**

**Me: Hey, it was supposed to be only Hungary and half the Nordics. But everyone assumed Po-nii was coming in because I said 'Central Europe'.**

**Austria: HEEEEEEEEEELP!**

**Hungary: Hold still, Mr. Austria!**

**Austria: Hungary! We can't!**

**Hungary: Why not? DX**

**Austria: Um... because... this fic is only rated T.**

**Me and Prussia: Smooth. -.-**

**Me: Hungary, take off your shirt for the audience.**

**Mangary: (removes shirt) Review. ^_^**

**Me: btw, the Portugal running gag last chapter was... uh... I dunno. I thought 'Since Brazil is gonna be in this chappie, and Portugal is one of Iggy's BFFLs why not mention Portugal?'... I dunno, I just threw it in.  
><strong>


	8. Walmart: The revenge of the madness

_America: Status report, Japan._

_Japan: (Looks through binoculars) It appears we're safe for now. They're having a coffee break. But... they're putting to much sugar in their coffee._

_America: So they can be hyper when the break is over._

_England: Here's the list of demands/requests. (Reads paper) Their biggest demands are: Mangary, Mangary shirtless, and Mangary and Austria to... O_O Moving on... _

_Hungary: I have no objection. At all._

_England: Sweden... Netherlands to either turn into a girl or have Lolita girls._

_Netherlands: Can I have the second choice?_

_England: Lithuania... Scotland's scones... I going to ignore that -_-... My brothers be turned into girls... I'm going to ignore that too =_=... Korea..._

_Japan: U-Uh... Their coffee break is over. (Ducks from the flying scones, rotten bananas, and burgers)_

_England: Burgers. Scones. And bananas. Are they **really **firing burgers, scones, **and rotten bananas **at us?_

_America: Wait, BURGERS? WOOT! This is the best war EVER! :D (Catches burgers)_

_England: (Looks over the Fourth Wall) Is that a My Little Pony? =.=_

_Poland: WHERE? :D_

_England: And they seem to have Pokemon for some reason. A Gallade, a Cyndaquil, and a mob of flying types are attacking the fourth wall.  
><em>

_America: Well that's not so bad._

_England: And Bri brought her Pokemon from her Pearl Version. (Pearl Version she's had since she was 12)  
><em>

_America: ... That's not good. Let's see... Bazookas, missile launchers, Pokemon, TNT, food, grenades, machetes, knives, canons, magic wands, magic books, grenades, katanas, lasers, axes, the Ten-Year-Bazooka, rabid raccoons, rabid squirrels, grenades... I think we still have a chance! :D_

_England: (Looks up) Uh... America... O_O  
><em>

_America: (Looks up) IS THAT THE FREAKIN' DEATH STAR? WHO THE HELL GAVE BHEL-ELRYSS AND NONAMESWEREAVAILABLE THE KEYS TO THE DEATH STAR?_

_Latvia: O_O Uh... (Scoots away from America)_

_Japan: Remember, Nara-san does not own Hetalia. If she did-_

_America: LOOK OUT! (Tackles Japan and saves him from a gas bomb)_

_Prussia: (Gets pwned) GAAAAH! DX  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Bad news, ladies." America was looking through the fridge. "We're out of food."<p>

"Great." England sighed. "Where are we going to buy it?"

"Um..." Ukraine said. "How about Walmart?"

"Sister... Brother..." Russia said. "Ukraine, we are ban from Walmart, da."

Poland laughed. "Like, how you get _ban_? From a _Walmart?_"

"Play Mario Kart." America said.

"Melt the frozen food section." Romano said.

"Blow up their Wii system with my awesome-ness_._" Prussia said with a grin.

"Nice." Denmark high-fived Prussia.

"Wait. You played Mario Kart _without me_?" Poland let out a gasp. "But I, like, totally own the game when I use Peach!"

"I'm sure they'll let us back in!" America cheered. "I mean, that was back in the Chibi Incident. Forgive and forget, right?"

Later...

"WHY THE HELL DOESN'T ANYONE KNOW HOW TO DRIVE IN A F_ING STRAIGHT LINE IN THIS PLACE?"

"Hey!" America said. "Those are my citizens!"

"... Then tell your people to GET THE HELL OUT OF MY WAY!"

They were in the Walmart parking lot, looking for space. Denmark was driving, demonstrating what 'road rage' is.

"I'm going to find a parking spot. You guys get started with the shopping."

When they entered the Walmart, the first thing they saw was a LOT of posters. Of their chibi selves. Everywhere.

"Are these our _wanted _posters?" England ripped France's poster down.

America sweatdropped. "It's your chibi picture and they don't know you're girls. You'll be fine, Iggy."

"WAIT A SECOND! LET ME SEE THAT!" France said as she snatched her poster.

Let's just saw that France's particular poster was... hand-drawn. And that the idiot who was drawing it had a broken hand.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" France screamed. "WHY IS ONLY THE PICTURE OF MOI UGLY AS HELL? JUST WHICH PART OF THIS PICTURE LOOKS LIKE ME? WHERE THE F_ AM I IN THIS?"

"I say it looks exactly like you." England commented.

France started yelling at England in French which got censored by a crash sound outside. And everyone split up.

In the appliance aisle...

Denmark was staring boredly at a microwave until his drinking buddy, Prussia, came over.

"Look what I found!" Prussia held up a yellow box full of marshmallows. "Marshmallow Gilbirds!"

Denmark looked from the Peeps, to the microwave he was staring at, and back. "What happens when you put one of these in a microwave?"

"Let's find out! But let's hot-wire this thing first to make it awesomer!"

Meanwhile in the camping section...

"Canada! We're going camping!"

"...In a Walmart?"

"Yeah! In the camping section! I brought marshmallows, some sticks, some Klondike bars..."

Five seconds later, Canada and America were in a tent. Each had backpacks (Canada's had his flag on it) full of marshmallows and Klondike bars. Canada was facepalming the whole time.

"Uh... whoever is in there has to get out before I call the manager," said the accented voice outside the tent.

American and Canada stuck their heads out to see their neighbor/trading-buddy giving them a confused look.

"Hey! Mex!" America said.

"... I should've expected it to be you."

"What are you doing here, eh?" Canada asked.

Mexico looked at Canada with a raised eyebrow. "Canada?"

"Yes..."

"So England screwed up again, huh?"

"Yup," the two blondes responded.

"Wait, what are you doing here, Mexico?" Canada asked.

"I _was _in the electronics section until Espana and... I think, Romano started flirting."

"I think he meant in one of my Walmarts, Mex." America said.

"Part-time job."

"Without a green-"

"If you say 'Without a green-card?', I will tell _everyone _about the Tequila Incident."

America went pale as a ghost and his eyes went wide. "You wouldn't dare."

"What incident?" Canada asked.

Mexico smiled. "America and all the Hispanic nations had a meeting in Cancun, Mexico in the _lovely _spring break of 2010-"

America smacked a hand over Mexico's mouth. "If you don't mention the Tequila Incident, I won't mention the green-card joke, okay?"

Mexico shrugged. "Alright." A voice on his walkie-talkie started yelling something about Japanese girl complaining about the lack of anime and needing backup. "I gotta go."

Right after Mexico left, Canada noticed something.

"Um... America... your backpack."

America saw his _empty _backpack beside him. There was a sticky note on it that said 'Yes, I got a part-time job in your country, waiting for you to destroy Walmart again, just for a Klondike bar. Thanks for the snack. Love, Mexico.' Insert doodle of Mexico smirking here.

"..."

"America?"

_**"DAMN YOU, MEXICOOOOO!"**_ That day, the camping section got flipped.

Meanwhile in the toy section...

"Oh Gott, why did Italy drag me here again?"

Germany was in the middle of a paintball fight between Hungary, Belarus, Russia, and China. Germany was acting as a meat-shield for Poland and Italy, who were playing with Barbies.

"Aw! You got blue paint all over my new shirt!" Hungary took off his shirt.

This was immediately followed by squealing and a random girl running by. Said girl stole Hungary's shirt. "MINEZ! :D"

Everyone just stared blankly at each other. "What the hell?"

There was a buzzing sound on the overhead. Everyone looked up at it when America's voice came on.

"ATTENTION, WALMART SHOPPERS! GO TO THE ELECTRONICS SECTION FOR AN EPIC GUITAR HERO BATTLE THAT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND! GET READY TO ROCK-" The sound of another man bursting into the room and yelling at America cut off the message.

"Ve~! Let's go see it, Germany~!" the cheery brunette said.

"Fine, but put the Barbie away."

"Okay~!" Italy tossed aside the Barbie and went off with Germany. Not noticing that the Barbie broke the cage that was full of balls.

Now to the electronic section...

Every stereo in the electronics section was connected to a 10-foot-plasma-TV. Guitar Hero was starting, and two nations were on a platform.

"You're going down, git." England said.

"I'll show you who's the country of rock, England." America replied.

England went first. He picked an Aerosmith song on expert. And totally _owned _it. Practically half the people there started head-banging.

"Good. But not good enough." America said with a smirk. He picked 'Beat it' on expert.

When the guitar solo came on, fireworks came out of the stage. The stereos, the Playstation, and America's plastic guitar started smoking from pure awesome-ness. Then everything exploded, and America literally blew the roof off the place. The TV flashed 'High Score: We need bigger numbers this thing. -.-'

"Yeah! I win!"

"YOU GUYS AGAIN?"

Everyone turned around to see the pissed off, red-faced manager of Walmart. America smiled and waved from the middle of the burned wreckage.

"Hi! Sorry 'bout the mess-"

"OUT!"

The nations were chased out by the broom-wielding manager. Somewhere in the appliance section, another explosion happened.

"WHERE DID DENMARK PARK THE CAR?"

"That idiot doesn't park, he crashes. See the car sticking out of the dentist's office?"

"THAT BLOODY IDIOT! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

"SPEAKING OF DENMARK, WHERE THE HELL IS HE?"

"HE WAS WITH PRUSSIA!"

That was when a giant yellow Peep burst out of Walmart. With Prussia and Denmark on its back.

"WOOHOO!" the two awesome idiots shouted.

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"WHY DOES THIS _ALWAYS _HAPPEN WHEN WE GO TO WALMART?"

**Me: I'm SO sorry this took so long! Writer's block, and New York, 'Hetalian Games', and Italian classes, and... WAAAH! I have no excuse! I'm sorry, my peoples! DX**

**Italy: Ve~, it's alright. At least you got it up.**

**Me: Sorry, for the crappy chappie. Please request and please review. btw, poll to see who we kidnap after FWWII is up.  
><strong>


	9. Fail girl's night

_Me: Hi peoples! Thanks for the support and-_

_Nezumi (random OC): Bri-san, where should the Pokemon line up?_

_Me: Tell them my lvl 100 starters are the Poke-generals. Don't worry, they're the Pokemon with the incredibly lame nicknames. And the Digimon line up behind them. Now what was I saying? Oh yeah. Today's 'Good-idea Reviewer' is Kitty's Muse. And-_

_Nezumi: They're asking where the projectiles go, Bri-san._

_Me: Projectile weapons go to the left, under the Death Star. Weapons you actually need in your hand, go beside the Pokemon that aren't electric type (so y'all don't get shocked). By now we have WAY too many weapons to list. By the way, thanks to me being out of America's vital regions, and the full versions of Finland and Sweden's Hatafuttes finally coming out... you're getting your requests. (*evil smirk*)_

_Nezumi: Netherlands-san is here to see you.  
><em>

_Me: Wait, what?_

_Netherlands: I'm on your side. I want Lolita!Japan._

_Me: Great! ^_^ (Gets handed a review-letter) ... Yes, you guys can draw fan-art. Please, tell me when you're done. And you can imagine whatever you want for the 'Tequila Incident', cuz I won't reveal it 'til a lot later. (Reads another review-letter) ... Fine! I will research Scotland, Ireland, Wales, and North Ireland! -_- (Reads another review-letter) I know there's a list of ways to get kicked out of Walmart. Someone requested I write a fic with the nations doing the '333 ways to get kicked out of Walmart' but I couldn't finish because I couldn't decide who should do what. Also, I don't quite remember how many reviews 'It's a small world' had when it got recommended on Tv Tropes... probably around 200 or 300..._

_Netherlands: Bri doesn't own Hetalia. Nor does she encourage drug-use.  
><em>

_Me: ARE WE DONE DIGGING THE TUNNEL UNDER THE FOURTH WALL YET?_

_Random fangirl: No! It's taking too long!_

_Me: What are we digging with? Plastic spoons?_

_Random fangirl: ...Maybe..._

_Me: ... -_- Ok, which one of you brought the drill and forgot to charge it first?_

* * *

><p>"A sleepover?"<p>

"Hai. I've seen it in movies and I believe we should take advantage of this situation by having one."

The nations were in the living room and Japan suggested have a sleepover in the room she and Russia were sharing. Most of the now-female nations considered it just before America spoke up.

"Yeah! We can watch movies, and play games and-

"Sorry, America-kun, but you can't come."

"...Huh?"

"We can't have you looking at the female body, non?" France said. "That is my job."

"Ok," said Spain as he wrapped an arm around Romano. "I'll just put my sleeping bag next to Roma-" SMACK.

"Like hell you are! You're staying out of the room with America!"

Belarus grabbed onto Russia's arm and looked up. "I'll sleep with Russia."

"You should stay out here with Spain and America so they don't get lonely, Belarus." Russia said quickly.

With that, all the fem-nations turned to leave.

"Ve~! Come on, China!"

"... I'm still a man, aru."

"Oops! Sorry!"

Later...

The fem-nations sat in the bedroom in their PJ's... not really sure what to do.

"... So... anyone know what girls do at these things...?"

"...Uh-" SMACK. England was suddenly on the ground. She looked up at France, who had a pillow in her hand.

"Pillow fight!" France cheered.

World War Three started in that bedroom. England and France were attempting to murder each other with their fluffy weapons. Romano, Italy, and Japan ganged up on Russia, who knocked out Poland. Norway and Iceland were boredly nudging each other with their pillows. Germany just stood there with a 'WTF' face.

Meanwhile the guys outside were bored. Hungary, Belarus, and Ukraine looked at each other. Then at the three actual guys on the couch.

"So... what do men do when they're bored?" asked Ukraine.

America, Spain, Prussia, and Denmark looked at each other. America turned on the TV and changed the channel to a baseball game.

"Anything else?" Hungary asked.

They looked at each other again. Denmark got up to get a beer.

"Anything _else_?" Hungary asked.

"Screw this, I'm going to spy on brother." Belarus deadpanned as he walked out of the room.

"Belarus! Wait! Who knows what they could be doing in there!"

Back to the slumber party...

They were playing 'I never'. You know, that game where you say something you never did and the people who _did _do it take a drink? Don't look at me like that! -.-" Someone requested they get drunk! Well, they were 5 minutes into the game, France was surrounded by wine bottles, and it was Poland's turn.

"Ok... like, I never got drunk and went a rampage."

"Oh come on!" France took yet another sip of her 24th wine bottle.

England, Germany, and Russia reluctantly took a sip of their bottles.

"I never stole someone's mail." Norway said.

France's eye twitched. "Zut." France took another sip. She suddenly regretted stealing all those love letters. Though she was not sorry for stealing England's mail.

"I was never in a spy movie, da." Russia said.

France sighed and took another sip. WHAM. France's face hit the floor.

"... Do it again." England said.

"I know what we should do to France." Russia said as she pulled out a pink marker.

England snatched the marker and scribbled the UK flag onto France's forehead. Then Poland drew some glasses. And Romano drew a curly-Q mustache. And Italy wrote 'Italy was here' on her cheek.

Meanwhile outside the door...

"Aw! They're drawing on France without me!" America hissed. He removed his head from the door.

"Too bad. I will be joining the party without you." Belarus pulled out a stick with a star at the end of it.

"Is that England's wand?"

"Yes. I'm changing myself back so I can be with Russia."

America took the wand. "I'll do it! I'm the hero, so this magic thing should be no problem." America swished and flicked the wand. "Wingardium Leviosa!"

...Nothing happened...

"That should've change you back. What happened?" America turned around to examine the wand.

America didn't notice he made Ukraine start floating. Ukraine was silently freaking out while Spain and Prussia tried pulling him down. America smacked the wand. Ukraine fell on top of Spain, Prussia, and Denmark.

Belarus grabbed the wand. "Give me that. You have no idea what you're doing."

America tried pulling the wand back. "Of course I know what I'm doing!"

America and Belarus started tugging the wand back and forth. Neither one noticed that the wand started glowing.

"Uh... guys?" Prussia said.

"WHAT?" they both yelled. They looked down at the glowing wand, and then at each other. "Oh sh-" BOOM!

Meanwhile in the room...

"...Anyone else hear that?"

"Sadly, yes."

Then there came a scream outside the door. And someone slammed the door open.

A girl with short golden hair, blue eyes, a bomber jacket, and at least a C-cup. She looked freaked out and she was holding a magic wand.

England facepalmed. "Oh god no."

"It was an accident! I was trying to change Belarus and... What the hell is wrong with my voice?" America said.

France finally woke up. "Mon dieu... what happened?" Then she noticed America and instantly got to her feet. "Bonjour~! And who might you be, ma cheri?"

"That's America, Frog."

France's eyes widened as she examined America. "Oh hell no! Her breasts are bigger than mine!"

"Really?" America looked down for a second. "Oh sweet! Wait..." America left the room and went to the bathroom. "HOLY CRAP!"

"What?"

"I'M HOT!" Then realization practically bitch-slapped America. "OH S_, FLORIDA'S GONE!"

"Even Disney?" Italy asked.

"Yeah!"

"NOOOOO!" Italy yelled.

"Wait..." England said. "Even Harry-Potter-land?"

"Especially Harry-Potter-land!"

"NOOOOO!" England yelled.

Downstairs, there came a banging on the front door. Everyone could hear the imaginary screams as the front door came down.

"What was-"

"Su-san! Calm down!"

"I w'nt t' see th' _idiot _wh' w's m'ssing w'th m'gic 'gain!"

Everyone pushed America to the front. Up the stairs came a very pissed off lady with incredibly long hair. Grabbing onto her arm, trying to hold back the killing intent, was Finland.

**"Wh' w's using m'gic?" **Sweden death-glared at the wand in America's hand.

"Su-san!" Finland said. "Calm down! Being turned into a girl temporarily isn't _that _bad!"

"F'nland."

"Yes?"

"You're st'll th' w'fe."

"... Forget it, go nuts."

"Finland!" America saw the pissed off Swede get closer. "Aw fu-" SMACK!

**Me: New chappie! There you go! ^_^ And... (Glance at England)**

**England: What?**

**Me: I saw Car 2 on Monday. (btw, Pixar, I think one of your producers went emo or something. Don't deny it. We have evidence in 2 movies.) Iggy, I want that British spy car by the time I learn how to drive. -_- And it better have a goddamn GPS on it.**

**England: ... Fine! If you win the war, you all get spy cars! =_=**

**Me: :D**

**England: Damn, why did I say that? =_=**

**Me: Review! And vote in the poll to see who we kidnap! :D  
><strong>


	10. Resorting to the resort

_Me: Ok, before we invade, (*pulls out a list*) we have some July birthdays. And by some I mean 'too many to write fics for each of them and it would be insulting to mesh all them all together'. Let's see, in order... Canada, Hong Kong, America, Liechtenstein, France, several fangirls, my birthday (Spain. I want that Hatafutte either **on time **or two days early!), and several dozen OCs._

_Canada: Thanks for remembering. ^_^_

_Me: And... we also need a definite top 5 in the poll before we invade. Though I can guarantee **one **person we're kidnapping... (*glance at Japan*)_

_Nezumi: Shouldn't you answer the questions about Florida?_

_Me: Yeah... (sweatdrop) For the peoples in Florida at the moment... it is slowly sinking- RUN! DX  
><em>

_Nezumi: Bri-san! We've captured some of the nations, their pets, and we're almost to the other side of the fourth wall._

_Me: Who did we catch?_

_Nezumi: (Looks over) Macau-san, Vietnam-san, Latvia-nii, Estonia-nii, Romania-san-_

_BOOM!_

_Me: What just happened? O_O_

_Fangirl (covered in pudding): They set a bomb that blasts chocolate pudding in the Left Front._

_Me: What about the Central Front?_

_BOOM!_

_Fangirl #2 (covered in herring): They buried a can of surstromming!_

_Me: Should I even ask about the Right Front?_

_BOOM!_

_Fangirl #3 (covered in green stuff): England cooked pea soup! X_X_

_Me: How cruel! Get a Munchlax in here to clear the tunnels! Ok... Today we thank 'Sarah Magic Spell' for this chappie's idea. As you clearly see, I don't own Hetalia, or else-_

_Nezumi: BRI-SAN, LOOK OUT!_

_Me: (Looks up at gets splattered with a food-filled balloon) Ew... What the hell am I covered in?_

_Nezumi: It smells like mashed potatoes._

_Me:... THIS MEANS WAR! DX_

_btw, I. FOUND. FAN-ART. OF. THIS. CRACK SERIES. :D (Not really found, my bff found it and sent me a link.) They were so cuuute! XD (And the person who drew them said I should've told you guys I have a deviantart. It's basically my Pen name with a - in between. (Bri-Nara) ^^") On to the madness.  
><em>

* * *

><p>They were bored. So France suggested "We should go to a beach, non?"<p>

Half the room was about to answer 'No' when Italy said "Ve~! That's a great idea! Which beach should we go to?"

For the next five minutes, everyone in the room started calling friends on their cellphones (because obviously they don't want the potential disaster at _their_ beach).

"Hello, Malaysia, aru? Are there any good beaches there we can borrow for a bit, aru? Oh. I'm tell him, aru." Click. "England, Malaysia says that Hong Kong and Korea are pissed off at you, ahen. So we can't go to any of her beaches."

"Hey, Puerto Rico! ... It's America. I sound funny 'cause England messed up another spell and now I'm a girl. So, can we use one of your be- Hello? Puerto Rico? Hello?"

"Hey, Cuba? ... It's not America, it's Canada! Do you have any beaches we can be at for today? Yes, America will be there. ... He hung up on me."

"Hey Norge! I-"

"I'm right here, idiot."

"Ve~. Why are we asking for beaches again?"

"Because," America answered, "_**somebody **_made Cocoa beach disappear!"

Belarus glared. "I said sorry already."

"Sorry doesn't bring back the theme parks, Belarus! DX"

"Hold on!" England said as she realized something. "We don't even have bathing-suits!"

"Ohonhonhon~ Yes we do~." France ran off to her room and returned with a large bag. She pored the contents onto the coffee table. Bathing-suits with everyone's flags on them. "Find your flags~."

England grabbed the two piece with her flag on it and blushed. "Why is it my old flag instead of the Union flag?"

France smirked. "I thought it looked hotter."

England looked at the red crosses on the bikini top and bottom. She glared at France. "I hate you, Frog."

One plane ride to the Caribbean later...

"Welcome to the Boca Chica resort~! Make yourselves at home~!"

Dominican Republic was the only country willing to have them all over... either that or she had no idea what destruction this group was capable of...

The first thing the nations did was get to the beach. Just in time for the volleyball competition.

"You're going down, Frog!"

"I think not! _You _are going down, Angleterre!"

It was the Bad Touch Trio vs England, Hungary, and America. Hungary was serving first.

POW! Hungary smacked the ball with the strength of thousand badass fictional characters. Straight at Prussia.

"OH SH-!" BLAM!

"Sorry~."

When it was Prussia's turn to serve, he aimed at Hungary. But missed and it hit a random bystander.

"MAPLE! DX"

"Sorry 'bout that, Birdie!"

Meanwhile in the water...

China was sitting on his inner tube, trying to _relax _in one of my fics for once.

"Ah~. Peace at last, aru~."

Duh-dun.

China heard a splash behind him. "Probably just some kids, aru."

Duh-dun.

The splash was closer now. "...Just ignore it, aru."

Dun dun. Dun dun. Dun dun. Dun dun. Dun dun. Du-

"DA-ZE!" GROPE!

"OH F_ NO, ARU!"

"You shouldn't shout those things in public, Sensei."

China turned around. Behind him was a young girl with a long braid. There was someone else behind her, but they put had most of face in the water after China turned around.

"Hi Aniki!"

"K-Korea?"

"Yeah! Just like last time, da-ze!"

China was about to groan and sink into his inner tube until he remembered about the person trying to disappear behind Korea. "Who's that, aru?"

"Oh, that's just Hong Kong, da-ze."

China looked over at Hong Kong. "Why aren't you coming out of the water, aru?"

Hong Kong tried to sink lower.

"He's embarrassed because the spell hit him this time, da-ze. I mean, _her._"

Hong Kong was completely underwater by now. Korea dived in pulled her out of the water.

"Come on out, Hong Kong!"

Korea held Hong Kong out of the water. China saw a dead-sexy girl with long hair. And she looked annoyed at Korea.

"What the-? Hong Kong-? Pretty-? What is this- I don't even-? ARU?" Then China fainted.

"... He's unconscious..."

"Unconsciousness originated in Korea, da-ze."

That night...

...was karaoke night at the resort they were staying at. Yeah, the nations were participating in karaoke night when the free bar was about ten feet away from the stage. What could possible go right?

"_Don't want to be an American idiot~!_"

"That's mean, England! Why'd you pick that song?"

It was China's turn and he went up to the microphone on the stage.

"Start the music, aru!"

_I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world~!_

Several nations started laughing their asses off. Especially Korea, who was working in the sound booth. (The only part visible is like, a little hole in the wall on stage left.)

"I'm not a girl, aru!" China yelled.

"Okay, Aniki!"

"Start the _real _song, aru!"

_That! That! Dude looks like a lady~!_

The laughter throughout the audience got louder. America fell out of her chair, and England was crying from laughing so hard.

"DAMMIT, THE _OTHER _REAL SONG, ARU!"

_(The rock/metal version) MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD! DAMN RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS!_

China threw the microphone at the little sound booth hole, and nailed Korea.

"OW!"

"THAT'S WHAT YOU GET, ARU!"

**Me: Finally, new chappie! (Can't remember who requested karaoke night though...)**

**China: WHY, ARU? D:**

**Me: Cuz you're _so _easy to annoy. And since Korea's here now, you got double this chapter.**

**Korea: Aren't you glad I'm here, Aniki? :D**

**China: Aiyah...**

** Me and Korea: Vote and review, da-ze! :D**_  
><em>


	11. CHARGE! THE CREDIT CARD, I MEAN!

_Me: OK! We have a Top 5 in the poll! LET'S DO THIS! (Runs towards the Fourth Wall while holding up my Chibi-Hammer) RAAAAAH! DX_

_Nations: (Looks over the Fourth Wall)_

_America: Is she **really **charging at us?_

_Italy: Ve~? What happened to that huge army she had?_

_(Rumbling sound and ground shaking)_

_Germany: What the-?_

_(Army of fangirls, Pokemon, OCs, plus Netherlands on a Rapidash appears on the horizon holding up their weapon of choice)_

_America: O_O Holy s_..._

_France: (Grabs England by the shirt) THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU JUST GAVE THEM YOUR 'BLOODY' SCONES!_

_England: No! WHOEVER PUT BRICKS ON THE FOURTH WALL DOOR IS TO BLAME!_

_Sealand: (pops in out of nowhere) Hey! If I stop them from attacking, will you guys recognize me as a nation? :D_

_Nations: (beat)_

_England: ...It was you, wasn't it?_

_Sealand: How did you find out, desu yo? o_o  
><em>

_England: (reaches to strangle Sealand) SO IT **WAS **YOU!_

_Hungary: Guys! O_O_

_Fangirls: (pops out of the tunnel we made and starts dragging nations to the other side)_

_China: (gets pulled away by the ponytail by Emmy-san) DAMMIT! NOT AGAIN, ARU! DX_

_England: (gets dragged into the tunnel) IF I DON'T MAKE IT, SOMEONE KICK SEALAND'S ASS FOR ME! DX_

_Austria: (gets pulled into the tunnel)_

_Hungary: Give Austria back, you-!_

_(Austria's shirt gets thrown out of the tunnel)_

_Hungary: Wait for me! :D (runs in)_

_Romania: (Runs after whoever stole his hat)  
><em>

_Spain and Fangirls: (having a tug-o-war match over Romano)_

_Nezumi: (walks in with the first-aid kit) (Sigh) Remember, Bri-san doesn't own Hetalia. Nor does she own the outfit designs in this chapter, she asked for help from 'Sarah Magic Spell'. Because Bri-san has a fashion-sense that would make France cry. (Hit with an acorn)_

* * *

><p>The day started out fine and normal. As normal as they could get while gender-bent.<p>

Until America found a credit card.

"Hey! Look what I found!" America said as she held up the shiny gold card. "Maybe we should go shopping with this!"

"America! That's_ my_ card!" England reached up to grab it, but America held her back with one hand. "Just because Obama cut up your credit card doesn't mean you can steal mine!"

"I'll give you guys a total hero makeover!"

France pulled out her own gold card and wrapped an arm around America. "Oui! Let's go, mon amie!" America and France charged out the door.

"... That was _my _card... git..."

Later in Random Mall, USA...

The guys (this included the ones gender-bent into guys) and America were sitting outside the dressing rooms. America went crazy with England's credit card and bought everyone who was gender-bent new clothes.

"Come on out, guys! I wanna see how the nice outfits I bought look on you!"

England came out first, looked at America, and crossed her arms. America bought her punk-ish clothes. Black shorts, a sleeveless red top, a short leather jacket, and leather boots to top it off.

"How do I look?"

"Like a hot biker chick without spikes."

"I better look hot! You spent over 150 dollars on this outfit alone!"

France slammed the door to her dressing room open and skipped out. She was showing off her_ fabulous_ ensemble. A short blue dress, leggings, a red belt, and a little beret.

"Well, no wonder you're always in such tacky clothes, Angleterre!" France said with a smirk. "If you think 150 is expense, you probably can't afford nice clothes."

"And how much, pray tell, did _that _cost?"

France walked up to England and whispered the price in her ear. America and France got a good laugh from the look on England's face.

Germany walked out of her dressing room. German flag tank top and dark green pants with black boots. Germany gave America a look that said something along the lines of 'Thanks for letting me keep _some _masculinity by not buying a skirt'.

Suddenly, she was glomped from behind. "Ve~! Germany~! You look cute~!"

Germany turned around and saw Italy. She was in a sleeveless pink top and a white mini-skirt. That outfit with the smile on her face made Germany start blushing.

"How do I look?" Italy asked. In Germany's head, Italy was surrounded by flowers, hearts, and bubbles as she asked. Dammit, no more shojo manga either!

"You... uh... look... um... uh..." France smacked Germany's head. "You look dead-sexy in that mini-skirt!" Germany blurted out.

"Ve? Really? Thanks, Germany!" Italy noticed something missing. "My purse! Wait here." Italy ran back into the dressing room.

Germany faced the others with a dead-serious look on her face. "Can I be in charge of the next world meeting?"

"Sure... why?"

"There are going to be some changes to the dress-code." Cue the flame of passion behind Germany. "_That day... All female nations will be required to wear... **tiny mini-skirts!**_"

All the (former)male nations cheered. Italy cheered too, despite not knowing what was going on. But you could practically hear Belarus and Hungary facepalming.

"D'NMARK!" Sweden slammed the door open. She marched over to the Dane who was laughing his ass off. In a traditional Swedish dress. (Nona-chan, HERE IS YOUR REQUEST. XD) "Did y' r'place m' cl'thes w'th a _dress?_"

Denmark responded by laughing harder. "I know you're gonna kick my ass, but seeing your face right now is _so _worth it." He even pulled out his cellphone and snapped a picture.

Sweden glared. "Not k'cking y' 'ss. I'm g'nna d' s'mething _much _w'rse."

"What are you gonna do? Throw me into Victoria's Secret? How _horrible_!"

Sweden grabbed Denmark by the collar of his jacket. "'Member th't computer g'me I m'de?"

Denmark's eyes widened as he realized which game Sweden was talking about. "You mean...? NO! NO! I HAD NIGHTMARES FOR A MONTH THE LAST TIME YOU MADE ME SIT THROUGH THAT GAME! YOU EVEN HELD A CAN OF SURSTROMMING TO MY NOSE BECAUSE THE GAME DIDN'T HAVE SMELL EFFECTS TO GO WITH THE LACK OF NOISE! YOU MAY NOT BE A VIKING ANYMORE BUT YOU ARE ONE SADISTIC BASTARD, SWEDEN!" Sweden dragged him away while Denmark started freaking out. "NORGE! IF I DON'T MAKE IT, TELL NORWAY I..." Then Denmark was dragged out of earshot. (If you can guess which Swedish horror (creepy-as-hell) game I'm talking about, raise your hand)

Finland ran after them. "Su-san! Don't do _that _to him! You look cute in that dress! Really!"

Norway and Iceland finally came out of the dressing room. Norway was in a grey dress, and Iceland was in a white dress with a brown jacket.

"Which way did they go?" Everyone point to the left. Norway left, mumbling something about 'an idiot who can't relax for two seconds'.

Korea and Hong Kong came out. Korea was in a short white dress, blue vest, and blue heels. While Hong Kong was in a red dress, looking hot enough to flip cards on a game show.

"How do I look, Sensei?" Hong Kong asked.

"You... uh... look... um... uh..." France smacked China's head. "You look very pretty, aru." China blurted out.

France pouted, since she expected China to say something funnier like Germany. "Disappointing. Right, Prusse?" France looked around when she didn't get a response. "Prussia? ... Has anyone seen Prussia?"

"Or Romano?" asked Spain.

"And Brother..." Belarus said.

"And Japan."

"And Canada!"

"Who?"

Just then, there was a (manly!) scream that sounded throughout the mall.

"They're in trouble! That was Prussia's scream!" Hungary said.

"How do you know it was Prussia's scream?" Germany asked.

Hungary just gave her a look that said 'I've made him scream... many times...'

They ran over to where the screams came from... a public bathroom. Not just _any _public bathroom. The _girls' _public bathroom.

"... You have _got _to be s_ing me."

"Go in there and save them!" Hungary said.

"WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?" England yelled.

Hungary, Belarus, and Ukraine responded "We can't go in there now."

England sighed. She lead the other fem!nations into the bathroom, where all of their jaws dropped.

"Oh my god."

"What. Just... what?"

"The pink... it _burns_. DX"

"OMG! I am, like, _totally _decorating my bathroom like this!"

It was very... pink... in that bathroom... And there were flowers... _And _butterflies... It made America want to grab a monster truck magazine to make the scene a _little _less girly.

There were spa-styled chairs in there. Russia was chatting with a bunch of fangirls and fanboys. Prussia was recounting the time he beat up Austria, which required copying 'that sissy aristocrat's girly scream as the awesome me kicked his ass.' Romano was requesting/demanding a spa treatment. Several fans were playing with/braiding/admiring Canada's hair.

Japan was running in and out of a stall, each time in different cosplay the girls requested. Yuki from Vampire Knight. SLAM. Reimu from Touhou. SLAM. Sakura from Cardcaptor Sakura. SLAM. CC from Code Geass. SLAM. Tea from Yugioh. Then she noticed the other fem!nations staring at this messed up situation.

"Oh... um... hello, everyone..."

"We were worried about you guys! Geez!"

Russia looked at the nations. "Aw, fun's over." She gave a little wave to her fans. "Bye bye."

Prussia sighed and got up too. "Bye, my awesome peoples. See you on Friday, Sarah. See you on Saturday, Nicole. See you on Sunday, Jasmine."

Germany dragged Prussia away by the collar. "Let's go, Bruder."

**Me: AT LAST! VICTORY! :D Thank you, random person who was the 31st vote in the poll**. **We finally got to invade the fic! Poll results: Japan was the very obvious first place.**

**Japan: (bows) Arigato.**

**Me: Second place... Romano? O_o How do you keep getting so high on these polls?**

**Romano: (anime angry mark) WHAT THE HELL IS _THAT _SUPPOSED TO MEAN?**

**Me: N-Nothing. ^^" Third place... Canada.**

**Canada: (waves to the audience) Thank you! ^_^**

**Kumajiro: Who are you?**

**Canada: I'm third plac- I mean, Canada.**

**Me: Fourth place: The awesome Prussia, who didn't even have to be gender-bent.**

**Prussia: HELL YEAH! XD**

**Me: And fifth goes to Russia.**

**Russia: ^J^**

**Me: Ok! (waves) Review~! :D  
><strong>


	12. Cosplay party ftw!

_Me: (tosses confetti) We broke down the fourth wall, invaded the chapter, and I'm in a good mood! Hand out the new spy cars, Finland! ^_^_

_Finland: Huh? Why me?_

_Me: (Pulls out a calendar) Because today's Christmas in July! :D (July 25th)  
><em>

_Finland: ... But there's no such-_

_Me: And today's my birthday, so you have to do what I say anyways. ^_^_

_Finland: ... (Hands out the spy cars)_

_America: I brought the cake! (Pulls out a huge, bright red cake with tiny plastic anime characters standing on it)_

_Japan: (So red...)_

_China: (How can they eat that, aru?)_

_America: The part the Naruto characters are on standing on is vanilla, the part the Ouran guys are standing on is strawberry, the part with the Pikachu is chocolate, and the part that the hero, Japan, and Italy are standing on is ice-cream-cake! :D_

_Me: Sweet! (cuts up cake and gives everyone reading this a slice)_

_Prussia: (gives Bri a beer) And you are now old enough to drink!  
><em>

_Germany: (takes beer) In Germany. And certain other countries in Europe with an ID and permission. But since you're in America, 5 more years. (Gives Bri a juice box)_

_Me: -_- Thank you, Germany._

_Nezumi: (Pulls sleeve) You have some questions, Bri-san. (Hands over review-letters)_

_Me: Thanks, Mousy-kun. (Reads letters) Yes, I was talking about Amnesia: The Dark Descent. My cousin forced me to sit through the demo of it last month (which goes up to the water part. The goddamn water part, he shut the door. DX). That game scares the crap out of me. (Stupid cousin has a habit of mentally scaring me and my baby bro whenever we visit, he's a HUGE fan of the horror genre.)_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Oh! Apparently the Fourth Wall commented. Sorry! ^^" But now my image of the Fourth Wall Personification is Hanataro Yamada. (Reads the letter from Berry-san) There were fanboys in the girls' bathroom because there was a back door. And we were in the girls' bathroom because someone requested to see the fem!nations' reactions. And Japan had the cosplay with her. btw, (writes long list of cosplay on a piece of paper) here's your party (I needed a Sweet Sixteen, anyways. This will do.)  
><em>

_Me: (Reads another letter) Ok... I can do that. Not really my OTP, but I can do that. (Reads requests for characters) Of course you can have them! (Gathers up Russia, Germany, Romano, Italy, Canada, and Japan. Then throws them to the audience.) _

_Warning. This chapter contains: excessive exposure to cosplay, the Bad Touch Trio, innuendos, several random cosplays of characters from anime you may not know, pairing implications, stealth puns (with France and Germany), cross-dressing, the authoress's weird sense of humor, destruction of grammar (as usual), a long-ass author's note, and your daily doses of Nara-Brand crack._

* * *

><p>"What. Just, what is this...? I don't even..."<p>

"Um... we can explain, Angleterre."

England was staring down at the Bad Touch Trio. Spain, for some strange reason, was in a clown outfit. France was covered head-to-toe in chocolate and holding England's 'star-wand'. And Prussia was in a nun's outfit... and now female.

"Start explaining."

"You see, there was this sad little kid who wanted some candy-" started Spain.

"Alright, stop explaining."

"Let us finish! Since the kid wanted something sweet, I pulled out my wand-" Prussia continued.

"Seriously! Stop talking! Wait, that's _my _wand! Where did you even _get _that?"

"You hide it under your pillow." France answered. "Your wand is very easy to grab, Angleterre."

"For the love of all things decent, _please _stop talking!"

The three pervs looked at each other before laughing. "You're as dirty as we are! We weren't even _trying _to be dirty."

"...Shut up."

"A-AUSTRIA?"

"F'NLAND?"

Spain and France looked at Prussia. "You might want to start running. Fast."

Prussia raised an eyebrow. "Why only me?"

The door got kicked open. In stormed in Mangary and Sweden holding a piano over their heads. A piano that got thrown straight at the shocked Prussian.

"Aw son of an Austrian bi-" BLAM WITH MIDDLE C.

"That's why, Prussia," the rest of the trio deadpanned.

Austria and Finland arrived to see the damage their friends have done. Austria's hair was notably longer, and was already forced into a dress. Finland was still in his...her...their uniform, though the nation apparently shrunk a bit. Her hair got a bit longer, at least three inches. (Based of newest chibi nyotalia sketches... even if it took a while to tell who was who.)

"I think you went a little too far, Su-san." Finland said with a sweatdrop.

"S'rry. Just th't n'body messes w'th m' w'fe."

'How am _I _still the wife when _both _of us are girls?' Finland thought. (Forever a wife, Finland. Forever a wife.)

Austria was too busy staring at the busted up piano. "That poor piano... So young, it wasn't even tuned yet."

"Don't worry, it's from Fritz's castle."

"... Still..."

Japan and Poland ran into the room with arms full of outfits. Both of them were grinning. "We got them!" they both cheered to Hungary.

Hungary glanced at the outfits in their arms and grinned too.

"Uh oh." England said.

A lot of outfit changing later...

"Of _all _the bloody cosplays they have, why the _bloody hell _do I have to be _Ciel _that one time he was in a dress?" England groaned.

"Because it suits you the best!" America answered.

"Of course, because Nami _really _suits you. And Maylene _really _suits Canada as well."

"Not all of the costumes are random. Look, there's Russia as Fran from that horror manga. There's Belarus as Stein... Prussia is Squalo..."

"And, of course, moi!" said a voice from behind them. They saw someone behind them with dark hair, a black dress, and a (temporary) ouroboros tattoo.

"... Whoever decided to dress you up as Lust is either an idiot or a pure genius."

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, Denmark was looking for Norway. Or rather, Ichigo was looking for another Bleach character.

"Norge! Norge!" He saw who he thought was Orihime from behind. "Hey!" He ran over right as she turned around. And Denmark tripped and crashed right into her lips.

Sweden (dressed as Blossom from PPGZ) stared in shock. Denmark just said "Oops" and walked off. (Behold your crack-action, Ducere. Note: Neither got mad from the kiss.)

Finland (Bubbles) just stared in shock too. Norway and Iceland (Maru and Moro from xxxHolic) popped up from behind Sweden.

"Now I'm glad didn't pick the Orihime outfit."

Meanwhile in another corner of the room, Korea was dragging China over to where Hong Kong was.

"Why do I have to be a ninja _with _you, aru?"

"I look like Misao from Rurouni Kenshin, and there has to be at least _one _Naruto cosplay here because the authoress loves Naruto!"

"_But why the hell did you force me to be Tenten, aru?_"

"Rule of Funny originated in Korea, da-ze! (Besides, you're one of the cutest girls in the room.)"

Then China saw Hong Kong. In a Japanese schoolgirl uniform, so she looked a lot like Sakaki. China raised an eyebrow. "Azumanga Daioh?"

Hong Kong nodded. "Yeah. It was Japan's idea."

"Where is Japan anyways?"

Japan was strutting into the room with Hungary and Poland. (Cosplay Trio!) Japan was Lelouch, Mangary was Suzaku, and Poland was Euphemia in a _totally _pretty pink dress. Trailing behind them was a very cranky aristocrat dressed like Sakura from Tsubasa.

"_Why _do I have to be Sakura?" Austria asked.

"Because Suzaku sorta looks like Syaoran, don't you think?"

"... Not much of an excuse."

"You are the grouchiest Sakura _ever_."

"Ve~! You guys look so cool!"

Japan turned around and saw Italy and Germany walking towards her. Italy was wearing several small hairpins to make her hair seem shorter, a FMA military uniform, and glasses. Germany was wearing a longer-haired pony-tailed blonde wig, a white shirt, and a black skirt. (Sheska and Winry.)

"Thank you, Italy-chan. Wait... are those real glasses?"

"I wanted to see what wearing glasses feel like. But I can't see anything!"

"That's why I told you to get the _fake _glasses." Germany sighed. "Wait, Japan, aren't you dressed as a boy?"

"A lot of girls cosplay as boys." Japan glanced at the audience, then back at Germany.

"Why didn't you tell me that sooner? I _really _hate this skirt."

Germany's complaining about the skirt was cut off by a spotlight that turned on in the middle of the floor.

"Since when did my house have that?" England asked.

In the middle of the dance floor was a matador and a pissed off Italian in a Flamenco dress.

"I f_ing hate you for this, tomato-bastard."

"No words, Romano! Just dance with the music!" Spain said as he magically conjured a flamenco guitar.

The dancing was impressive, even if Romano _never _did the girl part. 'Cause Spain _totally _didn't make Romano dance this under his rule. Nope. _Never _did the girl's part before being gender-bent. (Sarcasm towards Romano mode off)

The music stopped. Romano stopped dancing and glared at Spain. "We are _never _doing that again."

**Me: There's your new chappie! ^_^ My gift to my peoples. (Must... draw these... when I get... Tablet...)  
><strong>

**Spain: But it's _your_ birthday.**

**Me: Can't I be generous? It's still Christmas in July. (Smirk) By the way, where's my gift, Spain?**

**Spain: (sweatdrop) Um... (Runs like the wind)**

**Me: (Chases him) Espana! Dame mi regalo!**

**Male!Ukraine (dressed as Kaito): Review!**


	13. Trying to fix this thing!

_Me: Hi peoples~! (waves and smiles like an idiot) Here's your new chappie~!_

_America: (Nudges Bri with an evil grin) Tell them~._

_Me: (sigh) I'm going back to my state soon. Which means I'm screwed along with the elderly since I wrote that it's sinking. -_-" Farewell, people of America's forehead._

_America: That's what you get for taking my- wait, how is New York my forehead?_

_Me: (Pulls out a US map) New York (state) is your forehead (cuz of this one pic I saw), Massachusetts is your hair (Nantucket), Washington DC's your heart, the Appalachian Mountains are you abs (or at least your muscles), the Rockies are your back, California's your ass, and Florida's your- (*bricked by Americans from said places*) This has been screwed up crack/headcanon-geography with Bri Nara. (*bricked harder*)  
><em>

_England: And I thought **his **geography was horrible!_

_Me: I was kidding, Iggy. btw, for cosplays here are the animes they're from. England and Canada were from Black Butler (how do you spell that maid's name? Maylene? May-Rin? Everyone guessed a gym-leader from Pokemon). America was from One Piece. Russia was from Franken Fran (don't read if you're easily scared/grossed-out). Belarus was from Soul Eater. Prussia was from Katekyo Hitman Reborn. France, Italy, and Germany were from Fullmetal Alchemist. Denmark was from Bleach. Sweden and Finland were from PPGZ (the anime version of Powerpuff Girls). Norway and Iceland were from xxxHolic. Korea was from Rurouni Kenshin (cuz Fem!Korea and Misao both have very long braids). China was from Naruto. Hong Kong was from Azumanga Daioh. Japan, Hungary, and Poland were from Code Geass (I now pronounce you, 'Cosplay Trio' and headcanon). Austria was from Tsubasa (because Suzaku looks like Syaoran! Really!). Spain was a matador cuz of dat ass. Finally, Romano was in a flamenco dress for the humor._

_Romano: (Looks up at list) How the f_ did you fit all that in one chapter? Did you have f_ing pixie sticks again?_

_Me: (Yandere smile) Don't piss off the authoress or I'm doing a parody fic._

_France: Mon dieu... Are you threatening us with Pink Panther 2 again?_

_Me: No. I watched too many parody-trailers of The Hangover._

_Everyone: (Groan)_

_America: (Raises hand) Can I be Alan?_

_Me: (Shrug) Sure, why not?_

_England: By the way, what are we going to do about the Fourth Wall?_

_Me: (Pulls out Peace Treaty) Treaty of 'No bloqueo.' 'No bricks shall be brought to the Fourth Wall unless it is for repair. There shall not be another Fourth Wall War so long as the fangirls or the authoress are allowed to walk into the story.'_

_England: (This treaty is going to be broken by the next fanfiction. I just know it.)_

_America: Bri does not own Hetalia. If she did-_

_Iceland: (gets shoved into the room) Bri just attacked me with a pair of scissors!_

_Me: I did not. I just gave your gender-bend a haircut. I'm trying to keep the gender-bends as close to canon as possible.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Austria stormed into the library England was having tea in. "England, change me back, please."<p>

"You do realize what may happen, right?"

"Yes. However, _anything _is better than-"

Prussia's head popped up from behind the door_. _"Kesesese~! How's it feel to have Silesia taken _again_?" Then she got smacked in the head with a frying pan.

England sipped her tea. "I see. Go get Norway."

The door was thrown open_. _Hungary eagerly lead a somewhat-startled Norway into the room.

"_Someone _is eager to make Austria a man again."

Hungary sweatdropped and left the room.

England started drawing the magic chalk circle while glaring at Norway.

"...What's with that look?"

"... I assumed you would know."

"England, are you still mad that I didn't attend the last Magic Club meeting?"

"We were going to do the time travel spell! It needs _three_ people. Romania and I were waiting for you all day!"

"Time travel spell? And _what _were you going to do in the past after what happened last time?"

"... We would be the only ones expecting the Spanish Inquisition."

Austria 'ahem'-ed to remind the two nations he was still in the room. "Should I even ask what happened 'last time'?"

"Oh, nothing you need to know about. Just a little incident in which Sealand took over the world (it was all Romania's fault). Oh look, the circle's finished. Just step inside, Austria."

England and Norway started mumbling in an ancient language. Austria started floating, hair spread out like a fan, and glowing in the circle. Cue distraction.

SLAM! "ENGLAAAAAAND! FRANCE WON'T GET THE HELL OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND POLAND'S IN THE OTHER ONE! YOU BUG FRANCE, SO GET HER OUT!"

Norway sighed. "I _knew _this would happen."

"America! Not now! Can't you see I'm doing a spell?"

"You mean the one that's about to blow up in your face?"

"Yes, that one. Wait, what the fu-!" BOOM.

The rest of the nations ran over to the library. England, Norway, America, and Austria were passed out on the ground. All still girls.

"Hey, maybe nothing happened this time-" Cue the screams from the Mediterranean and Asia. "Never mind..."

Prussia turned around saying "I'll block the door."

Five seconds later...

Everyone was in the living room. They were waiting for the next gender-bent nations to arrive. By now it was because:

a) Everyone was curious to see who got hit with the spell this time and how they looked like.

b) They were concerned for the poor wooden door that kept getting kicked down.

c) (the reason most of them were there) It was f_ing hilarious to see the other nations' reaction to being surrounded by chicks.

The first nation to arrive actually knocked on the door. "Please... let me... in."

Japan's eyes widened. "I know who it is." She opened the door for nation #1.

A girl in a toga stepped in. She had long, curly, silky-as-hell dark-brown hair. She had green eyes that could only be described as 'trying to stay awake.'

Japan's eyes widened even more. "G-Greece-san?" Several jaws _dropped_.

Greece just blinked. "Hello... Japan." She locked the wooden door. "I came here... to get away from... that bastard."

"So..." America said. "You _didn't _come here because you're mad at England for gender-swapping you too?"

Greece just stared at them blankly until she noticed they were girls. Then she looked down.

"... I don't remember... those being there..."

There came a loud banging on the door. "LET ME IN! LET ME KICK GREECE'S ASS FOR WHAT HE DID TO ME!"

Greece glared at the door. "I didn't do... anything. Go home."

England groaned. "Don't resist. Just let Turkey in."

"That's what France said."

"... Alright, who just said that? Who the _hell _just said that?"

The question was never answered because the door got kicked down again. Turkey immediately threw herself onto Greece. They began with the scratching, and the pulling, and the insults flying everywhere.

"Ooh! Catfight!" America cheered.

"DROP DEAD!"

"...You first."

"You're going down, cat-bitch!"

"_You're _going down. I have the gods on my side."

(Meanwhile on Olympus

"Five bucks on Turkey!"

"Ares!"

"What? The kid's in a dress and has _no _fighting spirit. It's obvious who's gonna win here. I thought you were _smart_, Athena."

"Look! They're aiming for the clothes~. _So _glad I bought this camera."

"Dionysus! Zeus, can't you do something about them?"

"KICK TURKEY'S ASS, KID!"

"Us-dammit! Am I the _only _sane one up here?")

In the middle of this fighting, nation #3 knocked on the door. China went over to open the door.

It was a boy. He had short brown hair and an incredibly long droopy hair sticking out. He had a sun on his shirt and a flower on his jacket. It took all of five seconds for China to recognize him.

"Taiwan, aru?"

"Hi Sensei. Have you England anywhere? I need to _talk _to him."

America was giggling. "Even the gender-bent girl is manlier than China."

China scowled and pulled out his wok. "I am getting _really _tired of hearing that, aru!"

"I'm sorry! I was joking! Not the face! Not the face!" BLAM.

Taiwan sweatdropped. "Is it always this wild here?"

Japan sighed. "Yes. You get used to it."

**Me: Random sucky chapter is random and sucky.**

**England: 'That's what France said'? =_="**

**Me: ... Me and my BFF thought of it. ^^"**

**France: I... _LOVE _IT! :D**

**England: ...**

**Me: (pulls out paper) Ok, question for the peoples: 'What is your favorite funny moment, and/or the funniest moment in this crack series?'**

**France: (pulls out a rose) Request and review~.  
><strong>


	14. Well this isn't gonna work

_Me: (Runs in)__ Hi peoples~! :D_

_Japan: (Hands Bri a ton of review-letters)_

_Me: O_o Ok... (Read letters) __Ok, my BFF (MLIA-Anime, aka Aniki)__ asked me to give her credit for 'That's what France said' thing. I know if it **does **become a meme, everyone's gonna forget where it started in a week. (I knows from experience.) (Reads another letter) 'But then what is the Midwest?'_

_America: ._. They liked your geography class._

_Me: ._. It appears so. Uh... the Midwest states are... the arms. Because of the farms and stuff (never been to this part of the US). Aniki suggested that the Dakotas are the hands and that Washington (state) is the lungs (We heard y'all have fresh air over there). The Southern states are America's legs. Which makes the 'Sun Belt' an actual belt. (*rimshot* Ba-boom tssh.)_

_England: You should tell your history teacher this. -.- I'm sure she'll laugh her ass off._

_Me: (Reads a few more letters) ... Apparently 'all of it is funny' is a popular answer to my question. And anything to do with Greece. And Walmart (I can't set foot in that place anymore without grinning like an idiot). (Reads another letter) Someone asked why people like catfights._

_America: (Gasp) It should be obvious. When men fight, we punch, we kick, and we come out bruised and ugly. When **women **fight, you scratch, you aim at the clothes, and you come out dead sexy._

_Me: (Sweatdrop) Thanks for explaining that, America. ^^; (Reads moar letters) ... We actually have character requests. Russia, Canada, Italy, get over here. (Sends out nations)_

_America: Bri doesn't own Hetalia._

* * *

><p>"...Bill...bill... bill... Bartholomew's mail from Christmas... bill... bill... 'Pervert's Monthly'?"<p>

"Sorry, Angleterre. That's mine." France snatched the magazine from England, causing several envelopes to fall.

"Look at all these bills!"

"Oh well." America said. "Say goodbye to the rest of your economy, England."

"No. All of _you _are going to earn some money."

America groaned. "Aw~. Why?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE ALL IN _MY _HOUSE! NOW GO EARN YOUR RENT!"

Later at a daycare...

"See, Belarus. It isn't that bad."

Ukraine, Belarus, and China were running a daycare. Ukraine was trying to get his brother to relax, because the grouchy look on his face was scaring the kids.

"Just smile for big sis- I mean, brother." Ukraine demonstrated with a wide smile on his face. "Smile. Please."

Then the corner of Belarus's lips went up... but it looked like something out of a slasher flick.

Several kids screamed and hid behind Ukraine. "He's scary, Mister!"

"... Just because you're showing your teeth doesn't make it a smile, Bel."

"I want to be with Brother."

"Sister."

"Whatever."

Meanwhile at a bank in Switzerland...

"You'll put the money in the bag, da?"

"W-What?"

"I'm taking the money, da."

"B-But you _work _here!"

"Consider it this week's payment~."

The banker was about to argue that she just started that morning, but the Russian pulled out a shovel.

"Kolkolkolkolkolkol-"

"ALRIGHT! ALRIGHT! JUST TAKE THE DAMN MONEY!"

It end with Russia walking away with a huge bag of money smiling sweetly. "Thanks~."

Meanwhile at McDonald's

"... Not. A. Word. Git."

America and England somehow ended up in a McDonald's. America was the cashier and England was the cook. Yes I know this sounds wrong, but the boss thought it was a good idea.

"Weren't you working in an office, America?"

"Yeah... that didn't work out. The boss wanted me to print out 100 flyers everyday for a month. So I did it all at once to save time... but the machine exploded."

England almost burst out laughing. Almost. But she had to focus on her work.

"...Dude, are you sure _you_ should be in charge of the fryer?"

"Of course! I know exactly what I'm doing!"

"Really? Is that why you fried your cellphone?"

"Son of a-!"

England whipped his phone out of the fryer so fast that grease started flying. Said grease landed on the soda machine.

"That can't be good."

The soda machine had bubbles coming out of it.

"... Well, this is gonna suck."

England pulled out an umbrella.

BOOM!

Meanwhile at a Playboy club...

France grinned.

"Why are you smiling, mi amiga?"

"I sense that Angleterre used his destructive cuisine powers for good for once."

"For good?"

"By destroying a poor excuse of a restaurant."

Back at McDonald's...

The place was covered in soda. England's umbrella was broken now. The teenage-manager came in, and he looked pissed off.

"ONE CHAPTER!" England screamed to the ceiling. "I JUST WANT TO GO **ONE CHAPTER **WITHOUT SOMETHING BREAKING!"

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?"

"She did it!" America shouted as she pointed at England.

The manager was about to yell again, but instead he gave them a confused look. He turned to the crowd.

"Psst. How do I fire someone?"

"You mean you never fired someone?"

"This is the first time in the history of McDonald's."

America thought for a moment. "Um... I think it was you point at us and shout 'YOU FIRED!'"

"Alright then... YOU'RE **FIRED**!"

"Ok! Can I get a Big Mac with a large soda and fries?"

England facepalmed.

Back at England's house...

Only three groups made money. Russia, who robbed every bank in Switzerland; Hungary, Poland, and Japan, who worked at a cosplay cafe; and the Bad Touch Trio, who were Playboy bunnies ('cept for Spain.)

Everyone else either destroyed the workplace, scared the customers, or got fired.

"Well, this should be enough to pay the bills."

"... France, you can take off the bunny costume now."

"Aw..."

**Me: (Smashes head against the wall) I'm sorry this took so long, and it's short, and it sucks, but the smaller text the site got kept giving me headaches!**

**Switzerland: (Pulls out gun)**

**Me: O_O... (Runs away) Don't shoot me! DX**

**Switzerland: (Chases Bri)**

**Liechtenstein: Review, please.**


	15. Bloody Hell, period

_Me: (walks in) Hi peoples~!_

_Liechtenstein: (Hands Bri the review-letters)_

_Me: (Reads a letter) You guys really don't like having your states left out of the crack-geography, huh? (Aniki added more states to the specify the crack-map) ._. Fine, Nevada's the lower back, Oregon's the upper back. Alabama and... -_- Georgia... are the thighs. Oklahoma and Missouri are the knees. Kentucky and Tennessee are the shins (lower legs). Hey, Aniki, you forgot Louisiana and Mississippi... well, they can be the feet (Louisiana sorta looks like a foot anyways). As for Hawaii and Alaska... uh... these are hard. ._. ... I know! Hawaii is America's-_

_America: If you say my eyes **just **because of the Blue Hawaii movie, or Blue Hawaii drink I will-_

_Me: But Americaaa. D: People say Hawaii is pretty and your eyes are pretty, so it's a compliment! As for Alaska... America's jacket since it's cold there? (Shrug)  
><em>

_Someone's OC state: I feel so violated. :S_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Prussia! Romano! Canada! Someone requested you guys... girls... nations!_

_Prussia: (Picks Canada up bridal style and walks out)_

_Romano: (Gives Bri the finger as he walks out)_

_Me: (Reads more review-letters) ...What **is **it with everybody and the period request? -_- Fine. Here's your bloody period request._

_England: ... I can't believe you just made a pun out of that._

_Me: You can many many puns with this, Iggy._

_England: Bri doesn't own Hetalia. As usual._

_For those who lost track:_

_Axis: All gender-bent_

_Allies: All but China_

_Nordics: All but Denmark_

_Hungary: Gender-bent_

_Austria: Gender-bent_

_Prussia: Gender-bent_

_Spain: Still a guy_

_Romano: Gender-bent_

_Belarus: Gender-bent_

_Ukraine: Gender-bent_

_Canada: Gender-bent_

_Greece: Gender-bent_

_Turkey: Gender-bent_

_Poland: Gender-bent_

_Korea: Gender-bent_

_Hong Kong: Gender-bent_

_Taiwan: Gender-bent_

* * *

><p>"AAH!"<p>

"GEEEERMANYYYY!"

"BLOODY HELL!"

Several female nations ran over to Hungary and Ukraine's room. They were all freaking out and bashing on the door.

"Hungary! Hungary! Hungary!"

A messy_-_haired Hungary opened the door and glared. "What do you wa... Oh."

Half of the now-female nations were staring at Hungary with wide eyes. And by half I mean: Italy, Germany, Japan, England, America, Norway, Romano, and Korea.

"Ve! Hungary! We're bleeding and I don't remember getting hurt last night!"

Hungary face had a mixed between 'Please, don't let it be _that_', 'Aw crap', and 'Why me?'. "Uh... _where _are you bleeding from?"

They all looked down at their ruined nighties/pajama-shorts/pajama-pants.

"It's just PMS."

"... You mind explaining it to us, Hungary?"

"... None of you paid attention in health class when the doctors figured it out, did you?" Hungary deadpanned.

"Not even in the AU fics."

Hungary sighed. He had no idea how to start explaining. "Because... uh... it's needed for... uh... 'When a mommy and a daddy love each other very much...' Uh... does anybody know the next line?" Awkward silence. "You know what, just get in here."

One very awkward explanation of PMS later...

"... So _that's _why you were always cranky once a month." Italy said in amazement.

"I shall never disrespect women again."

"Do you understand now?" Hungary asked.

They all nodded.

Meanwhile in America...

"Phil, what the hell happened last night?"

"... I have no idea. I remember having a party in Fort Lauderdale ... now we're chicks."

"Guys! Guys! Guys!"

"What is it, Alan?" the two other girls asked.

"Since we're girls, can we go to Cocoa Beach?"

About 5 minutes later they were at Cocoa Beach. There was a huge sign that said 'Underwater, please wait 'til we fix it, tourists. Have a nice day~. :D'

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Back in England's house...

"PIIIIIIILLOOOOOOW WAAAAAAAAR!"

America built great forts made of... pillows. And England and America were the ones who fired at the other fort. Guess what they fired? That's right, ice cream.

Just kidding, they threw pillows.

England was using a Levitating Spell to launch pillows at the plain-white-sheet side. America was just chucking pillows at the lacy-pillow side.

After getting smacked in the face with Iggy's pillow, America threw the pillow straight at her.

England's eyes widened as the killer fluffy pillow of doom sped toward her. Then Japan dived in front of England.

"Englaaaaaaand-saaaaaaan!"

"Why are you going so slow?"

"It's for dramatic effe- oof!"

Japan got knocked back. She landed into Greece's arms... with her face in Greece's... yeah...

Japan blushed until she got a rocket-nosebleed. The nosebleed made her fall out of Greece's arms and onto the floor. Japan was blushing, twitching, and grinning.

"Ve~, Japan's bleeding from the wrong place."

"You stupid cat-bitch! You broke Japan!" Turkey rawred. "Japan! Speak to me!"

Japan still had a dazed grin on her face. "Tell... my fangirls... I love them..."

"It's worse than I thought! She's making Yugioh Abridged references! England! KICK AMERICA'S ASS!"

"With pleasure."

England held up her wand. It started glowing fiercely. Until something crashed through the window and nailed Iggy on the head.

"OW! SON OF A BI-" BOOM.

There was a bright light and all the nations were on the ground. The moment they woke up, they noticed what happened.

"DAMMIT! YOU STUPID-ASS TEA-BASTARD! YOU MADE THE TOMATO-BASTARD A GIRL!"

"What happened anyways?"

Spain picked up the offending object that pwned England. "... It's a baseball..."

England started to cuss out whoever dared crash a baseball through his window.

"Hey 'Rico! I figured out where the ball landed," said a voice outside. There was knocking on the door. "Hey! Inglaterra! Can I have my ball back?"

"Oh. It's just Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico."

Two of Spain's former colonies entered the room. One was a girl with curly dark-brown hair and a black necklace. The other was a boy about Iceland's age, had a strong resemblance to Spain, and a green parrot on his shoulder.

"Sorry 'bout the window." DR said. "We were playin' baseball in Puerto Plata and I got a home run..." She noticed the sad look on Puerto Rico's face. "What is it, 'Rico?"

"When the hell did Inglaterra get so many girls in his place?" Puerto Rico whispered/yelled.

"Fine. Go get 'em, tigre."

Puerto Rico strolled up to the Bad Touch Trio with a smirk on his face. "Hola~, would you like a free trip to Vieques?"

Spain started blushing. A lot. France and Prussia started smirking.

_Heh. Amateur_, they both thought.

America was about to laugh her ass off. "Hey... Puerto Rico..."

"Si~?"

"You're flirting with Spain, France, and Prussia, dude."

Puerto Rico's smirk was gone. "Que."

Spain waved awkwardly. "Hola~."

"QUEEEE? O_O"

Everyone but Puerto Rico started laughing their asses off. DR was clapping her hands as she laughed. America rofl-ing.

"SHUT THE HELL UP! IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

"Relax, kid." Prussia said proudly. "Same thing happened when I arrived."

"At least _they _didn't get-" Cue the yelling from Central Europe. "Dammit! Who now?"

**Me: I'm _so _sorry this took so long! School started and I tried making a little comic deviantart... I FAIL! DX  
><strong>

**Spain: You ran out of ideas again, right?**

**Me: Yup. T_T Which is why this is the period chapter, with a pillow fight, and Latino nations thrown in!**

**Spain: Request and review~!**


	16. Fanfics and beer

_Me: HI PEOPLES~! :D  
><em>

_America: Hai thar~! :D_

_Me: (Grabs a review-letter) ... I thought I mentioned New York on the crack map already. New York State is the forehead. If you mean NYC, that could be the brain._

_America: ... The brain?_

_Me: ...It's the only American city everyone remembers. (*rimshot*) As for what's happening to Florida in-story... it's sinking. That's why Cocoa Beach is underwater._

_Puerto Rico: Wait, even Miami?_

_Me: Especially Miami._

_DR, PR, and Cuba: NOOOOO! DX_

_America: My vital regions are SINKING and you're just worried about MIAMI? DX_

_DR, PR, and Cuba: OF COURSE!_

_Me: (Gets handed a paper) I can't read Russian! (Snaps fingers) Better. 'I heard you did a fandub of my sisters' song on Youtube. You know what that means. Kolkolkol.' O_O (Turns around to have Russia in my face) R-Russia!_

_Russia: 'Let us finally become one', da? ^J^_

_Me: (Starts freaking out) But I was just Ukraine! ;A; And I don't speak Russian!_

_Russia: (Pulls out pipe) You can learn._

_Me: O_O China! You take over! (Runs away)_

_China: Aiyah... Why me, aru? (Gets handed one of Bri's letters) ...Bri already saw HetaOni, aru. She just doesn't want to bring... uh... 'Steve' into this story. Not yet anyways, aru._

_Me: (Runs by) CHINA! NO SPOILERS!_

_China: (Sigh) Fine, aru. (Reads another letter) ... Thanks to a review from 'Siamese-Of-The-Stars', Bri got the idea for this chapter. And thanks to 'phatcaliforniadreamin', Bri seems to be set for the next 5 chapters, aru. Such a lazy writer, making the fans think of stuff for her, aru._

_Me: (Still running) I HEARD THAT! DX NOW TELL THEM ABOUT THE COVER!_

_China: ... Apparently Bri has drawn a cover page for 'It's a small world after all' and posted it on Deviantart, aru. (Her account is Bri-Nara, aru.) *cough*Icandrawbetteraru*cough* (Reads more letters) Italy, Canada, Japan, England, Switzerland... You've been requested. (Leads all of them to the Request-Catapult) FIRE, ARU YO!_

_BOOM_

_Italy: VE~! :D_

_China: (Reads another letter) 'The hell, aru? -.-_

_Me: (Escaped Russia) What?_

_China: Read this. (Hands over the letter.)_

_Me: 'Also you should genderbend Mousy-kun'... O.O (Looks at my little OC boy, Nezumi)_

_Nezumi: They remember me?_

_Me: It appears so. I drew the genderbend and posted that on deviantart too. (Snaps fingers and Nezumi is suddenly a girl with Chiyo-chan-ish pigtails)_

_Nezumi: (tugs a pigtail) Chi...? ._.  
><em>

_China: Bri does not own Hetalia, or any fanfics mentioned in this fanfic__._

* * *

><p>BANG. BANG. BANG. BLAM.<p>

England listened to the sound of her front door get kicked down _again._ In the door frame was Switzerland, holding onto his hand was Liechtenstein.

A male Liechtenstein.

Aw crap.

"What. Did. You. Do?" Switzerland spat.

"It was her fault!" England yelled as she shoved Dominican Republic forward.

DR gave Switzerland a confused look. "Who're you again?" (DR's geography is as bad as/worse than America's.)

Puerto Rico sighed. "Domi, that's Switzerland."

"The guy with the nice watches?"

"Yeah, Domi."

"HI~!" DR said with a smile.

Switzerland was still glaring at England. "You're the only one who messes up magic like this."

"Can't it be Norway's or Romania's fault for once?" England sighed.

Switzerland pulled out his gun. "No."

Switzerland felt someone pull his sleeve. It was Liechtenstein, looking up at her...his... big bruder with big sad eyes. "Don't hurt her, Bruder."

Several nations suddenly wanted to squee. Prussia, because it sorta reminded her of Germany before he grew up to be such a stick-in-the-mud. Spain, PR, and DR because they all thought he looked 'soooo cuuuute~! XD'. And of course, Switzerland, because the look was directed at him.

Must... not... think about... how damn cute he looks...

"Fine."

England sighed in relief.

A few hours later...

"What are you doing, Japan?"

"I'm reading a fanfiction, America-chan."

"...what's a fanfiction?"

"A piece of fiction within a fandom utilizing characters and situations from a pre-existing work."

"...Huh?"

"Fangirl write story."

"Oooh! Cool!" America looked up at the ceiling. "Hey, Bri! Mind if we shatter the fourth wall for a chapter so we can read some fics?"

Sure, why not? It was requested anyways. ^_^

"Does that include fics about us?" America started browsing.

...Yeah. Just be carefu-

"Look! Here's one with England and China! Guys! Check it out!"

"America-chan! L-Look at the summary first!"

"Most of these say 'FAIL SUMMARY', so I shouldn't bother! England! China! Look!"

One hour of reading a traumatizing fanfic later... It's not bad writing, just... not everyone's cup of tea...

China, England, and America stared blankly at the computer screen. They only read halfway through the first chapter and they were already a nasty shade of green. America and England had scooted far away from China by now.

America slapped a hand over her mouth and ran to the bathroom. "OH MY F_ING GOD! DX"

England felt dizzy. "Goddammit, I can never **_unread _**that! =_="

China couldn't even say anything. If you looked into his eyes, you would only see a Blue Screen Of Death.

America returned from the bathroom and pointed dramatically at China. "CHINA, YOU SICK F_!"

"America, none of... that... really happened."

"Oh." She turned her attention to the one in Tohru Honda cosplay. "JAPAN, YOU SICK F_!"

"I did not write that! The writer is American!"

"Oh. ME, YOU SICK F_!"

England facepalmed. "Let's go, America. We're going to need a lot of mind-soap to get rid of those mental pictures."

"And brain-bleach! Don't forget brain-bleach!"

Then Poland shoved China away from the computer so she could 'like, totally check out that My Little Pony fic~.' China would've fallen to the ground if it weren't for Japan, the boy in the Yuki Sohma cosplay (Taiwan), and the girl in the Kyo Sohma cosplay (Greece).

"China-nii?"

"Sensei, are you okay?"

China looked at them with blank eyes. "Am I really _that _much of a bastard, aru?" he deadpanned.

"Don't worry. You got a portion of what you deserved by chapter 12. By Russia's hand."

They looked over to the smiling nation behind them. "Hehe~."

Later in the living room...

There were 8 nations around the table. Russia had a bottle of vodka, Denmark had beer, Prussia had beer, DR had rum, Germany had moar beer, England had ale, Spain had wine, and France had wine.

"START!"

_Earlier..._

_"Who wants a beer?"_

_"You mean that weak yellow excuse for alcohol, da? No thanks."_

_"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU SAY?"_

_"You can't get drunk off that stuff, comrade."_

_"Well, not the German beer anyways."_

_"'THE HELL, DENMARK?"_

_"Nordic guy's right. But 'ron dominicano' is the best."_

_"No! Ale is!"_

_"Wine~!"_

_"West! Are you gonna let them diss our beer like that?"_

_"EVERYONE SHUT UP! We'll settle this in an orderly fashion!"_

Back to the present...

Contest was over. Russia won. Vodka was stronger.

But they were all still wasted.

"Hey~! HEY~! PRUSSIA~! THAT CLOUD LOOKS LIKE BORNHOLM~!" Denmark cheered as he leaned against the wall. "And that rock over there looks like Norge! And the moon looks like Sweden!"

"I'm~ too sexy for this fic~. Kolkol. Too sexy for this fic~." Stumbling around on her imaginary runway.

Spain, meanwhile, was surrounded by Chibi-Romanos. "Siii~! I like little kids-and-I-can-not-lie~! You other-brothers-can't-de-ny~! When their face goes red-like-a-tomato, you go Fusososososo~!"

Prussia was stumbling around and waving her arms like she was in space. "Hey! I can see my awesomeness from here!"

England was talking to her imaginary friends in a forest with purple leaves and tea-flavored rivers. Really.

"Mon dieu! How did we end up in Bangkok? We were supposed to be in Louisiana, dammit!"

"Bacano. Puedo _volar_." (Cool. I can _fly._)

Roman Empire randomly walked in with a bag full of groceries. He stared at the drunken nations and sweatdropped.

"What the hell?" Rome noticed Germany. "Weren't you a chibi the last time I saw you? ...And a guy?"

Germany giggled and hugged Rome's legs. "Ve~! Italy~!"

Rome raised an eyebrow and took Germany's beer.

**Me: Here's your new chappie, peoples~! :D (Fanfic thing was requested, someone wanted to see their reactions. Not meant to bash it.)**

**America: Finally~, a new chapter!**

**Me: Review~!  
><strong>


	17. Dashing through the snow

_Me: Hi peoples~!_

_China: (elbows Bri)_

_Me: Ok! Ok! I would like to apologize for last chapter (I mean any bad memories it may have brought back). ;,,; It was requested. If it is any compensation (this was also requested), I puked reading the first chapter of THAT fic, couldn't sleep for 3 days, and I couldn't look my stuffed panda in the eye for a week._

_China: (Hands letter) Moving on._

_Me: Yes, moving on. (Reads letter) O_O... The OC that I've had since 2008 (or, on the internet, 2009) is getting popular suddenly._

_Nezumi: What do you mean 'suddenly?' D:_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Denmark is still a guy. Spain isn't. (Reads moar letters) Switzerland... (evil grin) Teehee..._

_Switzerland: -_-"_

_Me: (Reads yet another letter) ...I'll try to keep this fic up for as long as I can (considering that my classes are easier now, it should be quite a while). But I should try to squeeze in the sequel before college. ;)_

_England: (Spit-take on his tea) ANOTHER ONE?_

_Me: Yeah. I have to do Nekotalia eventually~._

_England: JUST MAKE YOUR OWN BLOODY SERIES AND LET US REST! DX  
><em>

_Me: Due to the fact that I can't draw adults yet, can't create a not-mundane setting, can't make characters that don't either act like my different-haired clone or parody to the point of lawsuit, can't grasp the concept of this 'plot' thing, can't draw evil characters to save my life, can't draw noses, and the fact that fanfics don't have deadlines... That's not happening for a looooong time. :|._

_England:... Just finish reading the letters. =_=_

_Me: 'Kay~. (Reads another letter) China! Russia! Japan! Italy! Canada! Romania! Liechtenstein! Belarus! YOU'VE BEEN REQUESTED! (Stuffs them into the catapult and launches)_

_Canada: (Smacks right into the fourth wall) Maple... ;,;_

_Me: (Pulls out a card) Ok, apparently some places have holidays this time of the year. To China: 'I hope you enjoyed your moon-cakes.' To Germany and Prussia: 'Have fun at Oktoberfest.' Now let's get this party sta-_

_Nezumi: Bri-san._

_Me: What is it?_

_Nezumi: You have a special birthday request._

_Me: O_O BIRTHDAY? (Reads request and rethinks the ending of the chapter) IT'S BEEN AGES SINCE I'VE DONE A BIRTHDAY REQUEST! XD Happy Birthday, Yamato-chan! (Throws confetti)_

_China: Been on this site for 2 years and this is only your 3rd birthday request, not counting yours. -.-  
><em>

_Nezumi: Remember, Bri-san doesn't own Hetalia~. If she did... um... well that would be pretty weird, wouldn't it? ^^;_

_Note: I've never gone skiing... so the lodge/ski-place-thing is gonna be inaccurate.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"A trip to the Alps?"<p>

"Yeah! It would be cool!" America said.

"No it wouldn't!" Switzerland said. "It would mean _you guys _are in my house!"

"Look at the bright side, Big Bruder." Liechtenstein said.

"Which is?"

"We'll have to pay for it." Austria said.

"Who's paying for it?"

"..."

A huge argument over who was paying ensued. Several nations wanted to go Dutch, several more wanted to pay for it, and even more wanted China to pay for it. That was until Russia chuckled and held up a sack full of money.

"I'll pay for it, da?"

Everyone stared at the huge sack. "Where did you get that?" America asked.

Switzerland glared at Russia. "You stole that from _my _house, didn't you?"

"Da."

"Give it here." Switzerland snatched the bag.

Suddenly loud bachata music blared from DR's phone. DR ignored the 'Why the f_ is your phone so loud? -_-' glares as she answered the phone in an even louder voice.

"Deme lo~!"

"Domi! Where the _hell _are you?" said the voice on the other end._  
><em>

"WHAT THE _F_ _DO YOU WANT NOW, HAITI?" The cheerful demeanor DR usual had was gone. (Dominican-Haitian Relation= 'Those two roommates just waiting to kick each other out of the apartment/Those two contestants on a reality TV show dying to vote each other off the island.' ._. Sad but true.)

"Get over here and tell me where you put my extra bandages!" Haiti demanded.

"They're up your uptight a-"

"Do you _have _to swear in every sentence you say to me?"

"Do you _have _to act so damn conceited around me?"

Puerto Rico lead DR to the door. He looked at the other nations with a 'I'm sorry for this idiot's behavior' look that usually Norway or Romano would have.

"GO TO HELL!" DR yelled into the phone.

"I can't, because _you _will be there."

"MIRA! CONO!"

SLAM. The moment the door slammed, everyone looked at Spain and France. They were both facepalming.

"Wow. You two are, like, _such _great parents. You _totally _taught them that 'Sharing is caring.'"

"We know."

"... Why do they want to go to my house?" America and Norway asked.

Then _everyone _facepalmed.

Skip to the Swiss Alps...

"WHEEE! I feel so aliveeee~!"

"Canada! Wait up!"

All the (mostly) cold countries were having a blast, while all the warmer countries were trying to figure out what to do.

"I don't get this f_ing thing at all!"

"Relax, Romano~. Just copy the Nordics."

The Nordics were tearing up those slopes. Like, whenever Sweden ended up in the air, time would go into slow motion just to let her finish a trick and land.

"GYAAAAH! GERMANY! HEEEEEELP!"

There was Italy. Rolling down the hill in a giant snowball. Behind her was Germany attempting to stop it.

Soon every nation on the mountain got sucked up into the snowball.

"It's like a cartoon! :D" America said.

"DON'T SAY THAT WITH A SMILE ON YOUR FACE!"

"Ve~! Watch out for that tr-" SMACK.

Later...

All the nations were in the lodge. Everyone had a cup of hot chocolate, a fire was burning brightly, and everyone had a smile on their faces.

Perfect Christmas card until:

"*Hic*!"

"... What the hell was that?"

Italy hiccuped again. Then everyone with a big brother instinct sprung up with cures.

"Hold your breathe!" Germany said.

"Drink some water, aru!" China offered.

"Relax, it just means someone is remembering her, da~."

"Someone just scare her! It shouldn't be _too _hard."

"Kolkolkol..."

"AAH! ... *hic*"

"Dammit!"

"Hey, Angleterre? Can't you just magic it away?"

"It's not that simple!"

"I knew you were a sucky wizard but..."

England pulled out her wand. "Stand back." England muttering in an ancient language.

"...Dumbledora the ex-"

"*Hic*!"

"...Dumbledora the ex-"

"*Hic*!"

"DUMBLEDORA THE EX-"

"*Hic*!"

"LET ME FINISH THE SPELL, DAMMI-" BOOM.

There was a bright pink light.

"Ve! My hiccups are gone!"

Suddenly China and Denmark was on the floor.

"OH MEIN GOTT, YOU KILLED DENNY!"

"YOU BASTARD! D:"

"Aniki!" Korea, Taiwan, and Hong Kong went to China's side. "Are you ok, da-ze?"

"Yes, aru..." 'Just why does my voice sound funny?' China wanted to ask. But didn't.

"Glad to see you didn't genderbend anyone else." Norway deadpanned. "Just look at what you did to Denmark."

Denmark was running her hands through her no-longer-spiky hair. "Norge! It won't stay up! D:"

"Glad you're ok, Aniki!" Korea cheered as she groped China, much to the elder nation's discomfort. Then China noticed Korea's confused look. "...I don't remember those there, da-ze..."

"Ve~! But isn't China still a guy?"

China looked down, then sighed. "I just can't win, aru."

Later in the bathroom between Austria and Switzerland's room...

Austria was tired. It was late. And Austria left his glasses in the bathroom.

Austria entered the bathroom just as Switzerland was changing into PJ's. Switzerland's t-shirt was almost off and Austria almost saw a br-

"What the hell are you doing in here!" Switzerland whisper-yelled as the shirt quickly came back on.

"... When did England get you too?"

"... When Liechtenstein got affected. Didn't you notice?"

"No." Neither did anyone else.

"Don't mention walking in on me, and I won't tell anyone that I saw your hair messed up."

Austria quickly fixed up her hair in an attempt to look aristocratic. Switzerland smirked.

"Fine. Deal."

And now for a random requested moment with Sweden... :D

Sweden looked around.

She was alone. Finland went back to get her hat.

Sweden put on a pair of pink cat-ears and turned on her iPod. And then she started Caramelldansen.

Finland opened the door at that moment.

"Uh... I can 'xplain..."

Then Finland put on a pair of cat ears and started dancing too. Sweden looked shocked for a moment but then went back to dancing.

**Me: ... ^^" It was rushed, ok?**

**Everyone: We can tell.**

**America: (Looks up) What's with the 'hell' joke?**

**Me: I found out there's a Hell, Michigan. XD**

**America: That. Is. AWESOME! XD**

**Everyone: (Sweatdrop)**

**America: Review! :D**


	18. Games, Stories, and Power Out

_Me: (Walks in) HIIII PEOPLES~! :D (Hyper because of new special episode that came out)  
><em>

_Germany: (Gives Bri a crap-ton of letters while still wearing lederhosen)_

_Me: O_o (Takes the letters) How was your sparkle party, Germany? -w-_

_Germany and Austria: Fine. -_-_

_Prussia: AND AWESOME! XD_

_Me: (Reads a few letters) Boring, Oregon? XD Joy, Michigan? Is it close to Hell? XD All these are hilarious names for towns._

_Hungary: But nothing's better than F_ing Austria. X3_

_Me: You forgot the comma. XD_

_Hungary: Oops. ^^;_

_Me: (Reads several letter) China looks like Fem!China at the moment. Nobody noticed the change but Korea cuz a) most of the people there are taller than China anyways so nobody noticed the change in height, b) China's sorta flat (*shot*) so only Korea noticed, c) Rule of Funny._

_China: -_- ...aru._

_Me: (Reads another letter) I already got Austria! XD Let me put this bluntly: Most of Europe (minus those countries with no official character yet, Romania, Belgium, Netherlands, and the Baltics), East Asia, and the North America bros have been genderbent. About 29 gender-bent characters. ._. Damn, I need to write this down.  
><em>

_America: ... O_O Damn._

_Me: (Reads another letter) Crap... I picked a bad time for Haiti to order Domi back. ._. Get back in the boat, Nidia.  
><em>

_DR: DAMMIT! DX_

_Me: (Reads more letters) Romania! Canada! China! Romano! Sweden! Germany! Greece! Turkey! Russia! Austria! Prussia! TO THE CATAPULT! (Flings them over the Fourth Wall)_

_Nezumi: (Tugs at Bri-san's sleeve and holds up two letters)_

_Me: (Takes a letter) ... I forgot I made a Tv Tropes page for this. ._. I should edit that later..._

_Nezumi: The other letter, Bri-san. ^^;_

_Me: ... You, sir, have a loyal fangirl. And since I'm a pushover for requests (I even made a list of requests), Mousy-kun will make a (brief) cameo. -.-_

_DR: Bri doesn't own Hetalia. If she did... (*shudders*)_

_Note/Warning: To the person who requested ghost stories, I've never heard or told a ghost story. ._. So Russia just going to recount HetaOni, 'kay?  
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* * *

><p>29 nations. Four controllers. One Wii system.<p>

This was gonna be the best Super Smash Bros Tournament ever.

"Alright," England said, "there are 35 characters and... One, two, three... Plenty of us!" England crossed her arms. "Each of you pick your own characters so this doesn't get too confusing!"

"Hahaha!" America laughed. "I call dibs on Mario!"

"Why, America-san?"

"Cuz he's the hero! Duh!"

"Alright then," England said. "I'll use Link."

"You just wanna see the fairy thing, right?"

"...No..."

"I _know _you did not pick the f_ing Jigglypuff, Veneziano!"

"Ve~! But Fratello, you pick Kirby!"

"That's different, dumb-ass! Speaking of dumb-asses... Spain_, _why the _hell _would you pick Diddy Kong?_"_

"He has nice bananas~!" Spain replied.

To make a long list short, here's the general basis of who everyone picked. Canada selecting the 'random' option and ended up with Luigi somehow_. _Switzerland picked Snake, of course. Japan picked Pikachu right away. Liechtenstein picked Peach. Can you see the pattern here? No? Ah well.

Match 1: Pit (Greece) vs Meta Knight (Turkey). Fight.

"GIVE UP! YOU SUCK AT THIS GAME, CAT-BITCH!"

"No... You suck."

"You suck!"

"Your face sucks."

"YOUR GREEK GODS SUCK!"

(Meanwhile on Olympus...

"CAN'T I JUST GO DOWN THERE AND KICK HIS ASS?" Zeus rawred.

"NO, ZEUS! WE HAVE GUESTS!" Hestia scolded.

"But it's just Rome!"

Then there was a crash as a scared Rome, a pissed-off-yet-deadpan Germania, and the rest of the Greek gods ran into the room.

"I leave you alone with the gods for **5 minutes **and you piss them off enough to turn **both of us **into girls."

"I'm sorry! I'll never grope Venus again!"

"Okay, first: my name is Aphrodite. Second: I didn't mind. Third: I don't gender-bend."

"It was probably that British guy then. We'll change you back after this fight."

"Fight? WHERE?" Ares ran up to the giant Earth-seeing basin. "Aw. It's just a video-game. But the kid's using Pit, so he has a chance."

"How would know, Ares? You suck at video games. You only button-mash."

"WHAT WAS THAT, ZEUS? THAT'S IT! YOU! ME! PERCY'S PLAYSTATION! NOW!"

"Rome, do something to calm them down."

"I WANT TO FIGHT THE WINNER!"

Germania facepalmed. "Dumb-ass...")

Later...

The tournament was ending. It was the last match of the semi-finals. It was Pikachu vs Ness. The match was nearly over. And the winner would have to face America.

"Winning originated in Korea, so I'm gonna win, da-ze!" Korea cheered as she nearly hit Pikachu with her bat.

"I refuse to lose!" Japan replied as she used Thunder on Ness.

Five! Four! Three! Two!

Their attacks were about to collide.

One!

Bzzzt.

"NOOOOOO!"

"THE POWER!"

"WE MUST HAVE BLOWN A FUSE!"

"FFFFFFF-"

After everyone finished freaking out, lit a few candles, and it started raining outside, they decided to tell each other 'scary' stories.

"One time... I saw Russia when he was mad... Oh god..."

"That _is _bad. Once I ate one of England's un-awesome scones!"

"I remember that! That's so horrible!"

"Not as bad as that thing Romania did for Halloween..."

"Oh gosh!"

Then Russia stood up. The lightning outside the window flashing behind her.

"These are not scary stories, da? This is just reminiscing. Let me tell you a _real _story."

The room fell silent.

"There once was a mansion up in a mountain. Nobody lived there. Nobody really knew anything about the place, until a boy heard about it. He dragged his friends into the mansion, having no idea what was inside." Russia smiled. "The moment that they entered, the door locked behind them. They couldn't get out~. That's when they split up to explore. One of the boys ended up in the library. But he felt like he was being watched, because he heard noises behind him."

That's when there came a banging on the front door. Everyone but Russia flinched. Russia just continued the story.

"'I have to get out of here', he thought. 'There's someone... no... some_thing_ in here with me.' He tried hiding behind bookshelves, but he couldn't see what was following him. He only heard it. Getting closer. And closer..."

The banging at the door grew louder.

"The boy decided to sprint for the door." Russia's smile grew wider. "Sadly for him, the door wouldn't open. And he chose to turn around. He was face-to-face with..."

BLAM! The front door fell to the floor. Standing in the doorway was a dark figure in stark contrast to the lightning behind it.

"...a monster."

The figure in the doorway walked into the house. Even if they couldn't see the figure's face, they could still feel the killing intent directed towards them.

"OH S_! O-OH S_! WE'RE GONNA DIEEE!"

"GERMANYYY!"

"ANGLETERRE!"

The figure was standing before England. Arm raised to strike.

Bzzt.

The lights turned on. Everyone had to wait until their eyes adjusted to see England getting the crap beat out of her by a pissed off Hispanic male with a rubber sandal.

"MALDITO MAGO! YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO _AIM_ THAT DAMN MAGIC OF YOURS! FOH-KING CONAZO!" the heavily-accented voice shouted.

"... Why is Puerto Rico beating up England?" America asked.

The Hispanic stopped hitting England and walked up to America. "Do I _look _like Puerto Rico?"

America examined. No difference except for a haircurl. "Yes." SMACK. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I'm Dominican Republic, idiota! Puerto Rico's over there!"

Yup. Standing in the doorway was a girl, with curly-ass dark hair, facepalming at Domi's antics.

"By the way, England..." Domi said as she... he... they looked over at England. "I saw Holland on the way here. He looked pissed. And some other blonde guy was following him."

"Blonde guy...?"

"Yeah. Sorta looked like Belgium."

"S_."

Then two pairs of hands were lifting England up by the shirt. One pair belonged to Romano. The other belonged to Netherlands, who magically appeared into the house while the door was still down.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?"

"ANOTHER F_ING GIRL, TEA-BASTARD! ANOTHER ONE!"

Meanwhile, Belgium was outside, giving the boy who gave them directions to England's house some chocolate. (There's your cameo.)

**Me: (Checks off 6 requests from the list) Crappy chappie ish still crappy.  
><strong>

**England: Why am I the butt of the joke for this chapter? =_=**

**Me: Because it's your magic.**

**England: (Looks up at the scary story part) Just what the hell was _that_?**

**Me: Me practicing how to write a creepy story ^^; (For a Halloween fanfic I'm gonna do with Romania later). How'd I do?**

**England: ...**

**Me: Anyways, (waves to the audience) review, my peoples~! ^_^**


	19. Pageant, Party, and Ponies

_Me: (Waves to teh peoples) HI PEOPLES~!_

_Puerto Rico: (Hands the review letters)_

_Me: (Read a couple of letters) ... Yeah, Russia telling HetaOni (from my horrible memory) was just a little... experiment. I'm making this year's Halloween special a multi-chapter comedy/horror fic with Romania. YES. **ME. **WRITING A **HORROR FIC. YOUR MINDS HAVE OFFICIALLY BEEN BLOWN. **^^" jk, it's just creepy by my standards but probably not enough to be considered a horror.  
><em>

_Nezumi: Did you say **multi**-chapter Halloween special?_

_Me: ... Yes... ^^;_

_Nezumi: Bri-san! Remember the Obito Incident! -_-_

_Me: Ah yes, my old shame T_T... I'm gonna post the story through-out the month of October! I wrote the first chapter months ago! And I actually thought of an ending this time! Is that okay, Mr. OC-Who-Remembers-The-Old-Days-Of-2009?  
><em>

_Nezumi: ...So long as you thought of an ending this time. -_-_

_Me: (Reads another letter) ... One drunken party with more than just the Caribbean coming right up. (Snaps fingers) For the record, I only have some of Hispanic nations' OCs thought up. ._. Some I have have the personalities for, but no appearance without ripping off someone else's OC (Argentina, Chile). Some have appearances but no personality (Peru, Uruguay, Columbia, Venezuela). Some I feel I'll get yelled at for inaccuracy (Mexico, Philippines). And some I just have no freakin' idea about (Central America, Bolivia, Ecuador, Paraguay, etc). Lo siento, gente esperando por ellos. (That was NOT from Google Translator this time. That was MY OWN sucky Spanish!)  
><em>

_Spain, DR, and PR: (Eyetwitch) (At least say it right. ^^;)_

_Me: (Reads another letter) ... Pffft. XD (Rolls onto the floor laughing) HAHAHAHAHAHA! XD OH GOD! JUST **WOW!**  
><em>

_England: (Raises an eyebrow) What on Earth is so funny?_

_Me: (Points at the letter) Someone actually called me **orderly**! XD That is the **first **time I actually heard someone call me that! Someone as spacey and random as I am! Orderly! HA! XD (Wipes away tears of laughter) Hun, there's a fine line between being orderly and being forgetful as hell. I made a request list because there's so freakin' many that I forget some. Right now there's 9 plot-related requests (if I add the 6 that I checked off last chapter, there's 15 right there.)_

_Poland: (eagerly hands Bri another letter)_

_Me: ... I take it that this is your idea. ._._

_Poland: (Puppy-eyes)  
><em>

_Me: Fine. (Researches My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic while little brother isn't looking)_

_Everyone but Poland: *coughpushovercough* Who said that?_

_Me: (Glares at everyone before reading the character request letters) Canada! Spain! Japan! Italy! Domi! 'Rico! Iggy! (Launches them through the request-catapult)  
><em>

_Me: (Reads the next letter) ... O_O HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP! I think phatcaliforniadreamin has found a way to mind-read over the Internet! Either that or I'm just that predictable. I'm going for the first option! *Ahem* Yes, the San Andreas fault is the butt-crack of the US crack-map. Actually it's one of the two main reasons why California's the ass. And... that was exactly what I was gonna name the sequel. ._. If you HAVE read my mind, I apologize for any mental scarring or over-exposure to flashy unfinished thoughts/OCs you may have experienced._

_Poland: Bri, like, totally doesn't own Hetalia. Cuz if she did, like, everything would be covered in neon._

* * *

><p>"How the bloody hell did you convince us to do this, Frog?"<p>

"Ohonhon~. Don't resist, you know you _love _it."

"Now~! Let's welcome the contestants of the first ever: MISS GENDER-BEND PAGEANT!"

The (extremely embarrassed) fem-nations walked across the stage in their flashy dresses. At the judges table was Ukraine, Netherlands, DR, and Hungary.

Out in the audience was Belarus holding a 'Mother Russ ftw' sign, Taiwan giving her...his siblings thumbs up, Liechtenstein smiling at Switzerland, and Roman Empire (who appeared out of freakin' nowhere) was trying to look up everyone's skirts. He immediately got pwned by Hungary's frying pan of doom.

"It's time for the talent competition!"

"OH GOD, WHY? DX"

After a bunch of performances (singing from America, pole dance from France and Poland, 'Mein Gott' from Prussia, etc.) it was Japan's turn.

Japan walked out in a pink dress, in her hands was a star-staff and a card.

"She wouldn't..."

Apparently Japan had the Fly card, because she was soaring around theater/auditorium/beauty-pageant-place on the staff.

"She would."

The judges held up their cards. Ukraine's had a ten. Netherlands, who was having a severe Lolita-overload-induced nosebleed, held up 'Over 9000'. DR held up a ten. And Hungary held up a 'KYAAAAAA! AWESOME COSPLAY, JAPAN! XD'

Netherlands stood up, nose still bleeding. "Japan wins. Forever. No arguments."

Hungary shrugged. "I can live with that."

America shouted "I DEMAND A VOTE!"

"You can't solve all your problems by voting, America!" England scolded.

Greece walked up to Japan. She gave her Coporal Cat and a wreath-crown.

"I say we celebrate, da-ze!"

Everyone stared at Korea. "Why?"

"Because that act originated in Kore-" SMACK.

An hour later...

There was a party in England's place and to be blunt:

It was madness.

"Look, England!"

"America? How the bloody hell did you get on the ceiling?"

"Spidey-powers!"

"HONG KONG! NO FIREWORKS INDOORS, ARU!"

"Oh no! Sensei spotted us! Let it rip, Hong Kong!"

"Put the match down, aru!"

"FIRE!" BOOM.

"OH SH-!" BLAM.

Then the front door got kicked open and all of Spain's former colonies stormed in.

"GET THE PARTY STARTED, BECAUSE ARGENTINA HAS ARRIVED~!"

"Weon, we're late. You just _had _to look at yourself in the mirror for half an hour."

"Che, how would _you _know, Flaco?"

"I told you to stop calling me that!"

England glared at Spain and Dominican Republic. "Who invited all of _them_?"

"Well..." Spain said with a sweatdrop. "Domi and Puerto Rico invited Cuba... who invited Mexico... who invited Argentina... who invited everyone else."

"They are going to make a mess of my house!"

"No they won't."

"Mexico brought chips and salsa!"

"F_ YEAH!"

"... I'll get the mop."

Meanwhile in another room...

"Let's play Russian Roulette, da?" Russia suggested.

"No." everyone deadpanned.

"Come on, please?"

"No."

"Can we at least play with beer cans and not guns?"

"...Fine."

Japan shook one of the cans and switched them about with her epic ninja skills. America grabbed the first can.

"You have to point it at your face." Ivan said.

America glared at Russia then opened the can of beer.

Pop! ...

"It's safe!" And America chugged it. "Your turn."

Russia swiftly opened a can and chugged it. "China's turn."

China sighed and grabbed a can.

Pop! SPLASH!

"AIYAH!"

China was soaked in beer. And the wet clothes stuck to China's body.

"OMG."

"Since when did China have curves?"

"Da-yum."

"I knew China was a girl! You owe me five dollars, France!"

"AIYAH! IT WAS JUST BECAUSE OF ENGLAND'S STUPID SPELL, ARU!"

Meanwhile at the front door...

Netherlands opened the door.

There was a trembling Lithuania and a confused looking Romania.

"Isn't this England's house?"

"Yes."

"... Okay then."

Romania gestured to Lithuania. "He's looking for Poland. We check at Hungary's house but he's not there."

"I think Poland is-"

Netherlands got cut off by an argument happening inside.

"Twilight Sparkle!"

"Rainbow Dash!"

"Like, Fluttershy!"

"Twilight Sparkle is cuter!"

"No! Fluttershy is totally cuter!"

Lithuania and Romania stared at Hungary, Taiwan, and Poland argue over My Little Pony.

Poland noticed them first and waved. "Like, hi Liet!"

Lithuania's eyes widened. "Poland... why are you a _girl_?"

Romania and Taiwan gave him a look that said 'How the hell can you tell? O_O'

"It's, like, England's fault. Now Liiiiiet! Tell Taiwan and Hungary that Fluttershy is cuter!"

Romania raised an eyebrow. "Hungary?" He glanced at the Hungarian stud with a low ponytail. Romania smirked.

Hungary glared. "Don't you dare-"

"Hahahahahahaha~! XD Aha-hahahahahahahaha-" PWNED WITH A FRYING PAN.

Meanwhile in another room...

KABOOM.

"THE STEREO! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?" England yelled at the Latino nations.

"Uh..." They looked at each other.

"Che," Argentina began, "I said we should put some tango music on. But then Colombia said she wanted salsa." Argentina was talking a mile-a-minute. "And, este como es?, Cuba was all 'No, man! I want mambo!'. Dominican Republic wanted meringue so she took control of the CD player. But Venezuela told her to let the other people pick. And Mexico started singing some random-ass Mariachi song. And then he-"

Mexico put a hand over Argentina's mouth. "Aqui no paso nada. ^_^" He looked at the other Latin nations. "Let's go (before England makes us clean up this mess)."

"Hey! Wait-!"

Most of the Hispanic nations managed to escape by then. So England just grabbed the 3 genderbent ones.

"Dammit. He got us."

England glared and handed them brooms. "Clean it up."

"Si, Inglaterra. T_T"

**Me: (Checks off everything but 2 things on the request list) Phew. ^^;**

**Estonia: Remember what I said in chapter 5?**

**Me: I dunno... something about reviews...**

**Estonia: 'You should get more reviews than the prequel to this by chapter 21'. I lied. You're already about 23 reviews away from getting more than the prequel.**

**Me: O_O HUH? ALREADY? IT'S ONLY CHAPTER 19! (Has a spaz attack) R-Re-re-re- :D**

**Estonia: I think she's trying to say 'Request and review'.**

**Me: What he said! :D  
><strong>


	20. Fun at Sealand! I mean, Seaworld!

_Me: (Runs in) Hi peoples~!_

_Japan: (Hands over letters) Here you go, Nara-chan._

_Me: Thanks, Japan. (Reads a letter) 'How many lives does England's front door have? !' ... (Fist-pump) OVER NINE THOUSAND! (*shot*) ...Okay, no. Let's paint the door orange and call it Kenny, shall we? XD_

_America: F_ YEAH!_

_Me: (Reads another letter) ...Someone wants to prepare for the next fic, da? XD Don't worry, there is a LOT more things you can do with kitties~._

_England: ... I have a bad feeling about this. ._._

_Me: (Reads another letter) YAY! ALMOST MORE REVIEWS FOR THE PREQUEL~! NEW PERSONAL RECORD~! :D (Reads yet another letter) Uh... no Halloween specials. Mostly because I have no idea when this story takes place. :S (btw, I said my MIND was mentally scaring. ^^;)  
><em>

_England: I was wondering where my calendar went._

_France: You mean this one? (Holds up a paper)_

_England: THAT'S A MARRIAGE REGISTRATION FORM, YOU IDIOT! DX_

_France: (wink)_

_Me: O...k... btw, peoples who I know are editing the tv tropes page, I left the Crowning Moment of Funny page alone for a reason. ._. Y'all can add to that if you want.  
><em>

_Japan: Nara-chan doesn't own Hetalia. Or Seaworld (though she's been there enough to be able to write about the place)._

* * *

><p>"Ugh..." Germany lifted her head from the table she was sitting at. "What did I do last night...?"<p>

"Ve! Germany!"

Germany turned to see Italy walked towards her. In a banana costume (that somehow revealed Italy's legs). Germany blushed at how cute she looked.

"I'm a banana~!"

Germany head-desked. "Yes, Italy..." Seriously, what the _hell _did I do last night?

It was around that time that everyone else started waking up.

"Oh god my head..."

"I hate hangovers."

Puerto Rico got up to her feet and grinned. "I'm surrounded by GIRLS. SWEET. :D It's Raining Women~! Hallelujah! It's Raining Women~! Wo-men!"

And Domi got up with a killer headache.

"Hey... Did I do something stupid last night?"

The other nations glanced at each other.

"Uh..."

_Flashback..._

_"He still drunk...?"_

_"Looks like it..."_

_Yeah, Domi was still drunk off his ass cuz he grabbed Japan. And started singing and dancing to 'Bachata en Fukuoka'. (A Dominican Bachata song about dancing on Fukuoka beach in Japan by Juan Luis Guerra. I had a bit of an 'A-ha' moment when I was listening to this recently, like, 'Holy crap! I JUST REALIZED THAT THIS IS SHIPPING JAPAN AND DR! O_O')_

_Then Korea, America, England, China, Greece, and Turkey smacked Domi upside the head._

_"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH JAPAN!"_

_End Flashback..._

"Yes."

Norway started handing out coffees, just as America turned the TV on.

"...And in other news, Florida is now almost completely submerged underwater..."

And suddenly there was coffee spilled everywhere.

"WHAT?"

"...The residents have already evacuated or escaped to Seaworld, which appears to be the only part of Florida left..."

America got up and out the door.

"You're still in your pajamas," the entire room deadpanned.

"I knew that!" America marched back inside in her Spider-man PJs and went upstairs.

Cut to Seaworld...

"Why are we here, America?"

"Because I wanna know... WHY THE HELL THIS IS THE ONLY PARK NOT SINKING? IF _ONE _PARK COULD HAVE SURVIVED, WHY COULDN'T IT BE DISNEYWORLD? OR ISLANDS OF ADVENTURE? OR HARRY POTTER LAND? OR BUSCH GARDEN? OR WET 'N' WILD? OR EVEN AQUATICA? WHY THE HELL DID I HAVE TO BE FREAKIN' SEAWORLD?"

Her answer came running towards her in a sailor outfit. "Welcome to Seaworld, desu yo! I'm the one who conquered this park, Sealand, desu yo!"

Everyone saw America give Sealand a look that said 'You're kidding, right?'

"Really! I have the deed!" Sealand pulled out the piece of paper.

"Give me that!"

"No! You might tell America on me!"

"I _am _America."

"... Cool! Did Jerk-England do this? Can you teach me that trick?"

"Ahem." America held out a hand, expecting the deed to Seaworld.

"...You see what happened was..." Then Sealand ran like the wind.

"GET BACK HERE!" And America chased after him.

"..."

"Anyone want to look around?"

"Sure."

Meanwhile at the Manta coaster...

"Come on, Norge!"

"Why did you drag us onto this?"

Denmark practically ran through the hallway to the ride while Norway, Sweden, and Finland trailed behind. Denmark insisted that they go on the roller-coasters in the park, so they were going on the Manta first.

So long as there were no loops, Denmark would be fine.

"Front seats!"

Since the ride was 4 to a row, they could all sit together. Finland took Sweden's glasses to the metal loose-items-basket.

"Wouldn't want to lose these. ^_^"

"Hm. Th'nks."

When all the workers made sure the restraints/safety things were secure, the seats were raised. Into a position where the nations were still seated, but the only thing separating them from the metal ground they faced was the restraints.

"What the...?"

"Holy crap. :D"

Then it started moving forward. It was getting to the rise and they could see the ground.

"I can see Ice and Hong Kong!"

"They're taking pictures."

Then the ride was getting ready to go forward.

WOOSH!

"AAAAAAAH! :D"

"F_ YEEEEEEEEAH! XD"

"O_O"

"Aaaaaaaaaah. -.- "

"WAIT! IS THIS GOING UP? O_O OH MY GOD! DX IT'S A LOOP! I'M GONNA DIE! IS THIS SAFE? I HATE YOU GUYS! WHY'D YOU DRAG ME ON THIS THING? OH MY GOD!"

By the time the Nordics got out, Denmark was freaking out, Finland was laughing and breathing 'Let's go again', Sweden was shaking, and Norway was the same.

"Denmark, wanna go again?"

"No! Why didn't you tell me it had loops, Norge? DX"

"You didn't ask."

Meanwhile at the Atlantica ride...

Romano was behind the Bad Touch Trio in the line. She was getting pretty pissed off by their chatting and the stupid mime on the TV screen showing them what to do on the ride.

"Romano," Spain said cheerily, "do you want to sit in the front with me?"

"Fine, whatever."

Spain and Romano got in the front of the small boat.

Romano wasn't paying much attention to the ride. All she knew was that there were colors, then green, then dramatic music, then sunlight, then the rise.

"F_."

"Que?"

"This ride has water. And we're in the front. Aw sh-" WOOSH! SPLASH!

"Ha! The awesome me didn't get wet! XD"

"MY F_ING SHIRT! DX"

"It's ok, Romano~. ^_^"

By the time they got out, Spain and Romano were soaking wet. And their clothes was sticking to their skin. Especially to Spain's-

"Ohonhonhonhon~! I'm so glad that you went in front of us, mon amie."

"Ja! Just look..."

Romano glared daggers into Prussia in a way that clearly said 'Dat ass is _mine, _bastard'.

"...at how dry the awesome me is!"

By the time they got back to England's house...

...America couldn't get the deed to Seaworld back. Sealand managed to escape in the Sea Lion stage.

England sighed. Why were her younger siblings so...? What's the word?

Troublesome?

Obnoxious?

Annoying? Sure, that fits.

Anyways, England was going to the bathroom. But France was in there.

"Hurry up, Frog! I need to get a towel for the other bathroom!"

"Come in~! It's open~. I'm just doing my makeup."

England raised an eyebrow as she walked in. Indeed, the Frenchwoman was only putting on makeup.

"What _are _you doing with that?"

"I'm making beauty more beautiful. You could use a touch-up yourself, Angleterre." France held out the mascara wand like she was going to use it on England.

England pouted and snatched the wand. "I can do it myself!" Poke. "Oh bollocks! My eye! DX"

France tsked and shook her head. "Try a bit of lipstick, at least."

England tried smearing the pink stick over her lips. And failed.

"... I think blush will be enough."

England got blush everywhere.

"Mon dieu! You have _no _idea how to put on makeup!" France wiped off England's face. "_I _will have to put it on for you."

France forced England into a chair. A pulled out the mascara wand.

"Now, keep your eyes and mouth open a bit."

"Why my mouth?"

"Je ne sais pas. Just do it."

**America: Why Seaworld?**

**Me: I needed an excuse to throw Sealand in when there's no official genderbend yet.**

**America: Okay.**

**Me and America: Request and review~!  
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	21. World Dancing

_Me: Hi peoples~! :D (Sorry I haven't updated my fics in a while, I had a play to do and then a cruise on Halloween weekend, then Hetaween ate whatever was left of my sanity)_

_France: (*Hands over review letters*)_

_Me: We finally have more reviews than the prequel! HELL YEAH! XD (*Toasts with candy*)_

_Japan: (*Pops open those party-hat-looking-things-full-of-confetti*)  
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_Me: (*Reads first couple of letters*) ...What are were you thinking when France asked England to keep her mouth open? O_o I was just pointing out the fact that girls ALWAYS have their mouths hanging open when applying mascara. What were you expecting? Fem!FrUk make-out session?  
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_France: -.- Darn._

_Me: btw, guest cameo. Take it away, Aniki!_

_MLIA-Anime (Aniki): (*falls on rope on the way in*) Who put that there? Oh hi audience! Thanks for viewing my sensei's story. I'm her (self-proclaimed) secretary, also known as Aniki. _

_ England: You're not gonna be in this...story, are you?_

_ MLIA-Anime: Not unless Bri runs out of characters and ideas. I would totally do makeovers with Poland! Anyway I'm here to address a recurring issue. What happens to the other vital regions? Well, if my studies are correct Mt. Fuji will flatten down and eventually sink into a canyon._

_ Japan: N-nande?_ _O_o_

_ MLIA-Anime: Big Ben will end up as a cuckoo clock that France will mistake as Germany's debt. And, the Eiffel tower will end up as a bobby pin picked up by Poland. _

_ England: Don't you have homework?_

_ MLIA-Anime: Oh yeah! (*runs*) Bye peoples~ (*trips*)_

_Me: (We mutually agreed on the vital regions thing). Don't worry. ^^" We already invaded the fic and I'm trying to break the habit of inserting me and my friends into the plot. (Besides there are over 200 countries, that I really should research_, _we can't run out of characters THAT quickly.)_

_Poland: (*Quickly removes bobby pin from hair and throws it at France*)_

_France: ...I'm keeping that cuckoo clock. Forever. In my room. So I can m-_

_Me: Bad France! No! There are kids present! (*Looks at the audience then reads another letter*) ... Uh... Shamu make a cameo? ...Sure, I guess? (Shamu sorta lost his rep over here ._.)_

_Sealand: What? :D_

_Me: Nothing! ^^; (*Reads a few more letters*) I threw in Denmark having a fear of loops just for the heck of it. XD (His reaction is based off what my horror-loving/never-scared cousin's reaction to the Manta.)_

_Denmark: Why are do ALL the coasters in Florida have BIG-ASS LOOPS? DX_

_Me: She's trying to compensate for being flat. XD Be grateful I didn't put you on the Krakken. That thing has 6 loops, I think. I dunno. I lost count after 6._

_Denmark: O_O_

_Me: (*Reads another letter*) ... I forgot who requested they go to an amusement park. ._. (*Digs through over 400 reviews*) ._. I... can't... find it! (Though reading through all the reviews again, I found the really funny ones that I like. XD)_

_Me: (*Reads another letter*) YES! STATE FAIR! HELLZ YES! XD (*Tries to bring up memories of the last fair I went to when I was 8*)_

_America: (*Tears of pride*) State fairs... F_ yeah... ;D_

_Me: (*Reads another letter*) Ah, Mexico... Don't worry, Mex will be in this again after I make a good personality.  
><em>

_Denmark: Bri doesn't own Hetalia. If she did, so many headcanons would come true._

_Me: By the way... Since I was at the Hetaween event, I must insert a speech/rant here..._

_(*Insert sappy/dramatic music here*)_

_Me: After years of being in the fandom world... the Hetaween event made me realize something. This is one of the best fandoms ever, if not THE best. Sitting through that event, I saw a fandom that was **united **and positive and like a family. In other fandoms I've been in (Reborn, Death Note, but mostly Naruto) I see shipping wars, and taking sides on who's better, and people flaming each other. Not this one. The event may have ended while I was still at school, but I could still feel the hype from it!  
><em>

_Romano: Can we move on to the damn story already? -_-_

_Me: Fine. -.- Meanie._

_Warning: This chapter has a LOT of Ship Tease (What do you expect? It's a BALL. They need dance partners!). Which means I'll be teasing y'all with pairings. Just because it's thrown in here, does NOT mean I ship it. I'm not going to make this a romance fic. (*Hides before shippers try to brick me for not putting their favorite pairing in here*)  
><em>

* * *

><p>America was still groaning to herself about how Sealand got away.<p>

"Stupid Sealand... Running through the Sea Lion show... Then escaping on Shamu's back... Cheater..."

There was a crash upstairs. "I'm not putting on the dress! That's final!"

"Come on, Angleterre. I put the make up on, I'm just going all out!"

"BUT A BALLGOWN?"

"OUI!"

Then there was a crash closer to the staircase. America got up and at the bottom of the stairs just in time to catch a girl in a blue dress.

"A-America!" England gasped from America's arms.

England was wearing make up, a cerulean blue dress, and had her hair down instead of pigtails. Her (fake) glasses looked like they were about to fall off and she was blushing a deep red that could compete with Romano. In short, England looked absolutely adorable.

"Why are you staring at me like that, git?"

"You look funny in a dress." SMACK.

France looked from America to England. Then grinned.

"HUNGARY! GET THE DRESSES! WE'RE HAVING A BALL~!"

"WE'RE HAVING A BLOODY _WHAT_?"

"France! No! I haven't been to a ball since... the 19th century! O_O"

Too late. Hungary stormed downstairs with dozens of dresses. He grabbed America by the wrist and dragged her upstairs.

"This can't end well..."

About an hour later...

Everyone was in a ball gown (well, all the girls).

"Everyone find a partner~!"

The nations were scrambling around, looking for a decent partner.

"I want Japan!"

"No... I want Japan."

"Turkey-san. Greece-san. Please stop fighting over me."

"Yeah! I want to dance with Japan!"

"Not you too, Taiwan-san..."

Then Belarus crashed into someone.

"Belarus?" Denmark asked as she looked at nation that nearly knocked her over. "Russia's over there."

"Thanks." And Belarus ran off to become one with- I mean, dance with Russia.

"Birdie~! Kesesesesese~!" Prussia grabbed Canada from behind.

"Eep! Prussia! What are you doing?"

"Hungary's being an ass and won't let me near her...him... and the aristocrat!" Prussia point at the red spot on her cheek as proof. "But you're awesome (you and your maple syrup), so you'll let me dance with you, right?"

"A-Alright..."

Meanwhile on the other side of the room, America was dancing with England. America was leading, and it was a disaster.

"Ow! Stop stepping on my toes!"

"I will stop stepping on them when _you _learn how to dance properly!"

America pouted. "Well, I haven't danced like this since the Antebellum period!"

"That's no excuse."

"Meanie."

"It's time to switch partners!"

England immediately got kidnapped by France. England started shouting "Don't take someone when they're dancing, you bloody wanker!" but France just laughed.

"Oh America~."

America turned around to see a smiling Russia. "What?"

"Look what I found~."

"... Let's dance."

Suddenly, instead of the ballroom music, there was a loud screeching "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!" Somehow Russia found the DDR mats and was challenging America.

"Oh god, not again..."

"No break-dancing this time, comrade~. You're in a dress."

"That doesn't matter!" America started dancing like the girls on music videos.

"Where did she get that pole?"

Russia started glaring. "Belarus. Help me out."

"Yes, Brother!" Belarus started dancing with Russia.

"You cheater! Korea! Help me out!"

It was a battle for the ages... and that age was for an hour. After an hour, everyone just got bored and left.

**Me: (Bows) Sorry for such a long delay on such a crappy chapter. T_T**

**America: (Reads chapter) Is it just me, or are there a lot of pairings with me in here? O_o**

**Me: It's just you. Review~! ^_^**


	22. PopopoPoker Strip, PopoPoker Strip

_Me: (Comes out of the 'Shipping War' bunker) Hi peoples~! ...Or rather, peoples that are left. ^^;_

_America: This is why you don't leaving an audience hanging for 3 weeks! -.-_

_Me: I SEE THAT NOW! -_-_

_America: (Hands over the review-letters)_

_Me: (Reads a letter) I already got Denmark! Ok... Nearly all the nations with an official genderbend (exception of Swiss, my OCs, and Poland) has been genderbent already. The only ones I missed are Wy, Vietnam, Seychelles, and Macau. I can **try **to look for good genderbent versions of Sealand, Latvia, and Liet (since those are the most requested)._

_Sealand: I'm going to be in this story? :D_

_Me: If I'm lucky._

_Sealand: Desu yo! ^_^_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Strip Poker... How long has it been since I've written about strip poker...? Since my Naruto days, at least. Oh the nostalgia... I am SO doing it. XD_

_America: But didn't you just point out most of us are girls by now?_

_Me: ...Doesn't matter. Crack is crack. :I (Reads another letter) I think it was atomic7kittencullen who requested a state fair. btw, I read your fic! It's funny! :D (Reads another letter) Italy's Tower of Pisa? O.o ...It's one of those cylinder-toy-building-blocks. (Doesn't it fit?)  
><em>

_Me: (Reads another letter) Civil War in Hetalia terms? I always wondered how that would work... Maybe the nation who had the Civil War develops a split-personality that argues with the original? It would fit for America, at least. Since the North and West (the Union) were more industrialized, more diverse, and had more people living close together. The South (Confederate) was more old-fashioned, chivalry wasn't dead, and the families were isolated because they were either stuck on their plantation, had less trains and steamboats, or on a hill. Good timing with that question, we just studied the Antebellum (Pre-Civil War) Period in US History. _

_Me: (Reads last letter) No, I did not get Iggy's dress based off a picture. I'm gonna stop rambling before the Author's Note gets too long again. ^^;  
><em>

_America: Bri doesn't own Hetalia. If she did, there would be ART of us playing strip poker as guys._

_Warning: stripping, Gilbirdzilla, extra pervy-ness, and a Soul Eater reference.  
><em>

* * *

><p>Battle for the ages...<p>

Hour 5...

"How many songs are in here, da-ze?"

"I don't know, dude. Keep dancing."

_Boom._

"You feel that?"

"Da."

_Boom._

"What is it?"

_BOOM._

There was a giant marshmallow bird-thing that knocked down the wall where the TV was against.

And thus the battle of the ages ceased.

'Bout time, too. -.-

"NOOOOO! I WAS WINNING! DX"

That was Prussia's cue to enter the room.

"Is it finally over- MARSHMALLOW GILBIRD! :D YOU CAME BACK FOR ME!"

Prussia glomped the giant destructive marshmallow while the rest of the now-girls sweatdropped.

Belarus, on the other hand, was observing Russia. 'I wish I could see how beautiful brother...sister... looks... wait, what if we play _that _game?'

Belarus walked up to Russia and tapped her shoulder.

"Yes, Belarus? What is it?"

"We're playing strip poker. Now."

"..." Everyone in the room gave him a blank stare.

"Nyet-"

"Belarus, that is the single most awesome and greatest idea you've ever had." America said with a serious look on her face.

"Ja!" Prussia cheered.

"Wait a minute-!" Russia tried to stop them, but she was out-numbered.

"I'll get everyone else in here, da-ze!"

"Why?"

"When's the next time you're going to see a room full of girls play _strip _poker again, da-ze?"

"SO. TRUE. GO GET EVERYONE!"

"Kesesese~ Even West?"

"_Especially _Germany."

Prussia, America, and Korea started chatting about 'how freakin' awesome this was going to be' as they left the room. Belarus just clung to a distressed Russia's arm.

"What have you done?"

Barely 15 minutes later...

Nearly all the formerly-male nations, Belarus, and Netherlands were sitting at a huge table. Nearly everyone had cards in their hands and grins on their faces. The former-girls just stood in the corner, either sweatdropping or facepalming at the unbelievable scene.

"Somebody lose already! :D" America cheered.

"..." Most of them wanted to _see _naked girls, not _be _them. And a few didn't even want to join, but were dragged into it.

"...You perverts." Hungary said with a shake of his head.

"Like you have room to talk..." half of them muttered.

"At least make a punishment for the person who loses first!"

"... Loser has to sleep in France's room."

"..."

"Well, it's a win-win for me, non? Ohonhonhon~."

"...It's on. Everyone make France lose. -_-"

"Wait!"

Everyone turned around to see Taiwan and China. Taiwan was smiling proudly at China in a maid's dress. China looked thoroughly embarrassed.

"Now you can play." Taiwan said with a grin.

"What happened, Sensei?" Hong Kong asked with a smirk.

"Taiwan wanted to play dress up, aru... Then heard about the strip poker... -_-"

"Ok, here are the rules!" America shouted. "I think everyone knows the rules to poker, but this is epic-global-strip-poker! Everyone except for the one who won the round and those who fold gotta take something off! First person to lose a round after being stripped completely naked has to sleep in the same bed as France!"

"Can we... um... censor ourselves if we get to that point?" Iceland asked with a blush. This earned a chuckle from Hong Kong.

"So long as it's not clothes!"

For the first round, everyone rose. Iceland got a royal flush. She let out a heavy sigh of relief.

"Take it off, people."

There were several annoyed grumbles and glances at the grinning French nation. Most of them just took off their shoes or belts. But I said 'most'.

"I-ITALY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Germany asked with a deep blush on her face.

"Ve~? I lost the round, so I'm taking my clothes off."

"Yes, BUT _MUST _IT BE YOUR SHIRT FIRST?"

"Why not my shirt first?"

"...Fine."

"Stop staring at Veneciano like that, potato-bastard!"

By the third round, Sweden sighed. She didn't have any accessory to prevent this. She started un-buttoning her coat.

Everyone turned their heads as they heard a heavy coat hit the floor. Sweden had her coat off.

Finland started blushing. 'I never noticed how pretty Su-san looks without her coat on...' Finland was about to say something, but Denmark beat her to it.

"HOLY CRAP, SWEDEN HAS A FIGURE! O_O"

Sweden stared at the ground. "Stop st'ring..."

The same thing happened with Russia. Except Belarus was grinning.

"That's creepy..."

"Scary..."

A couple of rounds later, everyone was in their underwear. Except for the few who were smart enough to fold had their shirts on. About half of them were either: blushing, nosebleeding, grinning, or a combination of the three.

'It's Raining Women', indeed.

"Hong Kong and Aniki's breasts belong to me, da-ze!"

"Why mine?"

"Yours are actually visible-" SMACK BY CHINA.

"Hungary...?"

"Yes, Ukraine?"

"Your nose is bleeding. And I think there's something in your pa... Oh."

"I now know what it feels like to be a man." Hungary said as he stared at Austria and Prussia.

"What?" Prussia said. "So men only like boobs? That's so mean."

Only Finland, France, and Spain were brave enough to raise that round. But, France won with a full house.

Finland pulled out a huge Angry Birds plushie to cover her chest with. Romano shoved a pillow into Spain's arms.

"Romano? Why-"

"Have _some _modesty, dammit. Think of all the perverts in here."

...

Last round.

France and England were in their birthday suits.

It was _on_.

England grabbed her cards and close her eyes.

Don't let it be a junk hand. Don't let it be a junk hand. Don't let it be a junk hand. Oh _please, _don't let it be a bloody junk hand...

England opened her eyes.

France showed her cards. "Three Jacks, Angleterre~."

England got up and slapped her cards onto the table. "FOUR QUEENS! FOUR! SUCK IT, YOU BLOODY PERVERT! XD"

Everyone cheered, then got their clothes and ran off.

Nobody noticed the two older nations in the corner of the room. One of them just had his mouth hanging open. The other one cracked a huge smile.

"Germania... THIS HAS BEEN THE GREATEST VISIT _EVER_! :D"

**Me: (*Checks off several things on request list*)** **That was fun. Slightly ****awkward, but fun.**

**France: (*Tears of joy*) I'M SO HAPPY YOU WROTE THIS CHAPTER!**

**Me: Is this a good thing or not...? o.o**

**France: (*Pulls out a rose*) Review~!**


	23. All's fair in crack and contests

_Me: (Walks in) Hiiiii peoples~!_

_England: Glad to see you actually updating within a week._

_Me: ikr? :D (Read a letter) This would not be a cracky gender-bender fic without a reference to that moment in Soul Eater. -w- In fact, hearing about that scene made me get back into that manga._

_Me: (Reads several more letters) It appears that Rome and Germania are gonna make a lot more cameos after this. XD_

_Germania: (Facepalm) Oh hell n-_

_Rome: Yaaaay! :D_

_Me: (Reads another letter) So many ideas. X3 I must do some of these._

_England: Bri does not own Hetalia. If she did, she would know the gender of our cameo today._

_Me: btw, I researched the Texas State Fair cuz I haven't been to any fair in years (and that fair was just the South Florida Fair). Holy crap. o_o The fair in America's glasses look freakin' awesome! :D (And it apparently gives the story a general time area. It's, like, early October and England did the spell a couple of weeks ago... Don't y'all **love **how time flies? ^^")_

* * *

><p>"Englaaand!" America whined.<p>

"What now, America?" England sighed.

"I wanna go to the fair!"

"What?"

"The faaair~! In Texas~! I wanna go~!"

"Why the hell would I drag everyone over to your house _just _to go-"

"FRANCE! ENGLAND WANTED TO SAY THAT YOUR STUFF IS BET-"

"FINE! WE'LL TAKE YOU TO YOUR BLOODY FAIR!"

"YAAAAAY~! :D"

One plane flight to Dallas and drive to the fair grounds later...

"Whoa..."

"_Damn_..."

"Ve~ It looks like one heck of a party over here!"

The nations looked around at the fair. There were stands as far as the eye can see. There were contests, food stands, carnival rides, and a giant metal cowboy.

Basically, what most of them thought the inside of America's head looked like. Without superheroes.

"Enjoy! There's contests and rides _everywhere_!" America laughed.

"Ve~ Is there a petting zoo?"

"Yup!"

"Are there rabbits?"

"Of course!"

Italy looked up at Germany with a happy sparkle in her eyes. "Can I pet them, Germany?"

Dat. Smile. "J-Ja."

Italy looked back at America. "Tell me about the rabbits, America."

"Go see them for yourself."

Italy grabbed Germany's hand and sped Italian-super-speed towards where she assumed the petting zoo was.

The other nations split up to explore the wonders of a state fair.

Starting with the Nordics...

"What weird food they have here..."

"Ev'ryth'ng's deep-fri'd."

Denmark looked around. "Deep-fried corn dog, deep-fried cookies, deep-fried _Coke_? Damn! What next?"

"Deep-fried beer," Norway responded.

"What. That's crazy, Norge."

Norway pointed at the stand that said 'Deep-Fried Beer'. Denmark stared at the little square treats in the stand. Then she turned around and stared at Norway.

"What f_kery is this? ಠ_ಠ" She looked from the fried-beer to Norway several times. "HOW? HOW THE HELL DID AMERICA FRY BEER?" Then she continued to stare at the fried alcoholic snack.

"I think America's incredible frying powers broke Denmark's brain," Iceland stated. "...Oh my god, he killed Denny."

"That bastard."

"Did y' _h've _t' do th't?"

"Yes."

Meanwhile at the 'Giant Candy Animal' Competition...

The giant chocolate bunny was about to win until Spain, France, and Prussia came riding in on the giant marshmallow bird.

The judge immediately gave the awesomer Gilbirdzilla the blue ribbon. The chocolate bunny and the boy riding it glared at Prussia.

Prussia glared back. "What, bitch? What?"

The chocolate bunny then threw itself onto Gilbirdzilla, who started pecking at the bunny on his back.

"HELL YEAH! We got ourselves a brawl! :D" the judge cheered. The crowd cheered. And the giant candy animals rawred.

Meanwhile at the petting zoo...

"Ve~! Look! The petting zoo!" Italy picked up a rabbit and gave it a hug. "It's so soft~!"

Germany saw Italy hugging a rabbit. The love-bubbles and hearts returned.

Man, those were persistent.

Italy held the confused rabbit out to Germany. "Ve~ Pet it, Germany!"

Germany (reluctantly) pet the bunny. Italy's smile got wider and sweeter. "It's soft."

Canada, America, and England were walking over to the sheep. Canada started idly petting the sheep that was right beside the fence.

"Ow... Please don't pet so hard."

"Oh. Sorry... Wait. o_o"

England, America, and Canada looked down at the fuzzy talking thing. It was New Zealand in a fuzzy white sweater.

England facepalmed. "...The bloody hell?"

America just stood there. "Uh..."

Canada sweatdropped. "What are you doing in there, New Zealand?"

New Zealand's head tilted to the side. "Do I know you?"

"Eh? It's us. England, America, and Canada. Oh yeah, not everyone knew about the spell yet..."

New Zealand smiled at England. "Looks like you messed up again, Big Bro."

"Shut up! Just tell me why the bloody hell you're in a petting zoo!"

"I tried visiting America to get my football back, but the people at the fair here thought I was an escaped sheep. I wonder why."

England stretched out a hand over the fence. "Don't worry, we'll get you out-"

The giant metal cowboy opened his mouth.

**"Attention! Attention! The signup for the cooking contest starts _now_!"**

"You're on your own." England ran off towards the signups.

"Iggy! Wait!" America ran off after her.

Canada sighed and grabbed New Zealand's hand.

Now at the cooking contest...

There were stoves, fryers, and Easy-Bake ovens everywhere. The air was full of the sounds of boiling water, sizzling, timers going off, metal pots and pans clanging. The smell of grease, spices, and 'cookies-just-like-Mama-makes' made the air heavy.

England was quickly making her scones. Italy was making pasta. Sweden was making surstromming. Austria was making cake. Belgium was making waffles. You get the picture.

As the judge was getting closer to England, she started freaking out.

"Did the timer go off yet?" England asked.

"Not yet. 10 more seconds."

The judge and the other nations (who totally did _not _want Fem!Iggy's delicious scones) were approaching the table.

3... 2... 1...

DA-DOOM.

"WHAT THE F_? O_O"

The giant chocolate bunny landed about 20 feet away from the crowd and the Bad Touch Trio dismounted right beside the other nations.

Prussia threw her arms into a victory V. "Suck it, kid! I win!"

Germany facepalmed.

"Do I smell smoke?"

"MY SCONES! D:"

England ran over to the oven.

BOOM!

And anyone within a 10 foot range of the oven got blown away. Team Rocket style.

"WHEEE! :D"

"AAH! DX"

Meanwhile on the other side of the fair...

Germania was sweatdropping as Rome shoved another plushie he won into his arms.

"This was fun, Germania! Now there's only one thing missing."

"VE!" Two girls with haircurls fell right into Rome's arms. And two more girls fell on top of Germania.

Rome stared for a moment. "...What kind of place is this? It's beautiful! Pigeons fly, women fall from the sky! I'm moving here! :D"

"Grandpa Rome?" the girls in his arms asked with a tilt of their heads.

"... OH MY GOD! YOU TWO LOOKED SO CUTE WHEN YOU ASKED THAT! XD" He squeezed them into a bear-hug.

"That f_ing explosion was worse than I thought. I'm seeing old perverts. =_=" Romano groaned.

Prussia and Germany finally got to their feet and took a good look at the person they landed on.

"Opa? O_O" Then they saw Rome. "Roman Empire? O_O"

Germania had a mini-heart-attack before waving a hand in front of his grandsons' faces. "These aren't the empires you're looking for."

"These aren't the empires we're looking for."

Germania raised an eyebrow. _I can't believe that worked. _"Let's go on a ride."

Prussia grabbed Germany's arm. "Let's go on a ride!" Prussia dragged the confused German away.

"That was so cool!" Rome said. "Can you teach me that?"

"No. -_-"

**Me: (*Checks off things on request list*) Phew. ^^"**

**America: Faaaair~! :D**

**England: (*Facepalm*)**

**America: Review~! :D  
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	24. Fail in the night

_Me: Hi peoples~! :D (Points at the reviews) Look! We passed 500, and made Texans proud, and made Germania and Rome requested a lot more, and made a lot more references_ _than usual~! :D (Of Mice and Men, South Park, Life is Beautiful, and Star Wars)_

_Romano: (sarcastically) Signorina Authoress, you have some letters to answer to._

_Me: Thanks, Romano~. (Reads a letter) Yes. Germania is a jedi. XD_

_Germania: In my defense, I only watched those movies out of curiosity._

_ Me: So now you're Legolas AND a jedi! XD_

_Germania: -_-_

_Me: (Reads another letter) The Giant Candy Animal Competition was an excuse to put the zilla in Gilbirdzilla and to have Chocolate Bunnies vs Marshmallow Birds. I should have posted this closer to Easter. ^^" Or at least put a reference to Hop in there._

_Hungary: (Hands over a letter)_

_Me: (Reads letter) o_o What happened to Hungary and Belgium's vital regions...? Mountains maybe? Or random towers popped up? (Though for Belgium, I heard from Tv Tropes that she already has balls of steel *shot*)_

_Belgium: (sweatdrop)_

_Me: (Reads another letter) (sigh)... Guess I have no choice. ^^" I've been trying to break the habit of putting my best friends and I into my own fics (ever since I discovered the definition of 'Mary Sue'), but since I have a Kidnap request and an Almighty-Authoress request, I might as well._

_Romano: Whoa! Whoa! What about our f_ing treaties? o_o_

_Me: (Pulls out the treaties) The treaty from this fic states that 'No bricks shall be brought to the Fourth Wall unless it is for repair. There shall not be another Fourth Wall War so long as the fangirls or the authoress are allowed to walk into the story.' And the treaty of 'La Porte Fictive' just inserts a door, so I can walk in if I wanted to, Romano._

_Romano: Oh... o_o Dammit. Remember, she doesn't own Hetalia. She just owns some new s_y comic somewhere on deviantart. If she did own Hetalia, would we really need the damn treaties? -.-_

_Me: Fine, I'll put up a poll on how I should do this... btw, Himaruya has been so generous! First the Micronation event then the France comic! So awesome! But he needs sleep. ^^"  
><em>

* * *

><p>The nations kicked front door again. Since it was nighttime in England by then, most of them went straight to their rooms.<p>

Russia, however, found a bar at that state fair. She couldn't leave all that poor ignored vodka to waste now could she? But sadly, gender and body mass affects however well you handle alcohol.

Ukraine and Belarus were helping/dragging Russia to the couch.

"Are you alright, Russia?" Ukraine asked the hungover Russian.

"She's fine, Ukraine. It's _is _my amazing Russia."

Russia hiccuped. "Moscow~! Moscow~! I don't know the freaking words! I don't know the freaking words! Ahahahaha~ Hey!" she sang.

"...See? Fine."

Meanwhile in the basement...

England had her cloak on and her spell book in her hand.

She was going to do the spell _correctly _this time, dammit.

She chanted the spell. The circle started glowing.

When the spell and the glowing stopped, England looked at the mirror in the corner of the room.

England nearly shouted out "YES! XD"

England saw a _male _reflection staring back at him. England got up, and proudly walked back to his room to sleep.

About 10 minutes later, France entered the basement.

"Mon dieu, it's stuffy in here." France picked up the abandoned book on the floor. "If Angleterre can do this, I should be able to do it ten times better." France flipped through the pages until she reached what looked like a gender-swap spell.

...

"I _cannot _read this." France continued staring at the strange scribbles that resembled words. "I should have learned how to read Angleterre's pathetic excuse for writing."

France mumbled/stumbled/chanted the spell. The circle started glowing. France looked at the mirror in the corner. France sighed and got up.

The spell didn't do anything. Go figure.

The next morning...

"Good morning, peoples-"

_**"BLOODY F_ING HELL!"**_

"Way to kill the good morning, Iggy!"

England ran downstairs. Still a girl.

"WHY THE HELL AM I STILL A GIRL? I THOUGHT I CHANGED MYSELF BACK LAST NIGHT- Oops."

"I don't know, maybe because you're a sucky wizard- WAIT, YOU CHANGED ONLY YOURSELF BACK LAST NIGHT AND DIDN'T TELL US? YOU SELFISH BASTARD! I MEAN, BITCH!"

France walked into the dining room where everyone was and yawned. "Bonne matin. Dare I ask what we're yelling about so early in the morning?"

"England tried to change himself back last night!" nearly everyone shouted as they pointed at England.

France tsked and shook her head. "Angleterre. You remember what happened last time, non? Last time you tried to fix your own spell, it only worked halfway. Ima-"

"Don't you dare put that mental image into my head, Frog! I actually _did _change back last night! But for some reason I'm still a girl..."

"When did you try it?"

"Right when we got back at 11."

France remembered going into the basement at 11:12. Then she grinned.

"I believe that was _my _doing." France strolled up to England. "I also tried changing back last night. However, it seems I stopped you from getting back your-"

"BITCH!"

"I _was _going to say d-"

France never got to finish because England tackled her.

"Another cat fight!"

"Aiyah..."

"Go for the shirts! Go for the shirts!"

"..."

"What?"

It was a battle to the death, until-

DING DONG.

Everyone froze and looked at the door. Even France and England stopped what they were doing.

They had a doorbell? O.o

England fixed up her hair and opened the door. Standing the doorway were four nations. Three of them were female, the sole male, who was holding a white blob-thing, looked a mix between 'confused-as-hell' and 'Not again!' One of the girls had shoulder-length brown hair and green eyes. One of the other girls, who was trembling, had short-and-curly blonde hair. The shortest of the girls had short little pigtails and a sailor outfit.

Oh hell no. Just, _hell _no.

"Hi, desu yo!" the shortest one said. "Is Jerk-England home?"

"Go. Home."

"That's mean! I just to see Jerk-England, lady!"

"I _am _England, you brat!"

The three now-girls stared with wide eyes. And Estonia groaned.

"My dream came true... T_T My messed up nightmare came true..."

Poland suddenly popped up from behind the door-frame. "Hi Liet! You, like, look cute!" The Pole grabbed Lithuania's hand and dragged her inside. "Like, let's play dress-up!"

"P-Poland!"

And when the others entered, the very instant they entered, America looked the blob-thing in the eye.

"Dude, what is that?"

"Uh... my pet?" Estonia answered.

Said pet looked America up and down. "Daaamn. That's some hot bitch!"

Everyone looked at the Mochi that sounded exactly like normal-America and asked the same thing.

"What the hell? -_-"

**Me: Short chappie is short! Sorry! I'll get some more requests in the next one and make is longer!**

**Ameri-mochi: ****Review!**


	25. Bowling Bash

_Me: Hi peoples~! (Waves to the peoples) I finally get an excuse to do an old request this chappie. X3_

_England: Yes, yes, just read the letters. (Hands over a handful of letters)_

_Me: (Reads a letter) I like our treaties too~. A lot~. :D_

_All the nations: *cough*I don't.*cough*_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Sorry, I just Googled 'Fem *insert nation here*'. ^^" The official Nyotalia Baltics haven't come out yet. (I swear, by the time this fic is over, these fem designs are gonna be Jossed like Iceland's.)_

_Sealand: (Tugs pigtail) But I like these, desu yo!_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Congratulations, the request list/paper is now completely filled. ^^ (I'm gonna need_ _another one. Soon.) (Reads yet another letter) ... In my head, Ameri-mochi sounds like America. Just for Rule of Funny. And because I can totally imagine the other mochis like Canada-mochi and Spain-mochi sounding like them._

_Ameri-mochi: Bitch! :3_

_Me: -.- ... (Reads another Ameri-mochi related letter) o_o Oh damn you, fridge logic. You make even a throw-away joke like that sound wrong._

_Me: (Reads another letter) Oh yeah, I forgot Dominican Republic and Puerto Rico were in the fic. They're both genderbent still. Here. (Tosses Fem!PR to the person who remembered.) And also, no holiday specials for this fic! I may have set this in October but that doesn't mean I'll give it a Halloween special. (pout) And besides, I'm writing a parody of A Christmas Carol for my peoples as a gift. ^_^ And update more often on this fic (hopefully. Not sure. Someone's pleading/bugging-me-to keep writing my stupid FMA fic =_=)._

_Ameri-mochi: Bitch doesn't own Hetalia. (Sprouts a hand and points middle finger at Estonia) This bitch does. :3_

* * *

><p>"Let's, like, go bowling!"<p>

Everyone stared at the Pole with a confused look.

"Why...?"

"I, like, wanna show off how cute I made Liet!" Poland dragged Lithuania out into the open.

Poland had forced her into a skirt. And a blouse. With hair-clips.

"Doesn't this outfit, like, totally bring out Liet's eyes? I need to show off!"

"Fine, Poland..."

One trip to America via Portkey later...

"Let's _never _travel that way again, Iggy."

"I second this."

"It wasn't _that _bad!"

They had landed in front of a huge bowling alley. Inside were neon lights everywhere, darkness, the lanes, and a DJ booth.

After everyone got their shoes and an alley, they had a little trouble with the electronic board that they were supposed to put their names into.

"America. The buttons on these things suck." Denmark said as the 'D' button refused to work.

"You spelled my name wrong, desu yo!"

"English is _not _my first language, aru! -_- It's hard to write, aru!"

England looked at the screen above the second lane. "Russia... Who the hell is 'Steve'?"

Russia smiled and looked up at the ceiling. "You should know, da?"

Russia, delete it. -_- Now.

"Fine~."

After they finally managed to get all there names into the scoreboards, it was Liechtenstein's turn first. He tried his hardest to pick up a black 16 ball (I'm not sure what bowling in foreign countries is like, but over here each ball has a number on it. Usually the balls with smaller numbers/brighter colors are going to be lighter), but it was too heavy. Switzerland got up and grabbed a lighter ball for his...her sister... brother... sibling.

"Oh. Danke." Liechtenstein was about to hand Switzerland the ball when it slipped through his fingers.

THUD. Switzerland's foot was gonna hurt like hell now.

"Gah!"

"I'm so sorry! Are you okay?"

Switzerland looked at the worried look on Liechtenstein's face and faked a smile. "I'm fine. Carry on." She managed to limp out of the bowling alley and everyone heard a faint 'OW! SON OF BITCH! DX' from outside.

Liechtenstein knocked over half of the pins by the time her turn was over. Then it was Romano's turn. She bent over, pulled her arm back, and felt the bowling ball fly off her fingers as she did.

THUD. "OW! MON DIEU! DX"

"DO-OVER, DAMMIT!"

Spain retrieved Romano's ball from France's foot ("Aaaah. DX I think you broke something!") and passed it to Romano with a wink.

Romano tried again. And it hit a cat.

"My kitty...!"

"...I want another damn do-over."

The third time Romano tried, she actually got a strike.

In the wrong lane.

"Pffft. X3"

"You have _got _to be s_ing me."

"Spain! It's your turn!"

Spain put a hand on Romano's shoulder. "Esta buen, Romano. You get 9 more turns!"

Spain grabbed a ball and bent over. Immediately, every human former-male, and France, in the alley started staring. Do not underestimate the power of Spain's ass.

"Ohonhonhon~. Would you just look at that-" CRUNCH. "OW! MY FOOT! I mean, would you just look at form! She looks like she's going to do great! Now, would you mind not crushing my foot, Romano?"

After Spain it was Taiwan. Who got a strike. In three lanes at the same time with one ball.

Everyone stared. Taiwan just rubbed the back of his neck. "Guess I was just lucky."

Russia got up to roll. She just pushed the ball. When it was about to go into the gutter, Russia started chanting "Kolkolkolkol..."

The ball went back to the center and got Russia a strike.

"Dude, that was so cheating."

"I have no idea what you're talking about, comrade. ^^"

Meanwhile at the DJ Booth...

Rome and Germania were in the same bowling alley because 'it's a small world after all~!'

Ok, that was a lame pun...

Anyways, Rome looked up at the empty DJ booth and grinned. "Germania~."

"What now?"

"I think you should be the DJ!"

He raised an eyebrow. "...What?"

"Seriously! Don't you have that CD you always dance to when you're home alone in your pocket?"

"How did you-? Fine, dumbass."

Germania put the CD in, and got out his neon lights. The music came on, and suddenly every person with Germanic blood in the room had the urge to dance.

"I LIKE GERMAN SPARKLE PARTIES~. SPARKLE PARTY, SPARKLE PARTY! I LIKE GERMAN SPARKLE PARTIES~. SPARKLE PARTY, SPARKLE PARTY."

"PRUUUUUSSIAAAAAA!" Germany, Austria, and Switzerland yelled.

"It wasn't my fault! I swear!"

"We weren't blaming you," Germany said. "We're just mad because _WE ARE COMPLETELY UNPREPARED FOR A SPARKLE PARTY!_"

"Sure we are. There's a bar over there, I have the rubber boots, you always carry around some spare neon."

"What about party pants?"

"..."

"WE CANNOT HAVE A PROPER GERMAN SPARKLE PARTY WITHOUT PARTY PANTS! IT'S JUST WRONG!"

"I brought some party pants."

"_Danke_, Switzerland. Danke."

They all magical appeared in their party gear while the rest of the world wondered what the hell was going on.

"Well," America said. "When you can't figure them out, join them." America got on top of a table. "I saw someone do _this _at a nightclub once-"

"A-America! Please! We're in public! And there are children present!"

"Hahaha!"

"Maybe after this I should ask the DJ-san if he has any Vocaloid..."

"PARTY! PARTY!"

**Sorry, the last part ****got rushed right before bed. Finally the Club!America and Vocaloid request done!**

**Japan: Review, please.  
><strong>


	26. Authoress' BSOD

_This story is ending. I'm sorry, but it is. Really soon. _

_It's not you guys, it's me. I can't write this well. I finally noticed the bad critiques this story gets. I appreciate that the 'Profileless-Lurker' actually said it to me directly and tried to be polite about it, but the other critique (which was on a blog by some random person) was just someone copy-pasting the first chapter and snarking between the lines calling me out on grammar (like I don't know what these: ~* are supposed to be for, using 'their' when it's plural and I couldn't find a gender neutral possessive pronoun besides 'its', the censoring) and saying I'm stupid. _

_I'm not going to pour my heart and soul into a work that sucks. No matter how fun it is and popular it was. I can understand if you're mad at me, or sad, and I **know **there are going to be a lot of 'Don't give up!' rants on the review page later.  
><em>

_So this story will end soon, if I update it after this chapter at all. The sequel to this is cancelled. I'm sorry. I don't own Hetalia. I never will, nobody would want me to. I'd just fuck it up like I did this fic._


	27. Tequila or Dare?

_Me: (Walks in) Hi peoples. ^^"  
><em>

_Thank you all for the touching speeches a lot of you put your reviews (hell, I starred those things in my inbox). They made me cry. I won't stop this (well, not so bluntly anyways. Since I had already planned for this to go to AT LEAST 30 chapters). The sequel is back on. The previous chapter is a... what's the right way to put it...? Freak out? Break down? ...How I go with BSOD (Blue Screen of Death)? ^^" December hasn't been a kind month. I nearly ended up doing regretful...I'm sorry. I'm not sure which reviews made me cry more: The ones with the paragraph long speeches, the ones who just start reading this thing in the middle of a crisis, or the short ones that sound convinced that I'd given up already. My motto is 'For the peoples' and I almost made my peoples sad... Well, no more! I'm continuing this thing! No matter what! Because I'm a fanfic writer! No. Because this is your cheer up charm!  
><em>

_England and America: ... You're a big softie._

_Me: Why do you think I love this fandom? Now, letters?  
><em>

_England: (Hands over letters/reviews from before the BSOD)_

_Me: (Reads a letter) When I said 'the request list completely filled', I meant 'the physical sheet of paper where I write the requests is completely filled. There's no more room to write anything'. ^^" I'll try to fulfill the requests still on there before I get a new sheet though._

_Me: (Yet another two letters, then throws Mochimerica and Canada into the crowd)  
><em>

* * *

><p>The next day, someone suggested they play Truth or Dare. Nobody remembered who said it, but all the nations ended up sitting in a circle, ready to play.<p>

England glared up at the ceiling. "YOU _CAN'T _BE SERIOUS!"

Of course I'm serious. I expect you to play.

"GET DOWN HERE!"

And so the author fell from the ceiling and landed face-first. I... She had a messy dark-brown ponytail, glasses, and a jacket. "Ow. I meant to do that. Anyways, you called?"

"You can't have us play Truth or Dare for no reason!"

The authoress pouted. "'Course I can. It's my crack fic."

"What if I refuse to play?"

The authoress pointed to the audience. "You'll make them sad."

England frowned and looked at the audience. "Fine, but I'm not doing this for any of you. I'm just doing this... so that I have something to do."

"Sure. _Whatever _you say. But before I go..." She snapped her fingers. "Yoink!" With a poof of smoke, she was gone.

"What the hell was that for?"

"Where did Spain go?"

"..."

I'm borrowing her~! Por un amuleto de la buena suerte~.

"'Borrowing' my ass!" Romano yelled. She got up and stormed out the door.

"..."

Continue with the plot, guys.

"One of _your _stories... has a _plot_?"

...Just play truth or dare, guys. -_-

"Oui..." France said. "I'll start. Japan, truth or dare?"

"Um... Dare."

Suddenly, France had a half a dozen outfits in her hands. "I dare you to model these cosplays for us."

Japan grabbed the cosplay and left the room.

"F-France-san!"

France grinned. "You have to do the dare, Japan!"

Japan came back into the room while wearing cosplay #1. She had long black pigtails. She was wearing nothing but a boots, an open coat, a black bikini top, and _incredibly _short, leather shorts.

"Black Rock Shooter? Nice."

Japan started blushing after someone wolf-whistled. "I-I'll go put on the other clothes."

Cosplay #2 was Kagura from Gintama. Japan was wearing a red cheongsam, black pants, and a red wig with ornaments on the sides of her head.

Cosplay #3 had yet another red wig, Chinese-style clothes.

"Oh! Ranma! It's Ranma!"

"Hai..."

Cosplay #4 was Yoko from Gurren Lagann. Which meant Japan had on a red flame bikini top, just-as-short-as-the-other-coplay spandex shorts, and white boots.

Finally, Cosplay #5 was Erza from Fairy Tail. So Japan was wearing armor, a blue skirt, black boots, and yet another red wig.

"Ve~! You look cute, Japan!"

Japan sat back down in her seat. "Prussia-kun, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Did this really happen?" Japan held up a painting that had Prussia standing over a beaten Austria on a battlefield.

Austria stared at the painting with a blank look on her face. "...Is that?"

"War of the Austrian Succession!" Prussia said with a smirk. "Good times... Goood times..."

Austria and Hungary glared.

Prussia looked at Canada. "Birdie, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who's older, you or America?"

Canada and America glanced at each other and started whispering.

"I gained independence first, so it's me, right?"

"I think she means which one of us is _born _first, America."

"But, dude. We showed up on different parts of the continent. How can we tell?"

They looked at France and England. "Which of us did you find first?" they asked in unison.

England stared hard at Canada. "Who are you?"

"I'm Canada... Forget it, Prussia. We don't have an answer yet."

Then the front door to the house slammed open. Romano dragged in Spain and sat back in the circle.

"Ve? What happened?" Italy asked.

"She wanted a cheer up charm~," Spain replied.

"She could have asked first," Romano said.

"She didn't have to ask you for you to tell her 'Cheer the f_ up'."

"That's different! She didn't kidnap me!"

"Oy! Italiano! Bobo!" DR said. "Can you stop fighting long enough for us to finish?"

"Fine..."

Canada looked at America. "America, truth or dare?"

"Dare me! No wait! Truth! Wait, heroes pick dare!"

"It won't matter since it will be the same thing."

America gave her a confused look. "Huh?"

"I dare you to tell me what happened during that incident Mexico mentioned."

America paled. She rubbed her neck and laughed nervously. "What incident?"

"The one that Mexico mentioned in Walmart. The Tequila Incident."

Suddenly, Dominican Republic's face split into a very wide grin and Puerto Rico nearly burst out laughing. America gave them a look that clearly said 'Stop laughing! It's not funny!'

"What incident?" England asked.

"England, remember when you tried calling me during the Spring Break of 2010?"

"...Yes."

"Well, I don't remember much but here's what happened..."

_Spring Break of 2010. Cancun, Mexico._

_The meeting between the Hispanic na__tions and America had just ended. They were having a meeting about immigration laws, and economies, and such._

_However, that wasn't important._

_What was important was that America wanted a decent drink in Cancun._

_"Mexicooo," America whined. "I see a million advertisements for Corona and not a single one here. What the heeeell?"_

_Mexico's eye twitched from his neighbor's whining. "We mostly export that. If you actually want one here, it's going to cost you."_

_"Then what do you drink?"_

_"Either Dos Equis or Tequila."_

_"Weak."_

_All the Hispanic nations stopped what they were doing and stared. Nobody ever called Mexico's Tequila weak. Ever._

_"_What?_" Mexico snapped._

_"I can drink way more Tequila than you."_

_Mexico glared while America smirked. They sat back down at the meeting table, not taking their eyes off each other. Someone brought out 2 dozen shots of Tequila. You could practically here the Mexican Standoff music in the background._

_"This is going to be good!"_

_"This isn't some novella! What if something bad happens?"_

_"Relax. What could possibly go wrong?"_

_Several shots of Tequila later..._

_America tried drinking 2 shots of Tequila for every shot Mexico had. Mexico had 8 shots by the time it was over._

_Mexico held his shots well enough. But America..._

_"IIIIII WIIIIIN!" the drunk-off-his-ass American shouted._

_"You don't win. You're wasted."_

_"'Course I win! I'm da hero~!"_

_Mexico held up a finger. "Hold many fingers am I holding up?"_

_America squinted. "Two? No no, wait. Three. I know! Seventy-four!"_

_Mexico facepalmed.  
><em>

_"Estas borracho," everyone deadpanned._

_Then America suddenly got up. "Someone's in trouble!" He ignored the confused, amused, and thoroughly worried looks from the other nations and ripped open the front of his bomber jacket._

_"Estados Unidos?"_

_"I am not United States! I am... CAPTAIN HERO-MAN!" He puffed out his chest and struck a pose._

_And a dozen cameras went off._

_"Captain Hero-man... AWAY!" America turned around and jumped out the window._

_"Ameri-"_

_"We're on the first floor. Calm down."_

_Everyone looked out the window to see America riding off on an alpaca._

_"...Alright, who brought the alpaca?"_

_Everyone looked at Peru._

_"What? He said he didn't want to be left alone with the llama! And he gave me the puppy face! Have you ever seen a puppy face on an alpaca? Unstoppable."_

_Then America sped down the road until he reached a huge building with several gift shops, games, restaurants, and a trampoline with a bungee cord. By the time the other nations caught up with him, he was pulling and leaning back on the bungee cord like a giant slingshot._

_"Anda la mierda..."_

_"He wouldn't..."_

_The drunken American lifted his feet from the ground, and launched himself to the second floor of the building._

_"He did."_

_Mexico rushed up the escalator. "Where the hell did he go?" That's when he heard screaming from the laser tag area. "Oh hell no..."_

_When he stepped inside, he saw America with a fierce look on his face firing the false gun everywhere. "Take that, evil dude! USA! USA!"_

_Mexico looked at his fellow Hispanics. "Can I get a little help here?"_

_Soon, America was being dragged away by Mexico, Puerto Rico, and Argentina. That's when America's cellphone rang._

_"...It's England."_

_"Should we let him answer?"_

_"Yeah..."_

_They gave America the phone. "'Ello?"_

_"America?"_

_"Oh, hi, Iggy." America had a lop-sided smirk on his face. "How you doin'?"_

_"...You're drunk."_

_"No I'm not~."_

_"Yes, you are. I can tell."_

_"I swear ta drunk, I'm not God."_

_"Go sober up."_

_"NEEEVAAAAH! XD"_

_"It's pronounced 'never', you idiot! Sober up!"_

_"Fine. Meanie. I'm goin'."_

_"Good riddance."_

_"Wuv you, Iggy. Bye!" Click._

_And on the other side of the Atlantic ocean, England's brothers were laughing at how red their brother's face was turning as he tried to convince them that America was drunk when he said that._

_"Where should we put him until he's sober?"_

_"...I know. Remember when Australia visited? He left Joey."_

_The next morning..._

_The sunlight shone on America's face. He tried opening his eyes to the bright light._

_"Ow... Turn off the sun... Five more minutes..."_

_He rolled over until his foot brush against something weird. He opened his eyes to see nothing but a furry face **right **in front of him._

_"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!"_

_Back in the present..._

...everyone there was laughing their asses off.

"Stop laughing! It's not funny, guys!"

"You're right. It's not funny. It's hilarious."

"'Captain Hero-man'?"

"I was drunk, ok!"

"Puerto Rico! Do you still have pictures?"

"Hell yes!"

"Don't show them!"

As everyone started laughing together, they forgot who's turn it was.

***Awkwardly bows to the ****audience* Thank you very much.**

**I...um... left a little gift for you guys on my dA account (Bri-Nara).**

**Thank you for your support. Thank you for cheering me up. And thank you for caring enough to read this story and react when I nearly ended it improperly.**

**Daisuki~.  
><strong>


	28. Mischeif and misfire

_Me: Hiii peoples~. Sorry for being late. Epic event, semester exams... who am I kidding? Those aren't good reasons. Though I did find it cute when some of you recognized me at the event. X3 Now, I have good news and bad news. Now, during the Christmas event, my request (Romano smiling) got fulfilled~_, _my bff pointed out 'That's how the people who read your fic feel.' I'm like 'O_O They feel THIS?' So I ran to my room to grab the request list. Bad news: I lost the request list. Good news: I stayed up until 5 in the morning on New Year rewriting it. And I've decided... *sigh* to actually do my research and include the UK Brothers. Since I totally suck at research, I'm gonna be stuck reading a LOT of UK Brothers fics. ^^"_

_England: (Hands over letters)_

_Me: (Reads a letter) o_o Uh... Austria? Does Kugelmugel have Internet?_

_Austria: I'm not sure. Why?_

_Me: Because someone said 'Your work is art!' and my first thought was Kugelmugel. ^^" Moving on... (Reads a letter) ._. Uh... the Spanish from last chapter was not from Google Translator. That was me attempting to write Spanish. (Snaps fingers and fixes Spanish mistakes)_

_Latin America: (Trying not to laugh)_

_Me: Hey! I never learned how to write Spanish! It's a miracle I didn't write it with a Dominican accent (where most of the 'r's turn into 'l'). Anyways... (Reads another letter) Llamas and alpacas get along fine. Peru's pet llama and alpaca, on the other hand, are competing for his attention. My headcanon for Peru is that he's going to have a soft spot for fuzzy animals._

_Peru: ^^"_

_Me: (Read another letter) 'How much liquor exactly did America drink?' ... Uh... (Glances at Wikipedia) Tequila usually has 38-40 percent of alcohol content so... about as strong as vodka? Since America had like 16 straight shots when it was implied (when I was in Cancun) that 4 is enough to get a tourist drunk... A lot._

_Everyone: ... (sweatdrop)_

_Me: (Reads several more letters) Wow... It just occurred to me that it's been a while since anyone has requested a character. ._. America, Prussia, Japan, Iggy. To the catapult._

_Said nations: (Gets in)_

_Me: (Fires catapult) ^^_

_America: WOOT! (Lands somewhere in the audience)_

_Me: Remember, I don't own Hetalia. Never will._

* * *

><p>"Sealand? Are you <em>sure <em>this is a good idea?"

"Of course! If Jerk-England can do it, then I can do it, desu yo!"

Sealand and Latvia quietly entered England and France's room. The two older nations were fast asleep.

Sealand went over to England's side of the bed and reached her hand under the pillow. Sealand smiled and looked over at Latvia. 'I got it!' she mouthed. She showed Latvia the star-tipped wand in her hand.

They were about to leave when Latvia felt something grab her and let out a quiet 'Eep!'

Sealand turned around. Latvia was somehow locked in a sleeping France's grip. Latvia started trembling and mouthed 'H-Help me!'

'You shouldn't have stood so close to that side, desu yo!'

France snuggled Latvia close. "Oh mon lapin... Tu es tres mignon~... Let's have some of those pancakes you love so much when we get back home. Oui?"

Sealand slipped a pillow on the floor, which she assumed was France's actual bed, between France's arms. Latvia slid out of the older nation's arms and ran over to Sealand. When they got out of the room, Latvia almost threw herself at Sealand.

"T-That was so s-scary!"

"It's ok, Latvia! We have the wand. We can do whatever we want with it!"

"Can it change us back?"

"Yup!"

"...Can it make me taller?"

"Of course it can! We just need the right spell." She pointed the wand at Latvia. Latvia closed her eyes. "Bigger-rus Maximus!"

...Nothing happened.

"Wrong spell. Uh... Grow-cio!"

...

"Make Latvia taller... please, desu yo?"

...

Sealand smacked the wand and flailed it in the air. "Work you stupid thing!" She failed to notice the sparks flying out of the end of the wand.

"S-Sealand!"

A ball of light blasted from the wand and flew towards the door at the end of the hall. A door that was being opened by Lithuania.

She looked at Sealand and Latvia as she rubbed her eyes. "What's going on? What's with all the racket-?" POOF.

The ball of light hit Lithuania square in the chest. She stumbled back into the room, shutting the door as she did so.

Sealand and Latvia stared at each other blankly for about a minute. Sealand opened the door to England and France's room and tossed the wand in there. Said wand landed with a flash, a boom, and a pair of startled nations.

And then Sealand and Latvia ran like hell to their room.

The next day...

"OH MY GAWD. LIET, LIKE, SPEAK TO ME!"

"Could you...not shout like that, Poland?"

Lithuania was in bed, sick with a fever. A lot of nations were panicking. Latvia and Sealand were nowhere in sight.

"Someone should totally get some medicine! Liet is, like, dying!"

"Poland, relax. I'm fi-" Lithuania got cut off by a coughing fit.

Poland panicked and wrapped Lithuania in a thick blanket. America put the burger on Lithuania's forehead ("IT ISN'T WORKING!"). Dominican Republic shoved two spoonfuls of brown, onion and garlic filled, homemade-medicine down her throat ("The burn means it's working."). Taiwan gave Lithuania some Chinese medicine.

Lithuania sighed. "Please... No more medicine..."

"Then you would like some tea, da?"

The sick nation looked up to see Russia holding a cup of tea between her gloved hands.

"Um... N-No thanks..."

Russia leaned down and looked Lithuania in the eye. "I insist. Kolkol..."

Lithuania shuddered. She took the tea and gulped it down for Russia.

"It's delicious. I feel better already!"

"You're welcome~."

America raised an eyebrow. "Why are you helping? I didn't know you cared so much."

Suddenly Russia was surrounded by purple aura. "I have to keep my toys in good condition, da?"

Cue the spit-take from Lithuania. "T-Toy?"

"Aw, I just made that tea..."

Meanwhile in Scotland's house...

Scotland knew there was something wrong.

Just from sitting up in bed, even when half-asleep, one could tell something was wrong.

Scotland glanced at the mirror beside the wardrobe on the other side of the room.

"..."

A hand immediately went for the cellphone and dialed in Wales' number.

"Hello?"

"Call Ireland and North," Scotland said. "I think it's 'bout time we visit our 'sister'."

**Me: (Checks 'Sick nation' request off new request list)**

**England: How come they don't get a proper appearance yet?**

**Me: I'm waiting until the event ends, in case they show up. -_- I'm not having another OC be Jossed in the middle of a fic like India.**

**England: Alright then... (Looks at the audience) Review.**


	29. Ok shooting from UK

_Me: (Walks in with a crap-ton of notes) Hi peoples~! ^^_

_America: What the heck are those?_

_Me: Research on Iggy's big brothers. Thank you, Shiva491, for the good sources to start looking instead of me just googling 'Hetalia Scotland fanfics'. I forgot Tv Tropes had a 'Useful Notes' section. A friend of mine gave me a link to a place that converts a sentence to the Scottish or Irish accented version of it (though the accents there were heavy as hell, so I cut back a bit). It took a while to write this because I don't have a good feel for Scotland's character. ^^" (Hands note-mountain to Nezumi) Now. Review letters. ^^_

_America: (hands a letter)_

_Me: (Reads letter) Yes, in-story, most of Florida is underwater. Don't worry the peoples got away via boats/Seaworld/cruises. That only adds to their little 'country of girls' problem. XD The only parts of Florida I left alone are Key West and Seaworld.  
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_America: To your own state. How could you?_

_Me: Cleveland and New Jersey can't be the nation's only Buttmonkeys. Sometimes you got to laugh at yourself~. (Reads review) If they called a doctor, the scene would've went more or less like this:  
><em>

America: (On the phone) Hey, Doc! Do you do house calls?

Doc: Is the patient _that _bad? Very well. What's the patient's name?

America: Lithua- I mean, uh, Toris- Tori!

Doc: And what are they sick with?

America: Magic! *Click* ... He hung up on me.

_Me: (Reads another review) I HAD 666? O_O Thanks, Weap-chan! ;A; I just got off my 7 years bad luck, I do NOT need any more, thank you very much! _

_Me: (Reads another review) ... Oh joy. The 666 thing jinxed me. -_- (*eyetwitch*) Thank you for being direct about it. Thank you for not calling this the worst thing ever. I'm sorry that writing since 2009 and evolving from pointless Self-Inserts to this doesn't count as 'experienced'. I'm sorry that I don't have 'thicker skin', but please. Don't offend my readers. Just don't. They **don't **give the APH fandom a bad name, because the APH fandom, in case you haven't noticed, is supposed to be like a **big family**. They actually give a damn about one of their own. Don't you dare insult my readers. By the way, this was a **very **pleasant thing to read at one in the morning while I was still trying to stay cheerful for the event. You had me trembling too hard to type for a full half an hour. Nearly made my laptop fall to the ground and break. ^^" Nobody's ever done that before. Consider yourself proud, you sad little anon. I'm not mad at the review itself, since it wasn't a flame. I'm just mad at the fact that they insulted my peoples! You hear of the trope 'Father to His Men', well it's in full play whenever I think of that review!  
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_Me: (Starts trembling and grabs another letter) ... T-Thank you, Zettaslow and XXXWriterFromTheHeartXXX, for trying to d-defend me. Though I think this cements the f-fact that I'm still a c-crybaby... (Sigh)  
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_Nezumi: (Removes reviews from Bri's hands and gives the review-letters from chapter 26 and 27) Here, Bri-san. Go lie down._

_Me: (Walks off while still trembling) Maybe I should... That gloomy LietPol fic idea is becoming more and more of a good idea... Actually. I think I'll take that poll down...  
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_Nezumi: (sigh) Bri-san does not own Hetalia (and I am not an OC for this story). If she owned Hetalia, the series wouldn't have lasted very long... Actually, that makes me nervous for my series in the making. ._. Chi..._

* * *

><p>"ENGLAND!"<p>

England turned around to around to see Miss Fairy flying toward her with a worried look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"I heard from Flying Leaf Bunny who heard from Flying Mint Bunny who heard from Unicorn-"

"Spit it out!"

"Scotland's mad at you."

"..."

"...England?"

"...I need a moment."

England got out of her room and found Japan on the computer.

"...Japan..."

"Please wait a moment, England-san." Japan was in the middle of a chat on Tohla. She quickly typed something along the lines of 'Nekomura-san? Are you still there? Don't let the perverts get you, Nekomura-san! Hang in there, please!' When she didn't get a response, she looked at England. "Yes?"

"I need your help with blocking the entrances..."

An hour later...

Everyone was staring at the barricaded door from behind the couch.

"Any moment now..."

"Until what, England?"

There was a knock on the door. Everyone ducked behind the couch until they noticed that nothing happened. There was another knock, and some muffled voices outside.

"Oi don't think dat will work, Wales."

"It was at least worth a try."

"Oh, fur the love o... stand back!" BLAM.

There was a kick to the door from outside. Slowly, but grandly, the door fell inward. Standing in the doorway was a lady with red hair and green eyes, smirking straight at them. Behind her were 3 other girls.

She walked up to England and looked her straight in the eye.

"Ye cannae even get _one _wee spell right, can ye, _sis_?"

England glared. "How can you tell that _I'm _England?"

"Easy. Ye're the ugliest one here."

"YOU BASTARD!"

"Oy! Ye made me a lass, mind?"

"THEN, YOU BITCH!"

"At least a dinna hae _pigtails._"

"Which reminds me, where's your skirt?"

"It's. A. _Kilt_."

England and Scotland continued yelling at each other while America walked over to the rest of the UK and Ireland.

"So you guys know magic too, right?"

"Aye."

"You can change us back, right?"

Wales crossed her arms. North Ireland muttered something along the lines of 'Let England fix her own mess'.

"How about a bet then?"

They all looked at America with an amused look. "We're listenin'."

"We have...uh... a paintball battle out in England's backyard! We win, you change us back. You win, we wait until England figures the spell out."

They all grinned in a way that said 'We have ourselves a bet'.

Later back in England's maze of a backyard...

It was four against four. America gave them all different colored hats so that they don't accidentally shoot their own team.

England's brothers...sisters...siblings against four of the best snipers America could convince.

Finland, Switzerland, England, and Canada.

Ireland and Northern Ireland were hiding behind a rosebush when he heard some rustling from the bush across from theirs.

Ireland wanted to shake her head at the carelessness of the opponent. They must be from an icy place.

Northern Ireland tapped her sister on the shoulder and pointed at the animal in front of their bush. A rabbit. A rabbit that was about to give away their position. Northern Ireland tried to shoo it away, but it didn't move. Northern Ireland was about to shout at it to go away in frustration, when a paintball darted out from the bushes and hit her in the forearm.

Northern Ireland stared blankly at her now-orange arm. 'I'm out,' she mouthed to Ireland.

Ireland listened hard. Apparently whoever was shot her sister was still there. Now, how to take them out...

Ireland grinned and took off her hat. Northern Ireland gave her a deadpanned look that said 'Dat old trap? Seriously?'

Ireland put her hat on the muzzle of her paintball gun and held it up so that the hat just barely appeared over the rosebush. Ireland's grin grew wider and the hat got splattered with orange. She purposely dropped her gun and held out her hand to her sister. North Ireland rolled her eyes, but handed Ireland her gun.

Their opponent got out of the bushes and walked over to their hiding spot. There was yelling, rapid fire shooting, and swearing not that far from them.

"Oh my gosh! Are you alright? America said these shouldn't actually hurt anybody-" Splat. Finland fell back in surprise as Ireland shot her in the shoulder.

Ireland stood up from behind the rosebush and smirked down at Finland. Finland looked up at her with the same surprised expression until it faded into a smile.

"Haha! Looks like you got me! Funny, I knew I got _someone_." Northern Ireland stood up and held up her orange painted-splattered forearm. "That explains it. Though... two against one isn't very fair now is it?"

At the moment, Ireland got orange splattered all over her stomach. Ireland barely saw the blonde dot ran away.

"Kiitos, Canada!" Finland called out.

Later...

The eight participants in the paintball battle were covered head-to-toe in orange and blue paint.

It was draw.

However, they still agreed to change some countries back to normal. So by the time England's brothers left, the only genderbent nations left were the Axis, most of the Allies, the Nordics, Sealand, Spain, and Romano.

"Hell yeah! Florida's back! I missed you soooo much!"

"Stop bragging about it, you git!"

"Inglaterra, how come your brothers didn't change _us _back?"

"His exact words were 'I don't like you. I don't like you. _You _look better like that. And you give England hell for me, will you?'"

"Ohhhh."

**Me: Man. This took forever to write. X_X Again, sorry if the accents are wrong.**

**England: At least you tried.**

**Me: Oh. Internet cookie to whoever can guess the story Ireland got the sniper trick from.**

**England: Review.  
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	30. Zoom through the zoo

_Me: Hi peoples~. I'm going to __try writing this c__hapter before I have to go to San Martin and San Thomas, so... (Types like the wind)_

_England: (Hand_s _over review letters)_

_Me: (Reads letters) Yes, it was a tie. The current world record holder for longest sniper kill is British_ _and everyone (at least from the fanart and fics I've seen) agrees that England's brothers are badass_. _(Reads another letter) OMG, SOMEONE ACTUALLY GOT THE REFERENCE. I mean, yeah, the tactic __that Ireland used was from a short story called 'The Sniper'. It's about a sniper in the Irish Civil War who got shot in the arm by another sniper, so he had to play dead to get him with his revolver._

_Nezumi: (Walks in with a huge box with a letter on top)_

_Me: What's this? ._._

_Nezumi: It's from Scotland-san._

_Me: (Takes letter and reads with the best Shrek impression I could manage) 'Thanks fur th' com__pliment, lass. There's a gift fur ye an' yer friends in th' box. Don't lit mah wee brother touch it. __From, Scotland.' (Opens box) O_O Oh my gosh... Scones._

_England: =_=_

_Me: (Hands them out and keeps one) Thanks, Scotland!_

_England: (Smacks the scone to the floor before Bri could take a bite) =_= I thought we were going to ignore that request._

_Me: We were until I decided to be mean. ^^ I don't own Hetalia. Never will._

_Oh. Here's a list of nations still in the house:_

_Axis: All genderbent_

_Allies: Everyone but America, genderbent (yes this includes Canada)  
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_Nordics: All genderbent_

_Sealand: Genderbent_

_Spain: Genderbent_

_Romano: Genderbent_

* * *

><p>"Sorella~!"<p>

Romano only had a second to think before she got hugged from behind by Italy. "Veneziano, what the hell?"

"Can we go to the zoo?"

"Why the hell would we-"

"Pleeeeease?" Italy gave Romano the best puppy eyes that she could muster.

Romano tried to glare the begging look down. She finally sighed a 'Fine.'

"Yay!"

America was suddenly behind them grinning. "Did somebody say zoo? I know just the place!"

One plane ride to New York later...

"Why the hell couldn't we go to Central Park Zoo, dammit?"

"It's Wednesday! The Bronx zoo always has free entry on Wednesdays."

Well that explained why it was so crowded. "Miser," Romano muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Romano glanced over her shoulder and sighed. "Why the f_ did we bring France along?"

France ran over at the mention of her name and put a hand on Italy's head. "I'm here to make sure you don't get in trouble, like what happened at Walmart."

Romano blushed furiously and point at America. "IT WAS _THIS_ DUMBASS WHO DID IT!"

"Hey!"

"I promise that Veneziano and I won't do anything stupid. Right, Veneziano?" When she got no response, Romano turned around. "Veneziano?"

Italy was staring at one of the monkeys in a cage. "I think it likes me, Romano!"

Romano facepalmed.

Later with France...

France was strolling around the flamingo area when she noticed something was off about the area.

Something blue.

"A peacock?"

The strange bird was not in a pen, nor behind glass. It was just out in the open, staring at France. It walked up to France, then suddenly jumped up and pecked the nation in the forehead.

"Ow!" France stumbled back before she noticed something in the peacock's beak. "...MY WALLET!"

The peacock seemed to smirk before it turned around and ran away. France, a nation who has been through a long enough history to not allow herself to be humiliated by a bird, ran after it.

Meanwhile in England house...

The Spanish anthem sounded throughout the living room. Spain picked up her cellphone without tearing her eyes away from the Spanish soap-opera.

"Hola? Spain speaking. What do you need? Ricardo is about to about to confess to Maria."

"Ve! Big Brother Spain!"

"Italy? What's wrong?"

"Sorella fell into the Sea Lion pit!"

Spain jumped up from the couch. "QUE?"

"I was asking if I could feed the Sea Lions but then I accidentally knocked her over and... I'M SORRRRRRY!"

"I'm coming, Romano!" Spain got up and headed towards the door. "Somebody record the ending for me! I need to see if Maria finds out about Carmen later!"

Now back in the Lion exhibit...

France was staring at the napping predator before her with wide eyes.

"Oh mon dieu..." France mouthed as she tried the door handle once again. It was still locked. So she did the best thing to do when stuck in a small space with something that could kill a man in ten seconds.

Call for help on speed dial.

"...What the hell do you need now, Frog? I'm watching Doctor Who."

"...Angleterre..." France barely whispered into the phone. "Call for help..."

"...What did you do now?"

France mumbled something in French as she continued staring at the sleeping lion.

"Could you repeat that?"

"I'm stuck in the lion's exhibit!" France whispered hoarsely into the phone.

"...How unfortunate." France could feel the smirk on the other end. "Out of curiosity, how did you end up in there?"

"The peacock threw my wallet through the door as a worker was coming out." Beeeeeeep. "...She hung up on me."

And that dial tone was just enough to get the lion's eyes to open.

Shortly later at the gift shop...

"How did you get here so fast anyway, Big Sister Spain?"

"Haha! Willpower!"

"And a jet."

"What was that, Romano?"

"Nothing, bastard- bitch."

"...You smell like fish, Sorella."

"AND WHO'S DAMN FAULT IS THAT?"

"Ve! I said sorry!"

Spain had rescued Romano from the terrors of the sea lion pit. Romano was thoroughly pissed off because said sea lions were whining at the fish-less Italian. So now they were trying to cheer her up by buying a plushie at the gift shop, since buying this colorful American ice-cream sort of treat called 'Dippin' Dots' didn't work.

Spain picked up a random plushie from the shelf and held it out to the grouchy Italian. Unfortunately, the plushie was a sea lion.

"...Put the damn thing back on the shelf before I throw _you _down there with its f_ing family."

Spain hurriedly put the plushie back on the shelf.

"Sorella! Do you want some dots?"

Romano smacked the sweet out of Italy's hands. This caused a random American walked by to slip on the ice-cream-treat and collide with a shelf of merchandise. The beads on the shelf fell off, causing another American to slip and knock over a rack of sunglasses.

Since the zoo was crowded on Wednesday, this happened again and again until Spain, Italy, and Romano were the only ones left standing.

"I think we should get out of here now..."

So they ran to the entrance of the zoo with an angry mob of disoriented tourists behind them. They were about to go the gate when they heard another mob. It was France, being chased by molested males and females alike.

There was also a noise coming from a third direction. It wasn't a mob, but it was as loud as one.

Everyone turned their heads and dropped their jaws.

The personification of the United States of America was riding on a rhino.

"WOOHOO!"

"ARE YOU S_ING ME?" Romano screamed out.

"HOP ON!"

As the nations escaped on the rhino, the tourists were complaining to the ticket-woman.

"Why don't you ban them?"

"It's free day."

Much later at England's house...

England stared blankly at the rhino America was waving from. If only he hadn't opened the front door.

"Hey, England!" America said with a huge smile. "I named him Thunder! Can we keep him?"

"..." SLAM.

Now for a little bonus in America's house...

America's new boss walked nervously into the Oval Office. His guards had told him that America usually had an initiation set up for the men who won the presidential elections.

Of what nature, nobody knew.

Mr. President went up to his desk and picked up the note there.

_Dear Mr. President,_

_Before I call you my totally awesome boss-dude, you got to go through some tests first. Go over to the arm-wrestling machine that's going to magically appear out of the wall on your right._

_-US of A_

Mr. President raised an eyebrow at the note, but saw the arm-wrestling machine at the wall that wasn't there a second ago.

From bottom to top, the levels of strength on the meter were: Baby, Kid, Tony, Normal, Sweet, Kickass, Reynolds, and Hero.

The president grasped the handle on the machine and tried to pull it down the best that he could. After 5 minutes, he gave up and the meter glowed 'Sweet'.

"D-Did I pass?"

As if it were his answer, a note popped out of the machine.

_Congrats on making it past normal._

_Now for the next test, out-dance the commie in Dance Dance Revolution. Don't give the paper that look, dude, just do it._

_-US of A_

The wide-screen plasma and the Cossack-dancing robot appeared from the floor.

The President facepalmed, wondering what on earth he signed up for.

**Me: Here's ****the next chappie~. Though I regret that it's a bit rushed. Anyways, Japan, since it's your birthday~.**

**Japan: Review, please.**


	31. National cotumes fest

_Me: Hi peoples! I have all my makeup work done and I got rid of my writer's block (I listened to some random song in polish and got an idea), so let's move this along!_

_Lithuania: (Hands over letters)_

_Me: (Reads several letters) Yeah... I have absolutely no idea where I got the President initiation thing from (I was **really **rushing last chapter). But wouldn't you think that America would evaluate his boss first with more than just voting? By the way, I'm a bit surprised that nobody noticed the 'Seven Little Killers' fanfic reference I managed to sneak in there. (shrug)_

_Me: (Reads another letter) ...It's not that you requested too many cosplays! ^^" They're on the request list, I'm just trying to think of a good situation/excuse to pull them out, you know? ^^"_

_Japan: (Has the cosplays in her arms)_

_Me: Not yet, Japan. ^^" (Reads another letter) Oh! I remember you! ^^ One of the comm buddies. :D Yes, that conversation was many many threads ago... How many threads is the 'Christmas' event again? Nearly 90?_

_Okay, I'm sorry I had writer's block on this, but I promise the next chapter will come quicker. I came across this meme that I **must **make Romano say, so one of the requests got to jump in line.  
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_Small treat for my friend Mattie (IchigoMelon on here). She wrote this fanfic based on an RP we did with two other friends called 'Bad Marriage: I Do Eh'. Go check it out. Please? :3  
><em>

_Anyways, I don't own Hetalia. Himaruya does._

* * *

><p>"Ve! Germany! Come here! Poland forgot some costumes in his room!"<p>

Due to several nations leaving England's house, the formerly full house had extra rooms in it again. However, this didn't mean all the rooms were cleaned out when said nations left. Which was how Italy found Poland's collection of national costumes.

Germany looked at the wide expanse of Poland's wardrobe. There were dresses, some outfits with shorts, dress-shirts, and skirts as far as the eye can see. 'It's almost as big as Japan's cosplay closet...' Germany thought in awe.

"Germany! Look! Poland has lederhosen in here!"

"...Poland had _what_?" Germany saw that in Italy's hands, was indeed, a pair of lederhosen. And the lederhosen were in Germany's size. 'Oh don't tell me-'

"I want to see how it looks on you, Germany!"

"No."

"But Germany-"

"No!"

"Is something wrong, Germany-san?"

Japan popped her head through the doorway. She was wearing cosplay from 'The World Ends With You', so she was wearing a cap over a reddish-brown wig, a red top, and a green miniskirt.

"Nothing. Italy just wanted me to dress up..."

"Why don't you?" Japan walked up to Germany and looked at the costume. "It's from your nation, isn't it? You should wear it with pride."

Germany sighed. "Fine. Fine." Germany left the room to go change.

Italy grabbed several national costumes and ran out the door with a "VE! LOOK AT WHAT I FOUND IN POLAND'S ROOM!"

Japan pulled down a white kimono from a rack. "Why did Poland-san have this?" Japan noticed a folded up note on the ground. "Nani?"

_Hungary,_

_we should totally get everyone to dress up like this eventually._

_It'll be, like, so fun!_

_-Love Poland_

Japan felt a smile tug at her lips and then went into the closet to change.

An hour later...

"NO! NO! YOU ARE _NOT _PUTTING ME IN A DRESS!"

"Not without the scarf on your head, at least."

"NORGE!"

Iceland and Norway were trying to put Denmark into the traditional dress that Italy had given them. Not only because Denmark had forced them into their dresses already, but because it was funny.

"Norge! I don't want to!" Denmark said with a pout on her face.

Norway shoved the dress over the upset nation's head. "Too bad."

Denmark was in a dark blue dress with thin red and white lines all over it. There was another red skirt underneath and a red vest over it. The vest was had green edges and white buttons. Denmark glared when Norway started tying the scarf over her hair.

"Whhhy?"

"Because you forced Sweden in a dress. Again."

Said Swede was waiting outside of the door. She was, once again, forced into her traditional dress against her will. At least Finland was dressing up too...

"H-How do I look?"

Sweden saw Finland come out in a dress. It was a dress similar to Denmark's: long skirted, vest over it, long-sleeved. Finland's dress consisted of only light blue and white.

Sweden stared at Finland.

'F'nland looks s' cute...' Sweden thought. 'Sho'ld I t'll her th't? Sho'ld I t'll her sh' looks f'ne? No. Sh' m'ght th'nk I don't c're... But...' Sweden felt her face heat up. 'I don't kn'w wh't t' say!'

"Huh? Su-san! Are you okay?"

**Me: I'm so so so sorry this chapter is so short! I didn't want to make you guys wait any longer! (Gah, I'm losing my touch. ^^")  
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**Romano: Learn to hurry the hell up then!**

**Me: Fine! Anyways... review, please!**


	32. Water Battle Royale

_Me: (Runs in) Hi peoples~ As promised, I updated faster this time!_

_Romano_: _Because of a meme._

_Me: Yes, because of a meme. Anyways, (reads one review) ...Uh... I ship anything really. SuFin just happens to be in my Top 15 pairings~. ^^  
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_I don't own Hetalia, I never will._

* * *

><p>America was upstairs digging around England's attic. He had always wondered what was up there and today was his day to find out what.<p>

The first thing he noticed was that there were dusty paintings everywhere. They were mostly of old monarchs that America didn't know and/or give a crap about.

The second thing that he noticed was that there were old toys everywhere. Rocking horses, teddy bears...toy soldiers... America vaguely wondered why someone as old as England would have them up there.

The last thing that America noticed was that there were boxes. Everywhere. Just _perfect _for digging through.

America opened a box and brushed the cobwebs aside.

"Whoa..."

He pulled out a sword. It was lying on top of a captain's outfit. A _pirate _captain's outfit.

"WHAT THE BLOODY _HELL _ARE YOU DOING UP HERE?"

America jumped and hid the sword behind his back. "Nothing...?"

England sighed and held out her hand. "Give me it."

America reluctantly handed England the sword. "Why do you have all this stuff anyways?"

England looked down at the sword with an almost longing look on her face. "I used to be a pirate."

"Really?" America looked at England with the same amazed look he gave him centuries ago. "That's so cool! You used to be so badass then!"

"Yes I was- What do you mean 'used to be'? I still am!"

"_Riiiight._"

"That's it!" England grabbed America by the ear and dragged him to the living room where everyone was gathered.

"You!" England pointed at Spain. "And you!" She pointed at Denmark. "Battle royale."

Denmark and Spain stared for a moment before wide, wild grins spread across their faces. Romano nearly jumped back while Norway almost wanted to join Denmark.

"Where will we do it?"

A paper airplane suddenly flew in through the window. Germany picked it up and read it out loud.

"'Did you guys know that you can fill the Colosseum up with water and have water battles? It's already filled up for you guys. With love...'Not Roman Empire'."

"..."

"Ve~. I wonder if 'Not Roman Empire' knows Grandpa Rome! I bet they would be great buddies!"

One flight to Rome later...

The stage was set. The Colosseum was filled to the brim with water. Spain was smiling away on her Spanish galleon ship, Denmark had her arms crossed on her enormous viking ship, while England was just standing proudly on her ship.

She was wearing her old captain's outfit. Considering that England was somewhat shorter as a girl, the outfit was a bit large on her. The only thing that stopped France from laughing was the fiery look in her eyes.

"Are you two ready?" England asked. Her crew, which consisted of the Allies, glanced nervously at each other.

"Listo!" Spain replied. Her crew were the Axis and Romano.

"Let's do this! This is going to be so awesome!" Denmark shouted. Iceland shook her head, not quite understanding why the other Nordics were so excited to play on a boat.

"Alright then..."

Then, all at once, the three captains ordered 'FIRE!' Three cannonballs exploded out of the ships.

CRASH. CRUNCH. CRUNCH.

Two of them hit England's ship while the other nailed Spain's ship dead-on.

"Alemania! Status report! What's the damage?"

"They shattered the structure on the bottom of the port side."

"Translation, potato-bastard?"

"The left side is broken. We might sink."

"Well, that's just _great_."

England ran to the side of her ship. "AMERICA! ARE YOU OKAY DOWN THERE?"

"I'M FINE!" SMASH. "THE FINE CHINA ISN'T!"

China rubbed the spot on her head where one of the plates fell. "...Ai...yah..."

"YOU BASTARDS! CHINA WAS COOKING TONIGHT!"

Denmark was laughing fiercely as she turned the steering wheel. Sweden and Finland were downstairs rowing the ship. "FIRE!"

BOOM. CRUNCH.

The bottom of Spain's ship was demolished. It was ever so slowly starting to sink.

"NOT AGAIN!" Spain cried.

"Suck it up you- VENEZIANO! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Romano yelled at her sister, who was half-way into a life-boat.

"Ve! But Sorella! The boat is sinking!"

"A good crew stays on!"

"But Romano-"

"VADA A BORDO, CAZZO!" Romano snapped.

Italy flinched at the phrase, but got back on board. She started mumbling in Italian about something along the lines of 'I don't want to be like that captain, Romano...'

Spain was climbing onto the mast and looked down at his ship. "Denmark! I thought we were aiming at England _together_!"

"We were! Change of plans!" Denmark steered the ship straight toward England's.

France stared out at the viking ship with an almost bored expression. "...I _know s_he is not going to ram us."

England looked into Denmark's eyes. "She is." England looked back at France. "You can jump overboard, you know."

"What about you?"

"A good captain goes down with his ship."

"...This is not an adventure movie, and you are not Jack Sparrow."

England glared. "I know that, Frog! Can't I still try to look noble just this once?"

France sighed and smiled. "Whatever you say~."

England turned back to staring at the tip of the viking ship heading toward her. "Come and get me."

CRUNCH.

Denmark's ship was crushed in the front of it, and England's starboard side had a huge dent in it.

However, England's boat was the only one not sinking.

England let out a victorious laugh. "I WIN!"

WHAM.

England did not expect to be knocked overboard by a certain silver-haired Nordic holding an oar.

"No. We win." Iceland stared blankly at France. "...Why didn't you stop me?"

She shrugged.

England started flailing her arms in the water. "HELP! HE-HELP! I CAN'T SWIM!"

"What kind of pirate can't swim?"

"...One Piece pirates?"

"This isn't One Piece. This is real li-"

"COULD YOU STOP STANDING AROUND AND SAVE ME?"

America jumped off the ship and into the water. He grabbed England and started swimming to the rope ladder that France dropped on the side of the ship.

"Is she alright?" Iceland asked.

"She looks knocked out."

France leaned down. "Should I give her mouth-to-mouth?"

America grinned, imagining how angry England would be when she woke up. "Do it."

France bent down, took England's body in her arms, pulled the shorter nation up for the ki-

SMACK.

"YOU BLOODY PERVERT!" England jumped out of France's arms. "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD ACTUALLY MOLEST ME IN MY _SLEEP_."

"It was the kiss of life, Angleterre!"

"I nearly had a heart attack with _you _doing it, Frog!"

Meanwhile on the sidelines of the Colosseum...

Rome was eating popcorn as he sat there with Germania.

"That was amazing! I knew this was a good idea!"

Germania shook his head. "Who's going to clean this mess up after they're finished?"

Germania sighed as a mop was shoved into his hands.

**Me: FINALLY! IT'S DONE! (Confetti!)**

**Romano: ...All this for an excuse for me to say 'Vada a bordo, cazzo'. -_-**

**Me: It's a completely valid excuse!**

**Romano: Sure... Keep telling yourself that... Review, dammit.**


	33. Into the Mess

_Me: (Walks in) Hi peoples! Thanks to the lovely readers of this crack fic!_

_Rome: (Hands the letters)_

_Me: (Reads letters) ...For those who don't know, it actually is possible to fill the Colosseum up with water. The ancient Romans used to have hydraulic mechanisms underneath the Colosseum so that water from nearby aqueducts would fill it up and drain it __later. They had water battles sometimes, but it's not common knowledge._

_Me: (Reads another letter) ...Howard? Ok... England! Get your spy in here!_

_Howard: (Walks in) Yes?_

_Me: (Sprinkles Author-genderbending-powder) You've been requested._

_Howard: W-What?_

_Me: To the catapult! (Launches)_

_Howard: Waaaaaaaaait...! (Twinkle)_

_Me: (Reads another letter) The 'Vada a bordo, cazzo' meme... Well, remember that cruise that crashed in Italy? The one with the captain who... 'fell' into one of the lifeboats? Well, it became a meme immediately afterward because the captain of the coast guard told the ship's captain said that phrase. By the way, the literal translation is 'Get on board, dick' but a better translation would be like 'Get the f_ on board'... I'm going to hell for that._

_Rome: (Nods)_

_Me: Well, I was scheduled to go to hell anyways~. Now I can be lazy, just point at the t-shirt and say 'I used that too soon' when they ask 'What are you in for?' (Reads another letter) ...IT HAPPENED AGAIN. EVERY TIME I TRY TO BE UNEXPECTED. EVERY. FREAKIN'. TIME. (Laughs) I read a review, it says a surprise I planned ahead **months **ago, and I go 'CRAP! HOW CAN THERE BE SPOILERS ALREADY? I DIDN'T EVEN START THE SEQUEL YET!' X'D Anyways, let's get this show on the road-  
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_Nezumi: (Walks in and tugs sleeve)_

_Me: What?_

_Nezumi: From Matt-nee._

_Me: (Reads really long review and smiles) Thanks. (Pockets letter) Anyways, Rome?  
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_Rome: Bri doesn't own Hetalia. Or Into The Woods._

_Me: ...Yeah, someone requested they do a play and my Drama class just finished Into the Woods... I'm **definitely **going to hell for this. Thank you to the reviewer who requested this. XD I love parodying._

_Warning: Chapter will be long, anyone who watches/takes part in this play later will never see it the same way again, crack pairings, and more confusing than usual.  
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><p>England sighed as she looked at the fellow nations in her house.<p>

"We're broke again, aren't we?" America asked.

"Yes," England answered. The entire room groaned. "Don't react like that! I'm positive there's some way to earn money without having to get jobs again!"

"Oui! People love the arts, why not perform for them?"

"What play are we going to do then?" America asked.

"Sh-" England began.

"Don't say Shakespeare." America ordered.

"And why not?" England crossed her arms.

"How to put this lightly... It's _waaaaaay _overdone."

"Well what do you suggest?"

"...How about Into the Woods? I mean, if a bunch of kids can do it, why not us?"

"We don't have scripts."

Suddenly, America pulled out a box full of scripts with an instrumental CD for each.

England grabbed a script and looked inside. "...We don't have enough people for this."

Sealand pulled out her cellphone. "I'll call some friends, desu yo!"

England tried to think of another excuse. "...We don't have enough men for this show."

Sealand pulled out England's wand. "I can fix that!"

"S-SEALAND! WHERE THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU GET THAT?" The wand started glowing. "NO! SEALAND! DON'T YOU DARE-" BOOM.

The night of the show (three days later)...

The curtain split open. The stage was dark and there were 6 figures standing there.

A spotlight shone on the Italian girl on the far side of the stage. "Ve~. Once upon a time..." The music started. "In a far off kingdom..."

"I wish!" A spotlight shone upon girl with messy brown hair, a bandage on her nose, and thick eyebrows to the left of the stage. She still vaguely wondered why the hell she was doing this and why she was a girl in the first place, but she continued singing for the crowd of girls staring at her.

"Lived a pretty maiden~."

"More than anything! More than life!"

"A sad young lad."

Another spotlight fell on center of the stage. There was a Japanese girl-dressed-as-a-peasant-boy with a female Spaniard in a cute cow costume. "I wish!" the girl sang.

"And a childless baker."

"I wish!" The last spotlight came upon the couple on the right of the stage. The man was tall, blonde, and would-be-scary-looking if it weren't for the pink apron he wore. The woman was petite, blonde, and had short hair.

"And his wife."

Finland resisted the urge to protest as she kept singing.

Australia sang about how she wanted to go to the festival the king was giving. Japan sang about how she wanted Spain to give some milk, to which the Spaniard just shrugged. Sweden and Finland sang about how they wanted a child, the blush growing on each of their faces as they did so.

A blonde and two younger white-haired girls (well, one of them was a girl. The other just looked like one) strolled onto the stage.

"You want to go to the festival?" the blonde deadpanned.

"The poor girl's mother had died..." explained Italy.

"You wish to go to the festival?" all three deadpanned. They deadpan-chattered until they all said in unison "The festival? The _king's _festival?"

"And her father had taken for his new wife...a woman with two daughters of her own."

The three snarked at Cinderella's (Australia's) appearance and started deadpan laughing.

"They were all meanies..."

Germany hissed from backstage, "That's not your line!"

"J-Jack on the other hand no father and his mother..."

A short Chinese woman marched on the stage. "I wish."

"She wasn't nice either." Germany facepalmed with the script.

"I wish my son were not a fool." China looked slightly amused as she said this while Japan seemed astonished. "I wish we had some rice, aru. I wish the cow was full of milk, I wish the walls were full of gold. I wish a lot, aru!"

Then on the right side of the stage, a little girl with pigtails and a red cape came into the 'bakery'. While Little Red Riding Hood (Sealand) started asking for bread for her 'granny', the step mother (Norway) told Cinderella (Australia) to pick lintels out of the fireplace if she wanted to go to the festival. So Cinderella (Australia) sang to summon some birds to do it for her. She raised an eyebrow as a kiwi waddled onstage and pecked at the fireplace.

"Who the hell was in charge of props?" England hissed backstage.

"New Zealand." Germany facepalmed with her other hand.

"Listen up, aru." Jack's Mom (China) said. "Milky White needs to be taken to market."

Jack (Japan), very awkwardly, hugged Milky White (Spain). "Mother, no! He's the best cow!" Spain smiled at the words.

"Look at her!" Milky White (Spain) gave her a look that said 'What the hell is that supposed to mean?' She pointed out out her flaws and finished it off with "And no one keeps a cow for a friend, aru!" She patted her 'son' on the head. "Sometimes I fear you're touched, aru!"

Right after Little Red Riding Hood left the bakery, someone else arrived. "Who could that be?" the wife asked.

"It's th' w'tch fr'm next door!"

A tall Russian woman in a cloak strolled onto the stage. She explained about how the baker's mother, when she was with child, wanted greens fromher _precious _garden. So the baker's father stole some. "I should have laid a spell on him. Right there. I could have turned him into stone, or a dog, or a chair... But I let him have the ramp and I lost the spare. In return, however, I said 'Fair is fair. You can let me have the baby that your wife will bear. And we'll call it square."

The Swede rose an eyebrow. "I h'd a br'ther?"

"Nyet!" The witch grinned. "But you had a siiister~."

"The witch refused to tell him anymore about his sister," the Narrator. "Not even that her name was Rapunzel."

The witch told that the baker's father stole special beans from her garden. When she took the baby, the mother died, the witch took the baby to a place where she'd never be reached, and she decided to lay a little spell on them. "You too, comrade~." She pointed at the couple, whom doubled over in pain. "That your family tree would allows be a barren one!"

Meanwhile, Jack's mother (China) told Jack (Japan... Jackpan *shot*) to sell the cow in the market, through the woods.

The witch said she needed ingredients for a potion. The cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, the hair as yellow as corn, and the slipper as pure as gold. With these, they were promised a child. With that, she left.

The carriage at Cinderella's house arrived. "Our carriage waits!"

"Now may I go to the festival?" the Australian asked as she held up the pot full of lintels.

"The festival?" her step-mother (Norway) asked. She deadpan sang to the beat. "Darling, those nails. Darling, those clothes. Lintels are one thing, but, darling, but those. You'll make us the fools of the festival and mortify the prince."

"Your carriage is waiting," someone offstage said.

"We must be gone." She hurried off while the Australian just sighed.

Back on the other side of the stage, the baker (Sweden) was getting ready to leave.

"Look wh't I found 'n f'ther's h'nting jacket."

"Six beans."

"I w'nder if th'y're th'..."

"Witch's beans..." his wife answered. "We'll take them with us!"

The Swede's face darkened. "No. Y' are not c'ming."

They argued about whether or not the wife was coming. The baker left mumbling the list of ingredients.

Meanwhile Cinderella (Australia) decided to go visit her mother's grave in the woods. So the baker (Sweden), Jack (Japan), Cinderella (Australia), and Little Red Riding Hood (Sealand) went off into the woods to get their wish.

And the members of the audience just sat there trying to register what just happened.

**Me: *Finally closes the damn Youtube tab* My heeeeead... And this was only the prologue... Should I even continue this request...? God. Who requested this thing? I know it was one of the frequent requesters... *Checks reviews* phatcaliforniadreamin**...**From freakin' chapter 24... Sorry this request took so long. ^^"**

**America: Dude! Why am I not the main character?**

**Me: I was half-asleep when I wrote the list of roles, okay!**

**America: Review.**


	34. Into the Mess: Part 2

_Me: Hi peoples! Since some of you actually want this to continue, the show shall go on! *Pulls out script*_

_Nezumi: Wait, weren't you only on props crew, Bri-san? How did you-_

_Me: Shhhh!_ _In case any (many) of you were confused, Into the Woods is more or less one big fairytale crossover. ^^" With Cinderella, Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and the Beanstalk, Rapunzel, __and this little couple who just want a kid. I've cut a few lines out for the sake of length, but I'll try to keep it understandable-ish. I don't own Hetalia or Into the Woods._

_Oh, as for roles... so far: Sweden- Baker, Fem!Finland- Baker's wife... yes that's the actual name of the role. Fem!Russia- the witch, Fem!Italy- the Narrator, Fem!Sealand- Little Red, Fem!Japan- Jack, Fem!China- Jack's Mom, Fem!Spain- Jack's cow, Fem!Australia- Cinderella (for those who've read Scandinavia and the World, this will make slightly more sense later), Fem!Norway/Fem!Iceland/Kugelmugel- Step-family, Fem!Germany is an actor and stage manager, America is an actor and director, and New Zealand is props crew._

_*Reads over script again* Note to self: Next time someone requests they do a play, make it a different fic. Just one scene takes for freakin' ever to write. I might have to cut out the special ship tease gags I planned for Act Two... *sigh*  
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><p>The audience was still pretending to turn off their cellphones when the lights went back up again. The Italian Narrator was still in her corner while Cinderella (Australia) sat on the ground before a tree.<p>

"Cinderella had planted a branch at the grave of her mother," the Narrator explained, "and she visited so often, and wept so much, that her tears watered it... until it became a big tree!"

The girl onstage started sobbing to her mother's spirit about her wishes. Hair hung in her face and the ghost in the tree gave her a sympathetic look...

...well that's how it appeared to the audience.

To the people backstage, they could see Australia resisting the urge to laugh her ass off as she called England 'Mother'. England was glaring at her former charge as subtly as possible. England snuck a glance at Germany that very clearly said 'There's no way that I'm singing'. Germany replied with a look that said 'Oh yes you are.' England sighed and sang.

"Do you know what you wish? Are you sure that what you want? If you know what you want, then make a wish. Ask the tree, and you shall have your wish." There were several giggles from backstage from nations guaranteed to get a smack in the head once the show was done.

"Little tree, silver and gold throw down on me." England ungracefully threw a dress and a pair of shoes over the tree. "OW. I didn't mean literally, mate!" Then Australia actually saw the shoes in her hands.

Gold_ heels._

"I'm off to get my wish!" Cinderella (Australia) ran offstage while Cinderella's Mother/Tree (England) snuck off behind the set. If the front row listened hard enough, they could hear a faint '_Heels? _New Zealand, you _ass_!'

Jack (Japan) and his cow (Spain) entered the stage. The youth was nervous looking, so being the good pet she was, Spain snuggled up. This only made the Asian onstage feel even more awkward, but the show must go on.

To pay for England's house.

"It's very quiet here, Milky White..."

Suddenly, a man jumped out from behind a tree in front of them. "Hello, Jack," he said.

"How do you know my name?" Japan had tried sounding scared, but her voice just came out flat. The Spaniard on the ground translated whatever Japan was trying to convey into one 'Oh crap' face.

"On your way to market?"

"Y-Yes. I'm supposed to sell my cow. No l-less than five pounds."

"Hahahaha! You'd be lucky to sell her for a sack of beans!"

Before the youth could say another word, the man disappeared. Jack (Japan) dragged his cow offstage muttering "Come along... There are spirits here..."

A little blonde girl in a red cape (Sealand) skipped onstage. She was stopped by a 'wolf' that popped up from behind a bush.

Said wolf was a bearded blonde man wearing nothing but furry pants and wolf ears.

"Hello, little girl~."

"Hello, Mr. Wolf."

She tried to skip off again, but the wolf jumped in front of her. "Whither away so hurriedly?"

"To my grandmother's." She tried leaving again, but was stopped.

"And what might be in your basket?"

"Bread and wine so Grandmother will have something good to make her strong."

"And where might this grandmother live?"

"A good quarter of a league further into the Woods, her house stands under three large oak trees."

The music was about to start and he forgot his lines. But that was fine. He was clever, he could make something up. He grabbed the little girl in a tango position and began.

"Hello, little girl~. What's your rush? Regardez les fleurs. Vous avez beaucoup d'heures. Take your time-"

The little girl got out of his grip. "Mother said 'straight ahead!' Not to delay or be misled~!"

He brought her back into his tango. "But slow, little girl. Calme, s'il vous plait. The birds are singing sweetly~. You'll miss the birds completely! You're traveling so fleetly!" He twirled her around and let her go.

"Mother said not to stray, still I suppose a small delay..." Her eyes brightened up as the wolf brought out a rose. "Granny might like a fresh bouquet!" She took the rose and continued skipping off. "Goodbye, Mr. Wolf!"

He waved her off. "Goodbye, little girl..." He grinned at the audience. "And helloooooo~" he sang sweetly. He let out a howl and ran offstage.

The Baker (Sweden) and the witch (Russia) walked onstage, staring off after them.

"He's g'nna h'rt th't l'ttle girl..."

"Forget the girl and get the cape!" the witch snapped.

"How?"

"You go up to the little thing and you take it, da?"

"I c'n't steal fr'm a l'ttle girl! Y' d' it!"

"I would if I could, comrade, but I can't! Now get the-" The witch was cut off as very quiet, yet pretty singing started offstage. She had a huge, sweet smile on her face. "My Rapunzel~. My little sunflower... so pretty..." She glared at the baker. "Get me what I need!" She hurried offstage.

The Swede shook his head. He mumbled about how this was ridiculous how he would never get the ingredients. Mixing up the descriptions of said ingredients as he went. His wife came out from behind a bush and started chanting the correct ingredients.

"Cow as white as milk... Cape as red as blood... Hair as yellow as corn... Slippers pure as gold-"

"Wh't are y' doing h're? I thought I t'ld y' t' st'y h'me!"

"...You... uh... forgot your scarf?" She wrapped a thin scarf around his neck.

"Y' h've no b'siness being h're."

She pouted. "I want to help!"

"Th' sp'll 's on _my _house."

"_Our _house."

In the midst of their bickering, Jack (Japan) and his cow (Spain) reappeared onstage. The wife (Finland) noticed them first and put a finger to the taller's lips. "Cow as white as..."

"Milk," they said together. "Hello there, young man!"

"Hello."

"What might you be doing in the forest with a cow?"

"I was heading toward market, but I appear to have lost my way..."

"What are you planning to do there?"

"Sell my cow. No less than five pounds."

The Swede gave his wife a panicked look that said 'We don't have that much!' She thought for a seconds before she came up with an idea.

"Beans!" she said loudly as she pulled the witch's beans out of her husband's pocket. "We mustn't give up our beans! Well... if you feel we must..." The baker raised an eyebrow, Jack (Japan) tilted his head to the side, and the cow (Spain) looked up at her master. "Beans will give you food, son."

"Beans in exchange for a cow?"

"Oh these are no ordinary beans. These beans carry magic."

"What kind of magic?"

"Tell him, honey." She nudged her husband.

"...B'yond descr'ption."

"I don't know..." the youth said nervously.

"You'd be lucky to sell her for a sack of beans!" a voice offstage yelled. Everyone turned their heads, but missed whoever said it.

"...How many beans?"

"S'x-"

"Five!" the wife corrected. "We can't part with all of them."

Jack (Japan) looked down at the cow (Spain) beside him, who offered a sad smile. "Could I buy my cow back someday?"

The baker shrugged.

The youth awkwardly got down and looked the cow in the eye. Backstage, Germany was holding a sign that said 'LOOK SAD'. Japan frowned slightly. Germany scribbled on the sign, so now it said 'LOOK SADDER'. Japan leaned forward so that her hair could cover her face. She sang her goodbye, but before she could run offstage, the passionate Spaniard gave her a kiss on the forehead. She blushed deeply and ran offstage.

The baker scolded his wife for using deceit, but the wife explained that they would need to take what they need in order to have a child. She was ordered to take the cow and go home, again.

One brief blackout later...

There was a girl with glasses up in a tower. She was singing sweetly, oblivious to the world around her.

The witch strolled over with a bright grin on her face. "Rapunzel~!" The girl continued singing. "Rapunzel!" The girl still wouldn't listen. "Kolkolkol..." The Russian kicked the side of the tower. That got her to stop.

"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair to me."

Rapunzel tossed her hair down. Unfortunately, it landed right on top of the witch's head.

"Kolkolkol...!"

"Eep!"

While the witch was climbing up to kick Rapunzel's ass- I mean, to see her precious prize, there was a man who appeared on the other side of the stage. He had white hair and a grin on his face.

"Rapunzel. What a weird name. Weird, yet awesome enough for me. Tomorrow before that bitc- witch arrives, _I'll _be the one to ask her to let her hair down to _me._"

Another blackout later...

Little Red Riding Hood (Sealand) was trying to skip by again, this time, she was stopped by the baker (Sweden).

"H'llo, l'ttle one."

"Hello."

"Wh're'd y' get th't c'pe?"

"My Granny made it for me!" the girl answered proudly.

"I would l've a c'pe l'ke th't..." he said as he got closer.

"...You'd look pretty stupid, desu yo."

The Swede took the cape. "M'y I t'ke a look at it?"

"I don't like to be without my cape! Please give it back!"

He was about to reconsider when the witch's voice ordered him to get the cape. He ran off. The little girl was was just left there.

So she started crying. Loudly. Like, '5-year-old who didn't get her pony for Christmas' sort of loudly.

The baker ran back on and threw the cape over her shoulders. "J'st w'nted t' m'ke sure y' _really _l'ved that c'pe!" The girl glared at him. "Now g' t' your granny's... and m'ke sure no w'lf c'mes your w'y..."

"I'd rather have a wolf than you any day!" Then she kicked him in the shin really hard. The man doubled over as she ran offstage.

While the Swede was breathlessly singing his lines, the people backstage were scolding Sealand.

"You weren't supposed to _really _kick him..."

"Oops..."

Another blackout later...

"...As for the little girl, she was surprised to find her grandmother's cottage door standing open," the Italian Narrator said.

The little girl approached the bed that had a disguised predator in it. She went through the whole 'Granny, what big *insert body part here* you have' routine and got eaten. The wolf, afterward, took a nap as the baker came in.

"Th't granny sn'res loud..." He took a good look at the bed. "Wait a m'nute...Th't's not a granny."

He rescued the little girl from the wolf's stomach... Don't think too hard on that...

"Ewww! What a fright! How dark and dank it was inside that wolf!"

About two seconds later, an Italian man in a bonnet and a nightgown popped up and immediately started strangling the wolf in his bed.

"KILL THE BASTARD!"

"Granny! That's not your line!"

"Shut up, kid. This perverted bastard needs to get his ass kicked. Get me a knife!"

"I'll j'st leave y' tw' al'ne then..." the baker said as he tried to get away from the pissed off Granny.

The Granny looked the baker up and down. "You're big. Help us kick his ass."

"No, no, y' d' it."

"'The hell kind of hunter are you?"

"'M a b'ker!"

After a short song about how she learned her lesson, Little Red Riding Hood finally gave up her cape to the baker.

Meanwhile at Jack's house, his mom threw out the 'magic' beans. They didn't know it would grow into a beanstalk...

Yet another blackout...

The baker's wife (Finland) was heading home with Milky White (Spain), when a girl in a ballgown ran onstage and fell flat on her face.

"...Stupid heels..."

"A-Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"That's a lovely dress you're wearing. Were you at the King's festival?"

"Yeah..."

"What are you doing in the woods at this hour then?"

Suddenly the sound of very loud trumpets burst out from behind them. The Australian dived behind a bush as a Danish prince and his steward (who vaguely wondered why he was a boy and why he was doing this) ran on. The baker's wife bowed down to the royalty before her.

"Have you seen a beautiful young woman in a ball gown pass through?"

"No..." she answered from the floor.

The two ran off while the girl came out from hiding. The two chatted, the wife wanting to know how the ball was life, Cinderella (Australia) rambled about how everything was 'too grand'.

"What I wouldn't give to be in your shoes..." the wife looked down at said shoes. "I mean slippers... as pure as gold!"

A bell tolled that it was midnight.

"I must get home!"

"Wait!" Cinderella ran off. "I need your shoes!" Then the cow nonchalantly walked off while sticking her tongue out at the baker's wife. "Hey! Come back here!"

One midnight was gone, two to go. One item found, three to go. And the lights faded out.

**Me: *sighs* LONGEST. CHAPTER. EVER. I have _got _to stop writing this thing at 3 am!**

**Romano: Why the hell am I the Grandma!**

**Me: Nobody's more suited for Grandma than you! You've done it before!**

**Romano: *death glare, then looks at the audience* Review, dammit.**


	35. Into the Mess: Finale

_Me: (Walks in) Hello again, peoples! I'm sorry I took so long, helping a friend with a collab. Trying to rush through this play (which is now a One Act) so that I could reach the deadline I'm looking for. Yes, deadline. Very special day. I'm sure some of you will notice. Especially those who have been here since the beginning of this fic and the end of the prequel.  
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_Nezumi: You? With a deadline, Bri-san? (Snickers)_

_Me: Hey! (Reads reviews) It appears Grandmano was the highlight of last chapter. Just as planned. (Reads another review) ...THAT LINE WAS WRITTEN IN COMPLETE INNOCENCE AND IT WAS THREE IN THE MORNING. DON'T TWIST MY WORDS, FUYU-TAN._

_France: *Thumbs up*_

_Me: (Reads another letter) ...Glad length didn't hurt the quality, because this chapter's gonna be much much longer... (Trying to squeeze the rest of the first Act in here) And somewhere, the writer of this play is crying... (Reads another review) ...Sure! It was like whoohoo dot co dot uk. My friend gave me a link there when I was writing that chapter. It has several accents, but be sure to cut it down first and be careful what you write next time! (No room to talk as I write this at 2:30 in the morning)  
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_Nezumi: (Hands review-letter) Read it._

_Me: (Reads letter) ...'You made my day.' The most beautiful words in the world~. (Reads another letter) Fem!Romania? I'll make it so. (Reads a final review) Nations as Pokemon? (Points at Pokemon Mystery Dungeon crossover on semi-invisble poll on profile for months) I'm waaaaay ahead of you. ^^"_

_France: Bri does not own Hetalia or Into the Woods. If she did, she would actually know what she's doing. (Like not leave a girl to play a male role when she's not sure of which pronoun to use)_

_My one warning: LONG. AS. HELL.  
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><p>The lights came up and Jack (Japan) immediately ran on singing about how there were giants in the sky.<p>

He stopped when the baker (Sweden) appeared and ran up to him with, notably strained, enthusiasm.

"Good fortune, sir!" The youth chirped. "Look what I have! Five gold pieces!"

The Swede's eyes widened.

"I had more, but my mother made me surrender them. She allowed me these five to do with what I please." With a glance around, the question "Where's Milky White?" came up.

"At h'me with m' wife."

"Let's go find them!" He... she... the youth grabbed the taller man's hand and tried to lead him to whatever direction the house might have been in.

"Wait!"

The youth's head tilted. "I thought you said I could buy her back. Are you saying you wish more money?" Before the Swede could say a word, the five gold pieces where shoved into his hands. "Keep this. I will fetch more." And Jack (Japan) ran offstage. Backstage, she started apologizing for the rudeness of her character.

The baker looked at the money in his hand. "...Five g'ld pieces... I could b'y s' much with th's."

"But could you buy yourself a child?" A man in a cloak popped out of nowhere. The hood of the cloak was concealing his face.

"Wh' are y'?"

"How badly do you want a child? Five gold pieces? Ten? Twenty?"

"I can't p't a pr'ce on 't."

"Exactly." He walked over and snatched the money. "You've not thought about many things, have you?"

"Hey! Give th't b'ck!"

"The money isn't important. What's important is that your wish is honored." The mysterious man vanished once again into the woods.

"Get b'ck!" He sighed as his wife appeared from the bushes, yet again. "Wh't are y' doing h're?"

"I see you have the cape!" the Finn said with a huge false smile.

"Yes. N'w w' only need tw' items left."

"Three!" she said with equally false enthusiasm.

"...Tw'. I h've th' c'pe and th' cow."

"...You have the cape!" The fake smile was still in place.

"...What h'ppened with th' cow?"

The smile finally slipped off her face. "She ran away. I never reached home. I've been looking for her all night."

The man facepalmed. "Should've kn'wn..."

"Hey! She could have just as easily run away from you!"

The couple started arguing about whether the cow would run away from the big scary Swede or not until the witch (Russia) finally came out and stepped in.

"Who cares? Get the cow back!"

"We were just about to do that! Here, take the cape-"

"Nyet! I don't want to touch it!" A sweet singing stopped the witch from scolding them more. "My sunflower calls~. Get everything. BY TOMORROW NIGHT." She stormed off.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's f'ne. Get h'me." And he left.

Before the wife could leave, though, a fanfare erupted. Out of the woods appeared two richly-dressed young men, each with confident grins on their faces. The princes. The wife threw herself to the floor in a bow. Neither prince noticed this beyond their combined awesomeness.

"There you are, Bruder," the prince with white hair said awesomely. "Father and I were wondering where you went."

"I was looking all night for..." The prince with spiky blonde hair epically looked out to the audience. "...Her."

"Her?"

"The hot one I danced with all night." Backstage, Germany facepalmed and asked if anyone even bothered reading the script.

"Ohhhh! Where'd she go?"

The blonde sighed. "She ran away."

"Pffffft."

"Shut up. I don't see _you _with a date."

"Actually," the albino smirked. "I found a hot chick too. She lives here in the Woods."

The blonde raised an eyebrow. "In the woods?"

"Ja! In a tall tower without any windows or doors."

"_Where?_"

"Two leagues east of here. Anyways, she's _so _cute! Like a little Birdie!"

"How the hell do you visit if there aren't any doors?"

"I just go up to her tower and go 'Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair to the awesome me!' Then this long-ass wall of hair as yellow as corn comes down and-"

"Rapunzel? What kind of name is that?"

"An awesome one!"

"You liar."

"She's about as real as your chick! Who the hell would run away from," he winked to the audience who started squealing, "us?"

"This girl. I don't get it." The Dane took a deep breathe and started yelling- I mean, singing. "Did you see anything bad from this Dane? Why does she run from me...? And if I should lose her, how shall I regain the heart she has won from me?" Breathe. "AGONYYYYY! More than I bear to feel... When the one thing you want..." He facepalmed. "Can outrun you in heels!"

"High in her tower, she sits by the hour, just waiting there for me~!" the albino yelled- I mean, sang. "With her awesome long hair and here shy little air, she sings like a birdie~" He sang out her melody, only for it to come out like a rock song 'AAAAAAAH'. "AGONYYYYY, WAY MORE AWESOME THAN YOURS!" The other prince gave him a 'Bitch, please' look. "When you know she would go with you... if there only were doors!"

"Agonyyyy, what a bitch she could beeeee." they both sang. "What's as intriguing or half so fatiguing as what's out of reach?"

The blonde crossed his arms. "Am I not badass and awesome and sexy and handsome and strong and as sweet as I'm smart and heir to throne?"

"You are almost as awesome as I am!"

"Then why no?"

"How should I know?"

He smacked his forehead. "The bitch must be nuuuuuuts."

"No, man, you don't know crazy... 'til you're climbing her hair and you see her up there and nearing her, all the while hearing her." The albino prince let out another rock star yell.

"Agony! Misery! Oh how the feeling suuuucks." They yell-sang together.

"Always ten steps behind!"

"Always ten feet below!"

"Such is a prince's luuuuck. Agonyyyy, that's magic like a heeeex." The two grinned at each other. "I must have her, for-"

Something backstage crashed and both princes gave the stage manager a 'What the hell just happened' look. Germany shrugged, and gave England a thumbs up behind her back.

The two nodded to each other, than ran offstage. The wife finally got up from the ground.

"Oh wow... Two princes each more awesome than the other..." The Finn shook her head. "No! Get the hair!"

Then a Chinese woman came onstage calling for Jack.

"Excuse me, aru. Have you seen a boy with a stoic disposition that answers to Jack?"

"Does he like a white cow?"

"That's him."

"Have you seen the cow?"

"I don't give a crap about the cow, aru." She sighed. "Children can be so strange about their animals," she said honestly. "You be careful with your children, aru."

The wife looked out to the audience with a sad smile and a huge sweatdrop on her head. "I have no children..."

The Chinese woman looked out in the same direction, confused as to what they were looking at. "...That okay too, aru."

"Ahem... well, I haven't have your son today."

"Aiiiiyaaaaah! He better not be up that beanstalk again, aru! Quit while you're ahead!"

They both left. The baker came onstage calling out for the cow. The mysterious man went onstage with the missing cow at hand. The baker rejoiced just long enough for the man to hide again. Once the baker left, the man came out along with the witch.

"What are you doing?" she snapped.

"I'm here to make amends!"

"Stay out of this, pig!"

"I'm here to see your wish granted."

"You've caused enough trouble, _comrade. _Stay out of it!"

The lights went out. When they came back on, there was a maiden with long hair and glasses up singing in a tower. The Finn snuck up to the tower and cleared her throat.

"Rapunzel! Rapunzel! Let down your hair to the awesome me!"

The girl stopped. "Is that you, my Prince?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"...**Yes.**" She said this in the manliest voice she could manage. She was amazed that it worked, because a long curtain of hair appeared before her. "I'm sorry for this!" She yanked out a strand of hair and wore it around her neck like a scarf.

Then Cinderella (Australia) ran onstage and fell flat on her face. Again. One of her shoes flew off, which the wife quickly snatched up.

But she quickly held it away at arm's length.

It stunk like _hell_. It was like something _died _in that heel.

"...You sure spend a lot of time on the ground." the wife observed.

"Oh, g'day." She sighed. "It's these heels. They're not suited for running. Or dancing."

"I'd say those slippers are as pure as gold."

"Yeah. They _are _pretty." She took her shoe back. The Finn was secretly grateful that the odor of the shoe was away from her.

"What I wouldn't give for just one..."

"One won't do you much good, mate."

The wife asked about the ball again. It was still too extravagant and the prince was still chasing her. Just as she said that, a fanfare erupted.

"Got to go, mate!" Cinderella (Australia) stood up.

The wife grabbed hold of her shoe. "And I have to have your shoe!"

They had a tug-o-war match over the heel. Sadly for the Finn, the shoe got shoved in her face in the middle of the struggle.

'OH MY GOOOOOOSH. MY NOOOOOOOSE DX' Finland mentally yelled. The shoe slipped from her grasp. "Wait! I need that to have a child!"

The Australian gave her a WTF face and ran off. The Danish prince and his steward from Seychelles ran onstage. The wife threw herself to the ground in a bow again.

"Where did she go?" asked the steward.

"Who?"

"Don't play dumb!" the prince ordered.

"The girl in the dress?" She pointed in the opposite direction. "She went that way."

They ran off, just as a crowd ran on. It was Cinderella's family. Including the short father from Wy, who readjusted his fake mustache.

"Where did he go?" the blonde woman asked.

"Who?"

"The prince, of course!" Cinderella's father (Male!Wy) answered.

She pointed in another random direction. "That way. But you'll never catch him."

"We would have..." the shorter sibling (Kugelmugel) said.

"If the guy with the cow didn't stop us," the other sister (Iceland) finished.

"Guy with a cow?"

The Swedish baker came on with an ear of corn in one hand and the leash to a cow (Spain) in the other.

"Please! Let m' compare th's t' your hair!" The family ran off. "I thought y' went h'me."

"You found the cow!" his wife cheered.

"Hn. Now w' need tw'."

"Three!"

"No. Tw'."

She gestured the hair see was using as a scarf around her neck. "Three~!"

"Wh're...?"

"I pulled it from a maiden in a tower!" she answered proudly.

"Three..."

"Well, I almost have the fourth but she got away."

"W' h've a day. W' c'n get it by then."

"_'We' _as in I can come along?"

"Well...It will t'ke th' tw' of us t' h've a child."

Backstage, France started laughing. The Nordic actors onstage started blushing while the Spaniard was smiling obliviously. They blushed harder as they started singing about it would take the two of them to lift they spell, then they would spend the rest of their lives together with their child. By the time it was over, the cow was clapping and a very random sight indeed walked onstage.

There was a fairly pissed off female German in a chicken suit with a golden egg in her hand. The roaring laughter in the audience just barely over-powered the laughter backstage. Even Japan could barely say her line as she came onstage with a smile hidden behind her hand. Germany smacked the golden egg into the almost-grinning Swede's hand and went backstage. She gave off a 'Screw this, I'm going to the dressing rooms' vibe that immediately got everyone to shut up.

The youth noticed the cow trying not to laugh and went over to her. "My Milky White!" She looked up at England to she her holding a cue card that said "KISS HER". Apparently Japan had an alarmed look on her face, because the cue card now read "THE SCRIPT SAYS KISS HER HEAD". Japan sighed and bent down to kiss the Spaniard's forehead, however the cow leaned up and kissed her nose instead. There was more giggling backstage as Japan's face turned pink.

Meanwhile the couple were freaking out over the golden egg in their hands. The youth let the slip about the five gold pieces that was to be used to buy the cow, the wife became furious, and the poor baker was stuck trying to explain to both of them.

"Moo!"

Everyone looked at the cow, who let out a cough. She rolled over onto her back, feet in the air and tongue sticking out.

"Milky White is dead!"

The couple facepalmed. "Two...!"

Yet another midnight was gone, one to go. Two items found, two to go, one unattainable. The lights went out...

...You thought they would really get off that easy? Hun, please~. This is only the third scene! To think all of this takes weeks to write out while it only takes about ten to twelve minutes on a stage each scene.

Insert maniacal thespian laugh here.

Ahem... Moving on...

When the lights went back up. The baker and his wife were on stage. The Italian woman on the left side of the stage let out a "Ve~" so that the audience would remember she was still in this show.

"Two midnights gone. And the exhausted baker and his wife buried the dead Milky White." Then the Italian looked down at the floor. "Ve... Poor Big Sister Spain!"

The Swedish baker sighed and ran a hand over his face. "...G' get another c'w."

"And what do you suppose I buy it with?"

He pulled out their last bean from his pocket and smacked it into her hand. "Tell 'em 's magic."

"Nobody with a brain bigger than _this_," she held up the bean, "is going to exchange a cow for a bean!"

"Th'n steal th' c'w!"

"_You _were getting mad at _me _two days ago for using deceit!"

"D' y' want a child or n't?"

The wife sighed in frustration. "I think you'd better get the cow. I've meet the girl with the golden slipper, I think I might be able to retrieve it."

"Hn."

Once the two split up, there was a scream. It was a very quiet scream, but it was still there.

"Sadly for Rapunzel," began the Narrator with a startled look on her face.

"No!"

"The witch found out about the Prince before he could take her away." The temperature in the theater dropped a few degrees. "Veeee... She seems mad... or General Winter has finally arrived and found his seat..." The Narrator fled the stage as the witch dragged Rapunzel in behind her. The witch had a pair of scissors in her hand.

"What did I tell you? Children must listen, da?"

Rapunzel was (quietly) screaming 'No' over and over. The witch started singing about how Rapunzel must have been ashamed of her and how the world outside is dangerous. Just before the witch dragged Rapunzel off again, she promised that she will show her a place she's seen before. The sound of scissors snipping filled the air.

The narrator came back on trembling. "H-Holy crapola that was scary..." She looked sadly at the audience. "After the witch sent Rapunzel away to Siberia, she went back to the tower to take the prince by surprise. He jumped and..." The albino prince stumbled across the stage with a hand over his eyes. "Hurt his eyes really badly."

Cinderella (Australia) came onstage and sang about how the prince was actually smart enough to leave a trap on the stairs of the palace so that her shoe would get stuck. She mused with how he might actually like her. After the song, the baker's wife came onstage.

"Not you again!"

"Please, just listen to me!"

"Listen to you attack me again? No thanks, mate."

"I didn't attack _you_. I attacked your shoe. I need it."

"I already gave up one shoe tonight, I need this one."

"But I need your to have a child!"

"The hell?"

The fanfare started in the distance. The Finn sighed and took off her shoes.

"Here. Take my shoes, you'll run faster." They traded shoes.

Australia got boots, while Finland was stuck with the smelly-ass golden heel.

"FINALLY!" They both ran off and the lights went out.

When the lights came back on, the couple were onstage with all of the items... sorta.

The witch strolled onstage, her cloak flowing behind her. "The third midnight is near, comrades. Do you have all of the objects?"

"Yes!" She gestured to the cow.

The witch raised an eyebrow and gave them a 'Are you serious, hun?' look. "That doesn't look like a cow as white as milk to me."

"It is!"

The witch knocked the cardboard cow over with the back of her hand. "..."

"We _did _have a cow as white as milk."

"Where is she then?"

"She died."

"W' thought y' might pr'fer a live c'w."

"Of course I'd prefer a live cow!" The witch sighed. "Bring me the dead cow, I'll bring it back to life."

The couple's eyes widened. "You can do that?"

"Da. Now hurry up!"

The Swede went offstage to get the cow just as Jack (Japan) and his mother (China) came on with a harp.

"Jack! There you are! I've been worried sick, aru!"

"Look at the pretty harp I have."

"You've stolen too much, aru! That plant and that giant could have killed you!"She shook her head and walked off.

From offstage, the baker complained about how heavy 'she' is. The witch groaned and went offstage.

The youth's head tilted in confusion. "What's happening?"

The baker, the witch, and Milky White walked onstage. Milky White smiled brightly and rushed over to her master.

"Milky White! Now I have two friends, a harp and a cow."

"Quiet!" the witch snapped. "Now feed the objects to the cow!"

Everyone's eyes widened. "What?" Except for the Spanish cow. She gave the witch a look that said 'You gonna what now? ._.'

They started reluctantly feeding the cow the items. The witch pulled out a goblet.

"Fill this."

Jack started milking the cow... but the goblet was still empty.

"You can forget about that child, comrade."

"But we did everything you wanted! We have the cow as white as milk, the cape as red as blood, I pulled the hair as yellow as corn from a maiden in a tower-"

"YOU DID _WHAT_? I TOUCHED THAT HAIR! I CAN'T HAVE TOUCHED THE INGREDIENTS!"

The couple facepalmed.

Then the mysterious man emerged from the woods. "The corn!"

"Huh?"

"The hair from your corn! Pull it out and feed it to the cow! Hurry!"

The baker scrambled to do so while the witch glared at the man. "This had better work, pig, or your son will be the last of your flesh and blood."

The baker's eyes widened. "Son?"

The man took off his hat to reveal wheat-colored hair and glasses. "Please, not now."

The witch smirked and gestured to the man. "Da. Meet your father."

"F'ther?"

The man sighed. "Yes, yes. 'Dude, I am your father.'"

Before the two could say anymore, the cow started groaning.

"It's working!"

The witch grabbed the goblet and gulped down the potion. She ran offstage as the man started coughing and collapsed to the ground. The baker ran to his father's side.

"All is... repaired..."

He feel limp in the Swede's arms. And random America flags unfurled in the background.

The witch strutted back onstage. Only her cloak and her old appearance was gone. She was in a purple dress, and she looked gorgeous.

The lights went out.

When the lights came back on, the couple, the boy with his cow, and the witch were frozen onstage. The narrator came in and cleared her throat.

"And so the mysterious hero died, having helped end the curse. For the Baker, he won't get a family reunion, so he and his went home wondering 'What on Earth just happened?'" The couple left the stage. "The witch, who was punished with ugliness the night her beans were stolen, was now pretty again." The witch smiled at the audience then left the stage. "And Milky White, after a night of a bad tummy-ache, was finally reunited with the now-rich Jack." The two left. "As for the Prince... he began his search for the foot to fit the golden slipper and went to Cinderella's house."

Cinderella's step-family, the prince, and the steward appeared onstage. First, the shorter of the sisters tried on the shoe. It didn't work, so the step-mother (Norway) invoked the... non-Disney version to get one's foot to fit in a shoe.

As she started limping pass the tree Cinderella cried to, the spirit in the tree shook her head.

Since she was _not _singing this time (after all, everyone else screwed up their lines), she just shouted out "WRONG BRIDE. MR. KIWI, ATTACK!" New Zealand's pet ran onstage, made the step-sibling take off the shoe, and chased them away.

The prince brought the shoe to the other sister. Same thing happened. Mutilation of the foot, the limping into the sunset, getting chased off by a kiwi bird.

The prince brought the shoe back. "...Don't you have any more daughters?"

"Just the maid."

"Let me see her."

Cinderella (Australia) came out and tried on the shoe. Perfect fit, despite being annoying heels.

"This is the true bride."

The narrator smiled. "And Cinderella and the Prince rode off~." The new couple left and Rapunzel in much shorter pigtails came onstage. "Rapunzel was out living in Siberia until her prince aimlessly wandered toward her. Rapunzel started crying tears of joy that restored the prince's vision."

The witch approached them with her arms crossed. "I _was _going to get you once you learned your lesson."

Rapunzel (Canada) tilted her head. "Um... who are you?"

"Come on. I know best."

"..._Mother?_"

She gestured to her new appearance. "This is what I really look like, Sunflower. Come with me. We can be happy together." She offered a hand.

The prince held her closer. "She's mine!"

"Let her speak for herself!" However, Rapunzel shook her head. "You're the only family I know. Come with me." The answer was still no. "I have no choice then."

She tried zapping them... Nothing happened. She tried again.

"The witch is pretty now," the narrator said, "but powerless."

The witch started chanting 'Kolkolkol' in frustration and left.

"Both of the princes wed, and..."

As the cast started filling the stage, the wife came out with a pillow underneath her shirt.

"Ve~. And it all came to pass, all that seemed wrong was now right... the kingdoms were filled with joy... and those who deserved to were to live a long and happy life. Ever after."

The final musical began, and then finally, the whole cast bowed.

America stepped out from the crowd. "Give it up for our light crew, Romania!"

A spotlight shone onto the catwalk, where a girl with fang and a funny hat was waving down at the audience.

"And on sound, Egypt!"

Egypt waved from the sound booth. The sound started freezing, so she gave the stereo a swift smack.

"And finally, our props guys, New Zealand!"

New Zealand came out and bowed with Mr. Kiwi.

Sometime afterward...

"_Finally_. That took _forever_."

"When's the party we're supposed to have afterward?"

"_Heels_, New Zealand!"

"Did any of you even read your bloody scripts?"

"Ve~! Germany looked funny in that chicken suit!"

"We will never speak of that again, Italy..."

**Me: (Totally collapses)** **Over 5000 words... 5000... I'm sorry for taking two weeks, I hope 5000 words make up for it... This is... THE longest chapter I've ever written... I hope you enjoy it. ^^"  
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**Finland: Review, please!  
><strong>


	36. Concerts, lasers, and costumes

_Me: (Strolls in) Hi peoples! Glad you enjoyed last chapter (however long it was). With that done, I only have a few requests left. And look! We passed the 800 review mark! :D  
><em>

_Germany: (Walks in with review-letters)_

_Me: (Smirks) You stole the show, love~. Best half-asleep decision I've ever made._

_Germany: (Glare)_

_Me: ^^ (Reads a letter) ...I'm sorry Fem!Romania didn't get a longer appearance. ^^" I **was **planning on using her for the Second Act (as Snow White, I think), but my brain was like 'akjdsghfgfa BRO, IT'S ALREADY 3 CHAPTERS LONG. X_X NO SECOND ACT', so she was (ironically) placed in lightning crew. She'll have more appearances, don't worry._

_Nezumi: *Ahem* Bri-san..._

_Me: Yes?_

_Nezumi: Read this. (Hands over review-letter)_

_Me: ... (Facepalms and throws papers into the air) Gyaaaah! Dammit dammit dammit! I can't do it! Plan is cancelled! I was planning to end this on the year anniversary, but I can't do it. (Reads another letter) Philippines...? **Male **Philippines, no less? Crap... (Researches) Uhhhhh... There are two Philippines on this wiki. ._. Great, from what I've seen (that wiki, the Philippines from the doujinshi 'Maaf', the look I got at the Philippines fanclub on deviantart, and several more pokes around DA) Philippines is... free-spirited. Free-spirited, close to America, Spain, Mexico, and the other Southeast Asian nations. Uh... I'm not familiar with Philippines but... I'll do my best! ^^"_

_Character whom I've screwed up before (Mexico): (Facepalm)_

_Me: (Reads another letter) Any children in the audience...? o_o Anyone here younger than 12...? If yes, then I'm doubly grateful I didn't put the second act. (Reads another letter and tosses cookie to Himochi) Gimme the sheepie~ :D (Holds out arms)_

_Germany: Keep going! We're on a schedule!_

_Me: Fine. -.- (Reads a final letter) No no! It's fine, love! It's fine! ^^" (Flails arms) That was the kind of request that gave me the good type of exhaustion, the kind that makes me think I've done something of legend! It's alright for you to make requests! I'm not ending this yet and at the moment I only have 6 requests! Wait... (Sprinkles chibi-powder on Fem!Australia and tosses her over the Fourth Wall) 5 requests. ^^"_

_Germany: Bri does not own Hetalia, Hidekaz Himaruya owns it. Nor does she own any of the anime that will be referenced in this chapter. I don't even think she watches half of them...  
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_Oh. List of nations still in the fic: Allies (Russia, China, Canada, and England are still genderbent), the Axis (all still genderbent), the Nordics (Finland, Norway, and Iceland still genderbent), Prussia (ungenderbent), Romania (genderbent), Wy (genderbent), Seychelles (genderbent), Spain (still genderbent), Romano (finally ungenderbent), Australia (genderbent), New Zealand (unknown), Egypt (genderbent), Philippines (who was in charge of costumes for the play, genderbent into a guy)._

* * *

><p>"Germany, you're in charge while we're gone."<p>

"Understood."

"Make sure nothing is broken, the house is still in one piece when we return, and for Pete's sake, make sure Sealand doesn't go anywhere _near _my wand again."

With all money they made from the play, the nations were finally able to spend a little extra on themselves. France had suggested going to a concert that would occur later that night, but America protested by saying he'd rather go play laser tag. They made a compromise; some nations go to the concert, some go play laser tag, and some stay at home.

...I bet Switzerland would be _proud_ of their wastefulness.

The moment the door closed behind the other nations, Sealand let out a loud groan. "I'm bored already!"

Romano crossed his arms. "What do you want _us _to do about it, kid?"

Sealand pouted. "Entertain me, desu yo!"

Romano scowled. "Oh _hell _no."

Italy, however, immediately bounced up to Sealand and started chattering rapidly. "Ve~! We can play games and watch movies and draw and make pasta, I prefer making pasta myself but you can help! Or we could jump around and make white flags and keep the author's plot moving and take a siesta and go to the moon and sing karaoke-"

"Can't. The karaoke machine broken."

Into the room walked in a boy with dark hair and tanned skin. He had a slightly disappointed looking smile on his face. "Oh well, there goes my night."

"Ve! There must be _something _to do!"

Japan thought for a moment before she smiled. "I believe I have an idea..."

Meanwhile at laser tag...

"Okay, bro! Listen to me, the hero, and you might survive the battlefield!"

"Whatever you say, America..."

Canada sat in the middle of the laser tag field as America stood before her, like a teacher about to begin a lecture. America's gun lay forgotten on the ground as he walked around, while Canada had her gun ready in her hands.

"First rule of laser tag, do not talk about laser tag!" the American proclaimed.

"Got it." As she said this, she nonchalantly took down an enemy about to shot her brother from behind.

"Second rule of laser tag, stay on guard at all times!"

"Whatever you say, America." Canada did a shot over her shoulder, somehow nailing someone behind her.

"And the third rule of laser tag, you're my backup!" He picked up his gun and struck a hero pose.

Canada rolled her eyes. "Of course. America, to your left."

He saw Wy attempting to aim at him. "Thanks!"

"Nooooooooooo!" Australia jumped out in front of the principality.

"...Why are you moving so slow?"

"Dramatic effe-" ZAP.

Meanwhile back at home...

"I'M GOING TO KILL THAT JAPANESE COSTUME-BASTARD!" yelled the Italian dressed as Xianghua from Soul Calibur.

"Calmate, Romano!" Spain said as she held him back.

"WHY THE F_ CAN'T CHINA WEAR THIS STUPID COSTUME?" Romano reached up to yank the wig off his head.

"Uhh... Because China isn't here?" Spain was dress up as Rinoa from Final Fantasy. She spun around and played with her cape-like jacket. Romano was not amused.

"Stop that. You look like a dumbass-"

"Fratello!" Romano got glomped by a blur of pink. "Don't I look cute?"

Romano glanced at his former-brother dressed up as Estelle from Tales of Vesperia. Because of the pink hair and the light pink jacket, he responded with "You look like Poland threw up on you."

"That's mean, Romano..."

Germany sighed. She was dressed up Celty from Durarara, so if she tried facepalming, she'd only hit a helmet. She glanced around.

Sealand, who was dressed as Yui from K-On, was trying to get Iceland, who was dressed up as Eve from Black Cat, to address her as the senior of the two again. Egypt was standing in a corner, trying to hide as much embarrassment of her Yoruichi costume as possible. New Zealand was trying to see if the Crona cosplay looked good. Japan, dressed as Hideyoshi from Baka to Test, went over to Germany with a smile on her face.

"I knew there was something to do."

"Ja. This at least kept them occupied."

"Though... It _is _getting rather late... I wonder where the others are."

From behind them, Philippines had Japan's phone in his hand. "Pssssssssst."

No reaction.

"Psssssssssssst."

Still no reaction.

"Hoy! Japan!"

Finally, Japan turned around. "Yes?"

"Phone's for you."

"Ah. Thank you." Japan took the phone and listened to China's exasperated voice. "You ended up where...?"

Meanwhile at laser tag...

America and Russia finally found each other on the battlefield. Each were behind cover, had their guns at ready, and were smirking at each other.

The whole room was frozen in anticipation. At least for a while, anyways.

Canada facepalmed. "Oh my gosh... it's like the Cold War all over again. With more lights."

Prussia crossed his arms and groaned. "Verdammt! Just shoot already!"

ZAP. The target on Prussia's chest lit up. The guns immediately went back to their positions aiming at the nation across the room.

Prussia frowned. "Not awesome, guys."

Meanwhile in... prison?

"You just _had _to grab the man's arse, _didn't_ you, Frog?"

"It was tempting and worth it~."

"Did you _have _to _climb _onstage to do it though?"

"Oui!"

Romania sighed. "We would have gotten away if I had enough magic to make wings."

Norway stopped playing the 'Jail Harmonica' for a second to answer. "Because a girl with bat wings carrying off seven people is _completely _subtle."

"It would have worked!" Romania protested.

The door to the prison opened. Japan, dressed up as Trucy Wright, stepped into the room along with...

"...Is that Phoenix Wright?" asked Seychelles.

"It's just Philippines, aru," China corrected.

"Who cares? He's wearing a suit. He can get us out!"

Then a security guard from the concert came in. "Hey! You two aren't allowed in here!"

"Ha?" Philippines turned around and scratched his head. "Uhhh... I'm their lawyer? Can we just skip to the part where I say 'Objection!', win their case, and get them out?"

China facepalmed.

"I'm afraid not."

"Too bad." Philippines pointed at the guard. "OBJECTION!" Suddenly the guard was knocked over. "WHOA! HOW THE-"

"It's the costume. Come on." Japan explained calmly.

Later...

The other nations in the house jumped as the front door slammed open.

"Hey, what took you so long?" America asked.

England glared. "We went to a concert, grabbed a rock star's ass, got arrested, got rescued by a Filipino in a Phoenix Wright costume, and got pardoned of all charges by my own country. I have _every right _to be late."

Before the American could respond, England dragged herself upstairs.

**Me: Phew! Not bad for a headache! Well, until next time! Review!**


	37. Movie night

_Me: (Walks in) Hi peoples. It has officially been one year. One year since I ended 'It's a Small World After All'. One year since I ran in here with a microphone asking if you remembered me. I've experienced a lot in that year. I've lost peoples, I've gained peoples, I've experienced pure joy, I've experienced pure hell through just words for the first time in ages. And it's all thanks to you, peoples. ^^ Love you~.  
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_Prussia: (Awesomely brings in the review-letters)  
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_Me: (Reads a letter) No. We shall never know what New Zealand and Crona are. XD New Zealand is a kiwi and Crona is a... Crona. (Reads another letter) You're welcome, Zetta~. ^^ I'll get right on those. (Reads another letter then spazzes) D-Does this mean that I wrote Philippines more correctly this time? Nobody's mad at me for messing up this time? Hm... Apparently I write Philippines better when she's genderbent. Anyways, you're welcome. ^^ (Reads yet another letter) 'Who won laser tag?' ...Well, it was a tie._

_America: Aw._

_Me: You two got dragged out by the owner for staying after closing time. ^^ (Reads another letter) ...Pixar marathon, huh? Ohhhh, perfect! I was missing a good scenario for the chapter! Thanks, E! (By the way, the in process of picking the movies for this chapter, a Hetaliazied parody of Ratatouille was, somewhat unwillingly, created. Thanks.) Now let's get this party start-  
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_Prussia: Wait. You missed one. (Tosses review letter)  
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_Me: I did? (Carefully opens letter) 'One more thing. Do you mind if I call you Onee-chan (big sister)?' ... (Starts blushing) O-Of course you can call me Onee-chan! I don't mind! It's cute! I always found it sweet when someone says 'Onee-chan/Onii-chan' or 'Senpai'! (Spazzes shamelessly) Ehehe... Anyways, take it away, Prussia!  
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_Prussia: Remember, I'm way too awesome to be owned!_

* * *

><p>"Like hell we're watching that lame movie!"<p>

"Well, what do you suggest then?"

"La Vita E Bella!"

"Haven't you watched that movie already, Romano?"

"It's a good movie, dammit!"

They had all noticed that England actually owned a DVD player with the expected exchange of "Whoa, how long had that been there?" and "The entire time, idiot." Now they were attempting to put it to good use, but they couldn't agree on a movie.

"Can't we just watch some Disney movies?" America suggested. "Everybody loves Disney!"

There were several mumbles around the room, but nobody disagreed.

"So... What do you want to watch?"

"I would say Mulan if Korea hadn't broken my DVD in the last fic, aru."

France had a broad smile on his face. "How about Ratatouille?"

England crossed his arms. "You just want to hear them compliment your cooking."

"Non! I want to see it because it's a sweet film!"

"Okay, Ratatouille. Anything else?"

"Cars 2-"

"No," Germany, America, and Romano deadpanned.

"But-"

"_No_."

"Up!" There was murmur of agreement.

"The Incredibles!" America shouted proudly.

"Dare I ask why, America?" England asked as she rolled her eyes.

"Because it's a movie about heroes and I'm a hero!"

"We're watching Up."

"Awww."

They all gathered onto the couch and stared at the television. As the intro the movie played, England scowled.

"Although each of the world's countries would like to dispute this fact, we French know the truth. The best food in the world is made in France-"

"LIKE HELL IT IS!"

"Oh hush, Angleterre!"

"America, your country made the movie! You enjoy my cooking, right?"

"Uhhhhh..."

"Forget it!"

As the movie played, nearly everyone took at least one opportunity to take a jab at England's cooking. England's face grew more and more red as this continued, until finally someone said something along the lines of 'We should get England a cute pet chef too'.

"Alright! I get the picture already!" She stood up and stormed out. "I'm going to my room!"

America jumped up and ran after her. "England! Wait!"

The furious nation made it a few steps up the stairs before her former-charge grabbed her hand. England halted and sighed.

"England... It was just teasing. What are you so mad about?"

"The first time, I let it slide. The second time, it was rather cute. But I draw the line at _twelve _times!"

"England, I promise that they won't do it again!"

England thought for a moment before shaking her head. "No! I'm still leaving!"

America gently pulled England's hand and the elder flew into his arms. Their eyes widened as their lips collided. Meanwhile, everyone at the couch was watching the clumsy chef be forced to kiss his grouchy mentor.

Click.

England pushed herself off of the America as soon as she noticed the girl in the Revy cosplay holding a camera. The two blondes turned bright pink as Japan pocketed the camera.

"Y-You didn't see anything!"

Japan smiled knowingly. "Hmm. Of course not, England-san."

Japan went off back to the others as England cleared her throat.

America sweatdropped. "You taste like scones."

England's blush somehow deepened. "A-And you taste like hamburgers!"

By the time they got back, they walked into this line:

"I hate to be rude, but we're French."

France turned around in his chair and raised an eyebrow. "What did you mean by that, Amerique?"

America rubbed the back of his neck. "Uhhh..."

"Tell me, _what did you mean by that, Amerique~?_"

About an hour later...

They were all watching Up. The screen was filled with misty mountain tops while the audience went 'Woooow'.

"They were really accurate with this, America." Spain said with a nod.

"How would you know, Spain?" America asked with a tilt of his head.

"Well I _was _an explorer~!" Spain said proudly.

America's eyes widened. "You mean you _conquered _that?"

"Si!"

"Cool! Was the view nice?"

"Uhhh..."

_Flashback time..._

_The Spanish Empire looked out at the great plateau with a look of pure awe. He was standing over the world. With a curtain of rushing water covering the mountainside a mere feet away.  
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_"This is amazing!" the Spanish man said.  
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_The little girl representing the nation he conquered shook her head. "I wouldn't stand so close to the edge if I were you, Senor Spain."  
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_Spain let out a mighty laugh. "It's just some running water! I'm conqueror of the New World! I'm invincible-!" _

_Then he slipped.  
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_The world got flipped upside down before the Spaniard shut his eyes. He shouted before he felt something wrap around his ankle.  
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_"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! DX"  
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_"You're not falling anymore, Senor Spain. -_-"  
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_Spain opened his eyes to see that he was being held up by the ankle by his colony. He smiled nervously and tried to laugh it off.  
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_"Ahaha... I knew that..."  
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_"Whatever you say, boss."  
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_"Just pull me up! ^^"  
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_End flashback...  
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"Si, it was a very nice view," Spain said flatly._  
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5 Pixar movies later...

"Alright, alright, that's enough. Time for bed."

The weary nations remaining got up and trudged off to bed.

Except for two.

Norway was resting her head on Denmark's shoulder as the other snored. Sweden looked at the two for a moment and reached out to wake them up and tell them to sleep. But then he just grabbed a blanket and covered them up.

He tilted his head before he lay the two down on the couch. Proud of his handiwork, he nodded. "Hn." Then he turned around and let the two Scandinavians sleep.

**Me: There we go~! You wouldn't believe the panic I've had for the past few days trying to write this. XD**

**Germany: You should plan ahead more.  
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**Me: Hey! I actually tried this time! Anyways, thank you peoples for supporting this for so long! Happy Anniversary! ^^  
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**Italy: Ve~ Review!  
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	38. Easy as mince pie

_Me: Hiiiii peoples! It seems like it was a good anniversary, lots of spazzing._

_Nezumi: (Comes with a huge pile of reviews)  
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_Me: (sighs) This is the fic that never ends~. Yes it goes on and on, my friends. Some derp was asking for requests, not knowing what it does. And now she'll keep on writing them forever just because... _

_Iceland: We warned you.  
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_Me: (Glances over reviews) Some of them are calling my Onee-chan and Senpai! (Spazzes)  
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_Nezumi: Bri-san. The reviews. ^^"  
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_Me: (Ahem, regains composure and reads a letter) The 5 Pixar movies they saw after Up was: Finding Nemo (Australia was highly amused), WALL-E, Toy Story 3 (with Japan embarrassed about her design for Woody. If you don't know what I'm talking about, go Google 'Japanese Toy Story Woody doll'), Monsters Inc (with many comments about the French closet that appeared for 2 seconds), and The Incredibles (after much requesting/begging from America). Mostly, the way I picked the movies for the chapter were 'Which one can I squeeze the most jokes out of?'.  
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_France: So you picked Ratatouille?  
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_Me: Hell yes, that thing is a freakin' goldmine. (Reads another review) The nation in Spain's flashback is Venezuela. Since the tepui mountains are in Venezuela. I tried to keep her as vague as possible because I haven't done that much research yet. (Continues reading the review) There was an objection to Cars 2 because, despite it being more international and being a goldmine of jokes, I felt there would be four characters who would complain through the whole thing. XD Germany and Prussia would complain about the Germanic, villainy, lemon car. America would complain because England would point out the similarities between him and Mater, that plus the fact that Cars 2 wasn't as popular here as other Pixar movies usually are. Romano had this entire gag planned where he would say 'The Italian car is an ass, a lady killer, and fast-as-f_. I like him.' but then would get all pissed off when it looks like he's losing. England would be fine with it since all the British spy cars were badass. (Reads the rest of the review) Oh my gosh... :D  
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_Nezumi: Uh oh.  
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_England: What?  
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_Me: Oh my gosh!  
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_Nezumi: Better head for cover.  
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_England: **What?**  
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_Me: OH MY GOSH! XD  
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_England: WHAT THE HELL IS IT?  
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_Nezumi: The reviewer just gave Bri-san enough material for a-  
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_Me: PRANK WAAAAR! OMG, MOUSY-KUN, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE I LAST WROTE A PRANK WAR?  
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_Nezumi: 2009, I think.  
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_Me: LET'S DO THIS! (Fighting face)  
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_Nezumi: Bri-san, you have an eating contest request to fill first.  
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_Me: ...Fine. THEN epic prank war. (Reads another letter) Write my own...? Uh... Well, I'm already trying to start my own webcomic (it can't count as a manga since I'm not Japanese) called 'The Friend'. It's not crack like you'd expect from me though. It's more like that Hurt/Comfort fic I'm writing... No, wait. Uh... It's more like Fruits Basket. With less romance. Yeah...  
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_Me: (Reads over one final review) ... Wow, Zetta. That means a lot. The compliments and what you're trying to do. As much as the very mention of the memory of that MST makes me sick to my stomach (hell, I'm trembling again and I feel like puking, no matter how many times I try to finish typing this within a week) and makes me want to cry, I don't want your well-prepared argument to fall upon deaf ears. Someone's already cussed them out, they didn't give a damn. They pulled the 'freedom of speech' card (after repeatedly stating that I should not be allowed to write fanfic. Hm, doesn't writing qualify as well in your 'freedom of speech'?). I don't want to see the peoples I've come to care about be shot down because they're defending me over something that happens to every writer. But remember, there's nothing physically stopping you. Wordpress doesn't need an account to leave comments and I can't block the URL in any way. You can go chew them out if you want to, even though I don't necessarily mean I approve. Just remember that it would be proving the Sad Anon right. It would be entertaining a troll. And that one of the sayings of this fandom is 'Make pasta, not war.' (Review makes me realize how hypocritical it is for **me **to say that) War with actual malice in it. Flame wars can be incredibly hurtful and tear fandoms apart until everyone's fighting on a side.  
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_Nezumi: ...Bri-san...  
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_Me: (Shakes head) Ugh! Welp! Time to get a move on! ^^" Iceland, would you do the honor?  
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_Iceland: Bri does not own Hetalia. If she did, maybe I would get more tourists.  
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* * *

><p>America picked up a burger from his pile on the table. "Okay! We need to find the right spell book to change all of you back to normal!" He stuffed the burger into his mouth and picked up another one. "Mmfph muh mmfph!" He stuffed the second one in his mouth and kept talking. "Mmph-"<p>

"America," England said.

"Hmm?"

"I can't understand a single word you're saying!" England walked up and took the burger from his hand.

America swallowed and pouted. "Hey! I was eating that!"

"How can you eat so much without getting sick?"

America laughed. "Because that's one of my superpowers!"

England shook her head. "You don't have any superpowers!"

"Yes I do~."

"Prove it then."

The room went dead silent. America reached out a hand to the pile of burgers, but England smacked it away.

"Not with those. You'll do it with _my _delicious mince pies."

"But it's only October-"

"WITH MY _DELICIOUS_ MINCE PIES."

America was about to groan at the thought of eating England's cooking. But then he remembered that England was still a girl.

And England's cooking was awesome as a girl.

"BRING IT ON!"

A lot of baking later...

Sitting before America on the table was a pyramid of mince pies that reached the ceiling. He stared at the pile with wide eyes.

"Wow... I had no idea mince pies were so tiny."

"Shut up and eat it, _hero_."

America picked up a fork and began.

"Oh gosh..." Spain said with wide eyes.

"Ve...The poor pies..." Italy said as said pies disappeared in an instant.

"How the hell, aru...?" China tried to say.

Within an hour, all of the mince pies were gone. The American without a hint of a balloon belly grinned up at the stunned nations.

England adjusted her glasses. "...I... what...just... Words fail me."

"What's for dessert?"

Several jaws dropped. "What."

Canada facepalmed. "No, America. No dessert."

America gave her the puppy face. "But why not?"

Canada shook her head and grabbed an abandoned napkin on the table. "At least clean your face first."

"Hey! Canada- Cut it ooooout!" America whined.

"Hold still and you get the banana-cream pie in the fridge."

"...We have _more _pie? Awesome!"

The other nations gave the calm Canadian a dumbfounded look as the American went to the fridge.

"He comes to my house sometimes for Christmas," she explained. "And both of our Thanksgivings... and drags me to his birthday parties... and calls me just to make him pancakes."

America pulled out a huge banana-cream pie from the fridge. He smiled at the others.

"What are you guys staring at? It's just a pie!"

He was about to bring it to the table when he tripped. The pan full of the creamy dessert flew into the air and most of the nations scrambled away, as they had experience that gravity was a harsh mistress. But inevitably...

SPLAT.

Romania's torso was suddenly covered in pie as America rubbed the back of his neck.

"Whoops. Sorry."

**Me: Welp. I finally fulfilled this tricky little request. And it sets everything up for something PERFECT. Sorry the chapter was short though because the Author's Note ate it.  
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**Nations: Oh boy...  
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**Me: Review, please! ^^  
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	39. This! Is! Prank War!

_Me: (Runs in with a huge grin on my face) Hi peoples! Chapter's up early for someone's birthday! Happy Birthday, Fuyu-tan! ^^_

_Scotland: (Half-heartedly tosses confetti and starts humming 'Loch Lomond')  
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_Me: This was a bit tricky to do with end of the year projects and other stuff eating up my writing time, but I'm glad I found time for it! Now... (Reads a review) How I write so well... *mumble* For crack: Distract the audience enough so that they don't notice the flaws, like a magic show. For non-crack: Be able to make the characters realistic so that the audience can connect and actually care, like a play. Well, so I've seen. (Reads a few other reviews) Hun, I've been doing prank wars LONG before I found the Hetalia fandom. ^^" Actually someone spotted the reference to my last prank war in here, though 'Bri and Suka' won't be making an appearance. I broke- ^^  
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_England: Chapter 14 of the last story.  
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_Me: Almost broke-  
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_England: Chapter 27 of this story.  
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_Me: Am trying to break the habit of inserting myself into my fanfics. =_= (Reads another few review-letters) Uh... It said Roman**ia**, not Roman**o**. Though, yes, they are all royally screwed over.  
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_England: Lovely. -_-  
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_Me: (Reads another few review-letters) (Panics) P-Please don't apologize! It wasn't delayed because of you! It was delayed because I had research projects on Joan of Arc, Lucky Luciano, and "Bugsy" Siegel, and a soccer player at the same time! (Feels at least a dozen eyebrows go up at the strange combination) As for the physical reaction... It's fine, Zetta. ^^ (Pets head) I still thought it was sweet, what you were trying to do~.  
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_England: (Ahem) Move it along. Deadline, deadline to write.  
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_Me: Right. ^^" (Reads another review) OMG. These ideas. They're beautiful. I'll use a few from each of you! ^^ Now... (Grins) Let's get this started.  
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_England: Bri does not own anything. If she did, the results would be disastrous._

* * *

><p>It was the dead of night as two lone nations wandered around the house. One was careful with every step, trying not to make a single sound. The other however...<p>

"Why are we doing this again?" the taller asked rather loudly.

"Shhhhh!" A finger was brought up to quiet the partner-in-crime. "Not so loud!"

"Then why are we doing this? I know we're all used to different timezones, but I'm pretty sure this is your 'too-early-to-do-quiet-undercover-stuff' time too!"

"Just go to the bathroom!" A small green bottle was pulled out. The slightly smaller nation quickly shoved it into the other's hands and hurried towards the stairs.

"You sure this is worth it?"

The answer was a mischievous grin. "I bet you 10 euros that it's worth it."

The next morning...

"Who. Did. This?"

The nations in the dining room turned their attention to England. She was only wearing two towels; one covering her up and one on her head.

"Did what, England?" America asked as he continued preparing his burger.

"You should know what, you gits."

England reached up and slipped the towel off the top of her head. Instead of the light brown hair that everyone was getting used to seeing on the Brit, lime green locks flopped down onto her back.

Several nations burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny!"

"But it looks so _good _on you, Limey!" America said between hoots of laughter.

England gave America a death-glare that once sent soldiers running.

"Come on, England! It's just a harmless prank!" America finally grabbed the bottle labelled 'ketchup' and squirted its contents all over his burger. He took a big bite of it, then made a disgusted look on his face.

"Is something wrong, America?" Canada asked.

America roughly swallowed the offending burger. "Oh my _god_! That was _nasty_." He sniffed the burger. "...Why does it smell like strawberries?"

Canada picked up the bottle of 'ketchup'. "This isn't ketchup. It's strawberry sauce."

America had a serious look on his face. "...Someone's going down."

"It's just a harmless prank," England echoed with a smirk.

"This is not a prank! THIS IS _WAR_! ...Or just a bad burger." He took another bite. "Ugh. Nope. It's war."

The morning after this...

France wasn't at breakfast that morning. He was sleeping in.

France wasn't worried about this 'war' that America and England seemed to have declared. He had nothing to do with it, why such he worry?

France sat up and stared at the door that was ajar. He didn't remember leaving the door open last night. He looked beside him to see that England wasn't there. France concluded that England must have left it open.

As he walked out of the room, Sealand ran by him. The little girl stopped in her tracks and turned to look at the Frenchman with raised eyebrows.

"...Quoi?" he asked sleepily.

Sealand covered her grinning mouth with a hand and ran off before she could burst out laughing.

France raised an eyebrow. Why was she laughing? He shrugged it off until he was in the bathroom and staring into the mirror.

"...So that's how you want to play, Angleterre..."

Someone had drawn a long curly mustache on France's face with a Sharpie. On his head was pink mass of sticky substance in the shape of Napoleon Bonaparte's hat. He poked it, praying it wasn't bubblegum.

Sticky. Cold to the touch. Some spots of white. Not bubblegum, thankfully. Silly string. He removed most of the mess from his head. There was a thin layer of white stuck to his hairline.

Silly string and glue.

"Well then, Angleterre. I'll play your game."

An hour later...

Finland's head tilted as she looked at the sign in the middle of the hallway.

'Go this way if you want the world to stop thinking your food is weird tasting.' Beneath the message was an arrow pointing to the kitchen's door.

'Are they talking about me?' Finland wondered. She thought back to every time Sweden or Sealand would refuse to eat the salmiakki she would offer. 'Guess that's a yes.'

The Finn opened the door to the kitchen. Suddenly she was surrounded by purple and a loud KLANK resounded in the kitchen.

"What the-?"

Finland tried rubbing the little bits of purple off of her clothes and hair.

"F'nland?" Finland turned around to see a surprised... well, she hoped that expression was of surprise... Sweden. "Wh' are y' c'vered in gl'tter?"

"I don't know..."

Meanwhile, hiding up in the ceiling, France was silently cursing the fact that his prank hit the wrong target.

Another hour later...

"G-Germany! What happened? That boxing glove is really old-fashioned-"

"I DON'T KNOW! JUST GET ME DOWN!"

Italy had walked in on a strange scene in the corridor outside one of the bathrooms.

Germany was stuck, with her arms spread out, to the wall covered in super glue. In the door-frame of the bathroom was a giant boxing glove attached to a wooden stick that had 'IKEA' carved into it. Italy didn't notice this little detail due to panicking over how to get Germany down.

"Veeee! How do I get you down?"

"I don't know! Try pulling!"

Italy grabbed Germany's waist and started pulling with all of her might. She put a boot-covered foot against the way and pulled harder. She put her arms down and was about to sit on the floor in exhaustion, but her foot was stuck to the wall too.

"Ve! I'm stuck too!"

By the time Japan found them, both of Italy's feet were stuck to the wall and Germany's torso was freed.

"Uh..."

"Japan! Germany got stuck to the wall then I tried getting him down then my boot got stuck then-"

"I think she can see that, Italy."

Yet another hour later...

Russia felt something wrong when she woke up.

For one, her hair was floating in front of her face. For another thing, she felt like she was about to fall at any moment. She didn't remember the ceiling being made of wood. And the door was on said 'ceiling'.

Then it hit her.

"The room is upside down!" She looked at all the furniture hanging over their exact positions on the ground. _Everything _in the room was stuck to ceiling. Including the nation in her bed.

"Wait a moment... how am I still in bed when I'm on the ceiling?" As an answer, the blanket started slipping out from between the mattresses. "...Kolkolkolkolko-" SMACK. "Ow... kolkolkolkolkol..."

America and Canada ran into the room and looked down at the fallen Russian.

"Russia! We can't find the Axis and everything is on the ce... oh, looks you found out already."

"You said the Axis did this, da?"

"Yeah..." Canada answered.

"Looks like I will get a chance to use this after all!" Russia pulled out her shovel from seemingly nowhere and advanced toward the door.

"Wait!" Canada stepped in front of the angry nation with her hands out. "I have a better idea!"

"Oh? You will explain it, da?"

So many hours later that some of the other nations caught on and took refuge under their beds...

"This will never work, aru."

"I'm sure it will."

"And what makes you so sure...uh...?"

"I'm Canada..."

"Oh. Sorry, aru."

Canada, America, China, France, and Russia were all huddled up by the counters in the kitchen. Whoever was the next poor sap to set foot in the kitchen would have to face Canada's prank.

Unfortunately, that sap was England.

"England! WAIT!"

But England had already tripped on the wire set up at the door.

First, England was hit with a balloon full of maple syrup. She and the floor was soaked in it in seconds.

"WHAT THE F_ IS GOING-?"

England tried to march over to the others, but kept slipping in the syrup. She flailed her arms in an attempt to find support. Instead she found the cord to the fan.

"England, wait! You'll release the..."

There was a pillow on the fan that was slit open. England glared at all of them as feathers started raining down on her.

"...feathers."

She crossed her arms. "What? Is that all?"

Canada sighed. "3...2...1..."

A cabinet sprung open and a pie flew out.

England's glare somehow deepened ten-fold. "Who did it?"

Canada let out another sigh and stepped forward. "I-"

"I did it," America said bluntly.

Canada's and England's eyes widened.

"America? You...?"

"Yup~."

Canada whispered to America, "Why are you taking the blame for something I did?"

America just smiled and whispered back, "I don't want you to get in trouble. Let me be the hero."

England pulled America out of the conversation by pulling his ear. "You... I'll deal with you later. Someone just help me get these feathers off."

France grinned. "I'll-"

"No. Canada, come on."

"Alright."

Half an hour later this time...

"Alouette..."

Pluck. "Ow."

"Gentille Alouette..."

Pluck. "Canada."

"Alouette..."

Pluck. "Ouch! Canada!"

"Je te plumerai..."

"_Must _you sing that as you take the feathers out?" England whined.

Canada sweatdropped. "Sorry."

There was a soft clucking noise outside the door. The two exchanged glances before getting up and looking out to the corridor. They both looked down to see a chicken with a piece of construction paper taped to its leg that said '#42'.

"...More feathers?" Canada sighed out.

Suddenly there were nations scrambling about the house with chickens in their arms. They were finding them everywhere: under the beds, in the toilet, in the closets, on someone's head.

"What's the highest number we got?"

"Seventy-five."

"Seventy...? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE ARE SEVENTY-FIVE OF THESE RUNNING AROUND MY HOUSE?"

"Noooo. We caught seventy-four of them."

"...Find. That. Chicken."

While the nations sprang to action, Philippines was on the couch. He was eating a sandwich while he watched the panicked nations with amusement.

"You know, I don't really like the number 16. Useless number. 'Why not just skip it?'"

America stopped his search. "Wait. What do you mean...?"

Philippines just smirked and continued with his sandwich. Until England walked into the living room with her wand in her hand.

England shook her head and waved her hands in exasperation. "That is it. That is _it_. I draw the line at chickens."

"England. Put. The wand. _Down_." America ordered.

"It's my wand! I know what I'm doing!"

"That's what you thought last time. And the time before that. And the fic before that."

"Shut up! I can handle it!"

BOOM.

Later in the hallways...

Romania was casually walking down to her room with a grin on her face. Prussia was walking in the other direction.

They nonchalantly gave each other a high-five as they passed and Romania walked away with 10 more euros.

**Me: (Reads it over) ...I think I'm rusty. Or it's just cuz I'm rushing again. Or both.**

**Romania: Why is it always my fault?  
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**Me: Because you're 'mischievous'? ^^  
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**Romania: Review~.  
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	40. Guess, chase, crash

_Me: (Falls in from the ceiling) Hiiiiiiiiiiiii (Hits the ground) ...peoples. I'm finally out of school for the summer! Sooooo, here's your new chappie!  
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_England: Why...? (Points up at the place I fell from)  
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_Me: (shrug) Gotta shake things up somehow. (Pulls out a review letter) ...I'm seeing many comments about the chickens. XD Uh... I thought there was this part in Harry Potter with seventy-something Nifflers with teachers running around trying to catch them all but one number was missing... (Rambles) But... I couldn't find it. Still kept it in there because it was better than just having Iggy snap at the pie.  
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_England: =_= (Eyetwitch) I can see why those other characters are glad to be free of you.  
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_Me: Leader didn't like that prank either. :I (Reads another couple of letters) ...Once again, your minds in sync with requests. (Grins) I can totally work with these and make it fit in context~. (Reads another review letter) ...Hong Kong left after Iggy's brothers cured most of the nations. If he were involved, the prank war would've ended with fireworks. (Reads another letter) ...What.  
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_England: What?  
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_Me: I just the mental image of Fem!Tony into my head. It reminded me of this 'Meanwhile in' picture that has Tony and Steve getting married. (Reads more reviews and raises an eyebrow) I had **no **idea that Travis Willingham and Vic Mignogna got drunk on tequila, believed they were superheroes, and went on a rampage through Cancun, Mexico. I'm sorry, I didn't see that story until AFTER I wrote the chapter. The incident only began as an offhand joke someone asked an explanation for, the phone call with England was RP-ed out with a friend, and the rest I made up as I went along. (Reads another review) Englaaaaand~!  
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_England: ...Yes?  
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_Me: (Sprinkles un-gender-bend powder on England and shoves punk clothes into his hand) Our 900th reviewer asked for a prize.  
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_England: (Changes into the punk clothes in like, five seconds) And?  
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_Me: (Smirks)  
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_England: ...I don't have to kiss anyone do I?  
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_Me: At least blow a kiss.  
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_England: (sighs and looks out to the audience) Congratulations, PastaLuver13561. (Looks away and blushes) H-Here's your prize... (Blows kiss) ...THAT WAS BEYOND OUT OF CHARACTER! EVEN FOR YOUR WRITING!  
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_Me: I don't own you, so it's acceptable, somewhat. (Reads a last review) Yes, there are a lot of peoples in this fic, aren't there? ^^" But I can't lose my mind writing so many if it's already gone~. I'll be glad to fulfill your request.  
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* * *

><p>The assembled nations in the living room fell silent when they heard England's boots hit the stairs with a dull thud at each step.<p>

England was dressed up in a classic Sherlock Holmes outfit. She crossed her arms and glared out to the confused nations. "Which of you started it?"

Romania looked up from her cellphone for a moment, then spoke into it. "Yeah, I'll talk to you in a bit, Bulgaria. I'm in one of _those _situations again. Oh, would you? The shiny black one, please! Thanks!" Click.

"Who did what?" America asked.

England looked him in the eye. "You. Should. Know." She looked back at everyone else. "I'm here to reveal who started this little 'prank war' that made such a mess of my house!"

Several nations looked at each other. Finland was still picking glitter out of her hair. There was still a slightly faded black smudge above France's lip. And if one squinted hard enough, they could still see some green on the end of England's hair.

"No one leaves this room until we find the culprit!"

France crossed his arms. "And how do you intend to find them, Angleterre?"

England smirked and pulled something out of her coat pocket. "I intend to find them with _this_." She held out a small green bottle that said 'Hair dye'.

Romania gave Prussia an exasperated look that said '_You left the bottle?_'

"With the DNA evidence on this, we'll find out who started it."

Prussia rolled his eyes at Romania in a way that said 'The awesome me _told _you we've should've worn gloves.'

New Zealand's head tilted to the side. "How are you going to check the DNA evidence if you you just said that no one's going to leave this room?"

"I... Good point." England turned his gaze to America. "Where were you on Tuesday night?"

"You're blaming me? Why would I put strawberry sauce in my own burger? It's a waste."

"To make yourself look innocent."

The actually perpetrators just rolled their eyes as Romania checked her watch.

Several interrogations later...

"I didn't do it, desu yo!"

"Alright, this has gone on long enough," Romania sighed and stood up. "I did it!" She grabbed Prussia's arm and pulled him to his feet. "I did it with Prussia."

"Hey! Don't just rat me out!" Prussia yelled.

"Why did you do it?" England asked.

"You have to admit that it was funny," Romania said with a grin. There were several nods of agreement from the neutral nations. "So what are you going to do? Ground us?"

"I h've an idea," Sweden said with a thoughtful look. He whispered it into England's ear.

"...That's cruel and unusual, Sweden. I like it." England pulled out her cellphone and searched through her contacts. "Oh, Hungary?"

Prussia and Romania's eyes widened. "RUUUN!"

The two scrambled into the hallways and through the bedroom doors. Unfortunately for the other nations, they didn't see which door they went through. So it quickly became a Scooby Doo-esque chase scene.

"They're not in here."

"Not here."

"HOLY- Why the hell was there a rhino in there?"

"America, I thought you gave 'Thunder' back to the zoo!"

"Not now! I forgot which door I lost my pants in!"

"They're at the front of the house, desu yo!"

England dashed to the front door to see Romania and Prussia get into a shiny black car that Bulgaria was driving.

"Why are you a girl and what did you do?" Bulgaria asked.

"I'll explain later! Just drive!"

"To where?"

"Anywhere but here!"

The Allies ran into the garage to get England's car... that wouldn't start.

"Come on! They're getting away!" England yelled as she smacked the dashboard.

America got under the dashboard and pulled out two wires. "Try now!" America touched the wires together and the car instantly roared to life.

Soon there was a car chase through the streets of London. Except, it wasn't as cool as in the movies-

"ENGLAND! DUDE! YOU'RE ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD!"

"NO I'M NOT, GIT. REMEMBER WE'RE IN _MY _HOUSE!"

Yes, there was bickering in both cars.

"Prussia! Your bird keeps trying to steal my hat!"

"Well, _sorry_! He just wants to hide in case we get caught!"

Bulgaria smiled. "Don't worry. We won't get caught." He pushed a button, and suddenly a trail of oil was behind them.

"Thanks for bringing the right car, Bulgaria~."

England's eyes widened as she saw the oil slick.

"They're trying to give us the slip, da?"

"Russia, this is no time for corny puns! England, are there any cool gadgets in this car?"

"Just one-"

"USE IT!"

England released the grappling hook that attached itself to Bulgaria's car. Bulgaria tried swerving to shake them off, but it didn't work.

"S_!" Prussia yelled. "There's got to be _something _in here to get them off!" Prussia noticed a big red button beside the steering wheel.

"No! Prussia! Not the turbo-" WHOOSH.

Suddenly all the nations were flying by London at rocket speed. Bulgaria quickly turned around, back towards England's house.

"Bulgaria! Stop the car!" Romania yelled.

"..." Bulgaria pressed his foot against the brake harder.

"STOP THE CAR!"

"I CAN'T! THE BRAKE'S BROKEN!"

"WHAT?"

"IT'S TIME TO USE POLAND'S UPGRADE!" Bulgaria pushed another button.

"NOT THE EJECTOR SE-" DOING.

The Allies looked up to see the nations fly out of their car.

"They used their ejector seats."

"How come?" America looked beyond their car to see England's garage door. "Oh shi-! England! Use your ejector seat!"

"Fine! But first, China, get into Russia's lap!"

From the back seat, China gave England an incredulous look. "WHAT? WHY, ARU?"

"Just do it!"

She looked up at the Russian smiling and shook her head. "No!"

England shrugged. "Whatever you say." She pushed the ejector seat button, and all, except the back, seats flew out.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT FIRST, YOU A-" CRASH.

Five minutes later...

The front door got slammed open. Most of the nations that dragged themselves in had leaves in their hair. China, who was wearing a broken steering wheel, sighed.

"We're back, aru."

Wy poked his head from the doorway to the kitchen. "Oh. You're back. England, you have more guests."

"Wha...?" was the only response she could manage as she was pulled into the kitchen. The group of genderbent micronations eating sandwiches looked up from their meal and waved. "You have got to be joking..."

**Me:** **I'm sorry this took so long, writer's block is a bitch. ^^"**

**China: That was worse than the Mario cart race, aru...  
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**Me: Then everything went as planned! ^^ Review, please!  
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	41. Characters, cards, and some cinnamon

_Me: I'm sorry for the wait. Y'know, with birthdays, and one-shots, and muses with 'How I Got Saved', blackout, illness, dentists, severe lack of 'long-lasting thinking sugars', the universe making me its bitch this summer, and screw it I have no good excuse. I decided to type like there's no tomorrow since I'll be at Anime Day Orlando (as Mafia!Romano) and that was extra motivation to type fast. (God, I hope some of you are left...) Anyways! Italy, the reviews!_

_Italy: (Brings in a huge pile of paperwork in a wheel-barrel)  
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_Me: Oh god I let the reviews pile up. (Takes the first one) British... rave? What is this I don't even...? I'll try, I guess. And, I already gender-bent Iggy's brothers in Chapter 29. But they'll have their moment again. Just don't release the Fem!Steves, please.  
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_England: (Raises eyebrows) Lovely.  
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_Me: (Reads another couple of letters) Uh, the 'lot of peoples in this fic' comment was directed to someone who said '[they]'d lose [their] mind writing about so many' if they were in this position. And I really appreciate your advice. ^^ As for who I think Romania's VA would be... whoever can actually do the accent. And sure I'll put Costa Rica in there (researches) Ok, there. (Authoress plot change finger snap)  
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_Costa Rica: (Pops in out of nowhere and looks around)  
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_Me: (Reads another letter and tilts head) The disclaimers? Insulting? (Waves hand) I have no idea what you're talking about~. As for the other Nordics, I'll mention them more. I'm sorry. ^^" As for Switzerland... (my gosh, are all of you trained in the art of Fridge Logic?) Switzerland probably told England's siblings when they ungenderbent half the nations.  
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_Switzerland: Glad THAT finally got cleared up.  
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_Me: (Reads one last letter) Uh... I've already been called out on characterization accuracy, and besides, Egypt seems like the kind of character who would subtly get his revenge so he doesn't get caught. ^^"  
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_Italy: Ve, Bri doesn't own Hetalia~._

_Me: Sorry, this is sorta a filler chapter. Sorta. Some were wondering what would happen to Romania and Prussia, and we need to put in more characters: Macau, Ladonia, Molossia, Seborga, Kugelmugel, India, Monaco, and Costa Rica.  
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* * *

><p>England had a hand on her face that seemed to be stuck in a permanent facepalm.<em><br>_

"You have got to be joking..."

"Nope," came the irritated response from a short red-headed, apparently newly genderbent, girl. "Not a joke."

"_Great_," England's voice was dripping with sarcasm. "Is there anyone _else _I turned into a girl?"

The teenage girl with the haircurl, whom England mistook for Italy for a second, said "You didn't just-a turn us into girls; you switched some real girls too. You might-a want to go upstairs to calm them down."

Meanwhile upstairs...

China was tired.

She just wanted to flop onto her bed and go to sleep.

Sadly, she couldn't because there were two unfamiliar people playing cards on her bed.

"...What are you doing in my room, aru?"

The girl with the incredibly long hair looked up from her cards and flinched at the wheel still around China's neck. "Interesting fashion choice."

China raised an eyebrow. Who did she know that would judge her perfectly reasonable fashion sense, who she hadn't seen genderbent yet?

"Macau?"

"I'm glad to see you recognize me," Macau said with a smile. "Would you like to play with Monaco and I?"

China sweatdropped. "I mean no offense when I say this, but get out, please, aru."

"Huh?"

"As much as I'm glad to see you, you've chosen the wrong room to play in." China scooped up the playing cards from the bed. "I really hate to kick you out like this; but I've been interrogated by a Sherlock Holmes-wannabe, dragged along in some chase that feels like it came out of one of America's cartoons, and in a car crash just because I wouldn't sit in Russia's lap. I'm tired, aru." She gently pushed Monaco and Macau out of the room.

She shut the door, removed the steering wheel from around her neck, and flopped onto the bed. She shut her eyes, getting ready to take a nice long rest-

"LET GO!"

China groaned and slammed the pillow over her ear.

"NOPE!"

"DENMARK, YOU ASS! I THOUGHT WE WERE DRINKING BUDDIES!"

"WE ARE, IT'S JUST THAT SWEDEN GAVE ME MONEY TO DO THIS!"

"LET GO, VERDAMMT!"

"NORWAY! I'LL GIVE YOU THAT FLIGHT SPELL IF YOU DON'T CALL HUNGARY HERE!"

"Too late."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

China sat up and threw the pillow at the door. "AIYAH! SHUT UP, ARU!"

Later...

Hungary stared down at the two nations tied up in chairs.

"You two just can't keep out of trouble, could you?" she sighed.

Romania smirked up at her. "If only you were here. It would have been _much _more amusing."

Hungary glared. "I was told you two needed to be 'punished' for your pranking. Not sure why they would chose _me _to do it, but..."

Prussia groaned. "Just pull out the frying pan and get it over with."

Hungary raised an eyebrow. "Who said anything about frying pans?" She pulled out two tablespoons.

"Are you gonna to force-feed me garlic again?" Romania deadpanned.

"Nope." She pulled out a jar of cinnamon.

Prussia burst out laughing. "Oh no! Cinnamon! I'm _so _scared!"

Hungary scooped up cinnamon in both spoons, then looked to the audience. "Remember, while this is popular, it's also very dangerous. So don't try this at home~." Then she popped the spoons into their mouths.

And everyone downstairs heard two frantic cries of "WATER! **WATER!**"

A young man with a puppy on his head, a genderbent Costa Rica, looked up at ceiling in confusion. "What was that?"

"Payback," half the room answered.

"Will they be alright?" a genderbent India asked.

England calmly sipped her tea. "They'll be just fine. They just need to have stiff upper lips. Now, as I was saying; because I have even _more _guests, we're going to need _more _money. Any ideas?"

America raised a hand.

"That doesn't involve McDonald's."

America's hand stayed up.

"Or lemonade stands."

America's hand went down.

Japan went up. "Um... I believe I have an idea, England-san. I will require some preparation though."

"I trust you with this, Japan. We'll get started on it immediately-"

Romania and Prussia rushed downstairs and made a two-man stampede to the kitchen. They knocked Molossia out of their way and yanked a pitcher of water of out the fridge.

"OH MEIN GOTT, THIS WATER TASTES _AWESOME_!"

And everyone in the room sweatdropped.

**Me: Sorrysorrysorrysorry-**

**Romano: They get it. You're sorry.  
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**Me: Well, uh, here's the official end to the prank war arc. You'll get to see Japan's plan on the 25th. I'll try to write chapters before then.  
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**Romano: (Rolls eyes) Review.  
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	42. Cosplay Cafe Chaos

_Me: Hi peoples! The con was excellent, even though I was practically melting in my suit. I played Pony, bought a crap-ton of stuff, got my haircurl molested by every America there, I tried Japanese snacks (Japanese gum feels like a combo of gum, pop rocks, and pixie sticks), and saw a bunch of male cosplayers (a Prussia, France, England, Russia, and Poland). I wonder why youtube plays them off as rare. Only sad thing is that my computer died and lightning fried the Internet connection so I was scared I wouldn't even get this up-  
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_England: Stop rambling!  
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_Me: It's my birthday, I can ramble all I want! :I  
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_America: Using us to throw yourself your own birthday party again?  
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_Me: Shush! (Picks up a review letter) Korea! Liech! Latvia! Iceland! Get over here!  
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_Iceland: Yes?  
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_Me: You were requested a chapter ago and I forgot to fling you.  
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_Iceland: Oh no, not the catapult-  
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_Me: FIRE! (Flings them over the Fourth Wall) Now that that's done. (Reads a letter) Greece... uh... (Digs through the chapters) Uh... You can assume Greece left when Iggy's brothers ungenderbent half of the nations. Sorry. Haven't noticed Greece hasn't been mentioned since Chapter 21. ^^" I'll fix that the next time that someone gets genderbent.  
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_Turkey: And me?  
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_Me: ...Yes, Turkey. You too. (Reads a letter) How many nations are genderbent now... Oh gosh. (Pulls out the list I now require) At the moment... 26. Throughout the fic... (Tries to count on fingers and gives up) At least 40. At least. And this is without counting the characters that remain the same gender like Estonia, Netherlands, and Bulgaria. Or most of the Latino OCs. No wonder I'm losing track, oh my **gosh.**  
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_England: Ahem.  
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_Me: Oh, right. (Reads another letter) "Bri Nara, if you were a country, what would you be like?" (Raises eyebrow) I'd be a flat, little (read: too small to see on a world map) island in the tropics that thrives off sugar production, seafood, and tourists. Since sugar isn't enough to live off of, majority of the jobs would be tourist-related to satisfy the peoples. Isn't it fitting?  
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_Caribbean nations: (Raises eyebrows)  
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_Me: (Read another letter) Romania! They wanna comfort you. (Leads Romania to the Fourth Wall door)  
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_America: How come Romania gets to use the door?  
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_Me: Because the others weren't attacked by cinnamon. (Reads another letter) Genderbent Clone Wars. Now why would I be mad? I approve of this. (Thumbs up)  
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_England: What have you caused now?  
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_Me: GREAT things. (Reads another letter) YOU WILL GET YOUR BRITISH RAVE AND THE CAUSE WILL BE FUNNY. JUST WAIT. I NEED RESEARCH AND ACCENTS AGAIN. (Reads another letter) Gilbirdzilla is chilling in the back of the house with Thunder the Rhino and Mr. Puffin. (Reads one last review and Cheshire cat grins) Ohhhhh! One of you just gave me dreadful idea. Inspired by Tumblr.  
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_America: Oh crap.  
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_Me: Okay. I don't own Hetalia, though that would be an awesome gift. (Glances at the Nordics) Yes, I'm looking at you five._

* * *

><p>The door was flung open as a huge group customers came pouring in.<p>

The first thing they would see would be Naoto, Chie, Yukiko, and Rise from Persona 4 (Philippines, Japan, Macau, and China respectively) extending their arms with a chorus of "Welcome!".

"Are sure it's okay for you to pay for everything? It is _your _birthday, Onee-chan." one of the customers said to the one with the ponytail.

The girl with the ponytail sweat-dropped. "Guys, it's fine. _I _invited _you guys _here, shouldn't I be the one paying?"

A girl with blonde hair, green eyes, and square-glasses shrugged. "We could always go Dutch," she said with a slight Scottish accent. "I mean, there _are_ enough of us here."

The person at the reception desk, Romania, was dressed up as Moka Akashiya's vampire form from Rosario Vampire. Only she was in a Gothic Lolita dress. The ponytailed customer approached the desk.

"Table for..." she glanced over her shoulder to try and count the crowd. "A lot."

Romania raised an eyebrow but lead them to a group of tables in close-enough proximity. "Your servers will be with you in a moment."

Several girls started giggling as they recognized some characters coming to serve them. Roy Mustang, Riza Hawkeye, and Jean Havok from Fullmetal Alchemist (Denmark, Norway, and Iceland). Izumo from Blue Exorcist (Egypt). Asuka from Evangelion (Ladonia). Deidara from Naruto (Kugelmugel, because it's _art_).

Romano, who was dressed up as Yuri from Vesperia, approached Table 13. He couldn't wait for his shift to be over. He lazily glanced over at the girls at this table. A redhead with star earrings, the Scottish blonde, a girl with dark skin and glasses, a girl in a fedora complaining that she was 'dragged into this soon-to-be-disaster', and the oldest-looking one who was wearing a blue jacket and her hair in a ponytail.

"Welcome. I'm your ser-" Romano did a double-take as he recognized the one in the ponytail. "What the _hell _are _you_ doing here?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Uh... Having my birthday dinner with my peoples?" She gestured to the nearby tables. "I'm not here to mess with you guys. I can do that next chapter."

Romano's eye twitched and he pulled out a notepad. "What would you like to drink?"

Meanwhile in the kitchen...

Everything and everyone in the kitchen was moving.

Germany was in charge of keeping everything in order, so he was the one all the waiters handed their orders to.

"Here's the order from Table 4, desu yo," the little girl dressed as Madoka said.

Soon after she left, China came in. "Table 12, aru."

And Romano came in with his order. "Damn, looks like you have a lot of work to do, potato-bastard."

Germany gave him an exasperated look that said 'I know'. "We need another pair of hands in this kitchen. Italy!"

Italy paused from cutting vegetables. "Si, Germany?"

"Go upstairs and wake up Russia. We need help."

Italy nodded and almost skipped upstairs. Now was her chance to wake someone up with a frying pan and ladle. She'd seen it on tv and had always wanted to try it.

Meanwhile in Russia's room...

Russia had been trying to block out the noise downstairs for the past half hour. But when the door to the room opened, she finally gave up and sat up.

"Da?" Russia asked sleepily. She stared at the person in the doorway.

It was just Italy.

Sweet, lovable Italy holding a sharp knife.

...

Wait a minute.

Knife?

Russia stared at the knife. It was getting closer and closer as Italy walked toward the bed.

This was bad. Who knew _Italy _of all people could do this? Russia was caught completely off-guard. Her shovel was in the corner away from the bed. There was probably too much noise downstairs for anyone to hear Russia yell. There wasn't even anyone nearby to use as a meat-shield-

"You're awake?" Italy asked in a disappointed voice. "Ve..." She turned on her heel and walked toward the door. "I screwed up..."

Russia just sat there with a look on her face that said 'What the hell just happened?'

"I-ITALY! Why the hell are you carrying a knife!"

"Ve! I forgot the frying pan and ladle!"

"D-DON'T WAVE THAT THING TOWARDS ME, YOU BLOODY IDIOT!"

Meanwhile downstairs...

A boy with a (temporary) sword tattoo on his face and a girl with burn scars, an eye-patch, and glasses was attempting to serve a table.

"H-Hello..." said the boy in the best 'nervous' voice he could manage. "I'm Jacuzzi-"

"Pffft," the girl beside him tried to suppress a giggle.

"...And this is Nice. What...W-What can we get you?"

'Nice' put a hand on his shoulder. "Lighten up a bit," she said in a oddly quiet voice. She smiled at the grinning costumers. "Now, what can we get you?"

After they walked away, the boy let out a breathe. "Did you have to laugh? It was hard enough when they asked us to act like a characters we barely know."

"I'm sorry, Seychelles." They entered the kitchen and handed Germany the note. "Here's the order from Table 2."

Germany sighed. "Danke." Then she turned to the kitchen. "France! We need another filet mignon! Italy! Is the special pasta ready?"

"It's ready~!" Italy presented the pasta.

Germany raised an eyebrow at the brown bits mingled in with noodles. "What is that?"

"It's sausage." She smiled. "You said to make to make the special pasta on the menu extra special, so I added sausage! So you think it was a good idea, Germany?"

"_I _think it is~." Germany turned around to see a grinning Fem!Kyon with little hearts flying around her head.

Germany blushed deeply. "Just take the dish to its table, Hungary." Germany didn't see how a plate of _food_ could be romantic! She tried to get it out of her mind as Hungary stepped through the curtained door. "Is the Baked Alaska cake ready yet?"

America pulled out a lighter. "Just about!" The cake was soon engulfed in low blue flames. "Now it is!" He went through the curtained door and set the cake down at Table 13.

The girl with the ponytail stared at the cake in surprise. "Hm. So that's what Baked Alaska looks like in real life."

"Now for the birthday song that this cafe has that I'm totally not making up on the spot!" America cheered.

"Happy Happy Birthday, from me to you!

This isn't under copyright so we don't all get sued!

Now it's your birthday, the day is finally here!

It takes a lot of luck you know to not die for a year!

So now you get a party, and lots of cards to read!

And a bunch of other gifts like sweaters you don't need!

The song is almost over, so try to stay awake!

I think the guests are hungry now, so cut the freaking cake!"

There was clapping, and laughing, and the occasional awkward 'What was that?'

"Okay! Now make a wish!"

The birthday girl, who was blushing from embarrassment by now, was about to...

Until she glanced up.

"Fire!"

"Don't worry, the cake is supposed to be like that! Like a huge candle with ice cream insi-"

She shook her head and pointed toward the kitchen. "No! _That _fire!"

America turned around to see the curtain to the kitchen in flames. He rushed over and let out a panicked "What the _hell_ happened?"

France put a hand on his shoulder. "Amerique. You are supposed to light the cake _at _the table. But considering who taught you how to cook, we're willing to forgive you for one little mistake."

"LESS TALKING AND MORE FIRE-FIGHTING!" Hungary snapped.

Seborga, who was a waitress dressed as Tear from Tales of the Abyss before this mess started, approached the fire with a cup of clear liquid. "What should just-a pour water on it, right?"

"No! Wait!" Monaco said. "That's not water, it's-"

The flames grew twice its size and Seborga stumbled back in alarm.

"...Vodka."

"T-Thanks-a for the tip..."

Right on time, England, Wy, Australia, and India came downstairs in their cosplay for their shift. Each of them was dressed up as a character from Kid Icarus. Viridi, Pit, Phosphora, and Palutena respectively.

But that wasn't the important thing here.

The important thing was how funny England's face looked when her jaw nearly dropped to the floor.

"I go upstairs to change for _ten minutes_-"

"In my defense, there are no instruction manuals for how to set a cake on fire," America said.

England's face started turning red. "You... Stupid... I'm going to-"

Then Molossia, dressed as Revy from Black Lagoon, stepped out with a fire extinguisher. She sprayed foam all over the curtains, earning a few 'Good job!'s from everyone in the room. Then she walked up to England, and sprayed her too.

Not because England was on fire or Molossia was just being a troll. It because England looked about two seconds away from going British Empire on America's ass for setting her house on fire.

"Missed a spot." SPRAY.

"...Uh, Molossia, that cake was _supposed_ _to _be on fire."

"...Oops."

Most of the girls who were sitting/standing around/within a 5-foot proximity of Table 13 was covered in foam from the torso up.

The girl with fedora got up from under the table. "I told you so."

"It's so coooold!"

"Does this mean no cake?"

"_This. __All _over Tumblr and Livejournal."

"Onee-chan, are you okay?"

The girl with the ponytail wiped the foam off her glasses with the tablecloth and sighed. "Welp. There goes dry-cleaning money. Looks like we're going Dutch after all, peoples. Check please."

**Me: And keeping up with the 'holy crap it's been over a year' thing, there's cosplay on my birthday again. Only this time we actually get to go in and celebrate.**

**England: Did you have to set my house on fire?  
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**Me: I had nothing to do with it. And it wasn't the _house_, it was your _drapes_.  
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**England: Do you know how much those will _cost_ me?  
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**Me: Probably less than the (imaginary) bill. Thank goodness we're going Dutch for this. Anyways, Zetta, your long awaited cosplay request, some cameos, a lot of references that even I only got a quarter of, and a messed up birthday song I wrote at 1am while fighting zombies in a video game. Nice work for being rushed.  
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**England: Review.  
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	43. Happy Hardcore, Hypnotism, and Hello

_Me: Hi peoples! I started planning this since before the last chapter and this is the last chapter before school starts, so I hope this comes out well.  
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_England: (Hands review-letters)_

_Me: Thanks to all the peoples who said Happy Birthday! ^^ (Reads a letter) No problem, Zetta. ^^ It was very enjoyable~. Of course you're still free to make requests. (Reads the next review) Oh gosh... Uh... I have the right to remain silent; and anything I say can and will be used against me...? Pfffft. Just kidding. XD Pretty much everyone in the audience was in that cafe. Why did you think they needed so many tables?_

_England: Because you have **so** many people who want to go to your birthday parties._

_Me: ...Iggy, remember who controls the keyboard._

_England: A comedic sadist._

_Me: (Eyetwitch)(Reads letter) ...Oh my god, when was the last time I even saw that show? Uh, I'll try! ^^" (Reads another letter) Oh, Jacuzzi~!_

_Nations: (Looks around with confused looks)  
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_Seychelles: ...You're not going to start calling me that, are you?_

_Me: Nope. Unless I'm in a Baccano-mood. (Pushes into catapult) Here you go, Berry! (Flings Seychelles over Fourth Wall) I'm so glad I decided to give Canada someone to cosplay with. Look what happened. (Reads another letter) No, it wasn't the birthday song by Arrogant Worms. I made the little birthday song up at 1 in the morning. And I hadn't heard the Arrogant Worms' birthday song in 2 years (that is until I finally got my Internet connection back on my birthday)._

_Romania: You've reached broken the 1000 barrier.  
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_Me: REALLY? (Reads over reviews 997-1003 and laughs ass off) Well, congratulations for having the guts to break the ice, Zetta! XD Everyone seemed scared to review after 997. Here's your prize! (Takes Romania's hat, opens the Fourth Wall door, and tosses it through)  
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_Romania: HEY! (Runs after it)  
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_Me: (Shuts door and reads a letter) A CANON? (Sees canon roll in from Fourth Wall Door) SWEET! THANKS! (Reads one last letter) The words 'This isn't under copyright' would imply that I'm letting anyone use it.  
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_England: Bri does not own Hetalia, she never will. If she did, we wouldn't have to do this stupid disclaimer every chapter, would we?_

* * *

><p>England walked out of Egypt's room with a dopey grin on her face.<p>

She started walking unsteadily down the hallway she walked into Italy.

"Ve? England? A-Are you still mad at me for scaring you with the knife? I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" When she didn't get a reply, Italy tilted her head. "England? Are you okay? You look funny. Maybe from all the stress? Oh! Maybe you should have a party to relax."

She grinned wider. "I wanna party."

Italy's eyes lit up. She wasn't expecting England to go along with it. "Really?"

"'Course." England pulled out her cellphone. "I'll invite everyone and hire a DJ and get the glow-sticks..."

Italy should have been questioning why England was willing to go along with a party. Or why she was _skipping_ away for that matter.

But the only thing on Italy's mind was...

"Guys! Guys! We're throwing a party!"

Meanwhile in England's room...

"Come on! I _want _you to come... Yes, you can bring the others...Of course I'm sober, silly! The party hasn't started yet. Yes, this is the real England."

"England?"

England looked up at the confused man standing in the doorway. "Oh, hi France!" She said into the phone, "It's just France, Scotty, I'll talk to you later." She hung up and smiled at France. "France! Guess what, we're going to have a party! I already invited half of London to come over."

France raised an eyebrow. "Are you alright?"

"Of course!" England smiled _way _too brightly. "Hold on, I need to tell the others." She skipped out.

France facepalmed. "There's something very wrong here... But this _is _England. How big can a party organized by _England _be?"

One hour later...

There were strobe lights, neon, Happy Hardcore, people, close-quarters dancing, and booze everywhere.

Prussia was impressed.

"WOOT! THIS IS ONE HELL OF A PARTY!" Prussia shouted.

"YOU GOT THAT RIGHT!" Spain laughed.

"Prussia! Spain!" France pushed past several party guest to make it to the other two nations. "We have a problem!"

"France," Prussia said in a semi-serious tone, "there's a party with a pole dancing contest in the corner. What problem?"

"England is acting really out of character!"

Spain raised an eyebrow. "And?"

"Do you remember what fanfic we're in? Something's going to go wrong!"

At that moment, the front door got kicked down. Again. Standing in the doorway was a redhead wearing glow-sticks and neon colors.

"Ye cannae start the party withit us, can ye?" Scotland said. "Ye micht want to the music doon; ye can hear it aw the way in Glasgow." He pointed to the driveway. "The polis will show up suin."

"Already?" Prussia asked. "But it t just started!"

"I knew he made having this much fun illegal."

France facepalmed. "Alright, now we _need _to fix her so that she can kill the party and talk us out of being arrested."

The Bad Touch Trio walked around upstairs looking for a cause to the strange behavior.

Instead, they found more party goers.

"Let's see in here- OH HELLO! MY BAD! CONTINUE! IGNORE ME!" France said as he shut his bedroom door behind him.

Prussia raised an eyebrow as he passed a smoking bathroom door.

"Look what I found!" one guy said. "A Frisbee!"

"That's a book," his friend told him.

"Hey!" Spain said. "Put that down! It might explode or something!" Because this was England's house, where there were plenty of spell books that do random stuff like explode and switch peoples' genders.

The two gave Spain the book and went off to 'find non-exploding frisbees'. Spain sighed and looked at the cover.

Hypnosis for Morons: By Egypt's Mom.

"France! Prussia! I think I found it!"

The other two ran up and examined the book. Prussia crossed his arms.

"It's just another book," Prussia groaned.

"It's clearly not Angleterre's. It's legible. Since when did she take interest in hypnotism?"

"Maybe someone hypnotized her!" Spain said.

"Remind me to thank them later, but for now, find a way to un-hypnotize England."

As they flipped through the book, they found three ways to cure hypnosis:

1. Fulfillment of the original order given.

2. The original person to hypnotize the victim stops the order.

And 3. Annoy the crap out of the victim until they snap out of it.

France grinned from ear to ear. "Remember who we're dealing with. This will be simple."

France found England dancing with Scotland, who looked confused. France took a deep breathe. He shouted over the music in the most obnoxious French accent possible, "'ELLO, ENGLAND!"

England looked at the Frenchman and smiled. "Hey, France! How are you enjoying the party?"

"Zis party iz dull and bland like your cooking!'

England laughed. "Looks like I'll have to try harder next time!"

France was expecting a 'My cooking is just fine!', not that. "Even if you do try 'arder, it will never compare to anyzing I do~!"

England just kept laughing. Laughing without a care in the world.

Okay, what the hell? "ANGLETERRE!"

"Yes?"

The music seemed to get louder in the past couple of seconds. "ANGLETERRE! ROSBIF! BLACK SHEEP OF EUROPE! PUNK! JE SUIS PLUS VIRIL QUE TOI! TU DETESTES QUAND JE PARLE FRANCAIS! POURQUOI N'ES-TU PAS FURIEUSE CONTRE MOI?"

"I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOUR LANGUAGE WAS PRETTY!"

Secrets. Spitting out secrets always works. "ENGLAND BELIEVES IN FAIRIES EVERYONE!"

"OF COURSE I DO, THEY'RE REAL, SILLY!"

"NOT JUST BELIEVES, _OBSESSED _WITH FAIRIES!"

"IT'S JUST AN INTEREST!" England laughed.

"NO, OBSESSED! WHEN WE WERE SHOPPING FOR CLOTHES, I SAW YOU-" and the loud music suddenly stopped "-EYEING TINKERBELL PANTIES!"

Everyone within earshot stopped their dancing and gave France a WTF look. France blushed as he realized what everyone else heard.

"No no! It wasn't me! _She _was the one looking at Tinkerbell panties, not me!"

Prussia had a hand over his mouth and was trying his hardest not to double over laughing. Spain gave France a pat on the back.

"There there, happens to the best of us," she said.

"Is England at least back to normal?" France groaned.

Prussia glanced over at the cheery Brit. "Nope."

France gave him a incredulous look. "Are you joking?"

"Nope."

"We are going to have to get help for this."

An hour later...

"Huh? You need me to bug England?" America asked.

"Yes, and let it be in the most merciless way possible," France said bluntly.

"What did she do that was so bad?" America laughed.

"She made me say something humiliating!"

"Can't be much worse than the dude downstairs that screamed out that he was checking out Tinkerbell panties."

"..."

"OH GOD, THAT WAS YOU? AHAHAHAHA!"

"BE QUIET!"

"AW MAN! THAT'S RICH! BEST THING I'VE HEARD ALL NIGHT! 'COURSE I'LL HELP! AND I GOT JUST THE THING!" America pulled out a CD that was labelled 'Most Annoying Sounds Ever (Non-Video Game Version)'.

"I think we should cover our ears..." Prussia said as he covered his.

America handed the CD to the DJ and told him to play the third track. So at full blast, everyone in the house heard this:

_**DA DA DADA DA DA DA DA CIRCUS DA DA DADA DA DA DA DA AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS AFRO POLKA DOT POLKA DOT AFRO**_

"OH GOD REALLY?"

"SOMEONE TURN IT OFF!"

"KORRA ISN'T EVEN ON RIGHT NOW, WHY IS THIS SONG STILL TORTURING ME?"

England was annoyed by now. No longer was she cheery. Nope. She had an aura of pure anger that would put Japan's anime to shame.

"_**AMERICA! **TURN THAT **FUCKING** RUBBISH OFF!_" England screamed loud enough to be heard over the noise and make America jump.

"OH MY GOD YOU BROKE THE CENSOR!"

"_THAT'S NOT THE ONLY THING I'LL BREAK IF YOU DON'T TURN IT OFF!_" England finally looked aware of the hundreds of random people in her house. "_THAT'S IT! EVERYONE OUT OF MY HOUSE! **NOW!** YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME, BUT YOU CAN'T STAY HERE!_"

Soon there were people scrambling out of the house to avoid the wrath of the thoroughly pissed off Brit.

Or they had just heard the police sirens outside.

When England heard the sirens, she glared at France in a way that said 'You're answering it.' France opened the door at smiled at the police glaring at him.

"Hello, Officer~." France said nonchalantly.

"Oh, it's just you," the officer groaned. "Bring the owner of the house here and let's go."

"Why do I have to go, sir?" France asked in an innocent-sounding tone.

"Because I _know _you're involved."

"Angleterre! You have a visitor!" France called out inside.

England stormed over with a scowl on her face. "Who the fu... Hello, Officer! What _are _you doing here?"

The officer raised an eyebrow. "I heard there was a rave hear at _your _house."

"Yes, there was. But I assure you, I had _nothing _to do with it."

The officer gave her an 'Oh really?' look and gestured to the glow-sticks still on her person.

"Fine, I'll explain at the station..."

Meanwhile upstairs...

Scotland and Egypt were looking out the window as France and England were getting arrested.

Egypt held up the hypnosis book, pointed out the window, and said "Just as planned."

Scotland applauded and vaguely wondered why he didn't think of this.

**Me: This was hard, though I regret nothing. Not even the Afro Circus.**

**England: Why would you say it's one of the most annoying sounds ever, though?  
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**Me: If you were on Nickelodeon any time (in 2012) before Madagascar 3 came out, that song would be on every freakin' commercial break! Then Tumblr trolled with it!  
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**England: That's still no excuse! Some people like it!  
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**Me: I could've Rick Rolled the rave if you'd have preferred.  
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**England: Ugh, review.  
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	44. Random Chapter About Aliens and Oranges

_Me: Hi peoples! I'm sorry this took so long. School, a **lovely **person who caused 'Anything But Normal' to be written, anxiety from How I Got Saved, and other real life emotional issues more or less broke my crack muse, chewed it up, then spit it out, stepped on it, then threw it down a sewer, called it names, and then laughed. :I So this is an attempt to revive it. Gentlemen, the reviews, please.  
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_France: (Hands over the reviews)  
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_Me: (Reads a bunch of reviews) ...Oh gosh, they want me to Rick Roll... Uh... Soon. (Reads another bunch of letters) Ah... Tinkerbell panties. We can all thank my buddy, who rps Prussia, for suggesting 'fairy boxers/panties'.  
><em>

_France: (At Prussia) SO IT WAS YOUR IDEA! YOU BASTARD! HOW COULD YOU? DX  
><em>

_Prussia: Kesesesesese..._

_Me: (Reads another review) ...No, being a comedian needs a gimmick, which I don't have since my real life is boring as hell. (Reads another letter) Yeah, Zetta, she was in charge of construction. Also, you can ask all the questions you want, so don't apologize for curiosity. ^^ (Reads another letter) AMERICA! TAKE OFF YOUR SHIRT AND GET IN HERE.  
><em>

_America: (Suddenly shirtless) Huh?_

_Me: (Pushes into the cannon) You've been requested, and you're the first to be fired in the Request Cannon. (Pulls rope)  
><em>

_America: (Flying over the wall) WAAAAAAAIT- (CRASH)  
><em>

_Me: (Reads another letter) 'Just have France kiss her'... DAMMIT, WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT? (Headdesk)  
><em>

_England: (So glad she didn't)  
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_Me: (Reads another letter) ...Um, yes, France walked in on something very... intimate. Use your imagination. We might as well call the "British rave chapter" the "Pick on France chapter". Anyways, I don't own Hetalia and I never will._

* * *

><p>Two grey aliens were glaring at each other in their small spaceship.<p>

"We're lost, aren't we?" one of them said.

The other one crossed his arms and huffed. "We're no _lost_. We're just... misplaced somewhere in this solar system."

"Admit it. We're lost, dumbass."

"We are _not _lost, bastard!"

"I said 'Go out and ask for directions from a Martian!' Did you listen? No!"

"THE MAP SAID TO TURN LEFT AT MARS! I DON'T NEED TO ASK FOR DIRECTIONS TO EARTH!"

"THAT MAP'S OUTDATED!" He facepalmed. "WHY THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO EARTH ANYWAYS? IT'S WAY MORE FUN ON PLUTO!"

"TONY OWES ME MONEY! HE LOST THE BET! THERE'S NO WAY EARTHLINGS ARE AS CRAZY AS HE SAYS THEY ARE!" He rested his cheek in his hand. "I don't care how many parsecs we have to go, I'm getting my damn money."

"...Fine. Fine. We'll get your freaking money. But you're paying for the gas for my spaceship. Do you even know what part of the planet Tony's on?"

"...U-something."

His colleague stared at him like 'Are you serious?' "'U-something'?"

"Yes."

"I didn't even study Earth and I _know _that's wrong."

"WELL EXCUSE ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER ALL THE WEIRD-ASS NAMES OF EARTH COUNTRIES!"

As the approached Earth, they noticed something wrong.

"Wait a minute... Were are the lines and colors and crap?"

"That's just for the map, dumbass."

He shoved the map into the other's hands. "You're so smart, _you _point out where we're supposed to go!"

He sighed and stared at the map. "Look. This little mass here says 'UK'. We should check there."

"Sounds good enough."

"Told you 'U-something' was wrong."

"Shut the hell up!"

Meanwhile on Earth...

China looked out at the nations dressed up in Kung Fu uniforms with pandas on the front of them. "Okay! Shifu China says let the first lesson begin, aru!"

I'm sorry, this is clearly one of China's fantasies and not Earth. Let me go ask some Keronians for directions...

China glared up at the ceiling. "This _is _Earth. We're just having a Kung Fu seminar to see if this could raise money, aru."

Broke again?

"You're the one who writes the excuses for this random stuff, you should know, aru."

Touche.

America raised his hand. "Seafood China? Can I ask a question?"

"Aiyah! It's _Shifu_, aru!" China ran a hand over her face before regaining some composure. "Yes, America?"

"When do we get to the ass kicking part?" he asked bluntly.

"Not yet. I have to teach you the basic stances first."

"_Then _the cool stuff?"

"No, then you must go through strenuous trainin-"

"Later." America walked to the living room, where Japan was having a Kendo seminar.

"Hello, America-kun," Japan said. "Weren't you in China's class?"

"Yeah, but it wasn't cool enough." America picked up a shinai. "_This, _on the other hand, is _awesome._"

Japan gently pried the bamboo blade from his hands. "You're not ready for that yet."

"What do I have to do? Put on epic samurai armor?"

"No. You have to go through muscle train-"

America gave Japan a deadpan look that said 'Dude, we're freakin' _nations _and you're telling me to muscle train?'

"It's just a few laps to see your endurance-"

"See ya." America went back to China's lesson to see that the were working on balance.

With buckets of water on their heads.

China was moving around swiftly in a demonstration. Not a drop went out of the bucket. The others were trembling, spilling water, and (un)subtly holding the buckets on their heads with their hands.

"This is why you must find your center of balance, aru. So you can move with speed and a-"

"YO! CHINA, I'M BACK!" America shouted in her ear from behind.

"GYAAAAH!" SPLASH. CLANK.

America tried to hold back a laugh as China turned around and glared at him.

"Not. A. Word."

"Pfffft."

China's glare deepened. "Why don't you go bother Japan, aru?"

America turned on his heel and went back inside.

"Well," Norway said, "At least it wasn't a word."

Meanwhile upstairs...

...two aliens were coming down.

"I can't believe the didn't see us land on the roof."

"Earthlings are usually oblivious unless they're actually looking for something."

"Whatever. Let's just find Tony and get out of here."

They poked their heads from the bottom of the stairs.

They saw a bunch of nations in kendo uniforms standing before wooden posts. Each post had an orange, with a face drawn on it, and a small speaker on it.

And every single speaker was saying "Bet you can't hit me" on loop.

"Japan, turn them off!"

"Please!"

"It's practice. They'll turn off if you hit it properly."

England was having a hard time. Every time she smashed it, Japan would replace the orange with a "Your hands are in the wrong position" or "You can only hit it with the tip of the shinai; see the line here?" or even an "England-san, don't smash it with your hands, please."

While France's orange seems to have a different record on its speaker.

"Hey! Hey! Other me! Hey! Look out for that stick-" SQUISH. "Oh well, I warned you. Anyways, where we we? Oh yeah. Bet you can't hit me! Bet you can't hit me! Bet you can't hit me! Bet you can't-" SQUISH.

The two aliens watching looked at each other in confusion.

"Oh god..."

"WTF...?"

"Tony was right. Earthlings are nuts."

"Let's just leave him the money, go to Pluto, and never speak of this again. Kay?"

"Kay."

They scrambled upstairs and climbed back onto the roof. They both jumped into the spaceship and started pushing the ignition buttons.

"Don't look down."

The other one looked down to see the Kung Fu students attempting to balance themselves on bamboo stalks.

"What the hell is wrong with this planet?"

"I just told you not to look down, dumbass!"

"Just get us out of here, bastard!"

A week later at America's house...

Tony opened the door and stared down at the package at his feet.

To say he was surprised to see his planet's money in the Earth mail would be an understatement.

"...What the f_?" He picked up the letter that came with the package.

_Hey Tony,_

_I found this at Iggy's house even though it was addressed to you.  
><em>

_I'm not sure why someone would send you a crap-ton of monopoly money with your face on it, but maybe you are.  
><em>

_Anyways, be back soon.  
><em>

_US of A  
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_PS. Remember to feed the whale.  
><em>

_PPS. Don't totally destroy the house while I'm gone.  
><em>

_PPPS. And don't freak out my people like you did that one time in Phoenix. Or New Jersey. Or Chicago.  
><em>

Finally something clicked and Tony smirked at the sky.

"I told you so, bitch."

**Me: (Headdesk) I'm so sooooooorrrryyyyyyy. I made you all wait for a month for such a crappy chapter.**

**America: (Hands gold star that says 'You tried')  
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**Me: I'm sorry, I had to improvise. I'll do a better job next time, I promise... Review, please?  
><strong>


	45. Windy Fashions

_Me: Okay, hi peoples. My crack muse seems to be ill (due to emotional stress, planning for NaNoWriMo, working on a birthday gift for a dear friend of mine, a very powerful Wonderland muse that's causing all sorts of unavoidable stress, and a certain Stephen King novel that I finally finished), but I'll continue with this story the best that I can before the comedy fades. (Or at least as close to 50 chapters as possible. I have the last two chapters planned out.)  
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_England: I'm amazed it didn't fade after the first 10 chapters of the prequel.  
><em>

_Me: (Glares) Pass the reviews here, Iggy dear.  
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_England: (Rolls eyes and hands reviews)  
><em>

_Me: (Reads through half of them) Glad to see my peoples still like it. (Reads a review) The money on Tony's planet merely looks like monopoly money. Though I'm pretty sure visiting aliens got the same idea you did when they saw kids playing the game. Haha... ^^"  
><em>

_America: ...Well, no wonder Tony was playing with the monopoly money when I bought the game.  
><em>

_Me: (Reads another review) ...It's alright, Zetta. I forgive you; so long as you realized it was a mistake and apologize for it, it's alright. You're not a bad fan, you're just... passionate._

_America: Bri does not own Hetalia, if she did, there would be lawsuits everywhere._

* * *

><p>"France, remind us how you convinced us to do this again," England grumbled.<p>

France smiled. "Well, you've been working so hard on finding a counter-spell lately that you're sure to find it soon. I say you should flaunt the fact that you can still wear a skirt for as long as you can!"

France and Philippines had somehow put a runway in England's backyard. Japan somehow found more outfits, despite England trying to clean out the house. Several nations were doing each others' hair and makeup. There were several audience members and six judges decided through... unusual means.

Molossia stomped over to the judges' table in a forest-themed dress and equally forest-themed green wig. She plopped down beside the man in the military-themed costume. "Why the _f_ _are we dressed up like this to be _judges_? I picked this job so I _wouldn't _have to wear a f_ing dress!"

The man in the military-themed costume, Romano, glared at Molossia. "Would you rather have your ass _up there_, where every bastard here can see you, or _down here_, where the only ones who could see your leafy ass are in equally weird-ass costumes?"

Molossia glared back from behind her sunglasses. "I wasn't asking you, asshole."

"The f_ did you call me?" Romano snapped.

"You f_ing heard me!"

The two started to curse each other out until the little girl in the white almost-holy looking outfit snapped at them.

"Both of you bastards, _shut up_!" Ladonia yelled. "Do I need to get a damn _swear jar _to shut you up?"

"No," they both answered as they slumped into their chairs.

The long-haired blonde in the pirate-themed outfit raised an eyebrow at their antics. She was only doing the job so she wouldn't be shoved into another dress.

"Norway! How do we look?"

Norway turned around to see what looked like Bolin and Korra from "The Legend of Korra". She knew it was really just Monaco and Macau though.

"Great," she answered. "But wasn't there another guy? With a scarf?"

Monaco rubbed the back of his neck. "Yes... But no one wanted to 'compete' with Russia's scarf."

There was a gust of wind nearly sent Molossia's wig blowing away. "Why did they chose to do this on such a windy day?"

Macau smiled. "Probably to keep everything interesting?"

As the two final judges sat down, France's voice came over a loudspeaker.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WE FINALLY GOT ENGLAND TO HOLD STILL LONG ENOUGH FOR THE MAKEUP, SO LET THE FASHION SHOW BEGIN!"

The music started playing and America strutted onto the stage in a white suit.

Then Molossia gave him a standing ovation. "You look great, sir!"

"Thanks!" he answered as he disappeared behind the curtain.

Romano smirked at her. "Kiss-ass."

"Shut up, you're going to do the same thing when Spain comes out."

Romano started blushing. "Shut the hell up!"

Italy walked onto the stage in a short, little sundress and a hat. The wind blew her hat off and onto the stage. She turned around and bent down to pick it up. Which immediately caused a fuss at the judges' table.

Macau politely looked away while Monaco did the same. Norway quickly placed a hand over Ladonia's eyes.

Ladonia raised her eyebrows. "Uh... Have you forgotten that I turned into a girl too?"

"No. That still doesn't allow it." Norway explained.

"As if I'm going to look!" Ladonia huffed.

"I could see up her ski-" SMACK. "OW! WHAT THE F_?"

"THAT'S MY SIS- BROTHER, YOU ASSHOLE!"

"OBVIOUSLY. YOU DIDN'T EVEN LET ME FINISH THE DAMN SENTENCE! I WAS GOING TO SAY 'I COULD SEE UP HER SKIRT _IF I WANTED TO_'!"

"WELL YOU BETTER NOT WANT TO OR I'LL KICK YOUR SORRY ASS SO HARD, YOUR _CITIZENS _WILL FEEL IT!"

Ladonia sighed and yelled at both of them. "IF YOU TWO DON'T SHUT UP, I'LL TELL NORWAY TO SEND HIS TROLL AFTER YOU!"

"Please don't drag me into this."

As the judges' table fell into a chaotic argument, Italy managed to run backstage with a long "VEEEE!" Germany facepalmed and shook her head. She would need to have a long lecture about why they shouldn't say such vulgar things out loud.

Especially when it was caused by Italy.

Because Italy made seeing her underwear way too easy for comfort. Even as a guy.

Not that Germany really acknowledges that.

Nope, not at all.

After several other nations strolled around the stage, it was finally England's turn.

Whether she wanted to or not.

"NO!" England yelled as she clung to the sides of the door.

"You're the last one!" France yelled as he pulled England by the waist. "Come out!"

"NEVER!"

France tsked and pulled a feather off of a nearby hat. "Angleterre," he said sternly. He brushed the feather against her skin. "You're coming with me!"

England resisted the urge to laugh, but inevitably let go of the door. France shoved her out onto the stage.

England's face flushed red. It almost turned into a staring contest between her and the judges.

'I'm going to kill that frog for giving me this _umbrella _that he calls a skirt,' she thought.

"Pssssst!"

England saw Philippines mouth 'Don't just stand there!' from the corner of her eye. She sighed and attempted to strut down the stage.

Romano covered the smirk that threatened to appear. Monaco gave the clearly flustered Brit some credit for trying.

England sweatdropped. 'I don't see how this could get any worse,' she thought.

As if on cue, the wind picked up.

England's skirt flipped up, almost like an umbrella caught in strong winds. She hastily tried to push it down.

"FRANCE! THIS SKIRT WAS YOUR IDEA! HELP ME!"

Macau raised an eyebrow as France appeared to help England. "I said the wind would make things interesting, but this isn't exact what I imagined as I said that."

**Me: I'm sorry. It's okay if you didn't find this chapter funny, it was a stressful month (and a half) and it's 4am that I finish this. ****Um, please review?  
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	46. Game and Bust

_Me: Okay, nearly over. Sorry. It's not you peoples, it's life. It keeps making me write sad things. That, and I tried (and failed) National Novel Writing Month. And I have to prepare college crap...  
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_England: (Hands over reviews)  
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_Me: (Reads a letter) ...How to write stories like this... Most I can say in general is 'Go with your muse'. For crack fics, get a premise... like... say... 'Make these characters girls', then you ask yourself 'How can I make this funny?'. That is my answer to you. :I  
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_England: (Rolls eyes)  
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_Me: (Reads another review) I'LL DO POKETALIA. EVENTUALLY. (Ahem) I seem to have accidentally buried myself in work once again (Bajo La Luna ending up missing the deadline, Crooked Stitches giving me one HELL of a muse, daily life-based one-shots, plus my two most popular fics at the moment) so I do mean eventually. But don't worry, two works of mine are ending soon, so I will get time for it.  
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_Russia: (Reading one of the reviews)  
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_Me: Uh... Russia? What are you doing with that? Reading the reviews is sorta my job since this is the **author's **note section.  
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_Russia: (Purple aura of doom and starts 'kol'ing)  
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_Me: EEP! Oryoucankeepthereviewthat'sfinetoojustdon'tmakeitcoldinhere!  
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_Russia: (Crumples review-letter in hand and starts walking off) Challenge accepted...  
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_Me: ...That was the drink-off challenge review, wasn't it? Well... I'd love to see how this plays out. If the acid-down-your-throat known as vodka is only kool-aid in comparison then I'm officially scared of tequila. XD (Reads another letter) Prussia's not in there because Prussia's awesomeness is so powerful it would've blown away the wind-  
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_England: What._

_Me: Kidding. ^^" Prussia was backstage helping pin down England. And... THANK YOU FOR HIDE 'N SEEK, OMFG I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMETHING TO EXPAND THIS CHAPTER, THANK YOU SO MUCH. WRITER'S BLOCK IS DEAD (FOR NOW). (Reads one last review) Ladonia! America!_

_America: (Hasn't changed out of his white suit yet) Yeah?_

_Me: (Pushes into the cannon)_

_Ladonia: (sighs) Why me?_

_Me: (Fires cannon)_

_England: Remember 'Bri does not own Hetalia' etcetera etcetera..._

* * *

><p>"Any particular reason why we're at Dave and Buster's?" England asked.<p>

"Uhhh... For the hell of it?" America answered with a grin.

England raised an eyebrow.

"For the bar?"

"..."

"Fine! For the arcade!"

"That sounds more like you."

As they climbed to the top of the stairs at the entrance, Sealand was practically dragging Ladonia along. Sealand let out a gasp of surprise as she saw all the games.

"Wow! Look at all the games, Ladonia! I bet the prizes are just as cool!"

Ladonia crossed her arms. "They usually have stupid prizes up and all the decent ones are worth too many tickets to get in one day."

"Let's check them out then!"

The two ran to the back where the customers exchanged tickets for prizes. It was mainly candy and accessories and tiny plush toys that were less than one thousand tickets while giant plush toys and cars cost millions of tickets.

"See, I told you-"

Ladonia cut her sentence short as she looked up at the top shelf. Perched on one of the shelves was a giant Stunfisk plushie that was big enough to be a pillow. It almost looked like it was gazing down at the red-headed micronation.

"...Ladonia?" Sealand asked with a tilt of her head.

Ladonia grabbed Sealand's wrist and started pulling her to the front.

"Get the credit card. It's game time."

...

"America, he is lying, da?" Russia asked.

It would've sounded innocent and cheerful, but the nations who heard it felt chills as cold as winter itself.

The bartender was absolutely oblivious to the chill in the Russian's voice.

"Sorry, but we ain't got any vodka," he repeated lazily. "At least, not enough to serve to the public."

"May I ask why not?" China had stumbled back when she noticed the shovel magically appear in Russia's hands.

"A very persuasive someone said that it was too weak."

Russia's smile got wider and the grip on her shovel got stronger. "Might I ask who said this?"

"I did."

Everyone looked to the end of the bar to see Mexico with a smirk on his face. America narrowed his eyes at him in a way that said 'Don't do it, bro.'

"Ah, Mexico," Russia said. "I should have expected it to be you."

"Do we settle this the old-fashioned way then?"

"Da."

Mexico smiled at the bartender. "Jim, get the shots."

...

Finland and Canada were wandering around the arcade.

Several games, they had noticed, were sparking the interests of the others. Monaco was playing one of the racing games. Japan was playing a trivia game. The Bad Touch Trio were showing the kids how you _really _play DDR.

Both of their eyes widened, however, when they saw a perfectly new air-hockey machine.

"Oh my gosh..."

"It's so shiny...!"

Finland looked over at Canada with a smile. "Do you want to play with me?"

Canada smiled back at her. "Of course. What's a little friendly competition?"

The small polar bear Canada was carrying let out a sigh that sounded awfully close to "Oh boy..."

...

"Hey, Ladonia! You can go into computers and stuff, right?" Sealand asked. She was holding a cup full of tickets, but it wasn't nearly enough to get the Stunfisk plushie.

Ladonia crossed her arms. "That's only for my laptop. Why?"

"What if you can go into one of the games and win a bunch of tickets?"

Ladonia raised her eyebrows. "That... is actually not a bad idea. But it's not even canon..."

"Forget canon! Let's try it with a game without tickets then first."

Sealand lead her to what looked like a pair of chairs in front of a screen. The screen had fans on the sides of it and seven buttons.

"What the hell is this?" Ladonia asked.

"I don't know," Sealand answered. "America said it's supposed to make you feel like you're in a rollercoaster."

"What should I do...?" She was looking at the thing as if a door would magically appear if she stared hard enough.

"Put your hands on it and focus. Like in a movie!"

Ladonia rolled her eyes and put her hands on the screen. She closed her eyes and then nearly stumbled. There was no more screen to lean against. Just six smaller screens with different locations on them.

"Sealand?" She looked around, but she couldn't even she the arcade anymore.

"You did it!"

Sealand was smiling as she saw a confused Ladonia appear on the screen. She moved into one of the seats. Her eyes widened when her foot brushed against one of the buttons that made the screen change.

"Uh oh..."

"_'Uh oh'_?" Ladonia asked. "What the hell do you mean 'uh oh'?"

She watched her surroundings change...

...into a giant pinball machine.

"Oh sh-"

Then the world started.

Ladonia was being bounced around all over the pinball game. Sealand was just enjoying the wind in her face and her seat rocking as if she were actually there.

Ladonia felt Sealand's grin even if she couldn't see outside the screen. She tried to give a glare, but failed due to the pinball game. "I'M" SMACK "GOING" SMACK "**KICK**" SMACK "YOUR" SMACK "**ASS**!" SMACK.

Sweden approached Sealand with an amused look. She was smiling and making little "whoa" noises with every movement the seat made. Sweden then noticed the other seat was empty.

"Wh're's L'donia?"

Sealand let go of one of the handles to point at the screen. Sweden's eyes widened as he saw Ladonia on the screen.

"...H'w...?"

The pinball game ended and suddenly Ladonia was flung into Sweden. She was seeing stars and she gave Sealand a death-glare.

"_Never_... again."

...

It was the greatest air-hockey match ever seen and it's such a pity that you'll only read about it.

The puck was nothing but a neon-green blur on the table and it was only on a side for about a millisecond. Canada and Finland were moving their hands expertly across their sides. Each one had six points which meant the next one decided the match.

All the civilians were staring with dropped jaws. Meanwhile Norway and Kumajiro stared on boredly, as they'd been watching for about an hour.

"Could you move it along, Finland? We have to leave soon."

Kumajiro finally rolled his eyes and put a paw onto the table. It made the puck completely stop. Canada gave the bear a confused look.

"Kumagachi? What are you-"

Kumajiro shoved the puck into Canada's goal. "There. Game over."

Canada gave him a look that was somewhere between shock, sadness, and white-hot fury. "W-Why would you do that?" she asked breathlessly.

"You were taking too long."

Finland laughed and held out a hand. "That was a good match!"

Canada took the hand with a smile. "Yeah! That was fun!"

Norway interpreted the hand shake, in which both were nearly breaking the other's hand, as 'Rematch later? You're on, bitch.'

"How is the 'who has the world's strongest liquor' contest going?" Canada asked.

Norway sighed. "Still going on."

"Well I'm sure Russia's having a good match too."

...

_THUMP._

Russia's pale head fell onto the table. The shot in her trembling hand fell out and she held her open palm toward Italy. Italy handed Russia a white flag.

Russia reluctantly waved it while Mexico grinned.

"HA! YO GANO!"

Russia tried to give him the finger, but waved it off. "Just get me out of here. He'll pay for it later, da?"

America casually picked Russia up into his arms. She glared, but she didn't object.

America laughed. "Come on, guys! Let's go!"

"Wait!" Finland said.

England crossed her arms. "What's wrong?"

"Where are the kids?"

England squeezed the bridge of her nose and sighed in frustration. "Those little..."

Wy threw his hands up. "I'll get them!"

He looked around for twenty mintues at every game, table, and shiny thing in the entire building. He leaned against the enormous claw machine and ran a hand through his hair.

"Why _are _they?" he asked himself.

"Wy!"

"Wy! In here!"

"Get us out!"

Wy turned around to see both Sealand and Ladonia freaking out inside of the giant claw machine.

"How on Earth did you two _idiots _get stuck in there?"

"Don't ask! Just get a game card with credit on it and get us out!"

**Me: FINALLY I FINISHED THIS! WOOT WOOT! (Confetti)**

**Wy: (Rolls eyes) Congratulations, but don't you have homework to do?**

**Me: Yes I do... ^^" Also! I put up a new poll, so pick which Christmas special you want me to write this year! Poll ends on the 21st!**

**Wy: Review.  
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	47. Hide and go peek

_Me: Hi peoples! Happy New Years! (Confetti) I decided that I will end this on chapter 50. So you still have a little while. (Pulls out the review-letters myself since this section seems to be shrinking with all of my fics anyways) Since it's getting close to the end, I'll answer reviews from more than just the last chapter._

_Me: (Reads several reviews from the last chapter) Seems like Ladonia was our little star last chapter. XD Weird, I usually don't write Ladonia well._

_Ladonia: So you write me with _**_bruises_**_?_

_Me: (Reads several letters) WE GOT CHARACTER REQUESTS HERE, FOLKS! PRUSSIA, CANADA, PHILIPPINES, COSTA RICA, FRANCE! TO THE REQUEST CANNON!_

_France: Mon dieu mon dieu mon dieu mon dieu-_

_(BOOM)_

_Me: (Reads a review) Pffffft- Self-inserts died out? I can name at least 5 fandoms just filled with a ton of self-inserts. (NationXReader fics, anyone?) Nobody told me what was wrong with self-inserts until it almost became a habit for me._

_Me: (Reads the new list of cosplay) Okay. I'll do my best. ^^ (Reads another couple of letters) Okay, more moments for Philippines and Costa Rica. Okay, one more letter... (Reads last letter) I was actually planning on writing a Mafia!Romano fic, but since not a lot of people really wanted it (Yeah, it only got like 8 votes on that poll that had been up on my profile since... January of 2012. The winner was for me to finish this fic AND THEN play around with genres). I'll write it eventually.  
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_Ladonia: Bri does not own Hetalia._

* * *

><p>"Wy, we told you! We were in there because Ladonia saw a Stunfisk in there!"<p>

"Finland, for the last time, we are not getting an air-hockey table _just _so you can have a rematch with what-her-face... I mean, Canada!"

"But I want a fair match with her!"

"Russia! I declare the drinking contest you had with Mexico yesterday a tie because he called to tell me he has a killer hangover! I didn't even know he could _get _hungover!"

"I told him that he would pay for it later."

It was the day after their trip to Dave and Buster's. The nations were relaxing in England's house until Sealand said "Let's play hide and seek!"

England raised an eyebrow. "And _why _would we do that? Are you planning something?"

Sealand pouted. "Can't we just have fun?"

"I thought you had plenty of fun yesterday when you spent 50 dollars in games!"

"That wasn't me, that was Ladonia."

England sighed in exasperation. "Fine, just don't make a mess."

Sealand turned to the other nations with a confident smile. "Who wants to play?"

Most of the nations in the room raised their hands.

"Okay! It's time to pick who's it... ONE TWO THREE NOT IT!"

There was a chorus of hurried "Not it!"s while a few nations fumbled around.

"Que? Oh, not it!"

"Um... not it?"

"Wait! What? Not it, aru!"

"Sorry, China!"

"Darn it!"

They were about to scatter when Seborga said "Shouldn't we-a spice it up a bit?"

Everyone froze. "How?" half of them asked.

"Whoever gets caught... should... um... dress up!"

"And let China draw on them if she wants!"

"It always come back to cosplay here, doesn't it?"

"Okay, now let'sa go!"

...

"Forty-nine... Fifty, aru!"

China uncovered her eyes and looked around. For once, the house looked empty.

Now, if one were a country, where would he...she...they hide...

China went into the hallway where she heard a bunch of rather loud whispers.

"Ow! Dude! My foot! I only have two of those!"

"Sorry, mate!"

"I think you two should be more quiet-"

"You can't tell me what to do! Free country!"

"...We're in Big Bro's house, America."

"Shhhh! I think I hear some-"

China opened the door to the bathroom. She grinned when she hear someone start whispering "crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap!" She yanked back the shower curtain to see America, Australia, and New Zealand huddled a corner.

"Hello, aru!" China said brightly. She pulled out a red marker and started scribbling on each of their faces.

Which ended up in Australia walking out of the bathroom in a Team Fortress 2 RED Sniper outfit with a target on her forehead. New Zealand walking out as a RED Pyro with a kiwi fruit and a kiwi bird drawn on each cheek. And America walking out as a BLU Scout with "MADE IN CHINA" written on his cheek.

"Did you see where the others went, aru?" China asked.

America put his hands up. "Hey! I'm not going to rat out anyone!"

China pulled out the bag of cosplay. "It's not too late to change into a dress."

"They went upstairs."

"Thank you for your cooperation, aru."

China hurried upstairs and started looking in the first place she could think of. The upstairs bathroom.

The scream she got from Philippines told her that other nations were probably not in there.

"CHINA! WHAT YOU- GET THE HELL OUT!" He threw a still-wet bar of soap at China's head.

"I forgot that you were in the shower here, aru! Stop screaming! Oh... your lower regions aren't even _that _bad. D-Don't look at me like that, aru! I ha- _used _to have those too... I'm just digging myself deeper so I'll just leave, aru..." China shut the door to the bathroom with a very deep blush on her face. "Yeah, Philippines is _not _going to let me live that down..."

"Pffffft-"

"Shhhh!"

China turned around to see an ajar closet door. She sighed. "Come out of the closet, you two."

"Closet, what closet? I'm not in the closet-"

"China meant the we're hiding in right now, Romano."

"I knew that! What did you think I meant?"

"Uhh-"

"Don't answer that, bastard."

China lazily tossed in two outfits into the closet. "Five down... A lot to go, aru." She decided to go into England's room. She searched high and low, but couldn't find anyone. She was about to leave when she heard the song 'Numa Numa' start playing under the bed.

Romania had just yanked her cellphone out of her pocket when China stuck her head under the bed. The elder nation gave her an incredulous look that said '_Really?_' Romania sighed and just answered the phone.

"Bulgaria... What do you mean where am I hiding? I'm under the bed in England's room. Yes, you better start running. If China doesn't find you first, I will."

...

It looked like a convention by the time the hide and seek game was nearly over.

Finland was dressed as Saber from Fate/Stay Night, laughing while Prussia tried to flirt with Canada, who were dressed as Archer and Rin from the same game. Romania, dressed as Fuka from Disgaea 4, was shaking her head at Bulgaria, who was dressed as Valvatorez. Sealand was begging Wy to trade outfits with her since she wanted to be Overlord Zetta. Seborga, dressed as Pram, said that Sealand made a cute Petta. Hungary (Prier from La Pucelle) was admiring Costa Rica's cosplay as Sougo Okita. Spain was playing around with the blue-haired wig she had to wear. Romano glanced down at his cosplay as Gig from Soul Nomad and wondered out loud why he always got the weird costumes. Japan, who was dressed as Madoka Kaname, ran away screaming from Russia, who asked "You want to make contract with me, da?"

The only nations missing were England and France.

What China did not know was that England was up in the air ducts. Smirking her ass off.

"She'll _never _find me up here," she said proudly. "I'm the world's number one country in espionage, so finding a good hiding spot was a piece of cake. All I have to do is hide here until she gives up."

"Hello, England, fancy meeting you here~."

"Oh no..." England facepalmed.

"What's with that reaction? Not happy to see me?"

"No, I'm positively _delighted _to have the smell of rotting cheese in my air ducts."

"Maybe if you leave, you wouldn't have to smell it."

"Why the hell should _I _leave? I was here first!"

"Because clearly you'll make the house smell like burnt cooking!"

"MY COOKING IS NOT BURNT!"

The two started getting into a fight about who should leave. Ignoring the fact the air ducts wanted neither of them to stay.

Meanwhile, China was downstairs. She flopped onto the couch and shouted "I can't find them, aru! I quit!"

There were several loud thumps that came from the ceiling above the couch.

"Um... China?" America said.

"What?"

America pointed up as the ceiling. There were large cracks starting to form. Suddenly, England and France fell from the ceiling.

"Aw sh-" CRASH.

England and France stopped glaring at each other to notice where they were.

"...See what you did, Frog?"

"What _I _did? Non! If you had just left like I asked you to-"

"You didn't _ask_!"

Japan held out the Shizuo and Izaya cosplay from Durarara. The two arguing nations each grabbed an outfit on their way out the door.

There was a long silence until someone finally said "...Who wants to play next round? More importantly, who did China find first?"

**Me: Yes, I had to slip two things that I've recently gotten into in there (TF2 and Madoka Magica). Russia cosplaying as Kyubey seemed like a good idea at 5 in the morning.**

**England: My poor house.  
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**Me: Yes, your poor house. XD  
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**England: (sigh) Review, please.  
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	48. Whose Country Is It Anyways?

_Me: Hi peoples! Sorry about the delay! Now, time for the review letters!_

_Canada: (Hands over review letters)  
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_Me: (Reads half of the letters) ...Why do I get requests **now**? I actually planned out the last few chapters! ...Can't be helped. ^^; (Reads a letter) I'm well aware of that Peruvian fact. I imagine Peru thinking fuzzy animals are adorable and saying something along the lines that guinea pigs are 'cute enough to eat!' Japan would add it to the 'list of foreign meals that must never be imported' (list examples: escargot, balut, etc.)  
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_Japan: (Reading over the list and becoming worried about the strange things some people eat, as he contemplates whether to have raw fish with or without seaweed)  
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_Me: (Reads another letter) It's not that someone told Philippines to keep the door unlocked, he just forgot to lock it. (Reads another letter) Yeah... Uh... I've yet to get into Homestuck- (Ducks head to all the outraged cries and bricks) It's not that I haven't tried, just my computer crashed the first time I tried getting into it so I lost my place and it would take for-freakin'-ever to catch up. I, at least, know the names of some of the characters because Tumblr has spoilers for everything, whether you're in that fandom or not.  
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_Canada: (Jumps as a random brick hits the Fourth Wall)  
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_Me: (Reads yet another letter)(WARNING: RAMBLING) You have excellent taste in requests. I'm in a film class and we just watched Casablanca. Actually, I'm starting to like a bunch of the classic actors in old films (cough Peter Lorre cough). I was actually thinking of making a Hetalia-version of Casablanca fic. Though, it would be a bit tricky to decide who would be Rick, Ilsa, and Renault because I can't pick which characters would fit. The key problem would be who to play Ilsa because that would determine the main pairings. I would pick England to play Ilsa, but America doesn't fit Rick much. My backup would be to have Seychelles play Ilsa and have England be Rick, but that pairing is not as popular and it totally **irks **me when people say things like 'Hmmm... I like the story but I hate the pairing. You're going to have to write **extra **good if you want me to keep reading' and it makes me nervous as hell that if I become an author, people won't want the last book of a series that I work on for god knows how long just because their OTP didn't become canon in the previous one (or worse, I have to keep contemplating whether to kill off a character or not just in the event of a shipping war similar to that of the Naruto fandom because there are three major characters). The only trouble with Renault is that he's the French-est one there but I need France to play Laszlo because yes France should be in charge of the French freakin' Resistance. So, um, yeah, gonna make that request a fic. Second request: Next chapter, I swear I'll incorporate it, even if it's just a bit.  
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_Me: (Reads one last letter) 'Course you can call me sensei! Now for all the requested nations. Romano, Greece, China, Romania! (Casually sprinkles vampire powder on Romania on her way out)  
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_Canada: Requests are officially closed; the last two chapters have already been based off a request that has been postponed for months. Bri does not own Hetalia, otherwise there would be something like this..._

_Me: By the way, I recall that in chapter 24 I made Mochimerica sound like America. Someone asked if that were true since it wasn't animated yet. Well, it finally got animated in episode 3 of Beautiful World. I've always wanted to say this so... CALLED IT!_

* * *

><p>"Hi peoples! I'm the United States of AWESOME-"<p>

"America! Get on with it!"

"Okay! I'm America and welcome to 'Whose Country Is It Anyways'! Remember, nobody gives a crap about the points, only about the fact that you're trying!"

America gestured to the desks full of nations with telephones. "Remember that we're playing today for the special... uh... 'Ouse-hay Unds-fay Charity'! So remember to call!"

England crossed her arms. Around her neck was a small sign that said 'Team Western Europe'. "This is ridiculous!" she said.

"This is for _your _ceiling!" America answered.

China sighed. She had 'Team Asia' around her neck. "The ceiling that fell on _me_, aru."

Molossia frowned at the 'TEAM 'MURICA' sign she had. He pointed at it with an exasperated look. "Uhhh...? Can we get this changed?" Canada nodded behind her in agreement. Costa Rica mumbled something about 'at least it's the whole continent'.

Iceland shrugged at her 'Team Northern Europe' sign.

Italy was trying to doodle on her 'Team Central Europe' sign.

Russia was just _daring _one of her teammates to fix the sign round her neck. What once read 'Team Eastern Europe' now read 'Team Mother Russia'.

Australia, who was wearing the 'Team Oceania' sign, was trying to coax Wy out of a facepalm.

Prussia was talking to his team. Swinging round was a sign that _used _to say 'Miscellaneous Team', which now say 'AWESOMELY AWESOMEST TEAM OF AWESOME ON AN AWESOME SANDWICH'. Sealand, Kugelmugel, and Seborga were listening excitedly. Egypt and Ladonia were facepalming.

America clapped his hands and a giant television set lit up. There were several small boxes that had categories on them, but not scores.

"Thanks to our special offscreen rock-paper-scissor match, Team Western Europe gets to pick first."

"Um... World Rankings...?"

"Good! Now come on over to our SCORE WHEEL!"

Suddenly a giant wheel similar to the one from 'The Price is Right' popped out of the wall. The scores ranged from 1000 to 9001.

England walked up and pulled down the wheel with as much strength as possible. Then slowly the wheel settled to the number... one.

England stared at it blankly while scratched his head. "Dude, I don't even remember _putting _that number there."

Regardless, all of the teams hovered over the buzzers on their podiums.

Their host pulled out a flash card and cleared his voice. "'Which country has been voted the title multiple times of 'Happiest country on Earth-'"

Costa Rica slammed his fist down on the buzzer and jabbed a thumb in his direction. "MEEEEEE!"

"...'in Europe.'"

Costa Rica slumped down in his stoll. Canada silently gave him a little golden maple leaf that said 'You tried'.

Iceland pressed down on the buzzer. Everyone on Team Northern Europe pointed at the grinning Dane who was pointing both thumbs at himself. "MEEEEEE!"

"Correct!"

A single point appeared on the scoreboard at the front of their podium.

"Okay! Since you guys won the point, you get to pick the next category."

Norway spoke up. "We pick-"

Suddenly there was a loud blaring siren. The tv screen started flashing 'FAMOUS LINE TIME'.

"Okay! Here's how this works! You have to come up to the front and say a line that has something to do with your country. Anything. Be it referencing you directly, or setting of the story you're thinking of, a story made in your country, filmed in your country, or even just the nationality of the character! Just come up here and say a line. You get at least one hundred points for having the balls to come up here and get more points the better the line is!"

Immediately, Spain jumped down to the front and shouted "_NO ONE_ EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"

The scoreboard flashed -100.

"Wha..." England sputtered. "What the hell! You said we _earn _one hundred points! Why is it _negative_?"

America smirked. "Because _no one _expects a Monty Python reference!"

England sighed. "Looks like I'll have to fix this." She casually strolled up to the front and calmed started with: "One does not simply walk into Mordor."

The 'Oh crap' looks on the faces of the other teams spread as England started quoting: Lord of the Rings, James Bond, Doctor Who, Sherlock Holmes, Alice in Wonderland, Harry Potter, and finally worked his way down to The Hobbit. The scoreboard now said 9001.

Japan finally spared everyone utter defeat when she went up and tapped England on the shoulder.

"Oh? Did you want a turn, Japan? I'm sorry, go ahead."

Japan slightly bowed and thanked England. She cleared her throat and did a perfect Godzilla impression. It was completely worth 7000 points.

Germany went up and started a long emotional speech.

In German.

She raised an eyebrow when she only earned one point.

"Dude... What the _hell _was that from?" America asked.

"From M," she answered.

"Can you do an _English line, _please? Because one: I can't even Google that movie. Two: It's old as crap and entirely in German. Three: Author can't write German so we can't even tell what the line is."

Germany was about to step off when Italy ran up and grabbed her hand. She had a huge smile on her face.

"Germany, I want you to stay up for this. I have to say this _to _someone."

Germany sighed. "Oh gott, please tell me it's not that li-"

"I forgot to tell you," Italy started.

"It _is_ that line. Go ahead."

"You can't imagine how much I feel like making love to you." America burst out laughing. Romano facepalmed. "But I'll never tell anyone, especially not you. They'd have to torture me to make me say it."

"Say what?" Germany asked reluctantly.

"That I want to make love to you - not just once, but over and over again!" America was on the floor by now. The entire room was laughing and/or failing at trying to hide their laughs. "But I'll never tell you that. I'd have to be crazy to tell you. I'd even make love to you now..." Hungary whooped. "Right here for the rest of my life."

Instantly, Team Central Europe won 10,000 points.

America wiped a tear from his eye. "Oh my god, that was great! I'm _so _done!"

Then China went up. "Let's get down to business!" she sang out. "To defeat-"

"NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! COPYRIGHT! COPYRIGHT!" America shouted as he flailed his arms. "GET OFF THE STAGE, CHINA! DISQUALIFIED! OFF!" America started shoving China off the stage and Team Asian's scoreboard read 'NOPE'.

"W-Why am I disqualified, aru?!"

"Because I don't want our asses sued by Disney! That is an argument we just can't win!"

"But we were watching Disney movies eleven chapters ago!"

"But we weren't on _TV _watching Disney movies!"

"You Americans and your lawsuits, aru!"

Finally, America calmed down and continued the game. He was enjoying teasing all the other nations with incredibly obscure questions. Such as:

"Okay! Odds and Ends for nine-thousand and one! A couple in Indiana almost got arrested after they raised and nursed back to health a baby what? Each of you write down an answer."

The contestants stared at each other in confusion.

"What the _hell _is in Indiana? Isn't it just corn?"

"Yes, Molossia, they raised and nursed back to health a baby ear of corn."

"It's probably something random and endangered, aru! Like a panda!"

"Why? Can't we think logically?"

"I _am_ thinking logically: Odds and Ends questions have _the _weirdest answers ever."

"Just because you were right about the drunk driving on a segway and the Russian space dog does not mean you're always right!"

"Trust me, aru!"

America smirked at most of the answers in his hand. "The answer was a deer-"

"WHAT THE HELL?"

"WHY WOULD YOU GIVE US SUCH A NORMAL ANSWER?"

"America, don't you smirk at us like that! _You _come down here and play if it's so easy!"

America shrugged. He had a huge grin on his face as he put on the 'TEAM 'MURICA' sign.

Until he ended up with Geography for 9001.

The TV screen had a black and white, unlabelled, unmarked, map of Europe.

"America. Find Estonia."

"A stony what now?"

"Estonia. Find it on the map."

America gulped and pointed to a random country.

"That's Austria."

He moved his hand.

"That's Bulgaria."

Moved his hand again.

"That's Germany. That's Denmark. That's Croatia. That's _my _house. That's Lithuania. That's Portugal. Just admit you have no idea what you're doing."

"I-"

India hung up one of the phones and called out. "We've earned enough!"

"AND THAT'S ALL THE TIME WE HAVE!" America cheered out. "See you next week-"

"No."

"Next month?"

"No."

"Next millennium?"

"Not even."

"ANYWAYS, THANK YOU! GOODNIGHT!"

**Me: Some of the questions used for the game show were actual questions asked during Jeopardy games in my Government class.**

**England: (Facepalm)**

**America: Who won?**

**Me: You said the points didn't matter!**

**America: Review, please!**


	49. On your Pasta, get the Phone, GO!

_Me: Hi peoples! Penultimate chapter. Now, I actually planned this chapter out months ago, but it got delayed due to moodiness and, well, other chapters.  
><em>

_America: (Hands review letters)_

_Me: (Reads a letter) I tried to make it like 'Whose line is it anyways' but then it was like 'how do you **write** improv? Everything I write is already improv!' So the only thing that survived from that was the 'points don't matter' line and the famous movie line bit._

_England: (pouting) We would have won if we had continued that._

_Me: (Reads another letter) Of course, I'm doing the Fourth Wall War! It's the first thing people ask for since I started them on accident! But next fic. Don't worry, judging from the votes on the 'Which fic will be written next poll', it will be soon. I'm making it my 100th fanfic. The poll will be closed as soon as this fic and 'How I Got Saved' are finished (so either the end of March or early April)._

_Lithuania: Are you sure it's a good idea to finish them so close to each other?_

_Hungary: (Reads a letter) Yes, I recorded the whole thing! (Pulls out the camera and grabs Prussia as she pole-vaults over the Fourth Wall)_

_Me: O...kay... (Reads another letter) I wasn't referring to you specifically. I just came from fandoms that are notorious for their shipping wars and I remember seeing excellent fics all the time with reviews along those lines when I was younger. When I saw your review I wasn't exactly sad, I was more like 'Oh yeah... MapleTea isn't popular...' But if you want me to say it: I forgive you. And... (Puts Italy, Canada, and Sealand into the request cannon)_

_Canada: (Used to this by now and covers ears before being fired)_

_Me: Remember, I don't own Hetalia! By the way, I've decided the pairings for the Hetalia version of Casablanca will be USUK and FrUK despite the killer shippers that will burn my inbox (doubly so from the people who know how the movie ends). And on an even more minor note, I feel sad that I didn't see the film 'Some Like It Hot' until recently. There are **so **many lines and references that I could have used!  
><em>

* * *

><p>America nearly jumped as there was another boom coming from the basement.<p>

"How the how can she _sleep _through this?" he asked out loud.

He opened the door to see England still curled up in bed. Her long hair was ruffled and she was snoring lightly.

"Bloody Daleks..." England said into her pillow. "Can't exterminate me, I'm called _Great _Britain for a reason..."

"England!" America said.

"America..." she answered without opening her eyes. "Not now... The angels have the phonebox..."

America rolled his eyes. "England! Wake up!"

"Captain Jack Harkness if you take one more step toward the French frog..." England mumbled.

America looked around the room to see if there was something to wake up England. France's rose.

"Why yes, I would like a jelly baby..." England wrinkled her nose when America shoved the rose in her face. Her eyes snapped open and stared at America in surprise. "A-America!"

"England, we have a problem," America stated.

England immediately sat up. "What is it?"

"Well..."

Before he begin explaining, there was yet another boom from the basement. England leaped out of bed and out the door. Whoever was walking in the hallways only saw a streak of color before it was gone. England slammed the door to the basement open.

She was met with a very odd sight.

Italy was wearing her black wizard's cloak and was holding one of England's spell books in her hand. In front of her was a chalk circle surrounded by candles. And floating above the circle was what looked like a pile of spaghetti with eyes. Dripping red sauce onto the floor. The nation and the pile of spaghetti turned to England and gave her eager waves.

"What the hell..." England deadpanned.

"England!" Italy said cheerfully. "This is Signore Weesie!" Indicating the spaghetti that was waving at England with one of its noodles. "Signore Weesie, this is England! Be nice!"

England glanced at the floating spaghetti before turning to Italy. "Um... If you don't mind me asking... _why _is there a flying spaghetti monster in my basement?"

Italy rubbed the back of her head. "Oh! I tried fixing the spell but it came out a bit wrong and Signore Weesie came out."

"Why were _you _trying to fix the spell?" England asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Because you weren't doing a very good job..."

"Oh." Pause. "_Hey!_"

Before England could rant about her 'perfectly competent magical abilities', the phone upstairs rang. England sighed in frustration and dashed up to get it.

"Hello?"

"Ye need ta stop breakin' th' phones ah give ye," said a female voice on the other line. "It woods make callin' ye much easier."

"Scotland?"

"Aye."

"Why are you a girl again?"

"Ah think ye shoods know th' answer ta that."

England gave Italy a quick glare. "Yes, sorry about that-"

"Listen, ah I have a wee challenge for ye."

England raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what sort of challenge is this? Another round of paintball?"

"Nah. A race. First ten cars that get 'ere, ah cure."

"WHAT?"

England nearly dropped the phone when America's voice explode in his ear.

"A-AMERICA, WERE YOU EAVESDROPPING ON MY PHONE CONVERSATION?"

The phone line was quiet except for Scotland's chuckling. "...No..." America said meekly.

"Liar."

"Oh, is that the doorbell? Bye!" Click.

"America! We're in the same house!" England's eyes widened when he heard America's loud footsteps and louder voice upstairs.

"GUYS! GUYS! REMEMBER THE GO-CARTS THAT SEALAND WAS HIDING FROM ENGLAND? GET THEM OUT! _ALL _OF THEM! SCOTLAND'S GOING TO CURE WHOEVER GETS TO HIS HOUSE FIRST!" This was followed by what sounded like a stampede toward the back of the house.

England facepalmed as Italy scrambled out of the room with a "W-Wait for me!"

"Oh bloody hell... See what you've done?"

"That was kin' of th' idea, lass."

...

Within ten minutes, there were go carts speeding off at Italian-retreat speed.

Several of them were planning to leave before their cars were even full.

"Guys!" Canada yelled as she ran after America and England's car. "Guys wait! You forgot about me! Maple..." She suddenly felt herself yanked up by the arm and was pulled into a car. She looked up to see France driving and the one grabbing her arm, Prussia. "P-Prussia!"

"Kesesesese! The one and only! Where you expecting someone else?"

"No, but I was expecting more of a warning!"

A red car with hot-rod flames flew by them. Italy was laughing about the wind in her hair, Germany was trying to direct her, and Japan was in the back, curled up in fetal position.

"Germany-san, why did we let her drive?"

"Italy drives like a maniac, so we might get there first," Germany explained. "Unless-" A black car with hot-rod flames drive ahead. The driver gave Germany the finger. "Unless Romano is driving..."

"So long, bastards!"

**Me: The next chapter is going to be the last. Sorry. I'll try to make it as long as I possible could.**

**England: Review, please.**


	50. Finish Line

_Me: Hi peoples! Um, I'm not sure where to start._

_First of all, a lot has changed since I started this fanfic nearly 2 years ago. The style, the drop in some particular habits, the readers obviously, and a ton of other stuff. I would like to thank the readers, who made this fic popular and fun to write. Thank you for all the: favorites, follows, fanart, the telling your friends about it, the skits that I've been asked permission about/seen, the fics inspired by this (for fandoms that surprise me like Star Wars and Harvest Moon), for putting this fic in the 'Best Hetalia Fanfictions' community (though even after all this time, I'm still confused as to why), and of course, the many many reviews that this fic has received since it began (this is almost about as many reviews as my other 98 other fic reviews **combined**). I would like to thank Mikiko97, whom was the reader who suggested the name for this fic in the first place. I would like to thank all the reviewers who requested stuff (you know who you are) and the reviewer who asked for most of the cosplay (zettaslow), because otherwise the fic would have been at least 20 chapters shorter. I would like to thank the readers who comforted me during my BSOD. And lastly, the readers who have been here since Small World and the new readers who are most likely bemoaning the fact that they walked in late.  
><em>

_Me: Now, for the final review letters. (Reads a letter) Congratulations Italy, Japan, Ladonia, and Canada! You are the last nations requested! (Opens the fourth wall door) That means you get to walk this time!_

_Nations: (Walk towards the door) Really?_

_Me: Nah, that wouldn't be fun. (Pushes a button)_

_Nations: (Get ejected by the floor over the wall)_

_Me: (Reads several letters) Yes, Romano is driving. Yes, Spain is the (crying for his life) backseat driver. And now...  
><em>

_Everyone: Hetalia is owned by Hidekaz Himaruya. Not Bri. Enjoy the final chapter._

* * *

><p>Scotland was casually sitting on his porch, staring out to the hills.<em><br>_

Yes, _his_. He changed himself back already. So now all he was doing was waiting for his brother... sister... _sibling_ to arrive.

He stared at his watch. "If ah called him an hoor ago... shood be here in... suin."

Meanwhile somewhere on the road...

"England! Let me drive!" America said as he made another grab for the wheel.

England was pushing him back with one hand. "No!"

"Please?"

"Never!"

"But you're driving like an old lady!"

"And _you _drive about as well as you do in your stupid video games!"

"Hey! My driving skills in Grand Theft Auto are _fine_!"

America and England started having a slap fight over the wheel, causing the car to drift back and forth. Nations behind them who tried avoiding their car ended up in a three-car pileup. Thankfully nobody got hurt because Finland convinced Sealand to install eject buttons into all the cars 'just in case'.

Just as the smoke started to clear up, China's car popped out of the wreckage. Completely unscratched.

"Aiyah! The others really need to watch where they're going, aru!" she said as she casually drove past England and America.

"See?" America said. "Even _China _got past you! Let me drive."

England gave America a glare then sighed. "Fine." She stopped the car. "But you better win. Jerk."

America gave her a smirk. "Bitch."

...

"Italy... May I drive for a while?" Germany asked nervously.

"Ve?" Italy turned around to talk to Germany, completely taking her eyes off the road. "Why Germany? I think we're almost there!"

"Italy..." Germany cleared her throat. "It's a matter safety."

"Safety?" Italy asked innocently. "But the car works fine! The engine's fine, the tires are perfect, and the wind is in my face!"

"It's not a matter of the car! It's your dri-"

"That cloud sort of looks like a bunny, doesn't it?"

"ITALY! YOUR DRIVING IS RECKLESS, UNCONTROLLED, AND YOU'RE GOING TO GET US KILLED-"

"Oh look! A gelato stand!"

The car jerked to a stop. If Germany hadn't been wearing a seat belt, she probably would have been flung into the window. There was a very loud _thump _as Japan was flung into the back of Germany's seat. She still was locked in fetal position.

"Japan, it's alright. We've stopped."

"If we've stopped, then why is the world still blurry?" Japan asked wearily.

Italy skipped up to the gelato stand that had a perfectly good reason to be out in the middle of Scotland with no people around for miles. "What flavors do you want, guys?"

"We don't want any!" Germany and Japan answered.

"Okay! One cherry gelato please!"

The mustached man selling gelato, who looked absolutely nothing like Romano, started fumbling around looking for where he kept the cherry flavor. "I'm so sorry," he said, "this could take a while."

Italy shrugged. "It's okay, I can wait!"

The gelato seller silently hoped that Spain followed through with her half of the plan and was nearly at Scotland's house already.

...

"R'mind m' not t' let Seal'nd and L'donia play Mario Kart," Sweden said as he avoided yet another banana peel.

"Come on, Sweden!" Finland said with a bright smile. "This is sort of fun!"

"Not w'th who's dr'ving."

"But your driving is fine."

At that moment, Denmark passed them with a loud "WOOHOO!". Seborga, who was driving Sealand's car, swerved in front of Denmark's car. So now the car full of micronations was driving _backwards _just so everyone could stick their tongues out at those behind him.

"W'sn't t'lking 'bout m' dr'ving," Sweden sighed.

"SEBORGA, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE DAMN ROAD!" Molossia said as she clung to her seat.

"Don't-a worry!" Seborga turned the car back around. "I've been-a driving for ages and I've only had a couple of accidents!"

Molossia raised an eyebrow. "_Only _a couple?"

Seborga waved a hand. "Italians turn reckless driving into an art form!"

Immediately in the back, Kugelmugel's sat up a bit straighter. "...Art?"

Sealand and Ladonia shared a nervous glance. "Uh oh..."

Kugelmugel started making her way to the front of the car. "Insane driving is... art?"

Seborga nodded. "Si! Why do you think they have-a the Grand Prix and-a chase scenes in movies and-a those colorful signs on every street?"

Kugelmugel's eyes widened. "Driving is art!"

At the moment, there was a scramble for the wheel. Kugelmugel dove for the wheel to make art. Molossia reached over to make sure someone who wouldn't drive them off a cliff was at the wheel. And Seborga just clung to the wheel wondering what the heck was going on.

"W-What'sa going on?"

"Give me the f_ing wheel!"

"Art!"

Ladonia sighed and reached for the big red button between the mess of arms.

"No! Not the eject butt-" _BOING._

...

"Bulgaria! Activate the oil slick!"

"Don't be bossy, Romania."

"_Please, _activate the oil slick?"

"That's much better."

A trail of oil spewed out of the back of Romania's shiny black (spare) getaway car. France swerved to avoid it while America ended up spinning out of control.

Up ahead there was fork in the road, with a sign pointing to the right that said "DANGER, DO NOT TURN HERE". France smirked as he slowed the car to a stop.

"Um... France?" Canada asked as Romania and Bulgaria sped past the sign. "What are you doing?"

"This will only take a second," France said smugly. He turned the sign around so that it would face the other way. "Alright. Now we can go."

After they left, America and England took the other direction. The two immediately noticed something was off.

"Um...? Where did the road go?"

"I'll get out and look."

England stepped out of the car and looked around. There didn't seem to be any trees out in front of them. Or anything really. There was a cliff behind them but...

Wait. _Behind _them?

England did a double-take then looked at the ground.

...There were several dozen feet of air between her feet and the ground.

"Oh... OH GOD!"

America stuck his head out the window and looked down. "HOLY CRAP! GET BACK IN THE CAR!"

"HOW ARE WE STILL EVEN IN THE AIR?!"

"DUDE, DON'T QUESTION IT! JUST _GET BACK IN THE CAR_!"

...

"How long does it take just to get _one _gelato?" Germany groaned in frustration.

"Germany-san, are you sure-"

"_Yes. _I am _through _with waiting, Japan."

Germany stormed out of the car and toward the gelato stand. The gelato vendor, who totally wasn't afraid of the big scary potato-bastard ready to kick his ass, ducked behind the stand and pulled out the "DISPIACE, WE'RE CLOSED" sign. Germany reached over and pulled the man out. The gelato vendor's mustache fell off.

"ROMANO!"

"PLEASE DON'T HURT ME, IT WAS SPAIN'S IDEA!"

"Ve... Does this mean I don't get my gelato?"

At that moment, most of the remaining cars rushed by them in a blur of color and wind. Germany facepalmed and let out an angry shout. She quickly scooped up a cup of gelato, shoved it into Italy's hands, then dragged both of the Italians toward the car.

"Germany, this isn't the flavor I wanted-"

"Just drive."

...

Spain could see Scotland's house. She grinned to herself proudly.

"I'm going to make it there first! Romano's going to be so happy his plan worked."

As if on cue, Spain heard a rumbling noise behind her. She turned around and her eyes widened to see that almost every other car was right behind her.

"When-?"

She decided to forget about it and just floored the gas pedal.

Scotland smirked as he saw everyone approach the finish line. He lazily raised a hand in the air and counted down. "THREE! TWO! ONE!"

All of the cars flew over the finish line in what was worthy of a photo finish.

But sadly, fanfics can't show photo finishes.

Which lead to a huge multi-sided argument with "I was here first" being flung about. Scotland sat back on his porch with a smirk, not making a move to stop them.

"Stop arguing, aru!" China said as she came out of her car. "Scotland said the first ten cars to arrive get to be cured."

At that moment, at least ten other nations poured out of China's car. Monaco gasped out for air. Egypt was grateful to be on solid and _stable _ground again. Finally, Wy shouted "I am _never _doing that again!"

Scotland counted off the cars. "Hm. Weel. Looks like there's nine ay ye. 'Main 'en, 'main 'en! Let's gie thes over wi'!"

...

England marched (read: stumbled) into _his _house and straight to the bookshelf. He grabbed the book that started this entire mess and shoved a paper between the pages. The paper was a 'promise' that he had made and read in his neat handwriting:

_I, the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, solemnly swear not to switch the gender of any nation without their permission._

He lazily shoved the book back on the shelf. "Finally!" he shouted to himself. "Finally, I have my house to myself again!"

He flopped onto the couch to take a nice, long, well-deserved nap. He had his eyes closed for about five minutes before he felt something nudge him. He opened an eye to see two faces he hadn't seen in ages.

"Miss Fairy...? Flying Mint Bunny..." he said sleepily. "Where have you two been?"

"Out of the line of fire," Bunny said bluntly. The fairy elbowed him.

"It's alright..." He sat up. "What is it?"

"You still have... a bit of a mess to clean up," Miss Fairy said as she gestured to the house.

England's eyes widened in horror. There were sandwich crumbs on the ground. There were muddy prints (the poor _carpet_) leading to the front door. There was some glitter on the walls. England swore he could hear something big stomping about upstairs, probably Thunder. There were flipped tables, and there was tomato sauce on the ceiling for some odd reason.

He let out a groan and flopped back onto the couch. "I'll clean that up _later_. For now, I just want some peace and rest."

Miss Fairy and Flying Mint Bunny watched as England finally fell asleep on the couch. They took a glance at each other before gathering the rest of the fairies in the house and helped clean up.

**Me: Ta-daaaaaa! Thank you for your patience! I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!**

**Everyone: Review!**


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